Tanma

IC: After the soldier leaves De'kra clicks, "I got reading on his stats. He has 250 health and he is not wounded at all, despite battle. I suppose he could just be lucky to avoid attacks though. It looks like he also summon another Dastan soldier if he lucky, might group care to know."

Elsewhere in Dastan, De'kra gets the sense that he should stay close to Cronk's powerful shield.

That is something entirely different. Don't forget that the Shadeaux and Hinckwells rule Eubric. It doesn't matter how many crimes they commit, they are too powerful to be taken down. In an idealistic world we could touch them, but not in Eubric. Not to mention that we have yet to see either house directly commit a crime, everything is in the shadows, and even in Quest 4 all the blood was on the heroes' hands. There is no evidence to blacklist them, even if we could ignore houses of their power. You can also justify a Shadeaux/Hinckwell Quest by saying that occasionally they do help people, and often their quests are just investigating something. But from what we know for a fact about the Wolfgang is that they are often thieves, and that they recently attacked a Town Watch Base. The Wolfgang are known to have killed guards, and are actively wanted criminals. If Heroica helps the Wolfgang, we will be seen as criminals by the populous and the Town Guard, and what approval we have will be lost.

...Because the Wolfgang are active criminals wanted by the Town Guard?

Great, now I am trapped on TvTropes, again. Well at least it led me to a new text-based MSTing called the Eye of Argon. Grignr? I don't think the Wolfgang could ever host a quest because the veterans won't allow it, but they could pose as other factions in quest ads.

Power yes, but the other too are Wisdom and Courage. Yeah humanity has this weird obsession with the number three. Past, present, and future; unity, duty, and destiny; Fellowship, Towers, and Return; oh so many examples in religion, superego, ego, and id; and so on.

IC: De'kra stays silent, though he activates his cloak to check the stranger's stats.

IC: De'kra nodded, and donned the cloak of the elven spy. Cautiously the echo asked, "If this trap, why are they let team take weapons to arm team? Even if weapons are less powerful than what team has, why risk it? Could weapons be trap, like by cover in poison or something?" At the moment the echo hasn't taken any weaponry, though he had eyed the tuiny barrel of long spears.

IC: De'kra nodded in response, regretfully having nothing really to add.

I don't think it would, I just was curious.

Just curious, would characters who play Drows just be classified as elves? As far as I know they are just a ethnicity of elf with a different culture, and we don't seperate Nur and Haldor for instance. In game the response might be different, but I am just curious. You could go the implied Gerudo route, or perhaps base their reproduction off that real life species of reptile with only females.

In the words of so many fandoms, "Ruined Forever!" ...Well not really, but it is kind of odd seeing Alexis with that hair. As others have voiced the color and lack of braids are...difficult to associate with Alexis. It's kind of like the uncanny valley really.

Replace contacts with constructs, but pretty much yes. I find that it is also easier to translate when spoken out loud. Can you clarify what you mean by "seems just like someone is speaking English, only with a horrible accent?" because that sounds like what I intended, so I don't see how that is a downside. After all this is a form of English/Hylian spoken by dragon-like entities, it would sound different even without the cultural isolation of 200+ years. So can you explain it details how this is a flaw? Here is the key by the way. Hopefully I followed it, as that has been an issue in the past.

IC: De'kra nodded vaguely at the soldier, still confused about that term "wife." It sounded close to the Eubric word for life, perhaps it was a synonym for the Eubric concept of soul. Like Ka, Iden, and Mata, all mean spirit. Of course Mata tends to be reserved for more impressive uses, and Iden refers solely for the Kanohi, so there might be a similar division of soul and wife. And the worker did seem out of it, like he was missing something vital... ...but unless humans had really glitchy bodies, it seems unlikely that they could just lose such a seemingly vital part. Not to mention that the general reaction was more of pity rather than horror, and it seemed likely that if someone was missing a vital part of their body, Ulanders would react in horror. And the last time De'kra based his findings off poor descriptions, he believed there was a terrible disease ravaging the Hall. Which reminded De'kra that he needed to talk to Tomas to get the whole story, as Dak's words were like a Water Toa Hordika trying to put out a fire: a chaotic explosive force that destroys and engulfs everything despite potentially good intent. De'kra perked out of his mental discussion just in time to hear Nerwen's speech. There were undertones of all three virtues in the healer's words, a refreshing change from much of Eubric. And despite De'kra's cultural differences, from what he could tell Nerwen seemed to believe those words. And from what he knew of Cronk and the others, the echo could only conclude that this team were superior to Quest 20's coalition in every way, and would be better than Quest 4's group if not for Tomas and Cinna. Despite his emotionless face, De'kra felt a bit more at ease, and his body movements showed it.

Anyone here watching Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes? (not to be confused with the movie, which has its own topic) I have been watching it since the mini series first aired, and I have to say I enjoy it greatly. Of course I have barely any contact with Marvel anything (aside from animated adaptations like its sister show Wolverine and the X-Men and Iron Man: Armored Adventures, along with visits to the Marvel Wiki) so that might affect my reaction to it.

TrumpetKing67; I am not an expert at reviewing other works, but I will see what I can do in terms of feedback. ...Now again, I am not an expert and this might just be personal taste, but I feel like it moves too fast. This could totally be just me, as I am a huge fan of long detailed epics, but it seems too fast paced. In the first shown paragraph the protangonist boards a plane, and four paragraphs later the plane crashes. It feels too sudden, not enough time to ease a reader into the story before shocking them with a disaster. It kind of sounds more like a dream, as dreams bounce around regardless of time and sequence, but even then it seems to abrupt to trick a reader into fearing for the character. There also are not many details on the setting. What is the color of the plane, what class is the character seating in? Details like the latter could be very important, for instance if they were in first class it would show that despite their lack of parents they are pretty wealthy. The reader might wonder if the protagonist was born into wealth or gained it on their own, and if they were born into money why weren't they adopted for the money? Little details like that can make a reader think. Not to mention background details can enlarge the time between the start of this story and the crash, and slow it to a more reasonable speed, at least to my sense of time. Some of the details that are given also seem too abrupt. We don't need to know they are an orphan or their backstory in the first paragraph, it seems too soon. Perhaps instead the protangonist could just start to tremble as they near the plane, before descended into a mantra like "I am safe. I am safe. I am safe..." This could show the reader that they are scared of planes, but leave them wondering why. Is it something that happened to the protangonist? If so, what happened? If done well it could hook a reader, and make them want to know more about the character. I am sorry if this sounds harsh at all, and I worry I might seem a bit blunt. Just remember that writing takes years to polish off and perfect, and it never stops improving as long as one keeps trying. So just keep working at it. Hopefully this is helpful. ------- Now on the matter of my Legend of Zelda story, I would like some feedback from the people of Eurobricks on a certain aspect of the tale. Because the story takes place in two countries seperated by a huge ocean, one country has developed a dialect. I have already come up with rules for this dialect, but I want to make sure it is understandable, and for any linguists out there, if it makes sense. Included below is a sample of the dialect in question, taken from the fifth chapter of the first part. As a disclaimer I made the dialect randomly, so if it sounds like a real life dialect of English, it is totally unintensional. I apologize if offense is taken though. So is the dialect understandable? I tried to use actual rules of grammer to construct it, and if I need to I can post the key here. But without a key can this dialect be understood?

IC: De'kra nodded vaguely, and clicked, "Best to hurry, team not know if there time limit on medicine." De'kra scanned both workers carefullyas he said this, as the meaning of the words alluded him. Bits and pieces he got, but this possession known as a wife was a word De'kra was not familiar with. From the context some clues could be found, but there were not enough hints for him to comprehend.

Fair enough, it is just something to consider.

Cinna was also second in command of Quest 4, but I am not sure if that counts. Although I think that certain heroes are natural leaders and definitely deserve their posts, I think it might be a good idea to thrust less worthy heroes into leadership roles, at least for role-play reasons. It would be interesting to see a novice leader try to deal with the reins of command, and to see them struggling with the knowledge that the mission and their comrade's lives are in their hands. Some new heroes might rise and gather respect upon their fellows, while other new leaders might fail and live with the guilt that they lead their fellows to defeat.

Bystander here, would "Jinxed" work? It has a better ring to it than "Unlucky," but does sound as severe as "Curse."

IC: De'kra took a step back at Nerwen's demanding tone. It was a bit more...active...than De'kra would have liked, although the workers should have been awake. In truth it was kind of sick to see them laying around like that, and neglecting their duty. Especially if that worker was having some crazy-juice, like some of the heroes at the hall. But the tone was still a surprise to him.

yeah, that was just a nod to the Child Timeline and the ending of Ocarina of Time. Although everything in that prologue is supposed to be involved with my story's plot, so it will have other significance. The next part is just a comment comparing the Adult timeline and the child timeline, and since it is off topic I will spoiler it. More on topic, I am written the story as a whole in a mixture of a novel and almost a video game playthrough. For instance I have characters "reminding" Link how to roll, sidestep, and swing his sword at foes, like how he is "reminded" at the start of many games. But at the same time some features are different, like dungeon keys can be reused and I don't give a complete blow by blow of Link moving through a dungeon. I also have decided to make this Link a mute, to explain why he stays silent. Any other ideas on how to mesh the mediums?

[stage direction] adjusts glasses[/stage direction] Actually the Legend of Zelda series doesn't run in a linear path. Chronologically all games come after Skyward Sword->Minish Cap->Four Sword->Ocarina of Time, but after that the games splinter into three timelines. The "Child Timeline" starts when the Hero of Time travels to the past one last time (excluding MM) and warns Hyrule of the past about Ganondorf. This the timeline where Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, and Four Sword Adventure occur. In this timeline Hyrule still stands strong. The "Dark timeline" was only recently revealed, and is my least favorite of the three observed histories. In this scenario where the Hero of Time fell to Ganondorf, Hyrule was crushed. Eventually a Link to the Past occurred, and the new Hero defeated the evil. In this timeline the Zora are hostile and quite different in form, and it is made of the older games. Finally is the "Adult Timeline," my personal favorite of the timelines. This is the world where the Hero of Time was frozen for seven years, and Ganondorf took over Hyrule. After the Hero of Time saved Hyrule and traveled to the "Child Timeline," peace returned to Hyrule. However one day Ganondorf returned. The people prayed for the Hero of Time to return, but he could not, as he was lost to an alternate past. In desperation they prayed to the creators the Golden Goddesses, who are fond of overkill. The Golden Goddesses flooded the land of Hyrule, and the survivors fled to the mountaintops. Eventually this became the Great Sea of Windwaker, and the mountain peaks became the islands. After Windwaker the Hero of Winds went to discover a new land to make a new Zhyrule, which led to Phantom Hourglass. Eventually he and Tetra discovered this new land, and named it New Hyrule. This became the setting of Spirit Tracks, which takes place a century after Windwaker. Because these timelines don't interact, the writer of the prologue doesn't know of TP, or at the least he/she/xe doesn't know the details of the Child/Dark timelines. Hopefully this makes sense.

Well I am still working on my story inspired by the Legend of Zelda, though I still have a long way to go. I only have the "tutorial" part finished, and since that took 23 pages (not counting the cast page and guide to dialects) I have a long way to go. Still I felt like sharing part of it, specifically the introduction. This is only a short bit, and it mainly serves to catch a reader up to speed and hint at what is to come. Like pretty much every prologue really. So any thoughts on this prologue?

IC: De'kra nodded, as he too was ready to go to the docks. Despite its potential irrelevant nature of the Rito to this mission, De'kra's mind still drifted to the mountain people. The echo first and foremost hoped he won't have to fight any of the bird-people, as he had a fondness for birds, perhaps more than wolves. Oh wolves were great loyal fighters, but he had a history with birds, and crabs for that matter. Even if it was a humanoid bird, it would be hard to wrap his head around fighting it.