Captain Genaro Posted December 16, 2016 Certainly not one of my better builds, for which I apologize, but I had to get it out there. Comments and criticism are always welcome. A sequel to Kolonialbeamter's Home Alone An Unwelcome Visitor Joy was in the air. Ideas for the great wealth, and tax revenue, that were flowing in from New Terra filled the young Duke of Vele's mind. Reports on the exact amounts were still arriving, with each day bringing new news and even greater riches to the Royal Treasury, a fact that made the Intendant Général des Finances quite pleased. Standing in the great boardroom, well, it wouldn't officially be a boardroom for at least a day, the Duke almost smiled. Not only would these successes all but guarantee support for his proposals in the Court, but it would ensure his proposals would be fell funded. But suddenly the Duke’s thoughts were interrupted by three short knocks on the door. An Unwelcome Visitor by Capt. Genaro, on Flickr “Enter” said the Duke. “My Lord,” replied the servant, “I beg your pardon, but the workmen desire to know when they can resume furnishing this room.” “They may resume once I am finished” stated the Duke. “Certainly, my lord. Also, the Lord Calida is here and wishes to speak with you.” An Unwelcome Visitor by Capt. Genaro, on Flickr Startled, the Duke looked up. “Now?” The Duke’s mind raced. He hadn’t expected to deal with the Lord Chancellor until tomorrow. “Very well, in a minute, you may send him in. Cornelius” turning to the painter who had been quietly paining the whole while, “we will resume once I am finished, you may leave your equipment.” Cornelius bowed and exited through a side door as several servants arrived to prepare the Duke to receive Calida. Seconds after they had finished, shutting the side door behind them, the first servant reappeared through the main door, “Presenting Lucier Henri Calida, Lord of Courtia, Royal Chancellor to” but before the servant could finished, Calida brushed him aside and entered. An Unwelcome Visitor by Capt. Genaro, on Flickr “An unexpected… visit” said the Duke. “No doubt your spies informed you of my whereabouts.” “What is this?” hissed Calida, ignoring the Duke and holding up a piece of parchment. With a puzzled expression, the Duke took the parchment, and after careful examination declared “why, it certainly appears, just appears mind you, to be a piece of high quality parchment.” With the cold, dead eyes of a shark, Calida stared back for several seconds before repeating himself. “What is this?” “My I ask what exactly you are referring to?” replied the Duke, some of his boldness gone. Staring into those dark eyes was enough to frighten most men, and even the Duke Calida’s peer, wished he had several of his guards at his back. “Article IV” stated the ever-brief Calida. Pausing for a few moments to collect his thoughts, the Duke replied “It has the backing of the entire Court, well, at least of all the secretaries and the High Council. This draft of Article IV has been known for months, and I have yet to hear of any complaints from anyone other than yourself. Furthermore,” continued the Duc, becoming bolder as he went on, “furthermore, I assure you that the Order will get whatever exceptions it needs to continue looking for magic rocks or holy trees or whatever sacred thing you consistently waste the Crown’s doubloons trying to find.” “You could be imprisoned for making such remarks about the Faith” Calida growled, his normally unchanging face showing a flickering of anger, or possibly fear. “Yes, Calida, and even the Order’s temples are subject to tax,” threatened the Duke. “If my agents visited the main temple tomorrow,” “We will discuss this matter in Court” interrupted Calida as he turned, swiftly glided across the room and left as quickly as he came. An Unwelcome Visitor by Capt. Genaro, on Flickr Yes, joy surely was in the air, but as he stood there, the adrenaline slowly leaving him, the young Duke couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t gone too far. Regardless, it was too late to change anything now. Ships had been deployed, agents were making preparations, and tomorrow the whole Court would gather to see the Duke’s proposals signed by the King. Oh well, sighed the Duke feeling the official Charter safely stored inside his cloak, perhaps he’d feel better after a good night’s rest. An Unwelcome Visitor by Capt. Genaro, on Flickr Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kai NRG Posted December 16, 2016 I like where this (seems to be) going... good work with the storyline so far! The build itself is perhaps a little plain, as you admit - maybe varying the texture of the walls by doing one profile brick facing one way, and the next facing the other way, would have helped a little? Although the initial pose is pretty neat, and the floor, while simple, is a good color combination! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bregir Posted December 17, 2016 (edited) Well well, somebody doesn't want to let Eslandola have all the drama! (Anyways. They seem to have agreed and stuff. BOOOORING! :P) Seems like Calida is about ready to institute an Olean Inquisition! The duke seems to be taking some chances by making an enemy of such a powerful man! And of course, one cannot but wonder what "Article IV" (or all the other articles, really) contains! Also, I wish I could say that a build such as this wasn't one of my better builds! While it is very no-nonsense, I love how he poses for the painting, the painters set-up, the change from tricorn to wig, the story, the backside brick bricks for walls, the large windows, the floor patterning... Well, I think you catch my drift. Fireplace and servants door are great too. My only comment is that sometimes, the text could use a comma or two, as some of it doesn't seem to flow entirely correct. Had to go back and revisit a sentence or two. Considering you write so wonderfully elaborate, a second proof-read might make it easier for second language englishers like meself to understand :) Very minor issue, though! All in all, great writing, great story, great moc and great presentation. Well done! Edited December 17, 2016 by Bregir Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gedren_y Posted December 17, 2016 The Order of the Faith seem to be getting quite upset. Could that Article IV refer to some anti-persecution provision? The Triuri faith has been spreading in New Terra. The build itself is nice and clean. Sure, it doesn't appear that you used any complicated techniques, but the story didn't need cluttered images. That snot table is pretty good, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elostirion Posted December 17, 2016 Well, wow - fantastic story! I don't feel that the MOC is particularly bad at all, actually I like it. Not every single MOC has to be a masterpiece, but it's definitely fine and a great contribution to BOBS - what more could you want? Nice floor, nice desk, nice posing, good job I say. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kolonialbeamter Posted December 17, 2016 3 hours ago, Elostirion said: actually I like it Same here! A lot, even! And as a simple story MOC this is even better. I just adore the first picture Great minifig posing as usual, thanks for revealing the entire BoBS globe and the great boardroom really looks new, and like it's about to be filled with productivity and scheming. However, you need to tell the maiden to clean up the place before it all starts - the floor is quite dusty Oh, and fantastic story. But you know that already Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Braunsfeld Posted December 17, 2016 I'll be curious to see how this storyline will continue Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
