pombe

All my monies to Bob!

Captured?!?! Damnit!!! And the worst part is that I'm stuck in this jail cell with you! Oh, it's not so bad. Come...it's cold, let's conserve body heat. If you approach me, I will kick you so hard in the groin that the pain will travel back in time and you will suddenly remember new excruciating pain that you experienced as a child. If you're cold, conserve heat with Alois! THERMODYNAMICS!!! Quiet, you three! I need to ask the other captives a question. So, if anyone is out there listening, how do these Mardier people dress? I'd like to know how Mardier minifigures should appear before we MOC our situation.

Why thank you, young man! We are from something called Sick Bricks...or something like that...we aren't really sure exactly. Yes, we were a chance discovery in the clearance section at Target for $1.18. If we weren't discovered by accident, then the story would have been written such that Normal Guy would have come back as a ghost to haunt Eshey during her assignments.

First, I want to make it clear that I understand that this is a sensitive issue and that I am not making light of it. I went back and reread the post, and the word "rape" was used in general passing to set up the atmosphere, and was not actually portrayed nor was it used in a way that would point to specific characters. It created a dark and serious backdrop for the build. If there is a line, I think the post went right up to it, but did not cross it. Goatman's stories have always leaned towards realism, with all his sigfigs being fleshies with shaven hair, for instance. Even his most ridiculous entry, the one about the space whale poop asteroid station was built in a way that took into account zero gravity. How many AG builders actually take into account how real spaceships would be laid out? Hannibal, himself, has always been written as a serious character even in the best of situations, and has now become a more brooding character who has gone on some soul searching due to recent events that may have dredged up past memories for him. I'm not saying that those of us who think the line is elsewhere and has been crossed by the post are wrong. I'm just giving my opinion on this. And just as well, since I think this discussion is worth having. I think there is room in AG for some of the darker stories. Some of us here want something deeper and more psychological and less "oh, there's the idiot naked guy again who found the animal tree and made a pirate ship that sailed on lava!". Some of the very best science fiction comes from a dark place. Afterall, science fiction is nothing but stories about the collision of technology with the human condition, no? In any case, I'm interested in seeing the rest of Hannibal's story.

Ch1A - Fantasy Island | pombe | Sea Rats Ch1B - Ancient Wonder | pombe | Sea Rats

Dramatis Personae: Somewhere in the ocean... LAND HO!!! Ho? Aw yeah. Shut up! Just shut up! Alois is correct, there is a small island visible in the distance. There also appear to be some sort of primitive dwellings. You three, take the ship's boat and investigate. This may be our chance at discovering a new culture. Wait, the ship's boat is different. Yes, Bregir suggested that the previous ship's boat looked too modern in appearance and I agreed with him (http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=120267). So I decided that instead of the brickbuilt one that we presented before, we would just use the prebuilt one. How can something look "too modern"? Isn't modern now? He meant that it looked too much like ships from the future which have not been designed, yet. Then shouldn't he have said that it looked "too futuristic"? Oh, quit arguing semantics and get going already! LINGUISTICS!!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Later, on the island... Welcome to our island home! I'm Amy! And this is my sister Jessica! Why, hello there! Well, hello there yourself! I'm "Motorboat", and you don't need to know these other two people. In fact, I'm all your sister and you will need from now on! Wait. Your names are Amy and Jessica? Aren't you supposed to be primitive natives? And where did you learn our language? We prefer to be called indigenous peoples. And we have adopted names given to us by earlier explorers, because my name in my native tongue, ttcpkkjkvgmkmbzbqgtfrzsdgt, seemed to be too difficult for the explorers to pronounce. That's where we also learned your language. Igneous people? Well, I'm certainly as hard as an igneous right now! GEOLOGY!!! That's "indigenous" you scrotum-skull! Where's everyone else? Oh, it's just me, my sister, and about 30 other young women living here on this island, where all we do is undress, bathe in the nearby lake, play while naked in the lake, get dressed, and then undress, and bathe again. Lucy, I have never asked anything of you before. But now...I'm begging you, leave me here. Please, take Alois and get back in the boat and return to the professor and tell her that I fell overboard and drowned. And tell her that there was nothing of note on this island. What about Rebecca? Who? YOUR FIANCEE! Oh, yeah, her...yeah, tell her the same thing. I fell overboard and drowned. No...something's not right here. Amy, Jessica, where did your men go? Oh, um...our tribe suffers from this Y-linked disease where the men die just shortly after reproductive age. So it's just us women on the island! In fact, your man "Motorboat" here could help the 30 poor and very lonely indigenous young women here, including me and my sister, repopulate the island with men, since he doesn't have the Y-linked disease. GENETICS!!! PLEASE, LUCY, LEAVE ME HERE!!! Genetics hasn't even been discovered, yet! Alright, we're leaving! ALL OF US, INCLUDING YOU, PEACOCK! As much as I'd like to abandon you here and never see you again, my conscience would gnaw at me worse than you ever will. Alois, drag him back to the boat! BIOMECHANICS!!! No, wait! Yes, wait! Alois, take us out of here! NOOOOOO!!! Damnit! +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Crap! They're leaving! I guess that means no dinner tonight? I don't get it! That genetics line always works! Maybe Amy screwed up the lines! We should make sure Jessica says them next time! Great. What are we supposed to eat now? I don't know. Do you really need your non-clubbing arm? +++++++++++++++++++++++++ All comments and criticisms welcome!!!

Double Penetrator formation?! ED-208, get over here! I need to test something!

Location: E02 - Jurin II Tags: Spaceship, Land Vehicle Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=120249 Currently, in orbit above Jurin II… <Amazing Grace played on bagpipes> <sob> You weren’t just one of us, you were the best of us! <sob> WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME, NORMAL GUY!?!?! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE SAVED YOURSELF INSTEAD OF ESHEY!?!?! <sob> All you ever wanted was a Honey! <sob> And Eshey wouldn’t even be that for you!!! <sob> You're giving up Mr. Poon Poon, Hombre? <sob> He was your favorite. Thanks, Hombre, Normal Guy would have liked that. <sob> Yes, he was a knockoff. We all knew he was a knockoff. <sob> But he was our knockoff! HE WAS MY KNOCKOFF!!! <sob> YOU COULD HAVE BEEN CEO ONE DAY!!! <sob> THE GALAXY WILL NEVER KNOW ANOTHER STAR AS BRIGHT AS YOU!!! Everyone, please lend me your voices, as we sing Normal Guy’s favorite song…the one he would always sing when he thought of his Honey. <sob> Bagpipes, please. Close your eyes, make a wish And blow out the candlelight For tonight is just your night We're gonna celebrate, All through the night Pour the wine, light the fire Girl your wish is my command I submit to your demands I will do anything, Girl you need only ask I'll make love to you Like you want me to And I'll hold you tight Baby all through the night I'll make love to you When you want me to And I will not let go Till you tell me to +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Meanwhile, on Mynderis… Sorry to interrupt your vacation, sir. No worries, Scooter. What’s so urgent? It’s a message from the chief accountant. What did she want? She said we didn’t finish the job when she asked us to take care of your brother. What? We totally took care of him. Yes. I explained that to her, but she said that he didn’t kick the bucket. She was quite upset. Well then, I guess our job is unfinished. Get everyone together. It’s time we took care of my brother and this time, we’ll make sure he kicks the bucket. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Later, aboard the Shaft… <sob> Normal Guy… <sob> Sir…Normal Guy’s parents have arrived. They say that they have urgent information to tell you. <sob> Okay…let’s meet with them… <sob> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Even later, aboard the Shaft… YOU DID WHAT WITH OUR SON’S BODY?!?! We launched it out into space. It’s space maritime tradition. Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! <sob> It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t have hired Eshey, he wouldn’t have needed to save her! <sob> But that’s just it! If a LEGO knockoff figure dies heroically in the service of official LEGO products, he or she becomes reincarnated as an official LEGO minifigure. You’ve just thrown our son into space by himself! NORMAL GUY!!! I’M COMING TO SAVE YOU!!! How come you can both speak normally and don’t have that klik thing with the unusually capitalized letters? Oh, that was just a verbal tick our son had. It’s not a general thing with us knockoff figures. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ On Jurin II… Mr. Poon Poon? NORMAL GUY!!! Son! Yes…I was once called Normal Guy. But now…I have become Beautiful Man. Homina homina…yes…you are beautiful! And your verbal tick is gone. Look…if Eshey doesn’t want you… No, sorry, Sue. Eshey will always be my Honey. Wait, what? Mother? Father? We’re here, son! And we’re so proud of you! BEAUTIFUL MAN!!! I’M SO SORRY!!! Please, forgive me and come back to us! Sir, there is nothing to forgive. It’s you who has given me opportunities. And now I’m an official LEGO product! May I return to work, sir? Yes, Beautiful Man. Yes. Welcome home. Comments and criticisms are all welcome!!!

It's clear that corporations have gotten a bad reputation amongst the working class, especially large and successful ones, like Octan, which admittedly tend to appear faceless. However, you need to remember one thing: corporations are people, too. Stop and think about that for a second and realize what that really means. It means that corporations are people made up of people, like how Transformers combiners are Transformers that are made up of other, smaller Transformers that have merged together for a single goal. Are Transformers such as Devastator or Bruticus or Predaking not considered badasses? I think they are quite badass. And when they merge together, do you see the five faces of the Combaticons that merged to form Bruticus? No, you only see the face of Bruticus. Bruticus is still far from faceless. As CEO of Octan's Andromeda division, I make it a priority to merge with fellow employees as often as I am able. In fact, I do have parts that can be inserted into other employees, and vice versa, that allow us to combine and become a larger, single, and more powerful employee. And together, we are much more than the sum of our parts, much like Bruticus or Devastator. So join Octan, and merge with us in order to become a true badass. Afterall, who doesn't want to be more like Bruticus?

All my monies to Bob!

Clever design with the removable interior! And the angled shingles add such realism! ARCHITECTURE AND DESIGN!!!

I'd give that jib a good jibbing! I...nevermind...I don't even know how to respond to that....

Such a beautiful ship. I'd totally make love to it. I approve! You can't approve, genitals-for-brains! We're the same faction!

IT'S MADNESS, I TELL YOU!!! MADNESS!!! What? What's Alois going on about? It's a reference to a reference. Just ignore him. It's his lame attempt at a joke.

Hmm...speaking of fabric, I think I need to place another bulk order for bed sheets. I do go through them pretty quickly. I hope that machine can keep up. MECHANICAL ENGINEERING!!!

Screw the Black Marlin, I'm hitting the Sulky Harlequin up the aft! Come here! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Seriously, what in the hell is wrong with you?

Hello there, Brickwolf! Welcome to Octan! Don't mind Eshey. She's just an underperformer. Otherwise, Octan has the best employees in the galaxy!

Here we are finally! Welcome to our new home of Bastion! And who be ye? Ye dun look like a Sea Rat! Look everyone! This must be one of those ruffian scoundrel types I've read about in the brochures! Ah, but where are my manners? I am Ethylene Glycol, professor of science; and these are my students. This here is Lucy Liu, my senior graduate student. Don't mess with her, because she's Asian and knows martial arts. That and she's a bitter sixth year student who doesn't have enough papers to graduate. That wasn't a racist introduction at all. Besides, whose fault is it that none of my projects had interesting results?! And why did we even leave Corrington in the first place, Professor I-Lost-All-My-Funding-And-Had-To-Leave-The-University?! And what the hell is an Asian?! Do you see a place called Asia on this map?! I told you she was bitter. This here is "Motorboat" Peacock. People assume he is nicknamed after a seafaring vessel that has not been invented yet, but in fact, he is nicknamed after a thing he does with his mouth which is named after a seafaring vessel that has not been invented yet. For some reason, he is very popular with the ladies. BbbrrrrrrrrrrrrBbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBBRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! And this is my newest student, Alois Bieber. He was a former Oleon soldier who had attended a seminar of mine to protest science, but instead got enlightened by my lecture and has since become an evangelist for science. FOR GREAT SCIENCE!!! Erm...hi. My name is NPC143. Oh, my poor soul. You are one of those non-player characters. Maybe if you try really hard, you will eventually become significant enough to have a name of your own in this story. <sniff> I just want to be a real boy! Don't we all? Anyways, we are here to establish a new university of higher learning here at Bastion! One unfettered by the idiotic scientific rigors that those Corrington stick-up-their-arses seem to adhere to with all the fanaticism of the Oleon religious zealots. You mean like replicating experiments to ensure that the results are reproducible and statistically significant? Gobbledygook! A single observable event is all that's required! Afterall, if it's not true, then why was it observed in the first place? Or like writing transparent Materials and Methods so that others can follow how one did an experiment and reproduce it if necessary? And give away my precious secrets?! Nonsense! They are lucky enough that I don't write my manuscripts in code, as it is. Um...okay. You there. You look tough, how did you lose your eye? I was in the laboratory one day performing an acid-base titration when my fiance barges in and throws my experiment in my face! She apparently had learned of a tryst I was having with my undergraduate assistant. You could say that she blinded me with science! Ha ha! Science giveth, but science can also taketh.... I'm sorry I asked. Oh, look at the time! We must be off! It's been a pleasure, I hope we'll meet again...er...NPC297. That's NPC143. Sure, whatever. Toodles!

The Wave of Knowledge | pombe | Sea Rats Arrival in Bastion | pombe | Sea Rats

Dramatis Personae: With the Wave of Knowledge, now we can sail from port to port and attend scientific conferences. Meanwhile, we can network and set up collaborations, as well as recruit faculty for the new university of Bastion. I'm guessing you'll register her as our free ship, a class 2 trade vessel? Indeed. She isn't the fastest vessel, but she can definitely carry specimens we discover on our scientific expeditions back to port. Her spacious hold also has enough room for the crew quarters and provisions. By removing the main deck, you can access the hold. Because a crew that sleeps together stays together! If you try to sleep with anyone other than Alois on this boat, I will rip your testicles off and shove them so far up your anus that you'll vomit them back out. ANATOMY!!! She also comes with a ship's boat and a pair of heads at the bow. Yes, my fantasy of defecating into a box in full view of everyone while being violently tossed about by the ocean waves can finally come true. My fantasy of watching you do that can come true, too! I swear I will kill you so hard, you will actually die twice. By the way, is there any reason why all the pictures we've shown are from the port side or bow? That's because the LEGO company got cheap and only prints the sails on one side, which forces fans of LEGOs to only display their builds from specific directions. Here's the ugliness in full view. Do you see this, LEGO? This is ugly! Help us help you by printing the sails on both sides! And that's that. I guess that wraps up this free build post. We're not going to reveal how the hull was assembled? And give away our secrets so others can copy our work? It's called "open source", get over it! Here's the bottom of the hull.... Wait! Stop! Too late! What have you done, Lucy!!! Oh, shut up! Comments and criticisms are all welcome!

Location: H03 - Kaalin Tags: Exploration, Spaceship, Land Vehicle Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=119954 Currently, on Kaalin.... I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE WERE NO ALIENS ON KAALIN!!! AND WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING ANY CLOTHES?!?! That's based on the information from the galaxy map! And I had to set an example for the employees (http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=120172)! Sue, where's our air support?! Ten seconds out, sir! We just entered the atmosphere! Ishmael, Bruce, on me! With you, sir! Go on without me! I'm experiencing technical difficulties! I can't get her engines to engage! YOU DROPPED IN A CAR?!?! Eshey, for the last time, it's a gunship! Copy that, Bruce. Sir, we're five seconds out! HURRY!!! Bqllr! KlIK! HoNEy!!! CRUNCH!!! ~hUrK...klIk.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Firing!!! BQLLR!!! Additional pics under the spoiler tag. Comments and criticisms are all welcome!

TO ALL PROSPECTIVE OCTAN EMPLOYEES AND CURRENT OCTAN EMPLOYEES TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE: This is the CEO of Octan's Andromeda group, Pombe. Octan has achieved much here in the Andromeda Galaxy since the discovery of the GATES. Because of the hard work of our employees, Octan has the largest market share of any corporation in this galaxy. We have much to be proud of. Of the 54 planets or asteroid clusters known so far in Andromeda, Octan currently controls 25 of them, or over 46%. Additionally, we have researched new developments in the areas of spaceship mastery, ground tactics, and resource prospecting. This is a very exciting time to be a part of Octan here in Andromeda. And as I speak, the combined Octan and Merchant Confederate fleet plies the spaceways creating new opportunities for increasing our market share and profits. However, our continued success depends on you and your willingness to join us to build a better tomorrow for all Octan employees, our shareholders, and, of course, Lord Business. Any contribution is worthwhile, and we especially welcome your thoughts and voice in our own secure Octan channel. From the simplest minifig on a plate entry to an internet blog worthy MOC that scores a 7 from the judges, no build is too small to count. Afterall, I understand that our duties sometimes prohibit us giving our maximum, but your participation, no matter how small, adds up over time. I am an example of this; I am not the best builder in this galaxy or even in Octan, but my steady contributions over time have slowly pushed me to the top of this corporation. Those with small collections need not worry, as I will now demonstrate. Note that terrain builders have a tremendous opportunity here to create beautiful alien landscapes and environments. Currently, this build of me exploring the icy plains of Freegate will earn 1 point. Same of this build of me exploring the deserts of New California. And this build of me exploring the oceans of Wastyria. While 1 point might seem insignificant, 1 point per entry over the course of 30 weeks, would be...um...let's see...30 points! That's enough to dominate a planet by myself! And I want to point out that Andromeda's Gates has just completed over 30 weeks. Just think about that. If you had started from the very beginning and entered the builds shown here every week, you would have dominated a planet by yourself. Wow! Now, if I were to add this Octan spaceship to the entry, this build would earn a minimum of 2 points, because of our developments in spaceship mastery. And if I chose the pilot profession, I would also earn additional credits that would go towards personal technologies that I would use to give further advantage to Octan as I improve myself! But I can already hear you ask, "What if my LEGO collection doesn't have Octan colors?" No need to fear! You can build in the colors of the other corporations and of third parties that you invent via your own storytelling! Here is the same build of my exploring the oceans of Wastyria, but with the spaceship in Kawashita colors. Note how, despite the fact that the spaceships are exactly the same, the Octan colors just make the Octan version "pop" or stand out more. That's a natural side effect of Octan's bright color palette, which photographs well, compared to the darker tones of the other corporations. Now, if I were to add a land vehicle, the build would score a minimum of 3 points, because of our advances in ground tactics! That means I would only need 10 weeks to dominate a planet! On top of that, I can now be either a pilot or a driver by occupation and earn additional credits! You might be asking, "Why would I build in another corporation's colors?" Excellent question! It's possible that I could be participating in a spy or a sabotage operation. In fact, being a special operative is one of the occupational choices! And I'm not limited to just spying on or sabotaging Kawashita. I can spy on or sabotage M.A.N.T.I.S., as well! Those are just three potential occupations to choose from! Remember, YOU determine your own fate in Andromeda. Your story is your own and the limit is your imagination! Maybe you got stranded during an assignment, but discovered a lengthy derelict alien spaceship that is powered by twin cobalt blueball engines, and now you must begin the long and hard journey back home. For those with small collections, a microscale build would work perfectly here! Or perhaps your longtime best friend, the one-eyed monster, got kidnapped by the nefarious maidens of Zimunsk and is now being tortured by non-stop spanking, and only YOU can rescue him! WHO WILL SAVE THE ONE-EYED MONSTER IF YOU DON'T?! HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! HURRY AND SAVE HIM FROM AN ETERNITY OF SPANKING BY THE MAIDENS!!! I understand that participation does not just require LEGO building, but also some photography, as well. You have to show what you build, of course! For those without a fancy photography set up or an expensive camera, no need to worry! All the photos for this post were taken with the iPhone 5. See?! Even an old smart phone is good enough! If you don't believe me, click on any of the pictures which are linked to Flickr and that will give you the information on how the photographs were taken. Finally, recently, I've heard comments about Octan's dress code, and how perhaps it is too strict. I've done my best to relax it as much as I could, but in order to encourage new employees to apply for jobs at Octan and current employees on leave of absences to return, I'm going to go ahead and remove all restrictions on our dress code. And to set an example for all employees at Octan, I will get rid of the underwear I depended so much on to carry extra lotion and performance enhancing pills. Therefore, as your CEO, I will face a new challenge. How can I be debriefed if I am not wearing any briefs? But I am not alone, for I know you will join me. In any case, to conclude: Octan needs YOUR participation. If you need any sort of advice or encouragement, by all means, contact me or any of the other Octan employees. We are all eager to have you join us to help build a better Octan, and thus, a better tomorrow for Andromeda. Cheers, Pombe

All my monies to Bob!

I'd like to buy the Crystalizer, please!

Her curves and her lines...so gorgeous. And her nice big juicy sails. If the Black Marlin were a woman, I'd be in there like swimwear. BIOLOGY!!!