Endgame

Hmm, that'd actually be really interesting. Perhaps different wines, or sake?

"There isn't going to be a mirror Saga, is there? Or am I going to have to prance through Stirlance's "An Ode to Undead Genocide?"" I take a deep breath, and submerge that bitter part of my consciousness. "Karie... Will you help me reassemble this? Some bonding that isn't murderous for once? From top to bottom: Exofors, Spyrium, Olegaia, Galidoor, Belvel, and then Aureol - the Sun."

"...I'd rather not make contact with Pleaides, if you folks don't mind. I've already done enough to her."

"If we're the prey, I pity whatever you are, consider even you had respect for the fallen Aureole. Shall we try reassembling the model? Perhaps it opens the way through."

Fire ravages Scafflord's body, the construct shrieking in pain. "NNnnnnnrggggh. Insufferable gnats! You won't leave this mine alive!"

QM: Disregarding, my bad. Round One of The Battle Of The Lords! >Arthur VS Scafflord (back): Critical Hit (11x2=22+31=53-7=46 damage) >Grimwald cats Frailty on Scafflord (back): Success! >Grimwald heals the Minoid (back): Greater Heal (6x2=12+12=24 HP healed) >Erdathcath VS Scafflord (back): Aim Critical Hit (15x2=30+20=50x4=200x2=400-9=393) (formerly 193) >Minoid VS Bouldlord (back): Damage (42/2=21-2=19 damage) >Erdathcath VS Scafflord (back): Aim Aim (20x4=120x2=240-7=113 233) (formerly 113) The party focusses their efforts on Scafflord, managing to dish out a decent amount of damage to the wooden menace. He begins to spurt and bleed... black ink? The Minoid stands up to the Bouldlord, only to get crushed by the beast's girth. "Nnnnnrrrrk." Scafflord, Level 44 Mechanical Plant *Bleeding!* *Fragile! 3 rounds remaining* *Poison 20!* HP: 178/900 SP: 7 Immune to Sealing and Blindness! Specials: If Bouldlord Is Alive: Pillar Sweep: Scafflord grabs Bouldord and holds him like a club, smashing each hero. All heroes take damage equal to their level times 1.5. If Scafflord Is Alone: Splinter Storm: Scafflord unleashes a flurry of wooden stakes. Two random heroes take 30 damage, disregarding SP. Passive Specials: Splinter Effect: Every succesful attack on Scafflord raises his level by 2. Vengeance!: If Bouldord dies, Scafflord becomes lucky. Drops: Splinter Broom "Can't lay a finger on me!" Bouldlord, Level 42 Rock HP: 900/900 SP: 7 Immune to Sealing and Blindness! Specials: If Scafflord Is Alive: Tremor Drop: Scafflord picks up Bouldlord and throws him up in the air, the rock monster landing with a thud. The resulting quake has a 1/2 chance of Stunning each hero, and has a 1/6 chance of dequipping each hero's artifacts. If Bouldlord Is Alive: Tower Power: Bouldlord crushes the hero, cutting their health and ether in half instantly, defying row and SP. Passive Specials: Collapse: Every single time Bouldlord is damaged, he has a 1/3 chance of toppling on top of the hero. This halves their health, disregarding row and SP. Vengeance!: If Scafflord is defeated, Bouldlord becomes Hastened. Drops: Silver Ore x2 The Party: Arthur Justus Regulus VII, a Hero Who Is Actually Worth Something (played by Flipz), Level 31.33 Mystic Knight, 22-year-old male Human *Immune to Fragile and all Poisons* *Only Receives One Negative Effect At A Time* [ Currently in: Six Thousand Feet Under] *Party Leader!* Power: 42 (31 + WP:11) Health: 54/54 (Basic Health: 5 + Level Bonus: 30 + Class Boost: 15 + Permanent Boost: 4*) Ether: 36/36 (Basic Ether: 5 + Level Bonus: 30) Defense: 20 (Arm Shield: 14 + Duke's Coat-of-Arms: 5 + Unicorn Helmet: 1) Gold: 198 (Owed 128 gold by Boomingham) Equipment: Gladiator Trident (WP: 11, Spear, causes bleeding effect), Arm Shield (SP:14), Duke's Coat-of-Arms (Protects against Fragile and all Poisons, SP; 5, suitable for knights, dragoons, skirmishers and regulators; bodywear), Unicorn Helmet (SP:1; the wearer can only receive one negative effect at a time, with a new effect replacing the old one; usable by barbarians, knights, dragoons, infiltrators, regulators, skirmishers, and winged warriors; headwear), Zap-Tap Badge (Artefact, Accessory. Has a 1/2 chance to deal Electric damage to an opponent who has dealt damage to a hero, equal to the hero's level.), Cloak of Deception (Backwear, Free hits against the wearer have a 1/6 chance to be redirected to a random opponent Inventory: Weapons: Zoot's Rebel (WP:20 broomstick, suitable to Arthur only), Sir Roderick's Sword (WP:12, Longsword), Sword of the Vampir (WP:17, user is Jinxed), Duplovian Swift Halberd (WP:3, stuns on successful hits, Hollow [Ambrosia] halberd),Spider Leg (WP:8, doubled against flying enemies; spear), (Unsuitable weapons: Ammit (Greatsword, WP 6, gains 5 Ether for each kill), Artifacts: Duplovian Helmet of the Guard (SP:2, Immune to Magic and Healing), Shackles of War (Accessory, Prevents anyone from fleeing battles), Jester's Hat (Headwear, Wearer may choose to gain one immunity from targeted enemy), Stingy Gloves (Handwear, wearable by everybody. Prevents enemies from ever stealing gold from you.), Minoid Card Key (Unsuitable Artifacts: Sticky Gloves (Handwear, Increases the amount of gold stolen by 50% (rounded up), suitable for rogues and beast warriors) (sent to Isaac Shawe) ) Gems: Opal (Ice), Amethyst (Darkness), Topaz (Lightning), Diamond (Light), Garnet (Earth), Tools: Bedroll, Telescope, Shovel, Magnifying Glass, Pickaxe, Magic Compass Scrolls: All Lent! Consumables: *Healing: Potion, Grand Potion x10, Tonic, Grand Tonic x6, Ether Core, Remedy x8, Elixir x4, Sushi x3 *Status: Nostrum x3, Hurricane, Smelling Salts x 2, Mead x2, Ambrosia x2, Dragon Scales x2, Jinxy Juice x2, *Venoms: Exterlate, Noxious Venom (When used on a weapon, the weapon deals the Poisoned-by-10 effect for the duration of the battle and the Confused effect for the next three rounds, for the duration of one battle.), *Permanent Improvement: Bright Polish, Grating Stone, Ella's Pie (Permanently boosts max. ether by 5 but permanently decreases max. health by 5 when consumed.), *Bombs: Smoke Bomb x5, 3 Bones, Chaotic Bomb (Causes 100 random elemental damage to all opponents), Pumpkin Bomb (Causes stunned-, poisoned-, asleep-, blinded-, sealed- and confused-effects to all opponents when used.), *Currency: Scrap Metal x2, Silver Ore Erdathcath Madilinas, 199 years old, Level 20.66 Druid *Encouraged!* *Hastened!* Power: 35 Health: 34/34 Ether: 20/23 Gold: 221 Equipped: Tritech Handcannon (WP:15, Fire-elemental *Poison 10*), Satchel of Awesomeness (Permanent Lucky-effect; bodywear), Amulet of Optimism (Adds the confused-effect to all attacks; suitable to Erdathcath only; accessory), Overkill Gloves Inventory: Longbow (WP:7), Helmet (+1 max. health), 6 Potions, 3 Grand Potions, 6 Mead, 6 Smelling Salts, 15 Venoms, 3 Deadly Venoms, 1 Super Deadly Venom, 2 Floral Bombs, 2 Ice Bombs, 2 Lightning Bombs, 1 Fire Bomb, 3 Smoke Bombs, 2 Water Bombs, 2 Holy Bomb, 2 Dirt Bombs, 2 Air Bombs, Bone, Skeleton Decoy, Bedroll, Shovel, Pickaxe, Telescope, Saber teeth, Scroll of Weakening, Snake Eye Charm (protects from petrified), Mage's muffler (protects from sealing), Jinxy Juice, Grand Tonic x2, Love Potion, Blind Fury, Grating Stone, Jinxy Juice, Deadly Venom, Mythril Shard, Unlucky Horseshoe (WP:13, retrievable, causes Jinxed-effect; throwing weapon), Staff of Ennon - (WP: 5, Light-Elemental, Restores 2 ether on a roll of 2, 3, or 4), Scroll of Sleep, Scroll of Frailty, Scroll of Blindness, Scroll of Confusion, Healing Staff (WP: 5), 69 year old male gnome Cleric (Immune to Weakened) Level: 13 Power: 20 (13 + 6 + permanent boost of 1) SP: 0 Health: 21/21 Ether: 1/17 Gold: 226 Equipment: Knotted Broom (WP: 6), Noble Mask (Wearer gains gold equal to the number of enemies after each victorious battle; headwear), Lens of Speed Reading (Accessory, Allows a scroll to be read in addition to a normal action. Suitable for scroll users.), Inventory: Shovel, Pickaxe, Scroll of Frailty, Scroll of Sleep, Mead, Tonic, Remedy x3, Potion x2, Bone x2, Grand Potion, Bunch of Cherries (10/10 cherries that each restore 1 ether when eaten), Chaotic Bomb (Causes 100 random elemental damage to all opponents), Bedroll, Ice Bomb, Root beer (Restores 10 health, or can be used as a bomb against Undead enemies for 20 damage (Does not affect non-Undead enemies)), Ambrosia, Scroll of Blindness, Scroll of Confusion, Scroll of Armor Sundering (Reduces target’s SP by 5 and has a 50/50 chance of success), Scroll of Poisoning (Grants target’s weapon the Poisoned 10 effect for one battle at the cost of 5 ether), Scroll of Luck (Grants target the Lucky-effect for one battle. Costs 10 ether.), Scroll of Weakening, Healing Staff (WP: 5), Smoke Bomb, Plague Venom, Staff of the Cultist Battlemage (WP: 7, 50% chance of Fleeing upon being KO'd; suitable for Mages and Clerics), Tricorne (suitable for anyone, SP: 3, headwear), Grand Tonic x2, Pugilist's Gloves (+2 power/immune to Weakened), Scarf of Misfortune (Accessory, Wearer deals the Jinxed effect on every third round) "To battle." Minoid, Level 18.5 Drilling Automaton HP: 11/30 Power: 28 SP: 2 Equipment: Minoid Drill Arm (WP: 13), Iron Shell (SP: 2), Scanning Eye (Allows the Minoid to analyze most foes before battle. If in battle, it can spend a turn to analyze the fight) Inventory: Ether Core, Health Core, Remedy x3, Grand Potion x3, Ambrosia, Hollow Blade Dagger (WP:6, dagger, hollow-blade [remedy]), Quick bow (WP: 6, Suitable to rangers, provides hastened effect for one round each battle)

<Presumably he was born our size... His gluttony probably helped him along, yeah.>

<Two adult humans big! He's huge!>

<U-u-u-uuuuuuhhhhhm... We know how big Kos is! Is that of use? Pleasepleasepleaseplease...>

<We've spent most of our life in this room... We haven't ventured into the basement, ever.>

"Usually don't vocalize it, really. It's a lot easier to hide yourself when you're faceless, you know? People just see the blue void and see... nothing. Shame I left the hood in Eubric. And no, I don't think I'm okay."

<No... Only rumors... Scary rumors...>

<Nope! Somehwere else in the city, probably. Kos probably thought this place was cozy, and then everyone followed him... And then subsequently turned on themselves because of the pantry.>

<The North! They came on some crate of supplies shipped from some remot eisland, according to them.. Maybe they're just freaks though. Whatever it is, they're northern - like, North Pole northern.>

"Clearly, sometimes the best isn't enough. Especially my best, if 429 years have proven a thing."

<They whittled each other down, but they never could conquer the other. I've heard the last spider has currently hijacked control of the ants. Kos... A creature to be feared.>

QM Note: What's the cloak of misfortune? It isn't in your inventory. The two giants unleash hollowing laughter - Scafflord's laughter raspy and creaky, and Bouldlord's gruff and gravelly. "Hah! Guilty as charged!" "One point for "Team Worthless", it looks like." "You really are bitter about your pitiful little friends, eh?" "We made your mentor and your wretched little crush scream!" "And you're next in line, you abomination - hiding under the guise of flesh! I am Oculoid Chief 0113..." "...And I am Oculoid Chief 0114." "And we sentence all of you to death!" The party draws their weapons as the colluses approach with shocking agility - it was time to throw down with just two of these menaces! Prepare For Battle! "You're gonna die here!" Scafflord, Level 38 Mechanical Plant HP: 900/900 SP: 7 Immune to Sealing and Blindness! Specials: If Bouldlord Is Alive: Pillar Sweep: Scafflord grabs Bouldord and holds him like a club, smashing each hero. All heroes take damage equal to their level times 1.5. If Scafflord Is Alone: Splinter Storm: Scafflord unleashes a flurry of wooden stakes. Two random heroes take 30 damage, disregarding SP. Passive Specials: Splinter Effect: Every succesful attack on Scafflord raises his level by 2. Vengeance!: If Bouldord dies, Scafflord becomes lucky. Drops: Splinter Broom "No one will mourn any of you." Bouldlord, Level 42 Rock HP: 900/900 SP: 7 Immune to Sealing and Blindness! Specials: If Scafflord Is Alive: Tremor Drop: Scafflord picks up Bouldlord and throws him up in the air, the rock monster landing with a thud. The resulting quake has a 1/2 chance of Stunning each hero, and has a 1/6 chance of dequipping each hero's artifacts. If Bouldlord Is Alive: Tower Power: Bouldlord crushes the hero, cutting their health and ether in half instantly, defying row and SP. Passive Specials: Collapse: Every single time Bouldlord is damaged, he has a 1/3 chance of toppling on top of the hero. This halves their health, regarding row and SP. Vengeance!: If Scafflord is defeated, Bouldlord becomes Hastened. Drops: Silver Ore x2 The Party: Arthur Justus Regulus VII, a Hero Who Is Actually Worth Something (played by Flipz), Level 31.33 Mystic Knight, 22-year-old male Human *Immune to Fragile and all Poisons* *Only Receives One Negative Effect At A Time* [ Currently in: Six Thousand Feet Under] *Party Leader!* Power: 42 (31 + WP:11) Health: 54/54 (Basic Health: 5 + Level Bonus: 30 + Class Boost: 15 + Permanent Boost: 4*) Ether: 36/36 (Basic Ether: 5 + Level Bonus: 30) Defense: 20 (Arm Shield: 14 + Duke's Coat-of-Arms: 5 + Unicorn Helmet: 1) Gold: 198 (Owed 128 gold by Boomingham) Equipment: Gladiator Trident (WP: 11, Spear, causes bleeding effect), Arm Shield (SP:14), Duke's Coat-of-Arms (Protects against Fragile and all Poisons, SP; 5, suitable for knights, dragoons, skirmishers and regulators; bodywear), Unicorn Helmet (SP:1; the wearer can only receive one negative effect at a time, with a new effect replacing the old one; usable by barbarians, knights, dragoons, infiltrators, regulators, skirmishers, and winged warriors; headwear), Zap-Tap Badge (Artefact, Accessory. Has a 1/2 chance to deal Electric damage to an opponent who has dealt damage to a hero, equal to the hero's level.), Scarf of Misfortune (Accessory, Wearer deals the Jinxed effect on every third round)Inventory: Weapons: Zoot's Rebel (WP:20 broomstick, suitable to Arthur only), Sir Roderick's Sword (WP:12, Longsword), Sword of the Vampir (WP:17, user is Jinxed), Duplovian Swift Halberd (WP:3, stuns on successful hits, Hollow [Ambrosia] halberd),Spider Leg (WP:8, doubled against flying enemies; spear), (Unsuitable weapons: Hollow Blade Dagger (WP:6, dagger, hollow-blade [nothing]), Ammit (Greatsword, WP 6, gains 5 Ether for each kill), Artifacts: Duplovian Helmet of the Guard (SP:2, Immune to Magic and Healing), Shackles of War (Accessory, Prevents anyone from fleeing battles), Cloak of Deception (Backwear, Free hits against the wearer have a 1/6 chance to be redirected to a random opponent), Jester's Hat (Headwear, Wearer may choose to gain one immunity from targeted enemy), Stingy Gloves (Handwear, wearable by everybody. Prevents enemies from ever stealing gold from you.), Minoid Card Key (Unsuitable Artifacts: Sticky Gloves (Handwear, Increases the amount of gold stolen by 50% (rounded up), suitable for rogues and beast warriors) (sent to Isaac Shawe) ) Gems: Opal (Ice), Amethyst (Darkness), Topaz (Lightning), Diamond (Light), Garnet (Earth), Tools: Bedroll, Telescope, Shovel, Magnifying Glass, Pickaxe, Magic Compass Scrolls: All Lent! Consumables: *Healing: Potion, Grand Potion x10, Tonic, Grand Tonic x6, Ether Core, Remedy x9, Elixir x4, Sushi x3 *Status: Nostrum x3, Hurricane, Smelling Salts x 2, Mead x2, Ambrosia x2, Dragon Scales x2, Jinxy Juice x2, *Venoms: Exterlate, Noxious Venom (When used on a weapon, the weapon deals the Poisoned-by-10 effect for the duration of the battle and the Confused effect for the next three rounds, for the duration of one battle.), *Permanent Improvement: Bright Polish, Grating Stone, Ella's Pie (Permanently boosts max. ether by 5 but permanently decreases max. health by 5 when consumed.), *Bombs: Smoke Bomb x5, 3 Bones, Chaotic Bomb (Causes 100 random elemental damage to all opponents), Pumpkin Bomb (Causes stunned-, poisoned-, asleep-, blinded-, sealed- and confused-effects to all opponents when used.), *Currency: Scrap Metal x2, Silver Ore Erdathcath Madilinas, 199 years old, Level 20.66 Druid *Encouraged!* Power: 35 Health: 34/34 Ether: 20/23 Gold: 221 Equipped: Tritech Handcannon (WP:15, Fire-elemental *Poison 10*), Satchel of Awesomeness (Permanent Lucky-effect; bodywear), Amulet of Optimism (Adds the confused-effect to all attacks; suitable to Erdathcath only; accessory), Overkill Gloves Inventory: Longbow (WP:7), Quick bow (WP: 6, Suitable to rangers, provides hastened effect for one round each battle), Helmet (+1 max. health), 6 Potions, 3 Grand Potions, 6 Mead, 6 Smelling Salts, 15 Venoms, 3 Deadly Venoms, 1 Super Deadly Venom, 2 Floral Bombs, 2 Ice Bombs, 2 Lightning Bombs, 1 Fire Bomb, 3 Smoke Bombs, 2 Water Bombs, 2 Holy Bomb, 2 Dirt Bombs, 2 Air Bombs, Bone, Skeleton Decoy, Bedroll, Shovel, Pickaxe, Telescope, Saber teeth, Scroll of Weakening, Snake Eye Charm (protects from petrified), Mage's muffler (protects from sealing), Jinxy Juice, Grand Tonic x2, Love Potion, Blind Fury, Grating Stone, Jinxy Juice, Deadly Venom, Mythril Shard, Unlucky Horseshoe (WP:13, retrievable, causes Jinxed-effect; throwing weapon), Staff of Ennon - (WP: 5, Light-Elemental, Restores 2 ether on a roll of 2, 3, or 4), Scroll of Sleep, Scroll of Frailty, Scroll of Blindness, Scroll of Confusion, Healing Staff (WP: 5), 69 year old male gnome Cleric (Immune to Weakened) Level: 13 Power: 20 (13 + 6 + permanent boost of 1) SP: 0 Health: 21/21 Ether: 3/17 Gold: 226 Equipment: Knotted Broom (WP: 6), Noble Mask (Wearer gains gold equal to the number of enemies after each victorious battle; headwear), Lens of Speed Reading (Accessory, Allows a scroll to be read in addition to a normal action. Suitable for scroll users.), Inventory: Shovel, Pickaxe, Scroll of Frailty, Scroll of Sleep, Mead, Tonic, Remedy x3, Potion x2, Bone x2, Grand Potion, Bunch of Cherries (10/10 cherries that each restore 1 ether when eaten), Chaotic Bomb (Causes 100 random elemental damage to all opponents), Bedroll, Ice Bomb, Root beer (Restores 10 health, or can be used as a bomb against Undead enemies for 20 damage (Does not affect non-Undead enemies)), Ambrosia, Scroll of Blindness, Scroll of Confusion, Scroll of Armor Sundering (Reduces target’s SP by 5 and has a 50/50 chance of success), Scroll of Poisoning (Grants target’s weapon the Poisoned 10 effect for one battle at the cost of 5 ether), Scroll of Luck (Grants target the Lucky-effect for one battle. Costs 10 ether.), Scroll of Weakening, Healing Staff (WP: 5), Smoke Bomb, Plague Venom, Staff of the Cultist Battlemage (WP: 7, 50% chance of Fleeing upon being KO'd; suitable for Mages and Clerics), Tricorne (suitable for anyone, SP: 3, headwear), Grand Tonic x2, Pugilist's Gloves (+2 power/immune to Weakened) "To battle." Minoid, Level 18.5 Drilling Automaton HP: 23/30 Power: 28 SP: 2 Equipment: Minoid Drill Arm (WP: 13), Iron Shell (SP: 2), Scanning Eye (Allows the Minoid to analyze most foes before battle. If in battle, it can spend a turn to analyze the fight) Inventory: Ether Core, Health Core, Remedy x3, Grand Potion x3, Ambrosia --------------------------- "QUERY: To properly convey my current sentiments, I am going to use a quote. Stirlance, Play A Midwinter Day's Illusion, page 14, paragraph 2: QUOTE: "What the #@$% is going on here?!" END QUOTE."

One colony answers question 1: <The ants, the worms, and the spiders were the always the biggest insects here, figuratively and literally. The worms and ants feuded c-constantly, and the spiders... just kind of profitted from the quarrel, really. They ruled both of sides and just took food whenevever. They even ate the ant leader's second in command, I heard, just for fun!> Another answers question 2: <I dunno. When we came here, it was vacant.> And the last one answers 3: <We're kinda just using it for the pictures, and making up the rules as we go along... Kinda ruined the game. It looks like you've already gotten most of the good stuff, although I hear there's a keg of mead in this place.>

7/13 bugs crushed! It takes a second, but after smothering the rather belligrent squad of bugs, the others entire a hysterical panic. <W-w-w-w-we'll play any game you like!> <Totally! 100% ff-f-or anything you have in mind, sire! Your lordship! Giant almighty!> <We can worship you, if you like! P-p-p-please spare us!>

"Awww, you're no fun. You're lucky. Usually for most humans, I just come out of whatever vessel I'm currently possesing, suck their souls dry, and call it a day." "You folks are getting special treatment." "Hit us up with your best guess." "Indulge us, why don't you?"

"I take it you are unfazed by our offer, Gnome?"

Accept the agreement, and see what happens. ANSWER: Bad things.

"Non-disclosure agreement." "Pretty much, yeah."

"It's amazing!" "With a plethora of benefits!" "Your body is enhanced!" "Your mind is sharpened!" "Extended life span!" "Alleviates all of your stress for the rest of your life!" "More power than you've ever weilded in your pathetic, squishy lives!" "A jolt to your brain's pleasure center every 2 hours!" "And the cost is tiny." "What we expect from you is minimal." "Unswerving obedience to our master and cause (which you will be permanently brainwashed into having)!" "So, now we ask..." "Do we have a deal? A brand new, powerful body, and no worries or cares for the rest of your life! Free will is a tiny price to pay."