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My PTV Contest Entry: Small


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30 replies to this topic  – Started by Zepher , Oct 11 2008 09:28 PM

#1 Zepher

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:28 PM

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Okay, so here's my first ever pirate MOC.  I know that it doesn't have a lot of stuff packed into it, like some Vigs can/do, but I liked it simple, so kept it like that.  I focused on making nice planks and so other cool stuff, but still, mainly simple.  I€™m hoping to come in third; it was creative at the very least.

Okay, so when I heard about PTV I thought about how, maybe, the pirate's life isn't as bad, and maybe I could show their cruelty another way, like them effecting others by looting too much.  So, here we go!

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Captain Fang-Russ, after a good and long night at the bar, comes back to his ship and is surprised to see his gang-plank already lowered.  As he stands there confused a British Officer walks off his boat, carrying some of his treasure.  This simply confuses Fang-Russ more.  Noticing the Pirate Captain the Officer looks apologetic.  €œI€™m sorry,€ he says €œbut we need it far more than you.  We€™re not getting paid any more you see.  You€™ve taken the money they would use to pay us.€  He then walks off, followed y many of his fellow soldiers, each lugging one of Fang Russ€™ treasure chests after them.

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The scene

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The figures (and bird)

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-Zeph :pir-tongue:

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#2 Tim Bit

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:36 PM

Thats a nice little moc. I'm not great at sugesting on improvment ( mainly because I never see reason why it should be inproved :pir-tongue: )
I love the cute little bird nice use of banana.
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#3 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:37 PM

I like it. Simple, but well thought out and effective. Improvement though, would be to replace the blu on the gangplank with black, grey, or even better, tan.
I hope this helps. Good luck! :pir-classic:
EDIT: I just noticed that you have made use of an elastic band - It needs to go as it is non lego and is not allowed otherwise that clever entry will be disqualified. And I can see no way how you could have attached the parrot to the shoulder without non-lego assistance, which will also kill your chances. Sorry, but I'm helping you a lot here.

Edited by Captain Zuloo, 11 October 2008 - 09:41 PM.

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#4 Zepher

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:41 PM

I would of loved to, but I don't have any of the right pices.  There is a chance that I'll do that later, but i liked the idea of a colorful pirate ship, and I decided to keep this MOC basically fairly uncolored (a few basic colors)

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#5 Adam

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:43 PM

I can't find many gripes with this entry, but I have noticed some:

1. The gangplank would look better in grey, bley, or some other color than blue and brown.

2. The bird's perch would look better in brown.

3. I can't quite see what this has to do with pillaging a village.

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#6 Zepher

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:45 PM

I thought it was just meant to be Pirates ruining many a lives, and it was also somehwat switching the tables, the Pirates were being pillaged becuase they pillanged.  If it's to far off of what we need to do, I'd be grateful if a MOD/ADMIN told me so I could do a different one!

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#7 Legoking

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 10:19 PM

Opinion
This is a confusing story plot to understand, but it is good. I like the dock and can tell you put a lot of effort into making this MOC. I like how you made the gang-plank. What is funny is that the British officer is walking off with the pirate’s treasure. I liked you added humor to your MOC in particular. Of course, you added the rainbow parrot. It is always good to have that in a MOC. Three other things I noticed that I liked. The bird you have created, I liked how you used the banana as his nose. Nice use of fruit. The torch the pirate is holding, is that custom made? If so, great job creating it. The last thing is you used a rubber band as a sword sling. You thought outside of the box that time.

Possible Improvements

1) Maybe you could have had the British officer picking up the treasure that he stole.

That is pretty much it. I don't have anything else to suggest about your MOC.

Overall- I think this is a great MOC and a possible winning entry. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

Edited by LegoKing, 14 October 2008 - 02:45 AM.

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#8 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 10:23 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Oct 12 2008, 08:19 AM, said:

This is a confusing story plot to understand.
I think your'e a bit of a dope then.  :pir_laugh2: Even more than phred!  :imperialguard_commander1: This is an incredibly simple plot to understand. You're just not very smart!

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#9 Zorro

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 11:21 PM

My opinion:

Quote

Okay, so here's my first ever pirate MOC.
Very good for a "first ever"! I like the story you told and the wooden planks, your minifigs are great too.
That bird you made is in one word: COOL. The use of faces: very good.
Unfortunatly it isn't that cruel and however the fact it's funny, it (maybe) isn't as close to the PTV theme as some other MOCs, but then again: it is your first one and it probably is a WIP, so... :thumbup: from me, Zepher !

Possible improvements:

1) Add more cruelty to this if possible, I know it's cruel to the pirate to just take away (or back) his treasury, but I'm afraid that might not be enough for some members and judges...

2) Try to create another way to bind the planks to the ship, because like this it seems there is water between them and that is impossible since it is well above the waterline.

3) For your first pic, which will be used to judge your entry, I advise to make the minifigs look a little bit towards the lens (and us), this way we can see a little bit more, like their expressions...

4) I don't know if the gangway exceeds the limitations or not, I think some overlay is allowed but I don't know how many.
Maybe you'd better ask a staff member, just to be certain you know...

5) Maybe you could open the chest and show a lot of gold pieces, this might add to the story.

Non-brick related advise:

1) Did you use glue (for the parrot or other things), or custom pieces? Read the rules well and see you are following them, or they have the right to disqualifie you...and no one wants that, do they? :pir-classic:
This is one line that comes directly from the rules: Only unmodified, authentic LEGO brand parts are allowed.
Da rules.


2) Correct some (very) minor spelling mistakes/typo's like: followed by many.



Glad to have you around here and I hope more entries to the other divisions will follow ! :pir-wink:
PS: I just have to repeat the fact that your banana bird looks supergood!

Edited by zorro3999, 11 October 2008 - 11:25 PM.


#10 SirNadroj

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 11:27 PM

The toucan is pretty nice.  :thumbup:

#11 CPT. Jr

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 11:54 PM

Great job, i love the dock thing with the disorganized planks. Clever useage of lego pieces such as the banana, and what was the torch made of?
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#12 Erdbeereis

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 12:09 AM

Nice entry for a first time Zepher!
Your brick-built toucan is lovely and the planks on the dock look great as well.

Here are a few improvements you could make.

1) The blue tiles on the gangplank give the effect that the planks are an extension of the dock, thus making it look slightly strange angled like that.
This problem would easily be solved by switching out the blue tile for brown, black or even gray, just for a contrast to the water.

2) I actually like your idea behind this, but feel most members will think that this isn't gruesome enough for Pillage the Village. So I think you may want to reconsider your entry.

I think you can pull this out in the end though! Nice work!

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#13 Thomas B.

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 03:46 AM

The elastic band is a legal Lego part. Link... http://peeron.com/inv/parts/x151. This MOC is not suited for this competition, considering it has no gore. It's a great MOC though.

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#14 Zepher

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 04:32 AM

Lots of things to respond to, so I'll try to hit them all!

View PostLegoKing, on Oct 11 2008, 10:19 PM, said:

Opinion
This is a confusing story plot to understand, but it is good. I like the dock and can tell you put a lot of effort into making this MOC. I like how you made the gang-plank. What is funny is that the British officer is walking off with the pirate’s treasure. I liked you added humor to your MOC in particular. Of course, you added the rainbow parrot. It is always good to have that in a MOC. Three other things I noticed that I liked. The bird you have created, I liked how you used the banana as his nose. Nice use of fruit. The torch the pirate is holding, is that custom made? If so, great job creating it. The last thing is you used a rubber band as a sword sling. You thought outside of the box that time.

Possible Improvements

1) Maybe you could have had the British officer picking up the treasure that he stole.

That is pretty much it. I don't have anything else to suggest about your MOC.

Overall- I think this is a great MOC and a possible winning entry. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

Thanks.  I tried to be creative with parts, and I feel that it payed off.  I don't think that the story is confusing, but that may be becuase I wrote it...


View Postzorro3999, on Oct 11 2008, 11:21 PM, said:

My opinion:


Very good for a "first ever"! I like the story you told and the wooden planks, your minifigs are great too.
That bird you made is in one word: COOL. The use of faces: very good.
Unfortunatly it isn't that cruel and however the fact it's funny, it (maybe) isn't as close to the PTV theme as some other MOCs, but then again: it is your first one and it probably is a WIP, so... :thumbup: from me, Zepher !

Possible improvements:

1) Add more cruelty to this if possible, I know it's cruel to the pirate to just take away (or back) his treasury, but I'm afraid that might not be enough for some members and judges...

2) Try to create another way to bind the planks to the ship, because like this it seems there is water between them and that is impossible since it is well above the waterline.

3) For your first pic, which will be used to judge your entry, I advise to make the minifigs look a little bit towards the lens (and us), this way we can see a little bit more, like their expressions...

4) I don't know if the gangway exceeds the limitations or not, I think some overlay is allowed but I don't know how many.
Maybe you'd better ask a staff member, just to be certain you know...

5) Maybe you could open the chest and show a lot of gold pieces, this might add to the story.

Non-brick related advise:

1) Did you use glue (for the parrot or other things), or custom pieces? Read the rules well and see you are following them, or they have the right to disqualifie you...and no one wants that, do they? :pir-classic:
This is one line that comes directly from the rules: Only unmodified, authentic LEGO brand parts are allowed.
Da rules.


2) Correct some (very) minor spelling mistakes/typo's like: followed by many.



Glad to have you around here and I hope more entries to the other divisions will follow ! :pir-wink:
PS: I just have to repeat the fact that your banana bird looks supergood!

Thanks for the praise!  I did use a rubberband to hold both the sword and the parrot in place, you can see that it goes all the way up on one side!  I may go with some of your suggestions, namely showing lots of treasure in the chest.  Never occured to me...  I also didn't know that my first pic would be the one judged, I'll switch thier order so the second one is first!


View PostSirNadroj, on Oct 11 2008, 11:27 PM, said:

The toucan is pretty nice.  :thumbup:

Thanks Norjad.  It's a honor to have you comment on one of my MOCs.  I bult it first for a Dr. Seuss thing, but felt it worked better here!


View PostCPT. Jr, on Oct 11 2008, 11:54 PM, said:

Great job, i love the dock thing with the disorganized planks. Clever useage of lego pieces such as the banana, and what was the torch made of?

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View PostErdbeereis1, on Oct 12 2008, 12:09 AM, said:

Nice entry for a first time Zepher!
Your brick-built toucan is lovely and the planks on the dock look great as well.

Here are a few improvements you could make.

1) The blue tiles on the gangplank give the effect that the planks are an extension of the dock, thus making it look slightly strange angled like that.
This problem would easily be solved by switching out the blue tile for brown, black or even gray, just for a contrast to the water.

2) I actually like your idea behind this, but feel most members will think that this isn't gruesome enough for Pillage the Village. So I think you may want to reconsider your entry.

I think you can pull this out in the end though! Nice work!

If a MOD/ADMIN tells me it's not evil enough, I'll hapily change it.  Otherwise I tried to think out of the box, even in the cruelty factor, so made thier hunters not get any pay.  If that's bad, so be it!


View PostThomas B., on Oct 12 2008, 03:46 AM, said:

The elastic band is a legal Lego part. Link... http://peeron.com/inv/parts/x151. This MOC is not suited for this competition, considering it has no gore. It's a great MOC though.

MOC On!  :jollyroger:

Bingo!  I didn't know there had to be gore, maybe I'll put a floting IS head under the dock  :pir-tongue: But is that really in the rules?

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#15 Erdbeereis

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 04:37 AM

I think you've done a good job on this and I actually prefer your idea to things with tons of gore. However, as gore is the main point of the contest it might need some. :pir-tongue:

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#16 Guss

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 09:25 AM

your moc is nice ! really nice! the bird is coool and the scene is nice, good job  :thumbup:
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#17 Razzer

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 10:10 AM

I love this MOC/VIG! And you've really sneaked a lot of fruit in there, I see a banana toucan, a carrot torch, all that's left now is an apple gangplank (kidding :pir_laugh2: )
Good luck with the contest!
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#18 Zepher

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 01:57 AM

Thanks all! Again, it was really fun.  Hoping for atleast third!  I may try for Medium now!

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#19 JimBee

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:22 AM

Very nice, Zepher, here's my critiquing, if you want it. :pir-tongue:

What I like:
The bird is ingenious, very clever use of the banana.:thumbup: The pirate is also good with the sword attached by the rubber band. The scrambled planks are pretty good, as well.

What could be improved:
I'm not really sure what the gangplank is supposed to be like because of the blue stripes. Are those water streaks or just paint? Either way, I suggest you change it so it doesn't blend in so much. Also, perhaps you should change the head of the soldier so he doesn't look so scruffy, unless you're trying to make a point of showing how poor he is. One little nitpick would be the dark bley studs under the dock, the kind of stick out, so maybe change those to brown.

But very good wntry, and good luck on the contest! :pir-classic:

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#20 Zepher

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:50 AM

View PostJimButcher, on Oct 13 2008, 03:22 AM, said:

Very nice, Zepher, here's my critiquing, if you want it. :pir-tongue:

Thanks but no thanks... to late...  :pir_laugh2:

View PostJimButcher, on Oct 13 2008, 03:22 AM, said:

What I like:
The bird is ingenious, very clever use of the banana.:thumbup: The pirate is also good with the sword attached by the rubber band. The scrambled planks are pretty good, as well.

What could be improved:
I'm not really sure what the gangplank is supposed to be like because of the blue stripes. Are those water streaks or just paint? Either way, I suggest you change it so it doesn't blend in so much. Also, perhaps you should change the head of the soldier so he doesn't look so scruffy, unless you're trying to make a point of showing how poor he is. One little nitpick would be the dark bley studs under the dock, the kind of stick out, so maybe change those to brown.

But very good wntry, and good luck on the contest! :pir-classic:

Thanks, I was just playing around with parts and the bird appeared out of no where!  Gangplank is paint, but I'll most likly change it at this point...  The dark gray are the only I have enough of, but they are meant to  be nails anyways...

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#21 Legoking

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 03:58 AM

View PostCaptain Zuloo, on Oct 11 2008, 10:23 PM, said:

I think your'e a bit of a dope then.  :pir_laugh2: Even more than phred!  :imperialguard_commander1: This is an incredibly simple plot to understand. You're just not very smart!

Your not very nice Captain Zuloo.  :pir_bawling: Something wise, don't say people are dumb, it is not such a smart thing to do.
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#22 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:20 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Oct 13 2008, 12:58 PM, said:

Your not very nice Captain Zuloo.  :pir_bawling: Something wise, don't say people are dumb, it is not such a smart thing to do.
Huh? Now I'm just confused! Anyway, this is a pirate forum, so saying "you're a dope" is the least of our problems...

Edited by Captain Zuloo, 13 October 2008 - 02:21 PM.

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#23 Zorro

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:26 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Oct 13 2008, 05:58 AM, said:

Your not very nice Captain Zuloo.  :pir_bawling: Something wise, don't say people are dumb, it is not such a smart thing to do.

Oh, I don't think he meant it that way, he was just joking...look at his smilies...

#24 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:32 PM

View Postzorro3999, on Oct 13 2008, 11:26 PM, said:

Oh, I don't think he meant it that way, he was just joking...look at his smilies...
Yeah! They were signifying as a joke - I think you understood that?

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#25 Cameron_Talley

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 03:43 PM

I like this little vignette.  The uneven dock planks look great, and as others have said the toucan is really inspired.  I like the use of the elastic band to hold the parrot and sword.

Things I would change:  As others have mentioned, the blue tiles on the part of the dock that hangs out need to go.  It just looks odd.  Also, I'm not sure if that gangway plank is legal hanging out from the MOC like that...Ask an admin.  

Finally, while it's a nice little scene and a nice idea, it doesn't seem to fit the spirit of the contest, which to me is more about showing the cruelty of pirates.  You might want to consider a different idea...




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