Dannylonglegs

That one's mine... 'cept the noobs part for the most part. I think you're mixing Kintobor's 61 and 62. Mine's been about intrigue and betrayal and rogues and greed, with a mostly serious tone (apart from this last battle, and all the puns) while his has been about ridding the graveyard of some spooks, with a more humerus tone... and he's got most of the noobs. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

In his defense, vikings were both very manly, and very concerned about their beautiful braided hair. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

And all because a throwaway plot-unrelated combat, a Monty Python reference and a gaggle of RPers. and I would have gotten away with it weren't for you meddling RPers and my penchant for puns! ~Insectoid Aristocrat

I never intended for this. Curse you Roleplayers!!! Oh yes you are. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Drake scurried off and got back into his clothes. When he had finally reverted back to his original form, he found that some of his slime had been absorbed by a piece of cloth. He picked it up, and wondered what would happen if he used it to polish off a shield or piece of armour. Drake found: Oil of Newtism ((consumable) +4 to SP of SP granting item vs. Aquatic Vermin. The item then becomes usable only by those who have been amphibians) (OoC: I suggest you hold on to that, and not use it just now. ) (Also, while I use the term ex-amphibians, if a current amphibian is capable of using said item, they can as well.) Karie Alderflask (Played by Kintober) *Party Leader* 22 year old Newt Human Rogue, lvl 8 Power: 14 (lvl 8 + WP: 6) Health: 14/14 Gold: 31 Equipment: Sexy (WP: 6, Rapier, Disregards SP, usable by Knights and Rogues) Inventory: Potion (6), Mead (2), Remedy (2), Venom (1), Smoke bomb (1), Telescope (1), Bedroll (1), Heirloom Dagger (WP:3), Map of Brendenton (1), Spider Coin (worth 1 gp) (1),Dagger (WP:4), Topaz, Fire Bomb (1), Wheelbarrow full of corpses, Bone, Scroll of Newtity (costs 10 ether) (usable by ex-Amphibians only), Ethereal Cloak (SP +2, Max. Ether +4) Nessa Anárion (herrJJ) 59 years old female newt elven Ranger Level 11 Power: 18 (Lvl. 11 + WP: 7) (20 vs. Werefolk) Defense: 1 Health: 17/17 Gold: 0 Equipment: Silver Crossbow with Raven-Slayer Bolts (WP 7 (+3 vs. werefolk (removable)), Leather Armour (SP: 1), Inventory: Smoke Bomb, Bedroll, Magic Compass, Venom x2, Mead, Potion x2, Croise Bow (WP: 6) (usable by Rangers), Smelling Salts, Bone, Newty Mag. (+4 vs. Aquatic vermin (removable) (usable by ex-Amphibians only)) Drake Flamerobe 25 year old male human newt Level 9 Knight Power: 14 Defense: 2 Health: 19/19 Ether: 0/0 Gold: 310 Equipment: Greatsword (WP:5), Shield (SP:2) Helmet Inventory: Torch(WP:3), Potion x2, Phoenix Essence, Tonic, Shovel, Bedroll, Mead, Smoke Bomb, Remedy, Fire Bomb, Bone, Amethyst, Oil of Newtism (+4 to SP vs. Aquatic Vermin (usable by ex-Amphibians only)) Dreyrugr (Vash the Stampede) 1000 year old Male Vampire Rogue Level 14 Power: 18 (Level 14+Weapon 6) Health: 19/20 (Rogue Base 7+ Level Bonus 13) Gold: 95 Equipment: Crow-Claw Dagger (WP: 6, 1/6 chance to stun enemy on successful attack), Psuedos Hood Inventory: Venom x2, Bedroll, Remedy, Grand Potionx1, Smelling Salts x3, Amethyst, Shuriken (WP:5), Mead, Net (if used in combat, 1/3 chance to slow enemy, 1/3 chance to be useless, 1/3 chance slow self, lasts 3 rounds, retrievable), Nostrum, Potion x2, Throwing Dagger (WP:3) Fauxthril Scythe (WP:5), The Heads (Quest Item), Bone, Nostrum, Gloves of the Undead Assassin (For every enemy the wearer kills, it gains 5 HP, Usable by anyone, Handgear) Amorith Marvelo (Played by legobodgers) Level 14 Mage Power: 22 (14+8+1) Health: 17/18 Ether: 9/18 SP: 6 Gold: 5 Equipment: Dual staff (WP: 8) damages 2 enemies in one hit, Crow-Cursed Cloak (SP: 6 Suitable for Mages or Rogues) Inventory: Fang Dagger (WP: 5), opal (ice), ruby (fire), garnet (earth), diamond (light), amethyst (darkness), 5 potions, 9 tonics, 4 remedies, 1 elixir, 3 nostrums, 3 mead, ice bomb, smoke bomb, shovel, bedroll, 4 bones, jo-no tree seed, Scroll of Blindness, Fire Bomb, Phoenix Essence OoC: I'll send you to the next place this evening.

Yes, those are they. I've just been getting google pics for the pics, since I only own the green and grey ones, neither of which are currently in my possession. Wait, really? I guess your work computor's not friendly towards tasteful newts? Alright, I'm done. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Don't worry, my Players are experimenting with Newtity. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

OoC: Graceful as always, I see. While Nessa was rearranging her equipment, she found that some of her own toxic slime had completely permeated one of her rounds of crossbow ammunition. She must have been sitting on it when she was a Newt. She could tell by examining it though, that it had been imbued with some new power. Nessa found: Newty Magazine ((Removable) grants a +4 to WP against Aquatic Vermin (Usable only by those who have been amphibians)

Ahahahaha! Beautiful pic HerrJJ! ~Insectiod Aristocrat

What have I done?! ~Insectoid Aristocrat

You might say that. I'm dying of Antici...... ...pation. In other news, while "Rubix Sixsquares" was not the last "optional" combat, it was the last that has nothing to do with Fleur and the plot, before you get to her (apart from any you may pick in the maze). ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Alright! I can help with that. It really just gets worse from here. :wishestherewasanemoticonforburningbuildings: ~Insectoid Aristocrat

​Is this going to be permanent, or just for the time-being? I'm so accustomed to her mask! ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Well, it's not a show-tune, and it's not technically about Newts, but I can't wait to show off the item Nessa's getting. The title is puntastic. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

OoC: Oh noes! While Karie looked around, she found a rolled up item over-looked during their looting... A small scroll dropped by the Mage. Karie found: Scroll of Newtity (Turns Target into a Newt. Target is minimized, all attacks become (Bite, usable by anyone, non-ranged, WP=Current highest WP item, *Poisoned*) (or Bite, Damage equal to Level. Deals *Poisoned* effect.) If target is an enemy, its Type becomes “Aquatic, Vermin,” Effect lasts one round if cast in combat, or up to one minute (probably) out of combat) (those immune to minimization or those who are already Amphibians are immune.) (Costs 10 Ether) (Usable only by those who have been amphibians) There you go, a little something for your sportsmanship. Dreyrugr helped a bit in its conception. I'll update everyone's loot when the others speak-up. I think Dreyrugr said something about wanting the gloves. Karie Alderflask (Played by Kintober) *Party Leader* 22 year old Human Rogue, lvl 8 Power: 14 (lvl 8 + WP: 6) Health: 14/14 Gold: 31 Equipment: Sexy (WP: 6, Rapier, Disregards SP, usable by Knights and Rogues) Inventory: Potion (4), Mead (2), Remedy (2), Venom (1), Smoke bomb (1), Telescope (1), Bedroll (1), Heirloom Dagger (WP:3), Map of Brendenton (1), Spider Coin (worth 1 gp) (1),Dagger (WP:4), Topaz, Fire Bomb (1), Wheelbarrow full of corpses, Scroll of Newtity

I just read that, and I could have sworn you were saying "Suck it, Nerd Nord!" ~Insectoid Aristocrat

"Hahaha. He's delusional. You do not have such power fiend. You may have a twisted soul and a twisted mind, but you can't twist everything." Order: Punii: Mix Jellies Alex: Tonic Aquos, BR Aquos: Lucky Chant, BR Sylph: Frail Rhodus, BR Johon: Scepter, BR Galen: Rhodus, BR Rome: Eidolon, BR Sylph: Heal Elgar, BR Elgar: Rhodus, BR Hal: Regret, BR

Well, there you have it. The Newt madness is over. Go back to your homes, and Flipz, get a room. Those of you who got transformed may receive little trinkets for being so sporting of it. Now we get back to all the serious, gritty, timed, melodramatic, Cloak-and-Daggery stuff. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

(OoC: Your luck is literally hysterical. Fortunately, you finally killed the bastard. And I was soOOooo close to turning you all into adorable little amphibians. But alas, it was not to be. I know you may not believe me, but I did not manipulate any of the rolls. You guys just have awesome luck. I may just switch to physical Dice now.) >Amorith vs. Skellie 2 Critical Hit (8*2=16+13=29*2=58 Light Damage KO) >Nessa vs. Rubix 6 Special Damage (d8 rolled: 5 Turn you into a Newt. Turned into a Newt.) >Karie vs. Rubix 2 Critical Hit 6*2+7=19*10%=2-3=0 Damage *Poisoned*.) >Drake vs. Rubix 2 Dritical Hit 5*2+8=18*10%=2-3=0 Damage *Poisoned*.) >Dreyrugr vs. Skellie Rubix 1 (Mug: 6*3=18+13=31-3=28 damage and 28 gold) At this point, the Party was fed up. They could only take so much ridiculousness. Amorith unleashed a massive blast of light magic on the new-comer, literally obliterating the undead. Meanwhile, Karie awkwardly crawled up Nessa's leg, up her front, onto her shoulder, over her face, and onto her head, dripping slime on her involuntary host the whole time. Nessa grumbled as she readied her bow. A dark swirling cloud formed above her. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Stated Nessa, thoroughly unpleased. The thing fell upon her, wrapping her in green-glowing mist. Karie fell... again... and the sound of clothes and wood and metal crashing to the ground could be heard as well. When the fog cleared, sitting upright on her hind legs, arms crossed, was the newly newted Nessa. "This is simply fantastic." She grumbled with bitter sarcasm, her voice high-pitched and difficult to take seriously. Karie and Drake scrambled up the legs of the monstrous mage. "Ah! What are you doing!?" He cried. Karie and Drake both bit him on his ear-lobes and hung on for dear life as he attempted to shake them off. "Let's end this." Stated Dreyrugr. He stabbed the mage in his gut, twisting to ensure the job was done. Warm human blood fell from the mage's mouth, dripping onto the floor before he fell, wordless, over. He was dead. Very, definitely, finally dead. His Golem, masterless, crumbled into cobblestone and boulders, the magic that had been holding it together, gone with the mad mage's defeat. Round 9 of My Big Fat Greek Undeading. Archmage Rubix Sixsquares "Bwahaha! If I can't beat you, I shall simply turn you all into harmless little Newts! Then I shall crush you and get on with my revenge!" Type: Humanoid, Dark Level: 15 HP: 3/150 SP: 3 Ether: 7/20 Specials: (Chosen by Dice Roll) Curses!: Target is Cursed (uses 1 ether) Raise Undead: A random undead joins the combat (Uses 3 ether) Turn you into a newt: Target is minimized, all attacks become (Bite, usable by anyone, non-ranged, WP=Current highest WP item, Poisoned), Effect lasts until remedied. (Uses 5 Ether) Take Tonic: Rubix regains 5 ether (uses Tonic ) (Usable only if 5 Ether has been used) Drops: Ethereal Cloak (SP +2, Max. Ether +4), Amethyst, Tonic Super Skeleton "Myaa!!" Type: Undead Level: 12 HP: 50/50 Special: Spooky Scary Skeleton: Target is dealt 6 damage, and stunned out of fear Drops: Phoenix Essence, Bone, potion Earth Golem "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..." Type: Earth Level: 10 HP: 164/200 SP: 5 Special: Smash: Deals 14 Earth Damage. Drops: Nothing Note: Crumbles when Rubix dies. A Single Toad "Ribbit!" Type: Aquatic, Beast Level: 1 HP: 10 SP: 5 Special: Croakomancy: Target is brought down to 1 HP. Drops: Potion Black Death "Oogy!" Type: Undead Level: 9 HP: 0/60 Special: Leech Life: Target loses 5 HP, and Black Death Gains 5 HP, regardless of row or SP Drops: Gloves of the Undead Assassin (For every enemy the wearer kills, it gains 5 HP, Usable by anyone, Handgear) Gangreen "Boogy!" Type: Undead Level: 8 HP: o Special: Fester: Target takes 8 damage and is poisoned. Drops: Venom Skelie in a Barrel "Do a Barrel Roll!" Type: Undead, Plant Level: 6 HP: 30 Special: Do a Barrel Roll: Target is confused and enraged. Drops: Nostrum, Bone Skeleton A *rattle* Type: Undead Level: 5 HP: 5 Special: Faced with the concept of mortality: Target is afraid for three rounds. Drops: Bone Skeleton B *rattle* Type: Undead Level: 5 HP: 5 Special: Faced with the concept of mortality: Target is afraid for three rounds. Drops: Bone Skeleton C *rattle* Type: Undead Level: 5 HP: 5 Special: Faced with the concept of mortality: Target is afraid for three rounds. Drops: Bone The Party Karie Alderflask (Played by Kintober) *Party Leader* *Newt* 22 year old Human Newt Rogue, lvl 7 Power: 2 Health: 2/2 Equipment: Bite (WP: 6, *Poisoned*) Nessa Anárion (herrJJ) 59 years old female elven Newt Ranger *Newt* Level 10 1/2 Power: 2 Defense: 1 Health: 2/2 Equipment: Bite (WP: 7 *Poisoned*) Drake Flamerobe *Newt* 25 year old male newt human Level 8 Knight Power: 2 Defense: 2 Health: 2/2 Equipment: Bite (WP:5 *Poisoned*) Dreyrugr (Vash the Stampede) 1000 year old Male Vampire Rogue Level 13 1/2 Power: 17 (Level 13+Weapon 6) Health: 18/19 (Rogue Base 7+ Level Bonus 12) Gold: 95 Equipment: Crow-Claw Dagger (WP: 6, 1/6 chance to stun enemy on successful attack), Psuedos Hood Inventory: Venom x2, Bedroll, Remedy, Grand Potionx1, Smelling Salts x3, Amethyst, Shuriken (WP:5), Mead, Net (if used in combat, 1/3 chance to slow enemy, 1/3 chance to be useless, 1/3 chance slow self, lasts 3 rounds, retrievable), Nostrum, Potion x2, Throwing Dagger (WP:3) Fauxthril Scythe (WP:5), The Heads (Quest Item) Amorith Marvelo (Played by legobodgers) Level 13 1/2 Mage Power: 21 (13+8+1) Health: 16/17 Ether: 9/17 SP: 6 Gold: 5 Equipment: Dual staff (WP: 8) damages 2 enemies in one hit, Crow-Cursed Cloak (SP: 6 Suitable for Mages or Rogues) Inventory: Fang Dagger (WP: 5), opal (ice), ruby (fire), garnet (earth), diamond (light), amethyst (darkness), 5 potions, 8 tonics, 4 remedies, 1 elixir, 3 nostrums, 3 mead, ice bomb, smoke bomb, shovel, bedroll, 3 bones, jo-no tree seed, Scroll of Blindness, Fire Bomb All Heroes gain a level The Party Karie Alderflask (Played by Kintober) *Party Leader* 22 year old Human Rogue, lvl 8 Power: 14 (lvl 8 + WP: 6) Health: 14/14 Gold: 31 Equipment: Sexy (WP: 6, Rapier, Disregards SP, usable by Knights and Rogues) Inventory: Potion (4), Mead (2), Remedy (2), Venom (1), Smoke bomb (1), Telescope (1), Bedroll (1), Heirloom Dagger (WP:3), Map of Brendenton (1), Spider Coin (worth 1 gp) (1),Dagger (WP:4), Topaz, Fire Bomb (1), Wheelbarrow full of corpses Nessa Anárion (herrJJ) 59 years old female elven Ranger Level 11 Power: 18 (Lvl. 11 + WP: 7) (20 vs. Werefolk) Defense: 1 Health: 17/17 Gold: 0 Equipment: Silver Crossbow with Raven-Slayer Bolts (WP 7 (+3 vs. werefolk (removable)), Leather Armour (SP: 1), Inventory: Smoke Bomb, Bedroll, Magic Compass, Venom, Mead, Potion x2, Croise Bow (WP: 6) (usable by Rangers), Smelling Salts Drake Flamerobe 25 year old male human Level 9 Knight Power: 14 Defense: 2 Health: 19/19 Ether: 0/0 Gold: 310 Equipment: Greatsword (WP:5), Shield (SP:2) Helmet Inventory: Torch(WP:3), Potion x2, Phoenix Essence, Tonic, Shovel, Bedroll, Mead, Smoke Bomb, Remedy, Fire Bomb Dreyrugr (Vash the Stampede) 1000 year old Male Vampire Rogue Level 14 Power: 18 (Level 14+Weapon 6) Health: 19/20 (Rogue Base 7+ Level Bonus 13) Gold: 95 Equipment: Crow-Claw Dagger (WP: 6, 1/6 chance to stun enemy on successful attack), Psuedos Hood Inventory: Venom x2, Bedroll, Remedy, Grand Potionx1, Smelling Salts x3, Amethyst, Shuriken (WP:5), Mead, Net (if used in combat, 1/3 chance to slow enemy, 1/3 chance to be useless, 1/3 chance slow self, lasts 3 rounds, retrievable), Nostrum, Potion x2, Throwing Dagger (WP:3) Fauxthril Scythe (WP:5), The Heads (Quest Item) Amorith Marvelo (Played by legobodgers) Level 14 Mage Power: 22 (14+8+1) Health: 17/18 Ether: 9/18 SP: 6 Gold: 5 Equipment: Dual staff (WP: 8) damages 2 enemies in one hit, Crow-Cursed Cloak (SP: 6 Suitable for Mages or Rogues) Inventory: Fang Dagger (WP: 5), opal (ice), ruby (fire), garnet (earth), diamond (light), amethyst (darkness), 5 potions, 8 tonics, 4 remedies, 1 elixir, 3 nostrums, 3 mead, ice bomb, smoke bomb, shovel, bedroll, 3 bones, jo-no tree seed, Scroll of Blindness, Fire Bomb Party Leader, Distribute the Loot! Ethereal Cloak (SP +2, Max. Ether +4), [Pics Probably Pending] Gloves of the Undead Assassin (For every enemy the wearer kills, it gains 5 HP, Usable by anyone, Handgear) Amethyst, Phoenix Essence, Nostrum, Tonic, Potion x2, Venom, Bone x5 The Party members stood around the defeated undeads, Karie, Drake, and Nessa, still slimy Newts. The three of them felt the magic effecting their bodies begin to fade. They would return to their previous forms, naked and covered in slime, in seconds. The rain poured down upon the five of them, beating their tired bodies. They had spent more than 5 minutes fighting the mad mage and his entourage, and still had a while to go before they made it to the harbour. I'll leave your re-transformation descriptions to you so that I don't get accused of being a creepy pervert.

Sylph takes the Red pill. And winning! I knew it! ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Exactly! And then we have to battle the Truly True Final Boss. And then we have to battle Endgame himself IRL. ~Insectoid Aristocrat

Alright, but it Sylph doesn't get a Glory Medal, he'll hold you personally accountable, for whatever that's worth. ~Insectoid Aristocrat