Disabled Technic Builders

[DarkShadow73]

@grum64- yeah it was a devastating injury and I will never have full use of my left hand again, I thought my Legoing days were done, the first few months I couldn't even grasp a pin or anything else that required any force to put together, how you ever did the Unimog (especially the pneumatics and those tight air lines) is astounding. Your story would inspire anybody, whether building Lego Technic items or anything else in life, its gotten so many comments, its kind of one of those stories that makes people sit back and appreciate and not take for granted what they've got, their hands, especially when it comes to Lego construction. And being such a different type of post/topic, 99 times out of 100 here its just about moc's and other Technic/Mindstorms related builds and modifications, it was definitely worth a good read. Keep it up buddy, hope to see you back showing off some moc's in the future, I'll be keeping my eye out for your posts...

Eric

Thank you for your kind words.

I'm sorry to read of the problems you been having with your fingers & hope that with continued therapy you continue improving.

Building the 8258 was difficult, it took me around 15 weeks building most days. It's a very impressive 'model'.

I've recently built the 8110 Uni Mog & have just about finished motorising it. Just doing a few minor alterations and it'll be done.

As you've found, if you set your mind to do something you can do it. If you enjoy doing it it gives you an extra dose of determination.

Thanks again for taking the time to write.

[grum64]

@grum64- yeah it was a devastating injury and I will never have full use of my left hand again, I thought my Legoing days were done, the first few months I couldn't even grasp a pin or anything else that required any force to put together, how you ever did the Unimog (especially the pneumatics and those tight air lines) is astounding. Your story would inspire anybody, whether building Lego Technic items or anything else in life, its gotten so many comments, its kind of one of those stories that makes people sit back and appreciate and not take for granted what they've got, their hands, especially when it comes to Lego construction. And being such a different type of post/topic, 99 times out of 100 here its just about moc's and other Technic/Mindstorms related builds and modifications, it was definitely worth a good read. Keep it up buddy, hope to see you back showing off some moc's in the future, I'll be keeping my eye out for your posts...

Eric

Mornin'

Good to hear from you again.

The pneumatics air lines were the only part of the Uni Mog build I didn't do. My amazingly patient wife connected those for me. I did try, I even dipped the end in my coffee in the hope it'd soften the end but I still couldn't do it. I just did the routing etc., after one end of each had been connected then Gilly made the final connections.

I've just about finished the alterations I've made to it & I'll post a few pics when done.

Edited April 28, 2012 by grum64

[allanp]

You built the unimog?! And made your own alterations? DUDE, YOUR'E AMAZING! And I don't mean that in a cheesey kinda motivational way, no, I mean you really, truly are amazing. I mean like seriously you could be on the news amazing!

Edit, I know I commented on you building the unimog (and similarly complex sets) before, clearly it has taken this long for the awesomeness of your achievements to sink in

Edited April 28, 2012 by allanp

[grum64]

You built the unimog?! And made your own alterations? DUDE, YOUR'E AMAZING! And I don't mean that in a cheesey kinda motivational way, no, I mean you really, truly are amazing. I mean like seriously you could be on the news amazing!

Edit, I know I commented on you building the unimog (and similarly complex sets) before, clearly it has taken this long for the awesomeness of your achievements to sink in

I'm humbled by the generosity of your comments. Thank you for your kindness.

I've nearly done what I want to the 'Mog. There's nothing special, not like some of the guys out there who build those amazing MOC's. Just simple things. I'll get a few pics taken & post them when I'm done.

[allanp]

I'm humbled by the generosity of your comments. Thank you for your kindness.

I've nearly done what I want to the 'Mog. There's nothing special, not like some of the guys out there who build those amazing MOC's. Just simple things. I'll get a few pics taken & post them when I'm done.

Can't wait to see them.

[arjanofski]

Nice story, very good to read. Maybe you could build a lego construction that 'actually' helps you with your builds. For example a machine that connects 2 parts.

[DarkShadow73]

@grum64-

Good afternoon to you, my friend...it is a pleasure talking to you again as well...

Easiest way to connect pneumatic tubing (for you wife of course) is to dip the ends in a small cup of water then connect to the valve bodies and cylinders, an AFOL I am personal friends with in Texas gave me that idea, works a lot better, especially when working in small spaces with pneumatics, I think the most challenging build I've had was the 8455 Backhoe Loader, tons of valves, cylinders and very little space to connect the tubing, especially for a guy with beefy fingers. Of course this was before the accident. Have you bought the 9397 Logging Truck, that is a fine model, both main and alternate models too...

Cheers to you and hope to see the pics when you get the time...

Mornin'

Good to hear from you again.

The pneumatics air lines were the only part of the Uni Mog build I didn't do. My amazingly patient wife connected those for me. I did try, I even dipped the end in my coffee in the hope it'd soften the end but I still couldn't do it. I just did the routing etc., after one end of each had been connected then Gilly made the final connections.

I've just about finished the alterations I've made to it & I'll post a few pics when done.

[jadedomg]

I read this story and it made me feel great that you are able to do it is inspiring. You asked if there is other disabled builders, I am one of them just not to the same extent as you are. On good days I have full use of my left arm and can get by with use of a cane for a short while. I can kind of hold shopping bags with my right arm so I can get out and go buy more lego ;) or groceries

After I was injured I spent over a year and a half in the hospital and when I got out I couldn't work and had nothing to do with my time. I was pretty lost with nothing to do. I had worked all my life from since I was 8 until I got injured. On a day trip with the hospital that was taking care of me, I saw the super car and bought it and figured it should be fun. I never had my own lego as it was a boy's toy to my parents so I only ever got exposed to what my brother would let me play with which wasn't much. When I opened the box and started putting it together and remembered what it was like to be doing something and how good it felt to be accomplishing something I could see! It sounds silly but having the set build up in front of me after being unable to do things for so long was the first good day I had since I got hurt.

After that super car I then picked up the 8051 motorcycle, a few weeks after that 8041 Truck and 8053 Mobile crane. After my accident I didn't have very many possessions left and what I did was in storage until I could live on my own permanently. I had a small room in a recovery home with a bed, dresser and tv but next thing you know lego started being built and took over the top of the dresser. When my doctors/specialists/therapists came to see me and noticed it and fairly quickly I was known as the lego girl by them. A few months later I was able to move into an apartment and be on my own and then my collection just exploded. I ended up buying every technic set that was available to me. I bought the extreme cruiser, backhoe loader, container truck (love the blue!), 8043 Excavator and ordered from bricklink 8258 Crane truck. My apartment was just like my other room soon covered with lego.

Unfortunately while I am able to live on my own and take care of myself for the most part I will never fully recover anymore than I have now so I am looking at going on 30 and having to find something to do during the day. I branched out of the technic line and picked up some creator, then alien conquest and star wars and a few modular houses so far. Life was looking pretty dark for me and I had nothing to really look forward to and felt lost then I picked up some abs bricks and at least then I could look forward to building them and taking them apart and then new and more sets coming down the line.

Sure some people don’t understand it exactly but they have never had to deal with not having a job to go to and what to do with all sorts of free time. I always felt as long as I enjoy it and it hurts no one I wouldn’t be ashamed of my pastimes. I feel lucky that I found this as a past time and at least when I have a bad day and can’t get out of bed or do anything I know that when I am feeling up to it I have something to do that I enjoy. It makes a difference.

Thank you Grum64 for sharing about yourself, and your experience with lego and life.

[grum64]

I read this story and it made me feel great that you are able to do it is inspiring. You asked if there is other disabled builders, I am one of them just not to the same extent as you are. On good days I have full use of my left arm and can get by with use of a cane for a short while. I can kind of hold shopping bags with my right arm so I can get out and go buy more lego ;) or groceries

After I was injured I spent over a year and a half in the hospital and when I got out I couldn't work and had nothing to do with my time. I was pretty lost with nothing to do. I had worked all my life from since I was 8 until I got injured. On a day trip with the hospital that was taking care of me, I saw the super car and bought it and figured it should be fun. I never had my own lego as it was a boy's toy to my parents so I only ever got exposed to what my brother would let me play with which wasn't much. When I opened the box and started putting it together and remembered what it was like to be doing something and how good it felt to be accomplishing something I could see! It sounds silly but having the set build up in front of me after being unable to do things for so long was the first good day I had since I got hurt.

After that super car I then picked up the 8051 motorcycle, a few weeks after that 8041 Truck and 8053 Mobile crane. After my accident I didn't have very many possessions left and what I did was in storage until I could live on my own permanently. I had a small room in a recovery home with a bed, dresser and tv but next thing you know lego started being built and took over the top of the dresser. When my doctors/specialists/therapists came to see me and noticed it and fairly quickly I was known as the lego girl by them. A few months later I was able to move into an apartment and be on my own and then my collection just exploded. I ended up buying every technic set that was available to me. I bought the extreme cruiser, backhoe loader, container truck (love the blue!), 8043 Excavator and ordered from bricklink 8258 Crane truck. My apartment was just like my other room soon covered with lego.

Unfortunately while I am able to live on my own and take care of myself for the most part I will never fully recover anymore than I have now so I am looking at going on 30 and having to find something to do during the day. I branched out of the technic line and picked up some creator, then alien conquest and star wars and a few modular houses so far. Life was looking pretty dark for me and I had nothing to really look forward to and felt lost then I picked up some abs bricks and at least then I could look forward to building them and taking them apart and then new and more sets coming down the line.

Sure some people don’t understand it exactly but they have never had to deal with not having a job to go to and what to do with all sorts of free time. I always felt as long as I enjoy it and it hurts no one I wouldn’t be ashamed of my pastimes. I feel lucky that I found this as a past time and at least when I have a bad day and can’t get out of bed or do anything I know that when I am feeling up to it I have something to do that I enjoy. It makes a difference.

Thank you Grum64 for sharing about yourself, and your experience with lego and life.

Good Evening (UK)

Thank you for taking the time to read 'my story' and for your reply.

It sounds as if you've been through it one way or another. I give you credit for your attitude, it's really good to hear that someone with a disability has some 'get up & go'. I know that many people with disabilities do some amazing things but they're in the minority. A good many who are capable of much more than they do, for a variety of reasons choose not to. That's a waste of life.

The 'theraputic' qualities of Lego and in particular, Lego Technic never ceases of amaze me. As you've found, the concentration needed to build these sets is most of the time, considerable, letting you forget lifes woes.

I think you'll soon be looking for a bigger place to live. Your Lego collection sounds vast, it'll soon be needing a place all it's own! If you haven't already, get yourself the 8110 UniMog. It's a difficult but really enjoyable build & an amazing thing to look at when finished. If not the UniMog (it is an expensive set) what's your next buy. Mines the Rock Crawler but it's not out until later in the year so I have time to save.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply. I wish you all the very best life can give.

Clive

[Rodeown]

Jadedomg, I can understand fully what you get from lego, i only found it this year and it has changed my life, as you state that feeling of been able to do something again is a very good feeling. It is nice that Grum64 and yourself have lego to challenge you and give you goals to aim for, I go to a pain management clinic and they teach us to find things that occupy us and challenge us at the same time, this supposedly helps distract from pain and your problems and gives you the feeling of achievement that everyone requires .

Thanks again to Grum64 for starting this thread as it is allowing us to share and know that we are not alone.

[jadedomg]

Good Evening (UK)

Thank you for taking the time to read 'my story' and for your reply.

It sounds as if you've been through it one way or another. I give you credit for your attitude, it's really good to hear that someone with a disability has some 'get up & go'. I know that many people with disabilities do some amazing things but they're in the minority. A good many who are capable of much more than they do, for a variety of reasons choose not to. That's a waste of life.

The 'theraputic' qualities of Lego and in particular, Lego Technic never ceases of amaze me. As you've found, the concentration needed to build these sets is most of the time, considerable, letting you forget lifes woes.

I think you'll soon be looking for a bigger place to live. Your Lego collection sounds vast, it'll soon be needing a place all it's own! If you haven't already, get yourself the 8110 UniMog. It's a difficult but really enjoyable build & an amazing thing to look at when finished. If not the UniMog (it is an expensive set) what's your next buy. Mines the Rock Crawler but it's not out until later in the year so I have time to save.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply. I wish you all the very best life can give.

Clive

Spending so much time in the hospital and in a recovery home I saw exactly how much some people do and how little a lot do. I just try my best and my attitude is that it can always be worse than it is so be happy for what I have.

Building has helped me focus and I do have sets off to the side for days that dealing with all my crap gets too much I can put together.

Space is a issue, and as I bought non technic sets it got crazy. The modulars are lovely sets and I will probably always have them displayed. I bought the unimog and it was fairly difficult the tubing was the hardest part and I made a few mistakes on the suspension when I made it that I had to tear it down and start over again because I couldn’t figure out my oops, the orange is great and it is the only pneumatic set for sale currently. I defiantly want the rock crawler and the helicopter that are upcoming and am undecided about the tractor I will have to see what other people think of it as the information and photos I have seen I am not sold yet.

Thanks for the well wishes! I have another surgery and the recovery/rehab for it to try and improve my quality of life.

Jadedomg, I can understand fully what you get from lego, i only found it this year and it has changed my life, as you state that feeling of been able to do something again is a very good feeling. It is nice that Grum64 and yourself have lego to challenge you and give you goals to aim for, I go to a pain management clinic and they teach us to find things that occupy us and challenge us at the same time, this supposedly helps distract from pain and your problems and gives you the feeling of achievement that everyone requires .

Thanks again to Grum64 for starting this thread as it is allowing us to share and know that we are not alone.

I agree that it does help just having that sense of achievement. Making my own meals, getting my own groceries and being able to slowly take care of myself made it all a little better. Every choice I make in the day has a consequence on my body and it is usually pain related and then followed by mobility.

Thanks to the internet it is easier to know other people with the same interests, I haven't met any AFOL's in the area who have a interest in the technic sets let alone anyone else who is disabled who enjoys lego.

[grum64]

Spending so much time in the hospital and in a recovery home I saw exactly how much some people do and how little a lot do. I just try my best and my attitude is that it can always be worse than it is so be happy for what I have.

Building has helped me focus and I do have sets off to the side for days that dealing with all my crap gets too much I can put together.

Space is a issue, and as I bought non technic sets it got crazy. The modulars are lovely sets and I will probably always have them displayed. I bought the unimog and it was fairly difficult the tubing was the hardest part and I made a few mistakes on the suspension when I made it that I had to tear it down and start over again because I couldn’t figure out my oops, the orange is great and it is the only pneumatic set for sale currently. I defiantly want the rock crawler and the helicopter that are upcoming and am undecided about the tractor I will have to see what other people think of it as the information and photos I have seen I am not sold yet.

Thanks for the well wishes! I have another surgery and the recovery/rehab for it to try and improve my quality of life.

I agree that it does help just having that sense of achievement. Making my own meals, getting my own groceries and being able to slowly take care of myself made it all a little better. Every choice I make in the day has a consequence on my body and it is usually pain related and then followed by mobility.

Thanks to the internet it is easier to know other people with the same interests, I haven't met any AFOL's in the area who have a interest in the technic sets let alone anyone else who is disabled who enjoys lego.

I hope all goes well with the surgery and wish you a speedy recovery. Also that the op gives you the improvement in your quality of life you want & undoubtably deserve.

Grum64

[jadedomg]

Thank you :). My biggest anxiety is I won't be able to put together my lego for a few weeks after the surgery. I did get the logging truck today and hope I get to start putting it together this Friday. With the new photos of the helicopter and 4x4 crawler I am excited for later this year though I don't think I will be able to find the sets until October.

[jadedomg]

I have recovered decently the last few weeks from being operated on. I am not getting back into being able to build. 9397 was the last model I buit and I enjoyed it very much.

My motor functions still aren't 100% and i have a lot more limitations for before, so i bought the 2011- 8068 helicopter and 8109 flatbead. I figure start smaller set then go to the flatbed and hopefully be ready to make the crawler hoping its out soon. I am still fairly medicated and tackling that looks to be a lot like the unimog but without pneumatics and dont want to have a repeat of me messing up every 10 minutes cause im a spacecadet.

With physio and medication, my life quality isnt exactly better for the moment but when physio is completed I will get to taiper off the narcotics hopefully easy.

All is well other than that, the military has been sending me people that have nothing to do in the day to see if I need anything done around the house. They literally meant anything and there master corporal gave me a list of things i can ask them , and if somethings not on the list to call him and ask him before i ask. My new neighbors have found it very strange so far seeing military men and women cut my grass, trim the trees and yet be so happy and having fun while doing it. Sometimes the support of others can make me happy just seeing how much they enjoy it and have no problem coming back off hours if I need anything.

[DLuders]

@ jadedomg: We hope your recovery progresses well, and that you will be able to enjoy your Lego (and other things) more and more!

[grum64]

I have recovered decently the last few weeks from being operated on. I am not getting back into being able to build. 9397 was the last model I buit and I enjoyed it very much.

My motor functions still aren't 100% and i have a lot more limitations for before, so i bought the 2011- 8068 helicopter and 8109 flatbead. I figure start smaller set then go to the flatbed and hopefully be ready to make the crawler hoping its out soon. I am still fairly medicated and tackling that looks to be a lot like the unimog but without pneumatics and dont want to have a repeat of me messing up every 10 minutes cause im a spacecadet.

With physio and medication, my life quality isnt exactly better for the moment but when physio is completed I will get to taiper off the narcotics hopefully easy.

All is well other than that, the military has been sending me people that have nothing to do in the day to see if I need anything done around the house. They literally meant anything and there master corporal gave me a list of things i can ask them , and if somethings not on the list to call him and ask him before i ask. My new neighbors have found it very strange so far seeing military men and women cut my grass, trim the trees and yet be so happy and having fun while doing it. Sometimes the support of others can make me happy just seeing how much they enjoy it and have no problem coming back off hours if I need anything.

Sorry to hear that you're not getting back into things as you'd like. Give it time, it'll happen. Like anyone faced with a period of recovery you're impatient to get going again and you will. From your 'writings' you seem like someone who won't stay down for long.

Starting with smaller Technic sets seems like a great place to start again. As we know, Lego is as good an aid to recovery as anything.

As for the help you're receiving from the military, what a wonderful scheme, 'win, win' whichever way you look at it.

All the best for a complete (& speedier) recovery. Keep us posted.

Edited July 19, 2012 by grum64

[jadedomg]

Thanks :) Patience is the hardest part of course. My motor control is getting better but be damned if I could thread the string or apply stickers too the helicopter.

As for my recovery, this week the plan is for me to go out and participate in doing groceries. I somehow need to sneak a trip to toys r us and see if the new sets are on the shelves ;) The specialists are happy with my progress overall. I am looking at a fairly good recovery for range and motion but the downside is pain is always going to be a factor unfortunately.

At least I can read eurobricks and check out bricklink to pass my good days. I am really loving the old idea books lego put out. I wish they had kept up with it even if it was just a quarterly thing they released on there website.

[SheepEater]

Very inspiring thread.

I'd say more, but I'm completely speechless.

Edited July 23, 2012 by SheepEater

[Legogal]

Thanks to folks for pointing out this thread, which appeared before I joined EB. I have often wondered about the avatar with the guy falling out of the wheelchair! Now it makes sense.

Most of us will face physical disabilities as we age, so learning about how to deal with them in a positive way before they arrive on our doorsteps is a big help.

When my knees and feet made it difficult for me to walk around much in 2008, I began looking for hobbies that could be done sitting down. Activities such as beading, building LEGO, reading and listening to music have become more important over time.

One aspect of getting into LEGO as an adult is that most adults are better able to afford to buy more toys than children can. So it is easier for us to expand our collections.

I would like to add my thanks for sharing of your story, grum64. We all need to be thankful for the things we can do and appreciate how difficult it is for some folks to do what we feel are the simplest things. Sometimes we forget how hard life is for many folks, and that is how we lose our human-ness. And it helps us remember how little effort it requires of us to help those in need with everyday errands and activities. In long periods of recovery after multiple surgeries, it made my day when strangers in the store would offer to reach something out of my range while riding in a cart to shop. Now I try to remember to ask folks if I can grab something for them. They say that the givers receive more than the recipients of ones kind acts.

On another note, it is wonderful seeing the benefits of playing with LEGO to combat depression and other illnesses. It certainly beats being doped up with strong meds for long periods of time. So if you have a friend recovering from surgery or depression, you might want to try taking a few LEGO over and seeing if you can build something together.

[Rishab N]

I just discovered this thread as it happened before I joined too and I have to say that you have an extremely inspiring story. After all this time on Eurobricks , I never knew about this. I find it amazing that you and other disabled builders still build without giving up. I couldn't imagine having to live with something like that and the fact that you do it gains you my infinite respect. Again very inspiring story and best of luck with further builds

[rm8]

Have never read this topic before. So many different people are here among us.

Thanks for Grum64 for sharing his story. Glad he is strong enough to share it and keep living and enjoying life. This post should make us value our life, health and thank God for what we have.

[Paul B Technic]

Not exactly the same as this is mental not physical. How LEGO helped me to recover from major depression :(

My Story

I have suffered with depression / mental illness for many years; I am still the same person I always was but now I have a name for it, a reason for the way I have felt and some of what I have done in the past.

When I talk about my depression / mental illness (and I like to call it my depression / mental illness as this means I am taking ownership of it) I refer to it as a journey, it is not an end and I don’t think I will ever be able to say I don’t have depression /mental

illness as it will always be a part of me. Often it is said you can’t know how something feels until you experience it for yourself, I think with depression / mental illness everybody who experiences it travels a slightly different path and while some factors / symptoms / experiences might be common between people, some other parts of the journey can be totally different. Saying that everybody who suffers from depression / mental illness is the same and has the same experiences and needs the same treatments is like saying that all people who have cancer are the same or all people who get a cold have the same experiences, it is just not true. If other people who also suffer from depression / mental illness have trouble understanding what is happening to you what hope does the rest of society have in understanding you?

Depression / mental illness is more than just being sad, it a total loss of all interests and pleasure in life, a total feeling of hopelessness and emptiness which you cannot fill. It is like trying to fight a war where the enemies’ strategy is to make you think the war is not actually happening.

First some facts on depression / mental illness / mental illness in Australia:

- One in five (20%) Australians aged 16-85 experience a mental illness in any year.

- Almost half (45%) Australians will experience a mental illness in their lifetime.

When you are diagnosed with any illness it is common to think back and try to work out what went wrong and when it happened, in my case I know exactly when this was, it has only been recently that I have put this all together and that a lot of things have started to make sense.

In early 2005 I was living with a woman who I was engaged to, we had purchased a house 18 months before and were planning our wedding. My contract at work was up and while I was 99% sure this would be renewed I also applied for some other jobs, just as a backup. As luck would have it I got an interview for one of these other jobs and this lead me to be offered the position. This position was paying more than my current role, was permanent and had more scope for me to progress my career. I also received a phone call to say that I was being offered my current role on another three year contract.

That night we were visiting my partners parents for dinner and on the drive down we spoke about the offer and what I was going to do, this was to take the new position. My partner seemed happy enough with this decision.

Over the next week as I was finishing up in my current role and preparing for the new job things changed, she was very distant and it was almost like she was half out of the relationship (Not that I saw this at the time) On the last Monday in my current role I arrived home from work only for her to tell me that things with us were over and we were breaking up. I was shocked.

In the space of a week:

- I had split up with my partner of three years.

- Moved out (back with my parents)

- Put the house on the market

- Left my job of over three years

- Started a new job

I was very lucky that my new work colleges were very understanding after I explained what had happened. Given I was now single I threw myself in to my new job. Those first few months were quite hard, cleaning up the house to sell it, arranging for us to split up our belongings and starting a new job. I was so busy with all of this I never really gave myself time to come to terms with the break up. This was a huge mistake.

Later that year once the house had been sold and I got my half of the settlement it did become real, I saw in a dollar value what the last three years of my life had been worth, it was a sad sight.

Over the next few years I went along and life seemed fairly good, under the surface I was falling apart. I had lost all my faith and trust in people and I also became quite sick, these two things combined to make me in to a not very nice person. A couple of partners came and went. The biggest issue I had was handling change, given the last time I had a big change in my life a lot of bad stuff happened at the same time, I associated the slightest change in my work, personal life or hobbies with this and I became quite upset and defensive. I just wanted everything to stay as it was. I also felt like I was losing control of a lot of my life and this made dealing with people very hard. I also lost all my confidence in myself and my ability to make decisions as the last time I made a decision I felt that it had caused the relationship to fail. This made me not want to make any decisions, even ones as simple as what to have for dinner or what I wanted to do each day.

Up until early 2008 the one constant thing in my life for the previous 10 years had been my hobby of radio scanning, it was the one thing that I really enjoyed and I had met some good people because of it. I started a Yahoo group which grew in to a forum. In early 2008 I had been dating a woman but she was not at all keen on my hobby, she hated it to be honest. We spoke about moving in together but she was not keen at the time, funnily enough around this time I got in to photography and left the radio scanning hobby, then she was happy to move in with me. Within 12 months we had split up and I moved in to a unit by myself. Again I didn't let myself be sad about this and I threw myself in to work and my hobbies. With my new freedom I continued in both hobbies to some extent but this was when the problems really started.

This brings me to the real start of my problems. With so much free time and money I could do whatever I want, the problem was that I didn't know what that was that I wanted to do. Late Sunday afternoons would be the worst as I would look back at the weekend and feel that no matter what I had done it was wrong and a waste of time. If I had of been out taking photos I would think they were not good enough, if I had of been listening to my radio scanners I would think that I had not heard anything interesting enough. I was trying to justify to myself if the amount of time and money I was spending on my hobbies was worth it given the enjoyment I was getting out of them, I kept coming up short.

Over and over again I would change my hobbies hoping to find some level of enjoyment to justify my past choices and the problems they had caused to me and others. Eventually I got to the point where I burnt my bridges in both the photography and radio scanning hobbies and I hurt some people along the way which I am very sorry about, at the time I could not see what I was doing.

The next few years I was moving between both these hobbies and I also rekindled my interest in LEGO. I was lucky enough to find some people online who shared my passion and this has been a very positive step for me. Even with this change I have still moved between the various hobbies but now I am finally starting to settle down and stick to what I want to do without worrying so much about what other people think or if the amount of time, money and effort I am putting in to something is worth the outcomes it brings.

In 2012 I started to experience some issues mostly at work, the smallest problems would get blown out of proportion in my head and I saw even the smallest issues as a direct personal attack on me and who I was as a person. When what you do becomes a huge part of how you see yourself as a person and you feel you are not living up to your own or other people’s expectations then you end up questioning who you are as a person and your own self worth. I was putting a lot of time and effort in to “weather proofing” every aspect of my life, in the end I was wearing myself out and burning the candle at both ends and also in the middle, something had to give. It did. It was me.

I had a couple of run-ins with people at work about the smallest things, in the end I knew something was not right and I went to the doctor who put me on some tablets, I took these for a while but I was not ready to admit to myself that I needed them so I stopped taking them. Everything went okay for a while but then I started going back to how I was.

In the later part of 2013 things came to a head, I had turned in to the sort of person I never wanted to be and those around me made me see that things needed to change. I went and saw a different doctor who ran some tests and found an underlying cause which is now being treated. I am taking a number of medications and these seem to be making a difference, I am still not where I want to be in myself but I am on the right track now.

2014 is the chance for me to make the changes I feel I need to make, both to my lifestyle and my thought processes so that I can enjoy life again. I am very excited about things again which is a huge change for me and my life is now heading in the direction I want. I am making good process with my LEGO hobby, I am excited about our various Brixhibitions and helping to run these, my attitude to work has improved as has my home life and I am now setting goals and making plans which I never would have done before.

Things are still not perfect and I have had a few times where I have gone back to my old ways and thought processes, the difference now is that I can recognise this happening and stop it. I hope as time goes on this happens less and less and I can become the person who I want to be, the person those closest to me deserve. Only I have the power to make this happen.

In the end I really do think that by using work and my hobbies to fill the gap in my life back in 2005 and not letting myself grieve the end of that relationship at the time like I should have, I carried pain, guilt and regret for a number of years that I didn't have to.

http://paulstechnic....depression.html

Edited September 18, 2014 by Paul B

[__________________________]

Inspiring story :grin:

[Richard Dower]

I think Lego DOES help with depression most certainly...it focuses the mind, takes your mind off other "stuff" and uses the creative part of the brain moreso the emotional part. I also think it could help with physical issues, with the hands...though i am no doctor, i just assume using the muscles in your hands is a good thing....though lol, my hands are usually in bits are a few hours of building.

Thanks for telling your story Paul, i am sure there are others out there who have suffered from depression at some point in their lives, i think everyones does tbh.

[jantjeuh]

Damn, and I thought I had it rough building the past few weeks while the nail of my left thumb was peeling off Seriously though, much respect to you - grum64, Paul B, and others - for letting nothing getting it the way of your (Technic) hobby. Your perseverance is inspiring.