The Story of Niro: The Beginning

[Yzalirk]

[somewhere in The Siccus Badlands by the Arkbri River, begins the story of Niro Goldwine. It's daytime with the scorching sun beaming down on Kaliphlin. Niro's father, Septimus, has returned from sacking a caravan. It was strange though, it had no goods and a few caravaneers. He sits down and talks to his wife, Viera, and son, Niro.]

Septimus: Hey honey, how are you this evening?

Viera: I'm fine, where are the goods?

Septimus​: It's strange, there was nothing. The caravan had absolutely nothing.

Viera: We need some food and water, we haven't had anything all day!

Septimus: I know honey, and neither have I!

[septimus hears the sound of what seems like footsteps nearby.]

Captain Wulf: Put down the spear, Septimus, or prepare to face your fate!

Septimus: Over my cold, dead body! DIE!

[surrounding the Goldwine family are three sell-swords from Barqa, ready to slaughter one of the fiercest marauder couple. Captain Wulf, the one in the black armor prepares to battle Septimus.]

Captain Wulf: Time to meet your creator, bandit.

Septimus: AAAAARRGHHHH!

Viera: [Gasps.]

Niro: No! Father!?

[Laying face down and defeated, Septimus no longer breathes.]

Captain Wulf: Zedrick, take away Mr. Septimus.

Zedrick: With pleasure, Captain.

[Zedrick, the one with the claws, drags Septimus' lifeless corpse away. Viera and Niro both begin to wheep.]

Captain Wulf: Your turn, Wench.

[With one stab, Captain Wulf murders Viera.]

Vier: [Gurgles.]

Captain Wulf: Zedrick, grab the kid and let's go, we'll be back to murder the rest of this scum another day.

Zedrick: Yes, Captain! [begins to laugh.]

Commander Valrimil: Mighty fine work, both of you! Barqa will praise you two for your deeds today!

Captain Wulf & Zedrick: Thank you, sir.

Commander Valrimil: Let's return to Barqa before nightfall before the "creatures" from The Withered Woods come out.

[The three begin to return to Barqa. Who knows who the "creatures" are that Commander Valrimil speaks of? Maybe we will meet them some day.]

Edited August 14, 2014 by Behemoth

[MKJoshA]

You have some great story writing skills. A little gruesome perhaps, but compelling. As Barqa is currently a very reputable city with it's own active builder I'm not quite sure where these ruffians are coming from. I might suggest coming up with your own city that is near Barqa to prevent stepping on any toes.

You build has some great minifig combos. I like epaulette and armor combo especially. Your ground is a little sparse, but you're certainly captured that in-the-middle-of-the-desert feel. Also, you've mentioned in the past that your photography skills are slowing you down but I'm not seeing there here. Yes, there is room for improvement. But I've seen far worse from other beginners.

[Mike S]

Nicely done as you say you have only a limited selection of Lego at the moment. Keep it up!

You have some great story writing skills. A little gruesome perhaps, but compelling. As Barqa is currently a very reputable city with it's own active builder I'm not quite sure where these ruffians are coming from. I might suggest coming up with your own city that is near Barqa to prevent stepping on any toes.

This is quite a few years in the past. When Mikel Kalores (now known as Masa) first set foot in Barqa, he defeated the evil warlord that was in current control of the city. I imagine this takes place before he arrived. After being absent for quite a few years, Mikel handed over his stewardship of the city to Lord Gideon who hesitantly took the position.

[Yzalirk]

You have some great story writing skills. A little gruesome perhaps, but compelling. As Barqa is currently a very reputable city with it's own active builder I'm not quite sure where these ruffians are coming from. I might suggest coming up with your own city that is near Barqa to prevent stepping on any toes.

You build has some great minifig combos. I like epaulette and armor combo especially. Your ground is a little sparse, but you're certainly captured that in-the-middle-of-the-desert feel. Also, you've mentioned in the past that your photography skills are slowing you down but I'm not seeing there here. Yes, there is room for improvement. But I've seen far worse from other beginners.

Thank you. As for gruesome, nothing is ever happy and rainbows and unicorns, in a Medieval-like universe, there will always be death. I will try to think of a name of a small town or something instead of using Barqa so I don't have to worry about trying to build a replica of it. My photography is definitely getting better but that's still one of my own WIP's as of right now. I'm not sure what everyone else uses but I'm stuck with a Kodak EasyShare C140 as of now.

Nicely done as you say you have only a limited selection of Lego at the moment. Keep it up!

Thank you, this means a lot. And like I said previously, Niro Goldwine won't be my permanent sig-fig. However, when I do the story for my new sig-fig when I get more parts next month, Niro Goldwine will be incorporated somehow.

EDIT: As for the story, expect Part Two sometime next week!

Edited August 14, 2014 by Behemoth

[Bregir]

Great scene and story, Behemoth. I will be looking forward for the following chapters

Further, I really like your minifig posing.

[Simon_S]

Nice build ! It's good to see some builds from you.

[Gideon]

Good job with the story-writing and minifig posing! Maybe the boy looks too happy however having just watched his parents die? The ground is a bit sparse but for a MOC with so much else happening it does the job. I agree that the photography is better than what we usually see from new members (great background!) but I think you should try to get the pictures a bit sharper in the future.

Barqa is home to various kinds of sell-swords and irregular troops (like the troops here not dressed in the official city guard outfits) and these are often hired to take care of threats to the trade routs. Like the story here the ends usually justifies the means and the Council of Barqa seldom asks too many questions how a threat has been dealt with as long as the attacks to the vital caravans or shipping stop

So even if this was years ago not too much have changed, Barqa still takes threats to the trade very seriously!

I think this gruesome story fits very well into a fantasy Middle Eastern setting like Kaliphlin.

[Gabe]

Cool intro story for your character, Behemoth. The minifig posing is good and the action is cropped nice and tight. I agree that Niro is a bit smiley under the circumstances, perhaps it would be better to see him in the last pic looking back at his home as he is dragged away, so that the face isn't visible.

Great to see you posting mocs! I'm looking forward to seeing more chapters in your character's development.

[Yzalirk]

Great scene and story, Behemoth. I will be looking forward for the following chapters

Further, I really like your minifig posing.

Nice build ! It's good to see some builds from you.

Good job with the story-writing and minifig posing! Maybe the boy looks too happy however having just watched his parents die? The ground is a bit sparse but for a MOC with so much else happening it does the job. I agree that the photography is better than what we usually see from new members (great background!) but I think you should try to get the pictures a bit sharper in the future.

Barqa is home to various kinds of sell-swords and irregular troops (like the troops here not dressed in the official city guard outfits) and these are often hired to take care of threats to the trade routs. Like the story here the ends usually justifies the means and the Council of Barqa seldom asks too many questions how a threat has been dealt with as long as the attacks to the vital caravans or shipping stop

So even if this was years ago not too much have changed, Barqa still takes threats to the trade very seriously!

I think this gruesome story fits very well into a fantasy Middle Eastern setting like Kaliphlin.

Cool intro story for your character, Behemoth. The minifig posing is good and the action is cropped nice and tight. I agree that Niro is a bit smiley under the circumstances, perhaps it would be better to see him in the last pic looking back at his home as he is dragged away, so that the face isn't visible.

Great to see you posting mocs! I'm looking forward to seeing more chapters in your character's development.

Thank you guys with all the support!

I will definitely try to get the Part Two up sometime next week. As with the face, I don't have a lot of young looking faces with both a happy and sad expression but I may have one somewhere, I'm not too sure. And should I keep it as them being sell-swords for Barqa?

[Gideon]

What kind of troops they are you can decide yourself. I was just saying that they did not look like soldiers of the City Guard of Barqa, but that there also are various kinds of auxiliary troops employed by the city. In times of war or increased bandit activity the numbers of auxiliary soldiers are often increased by hiring sell-swords, which are rumored to be the most ruthless when fighting bandits and marauders. Quite a few companies of sell-swords are based in Barqa when not fighting somewhere else, as there are many opportunities for a survivor returning to spend the earned and plundered wealths on all kinds of pleasures in the great city.

The events here could therefore easily have involved either soldiers from the standing auxiliary forces or sell-swords if they are soldiers of Barqa.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Gideon

[Scaevola]

Nice build, good shaping of the tent, and I like the minifig combinations. The story was also quite entertaining and intriguing. I'm looking forward to more

Edited August 14, 2014 by Scaevola

[Yzalirk]

What kind of troops they are you can decide yourself. I was just saying that they did not look like soldiers of the City Guard of Barqa, but that there also are various kinds of auxiliary troops employed by the city. In times of war or increased bandit activity the numbers of auxiliary soldiers are often increased by hiring sell-swords, which are rumored to be the most ruthless when fighting bandits and marauders. Quite a few companies of sell-swords are based in Barqa when not fighting somewhere else, as there are many opportunities for a survivor returning to spend the earned and plundered wealths on all kinds of pleasures in the great city.

The events here could easily have involved either soldiers from the standing auxiliary forces or sell-swords.

I didn't realize the soldiers had that type of armor/clothing. I also don't have any of those, so I changed it up that they are sell-swords from Barqa. They are hired by either important people of Barqa or merchants to go out in The Siccus Badlands to kill off any bandits that threaten caravans that traverse through The Siccus Badlands.

Nice build, good shaping of the tent, and I like the minifig combinations. The story was also quite entertaining and intriguing. I'm looking forward to more

Thanks for the support!

There will be more to the story, I assure you.

[Gideon]

They are hired by either important people of Barqa or merchants to go out in The Siccus Badlands to kill off any bandits that threaten caravans that traverse through The Siccus Badlands.

Yea, there are many other than the authorities who also use the services of such men as for example caravan escorts.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Gideon

[Bregir]

Yea, there are many other than the authorities who also use the services of such men as for example caravan escorts.

Just my two cents in this discussion:

1) I think you found a good solution with Gideon regarding the Barqan connection.

2) As most of the cities/locations/people/etc. are "player built" I would suggest caution in using those that are not your own. Not that you can't - just make sure you give it some thought beforehand and possibly agree with the player in a PM first, if it is anything significant.

/Bregir

[Yzalirk]

Just my two cents in this discussion:

1) I think you found a good solution with Gideon regarding the Barqan connection.

2) As most of the cities/locations/people/etc. are "player built" I would suggest caution in using those that are not your own. Not that you can't - just make sure you give it some thought beforehand and possibly agree with the player in a PM first, if it is anything significant.

/Bregir

Yeah, I probably should have done that first. And with my small LEGO collection, I don't think I can recreate Barqa.

But I was mostly just thinking about making a little market scene and an "office" room for when they arrive at Barqa.

[Lord Vladivus]

Nice intro, like the minifigs, although I'm not a fan of the CW face on Captain Wulf.

[Yzalirk]

Nice intro, like the minifigs, although I'm not a fan of the CW face on Captain Wulf.

Thanks. I suppose I could have used another face for him but that one was right in front of me at the time so I just used it.

[SkaForHire]

Barqa is actually one of the main cities, whereas Gideon speaks for it on the high council, many builders have made MOCs there, and it was always one of the "Open" cities in Kaliphlin, along with the capital, Queenscross, and Qarkyr (it has been a long time, someone fact check me on that).

Masa, then Gideon took control of Barqa, as most builders that started there have vanished, as the most important trade center on the coast (sounds bitter coming out of the Lord of Eastgate, its trading rival) it was important that we have someone there keeping the city alive.

I have built up parts of Queenscross for the battle there, but it is still open for an official high lord to take control of. For the life of me I cannot remember who is based in Qarkyr.(Kai is the lord of Qarkyr) And technically, Dextrus Flagg is based in based in Petraea, but no one has seen him in a long time (hint hint upcoming conflict...)

Edited August 14, 2014 by SkaForHire

[Mike S]

Nice intro, like the minifigs, although I'm not a fan of the CW face on Captain Wulf.

He had to put it on that fig because his name is Captain Wulf... get it? Captain Wulf aka CW!

Sorry just had to say that....

[Gideon]

Barqa is actually one of the main cities, whereas Gideon speaks for it on the high council, many builders have made MOCs there, and it was always one of the "Open" cities in Kaliphlin [...]

Exactly! It's perfectly fine to create characters based in or build in Barqa and the other major cities. As representative for Barqa i'm mostly trying to make the lore regarding the city as coherent as possible (like what I did here)

Of course I appreciate if someone who is going to build there asks me for advice regarding new content so we can avoid contradictions, but there is no "pre-approval" needed.

For other cities (like Mpya Stedor) entirely built by a player it is best to PM that player first, in the same way as if you want to feature someone's sigfig in a build

Edited August 14, 2014 by Gideon

[Bregir]

Exactly! It's perfectly fine to create characters based in or build in Barqa and the other major cities. As representative for Barqa i'm mostly trying to make the lore regarding the city as coherent as possible (like what I did here)

Of course I appreciate if someone who is going to build there asks me for advice regarding new content so we can avoid contradictions, but there is no "pre-approval" needed.

For other cities (like Mpya Stedor) entirely built by a player it is best to PM that player first, in the same way as if you want to feature someone's sigfig in a build

What I meant

[Hammerhand]

Nice to see the beginning of your story line!

[mccoyed]

Great posing here. With such a small, intimate build, posing becomes all-important.

[Gunman]

Great Story Behemoth.. Damn murderers!

[soccerkid6]

Nice little tent, I like the inclusion of the ant and gold platter Good to see a build from you