Does Eurobricks need a "no opinion police" rule?

[danth]

It happens over and over.

You give an honest, good faith opinion of something: a set, a design, something totally unimportant like packaging. And it happens to be on the critical side.

And then come the opinion police.

"If you don't like it don't buy it"

"Why are you so negative?"

"I can't believe people are complaining about this"

"It's just a children's toy!"

"Lol X fans are always complaining".

"You'll never be satisfied."

Are these comments needed? Are the helping the discussion?

Or are they toxic, dismissing, snide, and insulting?

In response to the opinion police, the person with the opinion wants to defend it, so they reply, explaining why they have the negative opinion. And then the dog-piling gets worse.

"Why are there so many negative comments on this? Why do you keep going on and on? We've all heard enough!"

But if the opinions were never policed in the first place, there would be no defense of the opinion, and the topic would have moved on.

And if you notice the constant policing, and you ask "Why are you always policing opinions", you get in trouble, and the Mods will call you out specifically.

Isn't this a little bit, I don't know, insane? Why are people allowed to be opinion police?

I want people to disagree with me. If I like something, I want them to tell me why it sucks. If I hate something, I want them to tell me why it's good.

But I don't want someone to offer no opinion, no argument, and only dismiss, ridicule, and shut down my opinion. Or accuse me of being negative and silly or ungrateful. This is opinion policing. It's toxic and stifles actual opinion disagreements. It's meant to punish people who disagree, while offering no actual opinion-based disagreement.

It's incredibly insidious. And makes it impossible to offer constructive criticism on anything.

[The Brick Boss]

I have had issues like that in the past and I do seem to be having issues with that now, especially with the new City sets. My biggest rant is about the alien figs. But hey! Its Eurobricks, man! Eurobricks is kinda unique in that manner as you can't say too much without getting scorned. 

[Peppermint_M]

I would suggest a solution, but I don't know how staff could police "opinion policing". For everyone who is piling on to chide a complaint, there is someone who is posting what they genuinely believe to be "discussion" on the line, or they are trying to turn your opinion around. A few do like to go proselytising for their own stance.

Then there is the old adage that some stick to "If you can't say anything nice" (and you know how it goes) and will go in to call it out. I sometimes wonder if tone, or language barriers are problems for people also; it is hard to communicate a tone over the web and this is not helped by people's grasp of English (Even native speakers, each generation speaks and is used to their own "language"). 

There are hundreds of posts a day on the forum and Mods cannot go checking every single one. Reports exist to flag something up as a problem for moderators to look at. Then, someone makes a report on a more terse/harsh post that has been prompted by "opinion police" and there is little time to find out context for it or trace back the initial point that started the argument to see what is going on. The option is to ignore it and things escalate (or produce more reports), do nothing with it and get called out for inaction, or pop a post in to ask people to cool off. I know I have done that, when you are presented with a snapshot of an aggressive or mean toned post it will warrant a "Chill my man" at the least. 

Sorry,  I don't want to be blasé, or dismissive, but it is one of those difficult things. Maybe a "Be Respectful that Other's have Different Opinions to You" note in the guidelines (Modern debate is hamstrung by those who equate disagreement to hate and criticism to bullying after all) but that can backfire too... Just as there are those who seem to post to just grumble, there are those who seem to want to challenge any and all critical posting. 

 

[danth]

Thanks for the insights!

Yeah, it's an impossible problem. Mods have a tough job as it is.

Luckily the Mods on Eurobricks are incredibly good, IMO. Even when I've been called out, they're pretty chill about it and let me explain my side.

I guess the question is, can I do anything about "opinion policing"?

I can't report it if it's not against the rules.

And I can't call out the opinion policing person, because that's apparently against the rules. The mods have called me out for that before.

Can I tell them that I think they're trying to police my opinion, and that I don't like it?

Edited November 29, 2023 by danth

[Peppermint_M]

1 hour ago, danth said:

Can I tell them that I think they're trying to police my opinion, and that I don't like it

That sounds like a solid idea. Especially if the opinion you shared had reasons behind it in the post. We are all allowed to agree to disagree after all!

[Toastie]

6 hours ago, danth said:

Luckily the Mods on Eurobricks are incredibly good, IMO. Even when I've been called out, they're pretty chill about it and let me explain my side.

I totally agree on this. Experienced the same. For me, this is a wonderful place. There is moderation, there is freedom. And when you ask staff here, you always get a thoughtful reply.

I also tend to take it rather easy. If someone is "policing" you, don't reply immediately. What I do is look at the post count. Not the rank, duh. Then I look at other post of that member. Are they of the same "kind"? Well, if so, I simply put that post mentally into the bin "yeah, whatever"

Best,
Thorsten 

[danth]

5 hours ago, Peppermint_M said:

That sounds like a solid idea. Especially if the opinion you shared had reasons behind it in the post. We are all allowed to agree to disagree after all! 

Yay! Obviously I'll need to be better about ignoring it when possible, but if something really ruffles my feathers, I'll have a reasonable fallback option.

54 minutes ago, Toastie said:

I also tend to take it rather easy. If someone is "policing" you, don't reply immediately.

Good advice. I get pretty hot headed sometimes. I need to be better about taking a breath.

[Lego Tom]

The sooner you learn that your opinion is wrong and mine is right, the better.

NO - THAT WAS SAID IN JEST!!!! (seems some folks around here can't tell sarcasm or humor from reality). There is a crude saying about opinions, the gist being that everyone has them. Some tend to think that theirs was given to them by the hand of God. None of mine were thus delivered. Mine are assembled from my multitude of life experiences but have no more validation than the next person's EXCEPT when that person's opinion is based on supposition instead of first hand facts/knowledge, either theirs or someone else's. I respect someone's opinion when that opinion is based upon facts, especially if it saves me from making mistakes or looking like an idiot. Listening to someone's opinion based on how they believe things are is a questionable use of time. Many don't seem to understand the difference.

As to people disputing my opinion, that is their prerogative. If they can prove my opinion is wrong, based upon facts, I will modify my opinion. If they rail against my opinion simply because they don't like it, I tend to ignore them because my mother taught me it was best to forego a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

[Aanchir]

On 11/29/2023 at 7:30 PM, danth said:

Yay! Obviously I'll need to be better about ignoring it when possible, but if something really ruffles my feathers, I'll have a reasonable fallback option.

Good advice. I get pretty hot headed sometimes. I need to be better about taking a breath.

Both these things can definitely be helpful for a LOT of us! I my case I spend so much time on some of my posts that I definitely feel like I should make more effort to ask myself "is this effort worth it? Am I adding anything to the conversation? Or am I better leaving it be?"

For what it's worth, I know I'm one of the folks who has sometimes made posts that have come across as dismissive or disrespectful, and I promise I don't intend them that way, so if you do feel like any recent comment of mine seems that way, I definitely encourage you to reach out to me. I definitely do appreciate your contributions here, even though discussions with you sometimes get a little heated, and half the reason I am so keen on replying when your opinions are at odds with mine is that I enjoy being able to "compare notes" and gain insight into how/why our perspectives differ.

My tendency to be wordy and rambly probably doesn't help in these cases, 'cuz I know that sometimes a "wall of text" can seem like an effort to shut down opposing opinions. I try to keep those tendencies in check so I'm not just an annoyance to the folks I reply to, but it never hurts to get a nudge if I'm failing at that.

[Black Falcon]

7 minutes ago, Aanchir said:

Both these things can definitely be helpful for a LOT of us! I my case I spend so much time on some of my posts that I definitely feel like I should make more effort to ask myself "is this effort worth it? Am I adding anything to the conversation? Or am I better leaving it be?"

I can only talk about my personal impression of your posts, but I think you really got nothing to fear there. On the contrary I would say you are definitely one of the persons that add more towards a conversation, than others do - and I also didn´t got the impression you wanted to shut someone (or someones opinion) down.