Jump to content


P.T.V contest entry: Medium


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic  – Started by Talon Karrde , Oct 28 2008 10:16 PM

#1 Talon Karrde

Talon Karrde

    Posts: 87
    Joined: 08-October 08
    Member: 4094
    Country: Albion

Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:16 PM

Posted Image Vig. 29b
Culver was a small port town in the Caribbean, and like most port towns feared one thing above all. The threat of piracy loomed over the Caribbean sea, like a hawk circling a field mouse, numerous counter-offensives had been made by the imperial fleet but almost all of them had ended in failure, and vengeance by the pirate hordes. Culver had been relatively safe from pirate attack, a naturally formed defensive ring of near impregnable granite crowned by a sturdy wall made repelling would be invaders easy. The town had been founded over one hundred years ago by Daniel Culver, who was forced to stop on an island when his small merchant vessel, The "Ocean Mare" lost her mast in a ferocious storm. When he made land he was welcomed by the native tribe, who greeted him with honour as the first white man to land there and helped him repair his ship, overwhelmed by their immense kindness he made it his aim to convert them to Christianity and make their lives and their island a more civilised place by founding the town of Culver. Unfortunately, the natives would not convert to Christianity, they told Mr Culver that their Gods had been kind to them, and they had no reason to abandon them. When they told him this he saw it as blasphemy, and all the kindnesses in the world could not stay his rage, he and forty score imperial guards slaughtered the peaceful natives mercilessly one bloody night and from that day on Daniel Culver was hailed as a christian hero, a vanquisher of heathens. The small island turned out to be a prosperous place for the new citizens of Culver, the fishing in the bay was good and the island was found to have an abundance of valuable granite, ripe for quarrying, as well as a small gold seam. In the years to come Culver prospered, and with a small imperial garrison was effectively safe from pirate raids.

Posted Image

But one night, a pirate more daring, more conniving and eviller than any before him entered Culver bay... Aboard his mighty ship were his crew, two hundred and fifty bloodthirsty pirates, hardened by years at sea and fierce battles with the imperial navy. Captain Edward Mercy had his eyes on Culver. The governor of the island, one Nathaniel Culver, a direct descendant of Daniel the Evangelist, acted quickly when the pirate ship was spotted lurking in the bay, he sent for all the men who could bear arms to man the defensive outer walls, leaving the women and children in the care of a skeleton watch of imperial soldiers and the few men who could not bear arms, this turned out to be the doom of the town. Merciless Mercy anticipated the Guv's strategy and devised a way to bypass it completely.

Posted Image

So he left a skeleton crew of thirty men aboard his ship, the "Thanatoid Thespian" formerly the HMS "Mary Jane" so that the ruthless cannons could bombard the entire town to smithereens while he made his move, another twenty men went manned half the longboats, along with nearly a full crew of dummies, this fooled the town defenders into thinking that the pirates were about to attempt a hopeless rush upon the main fortifications, which would inevitably end in failure. But Mercy had a plan, he and the other two hundred men, in ten groups of twenty, managed to sneak through the complex network of caves, mines and sewers that links the bay and the town. When they emerged in the centre of Culver, a town ripe with riches and devoid of almost any capable resistance greeted them.

Posted Image

There was no time to alert anyone, the small group of imperial soldiers rushed out, weaponless in their complacency, to be met by a savage volley of musket fire and vicious steel blades. They rushed through the town, entering houses at liberty, slaughtering the occupants and grabbing all the booty
they could. The governor himself, Nathaniel Culver, crouched in a barrel in terror and clutched ever tighter the key to the city vaults. The Captain of the small group of imperial soldiers was no-where to be seen, faced with the sight of two hundred bloodthirsty pirates and without any coordination his troops were panicked and ran, or were slaughtered like dogs. Charles Abigale was that captain, and he viewed the massacre from the construction site at the top of the Clement household, he saw the carnage through the eyes of a drunkard and was apathetic towards the entire scene.

Posted Image

Mrs Joanne Clement lived in a house of black timber framing, with white plaster and it was a symbol of her husbands profession, a stonemason, that the house had two statues framing the doorway. But her husband was at the wall, and the pirates were here. Before she could get away one grabbed her, he wasn't looking for treasure. His fetid breath made her skin crawl and she tried to block the moment out but his relentlessly groping hands prevented her from escaping, she was trapped.

Posted Image

The house across the street belonged to Arthur Edfield and his family but he too was summoned to the wall and his wife and young son left to fend for themselves. A pirate entered the house, his breath was ragged with the exhilaration born of crime and in the shadows Mrs Edfield clutched a frying pan in her hands, raised it ready to fight back. She had let the first pirate enter without noticing her out of pure fear, but her young son was out there and as a mother she would face anything to protect him, she gripped the pan tightly and stepped out of the shadows as the pirate looked round in anticipation.

Posted Image

Little Tommy Edfield was too young to understand, but instinct had told him to hide when he heard the pirates coming and now he heard a thump that heralded the arrival of a new source of fear. Edward Mercy dragged his cumbersome wooden leg towards the stack of barrels and inhaled deeply, the smell of blood was on the air and he was hunting for a new victim. He rested his pistol upon the barrel and patiently waited for his prey to break cover...



Thank you for viewing my MOC and hopefully for reading the story, i hope that both were pleasurable experiences for you. And have a gander at the Flickr set for more pictures!

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:33 PM.

We're gonna need a lot of mescaline for this...

Flickr

My Blog

#2 Buttons

Buttons

    Posts: 554
    Joined: 09-October 08
    Member: 4104
    Country: England

Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:24 PM

All I can is say Wow!
Great job :pir-classic:
Now that you've found it, it's gone
Now that you feel it, you don't
You've gone off the rails

#3 Zorro

Zorro
  • Farewell Dieter!


    Posts: 5757
    Joined: 17-September 08
    Member: 3951
    Country: Belgium

Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:25 PM

Pics should be resized to be eligible. And perhaps a few space between your history lines?
Looks like a great MOC though, will comment more on it later since my smallband takes too long to load those heavy images (I was put on smallband today because of cellar works)

Edited by zorro3999, 28 October 2008 - 10:26 PM.


#4 Erdbeereis

Erdbeereis
  • Not short in real life


    Posts: 6881
    Joined: 31-January 08
    Member: 2630
    Country: U.S.A.

Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:43 PM

You've done an excellent job with your entry Talon Karrde!
The story is very entertaining and the MOC itself is wonderful. Your buildings look great and there's lots of action going on. I also love the torches you've made, and the soldier hiding in the barrel is really good!

Improvements you could make are:

1) The most important thing to fix at this point is to resize your pictures, so your entry doesn't get disqualified.
A good free photo-editing program is paint.net .

2) I think putting a bit more blood around the fallen soldier would be good. The blood integrated with the pathway looks great, but I think adding some more around it would be even better.

You did a fantastic job with your entry and I think if you resize your pictures, you stand a very good chance at a prize!

New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here

Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide | Tutorials


#5 Talon Karrde

Talon Karrde

    Posts: 87
    Joined: 08-October 08
    Member: 4094
    Country: Albion

Posted 28 October 2008 - 11:11 PM

resized pictures should be up tomorrow (for judges benefit) so please don't disqualify me yet, i simply forgot. Thanks guys, i was pleased with this myself!
We're gonna need a lot of mescaline for this...

Flickr

My Blog

#6 Lt. Col. Thok

Lt. Col. Thok
  • Captain Blue Hair is the best!


    Posts: 2514
    Joined: 05-January 07
    Member: 1188
    Country: Canada

Posted 28 October 2008 - 11:12 PM

Nice entry and back story to boot!  Well done. :thumbup:
Quick! Defend your breakfast choice!CLICK
Posted Image
My "Pirates in the Snow" Series: Part One~Part Two~Part Three
Follow my new LDD Castle series: Church~Butcher Shop~Soldier's Pub~Blockhouse
Is it just a coincidence that Grand Theft Auto and the Greater Toronto Area use the same initials? :-p
My Brickshelf Posted Image<---Thanks Joey!

#7 Erdbeereis

Erdbeereis
  • Not short in real life


    Posts: 6881
    Joined: 31-January 08
    Member: 2630
    Country: U.S.A.

Posted 28 October 2008 - 11:20 PM

Good to hear you'll resize them.
I wouldn't want this great entry to go to waste!

New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here

Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide | Tutorials


#8 JimBee

JimBee
  • Bubbler


    Posts: 9707
    Joined: 07-January 08
    Member: 2436
    Country: USA

Posted 29 October 2008 - 02:36 AM

Wonderful entry, Talon Karrde!

What I like: The action is well-displayed for the most part, and lots of cool things in the action, like the woman with the frying pan and the creepy pirate harassing the maiden (not "cool" in real life). The buildings are also very good. I basically like everything about this MOC, except...

What could be improved:
The action in the street is a little confusing, I suggest spreading the fighters out a bit more. But this is a small nitpick.

I also really like your writing style, good job on that. And good luck! :pir-classic:

Posted ImagePosted Image
Currently playing Hybros, 53-year-old male imp Chi Monk in the Heroica RPG

Currently playing Jerry Bergeron in Red Menace Mafia
Stats | Bio


#9 Guss

Guss
  • One armed pirate


    Posts: 2649
    Joined: 05-September 08
    Member: 3895
    Country: Switzerland

Posted 29 October 2008 - 09:30 AM

that's a nice entry ! I really like this little , there is a lot of action! the description you put with the pics are really nice, you sure speak English better than me ^^ that's a really cool entry and I wish you good luck for the contest!
Posted Image

#10 Talon Karrde

Talon Karrde

    Posts: 87
    Joined: 08-October 08
    Member: 4094
    Country: Albion

Posted 29 October 2008 - 11:36 AM

View PostJimButcher, on Oct 29 2008, 02:36 AM, said:

What could be improved:[/b] The action in the street is a little confusing, I suggest spreading the fighters out a bit more. But this is a small nitpick.

Thanks Jim, but about the action, i felt that a pirate raid, with bloodthirsty pirates rushing down narrow streets burning and looting all in their path, would be somewhat frantic, that's the look i was going for  :pir-classic: And this being a medium entry, once you count out houses and barrels, their was only an eight by sixteen studs of street left  :pir_laugh2: but thanks for your comments, i am glad you enjoyed the story.

@ Guss: Well i am from Albion, so one would hope so  :pir-tongue: and i bet you speak english better than i speak your language...

Edited by Talon Karrde, 29 October 2008 - 11:37 AM.

We're gonna need a lot of mescaline for this...

Flickr

My Blog

#11 Guss

Guss
  • One armed pirate


    Posts: 2649
    Joined: 05-September 08
    Member: 3895
    Country: Switzerland

Posted 29 October 2008 - 11:43 AM

Talon Karrde, I'm french^^

I just noticed.. is that legs on the top right and left of the lions head ? on the wall ? that's smart!
Posted Image

#12 Talon Karrde

Talon Karrde

    Posts: 87
    Joined: 08-October 08
    Member: 4094
    Country: Albion

Posted 29 October 2008 - 12:19 PM

View PostGuss, on Oct 29 2008, 11:43 AM, said:

Talon Karrde, I'm french^^

I just noticed.. is that legs on the top right and left of the lions head ? on the wall ? that's smart!

Oh well i speak "un peu" then, and yeah, same on the Clement house as well.
We're gonna need a lot of mescaline for this...

Flickr

My Blog

#13 Razzer

Razzer

    Posts: 201
    Joined: 10-October 08
    Member: 4116
    Country: U.K.

Posted 29 October 2008 - 12:59 PM

Oh Dang it! The idea behind this is what I was going to base my small entry on!

As for your entry, it's packed full of details and you've carried it off better than I would have anyway. Interesting facts packed into the story as well, it must have taken you ages to type/think up all of that.

Good Luck with the contest!
I need a better camera, to photograph Lego, but I need to buy more Lego so I have something good to photograph, darn I can't win...

#14 oDDerFisken

oDDerFisken

    Posts: 291
    Joined: 21-October 06
    Member: 1042
    Country: Denmark

Posted 29 October 2008 - 02:20 PM

Very nice entry.
First of all: youve manage to fit a lot of action in a very small place. Lots of stuff happening in a relativly small MOC. I'm impressed that you've done this in the medium MOC.

Your choose of minifigs are good, and you have made som pretty nice custom made ones.

There's a lot of killings but I'd like some more of them. You could throw someone out of the window, that would make add some good action on the high sidewalls in my opinion.

Good luck with the contest.

#15 RichardAM

RichardAM

    Posts: 89
    Joined: 20-September 08
    Member: 3971

Posted 29 October 2008 - 05:38 PM

This is great- 16x16 is such a small footprint that you've really got to work if you want to fit a lot in, and you've done this well- focussing on height is a very clever idea.

Great minifig placement too- this is an awesome entry.

#16 Matteo Kenobi

Matteo Kenobi
  • Thanks for proven services


    Posts: 537
    Joined: 08-August 08
    Member: 3689
    Country: United States

Posted 29 October 2008 - 06:41 PM

Wow looks great! Love it!! You really have made the most of the space here, it looks great, well done!

Posted Image

Posted Image


#17 Legoking

Legoking
  • Classic-Pirates' cabin boy


    Posts: 1026
    Joined: 28-May 08
    Member: 3200
    Country: United States

Posted 30 October 2008 - 01:18 AM

Opinion
You have a very smooth story plot with nice touches. Your MOC is very big and detailed for such a small contest entry. The buildings are very nice. The roofing for the tan and brown building are very well put together. I liked how you put little gray tiles on top of the roof to make it even nicer. The whole pirate battling the Imperial Armada is always a good theme for a MOC. I like the big battle happening in the center of the town. The torches and face expressions are very well executed. In the third picture, I can see you used 4 brown minifig legs as detail. I like how you use your bricks! In the buildings, I like how you can see into them and take a look as to what is happening in there. On the white and black building, I like how you used gray minifigs as statues and black minifig legs for detail.

Possible Improvements

1) In the third picture, you have a guard lying down. I would put some blood on him so it looks like he is bleeding.

Overall- This is a great medium PTV MOC. I can see you have put a lot of time and effort into your MOC. I really like how you interpreted the PTV contest into your MOC. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

My PTV Entry- Medium
Small PTV Entry coming soon!
My MOC page
My Brickshelf
My Brickset   
My Current Trades

Credit of my wonderful drawn avatar goes to Hound Knight. Posted Image
I am the Lego King of the World!

Support the Pirates forum, buy your LEGO here!





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Sponsored Links