Hinckley

It's eligible, yes.

That being said, fleshing out the story has really helped. There's a lot more depth to it. It seems like you can re-visit the end of the story now as well. It ties up very neatly with Patrick promoted quickly to head knight and Wellington basically a stable boy. That doesn't ring with the rest of the story. I would imagine Patrick still needs to work on his sword work and Wellington's other positive attributes would be wasted, mucking the stalls. Perhaps it starts a friendship between Patrick and Wellington? What if the thieves killed Socar and someone needed to take over for him. Sorry, now I'm getting out of control. That may be a little much at this point in the story as none of the characters seem capable of replacing him as head knight. But, the story is much more clear and more three-dimensional than before. The ending and the character transformations could use the same treatments. This has been a great exercise for you. I think we should move the posts to the first lesson. I am glad you went back to the format of the first lesson before moving onto the next lesson.

This is not the format of the lesson I linked you to. Did you read the second lesson that I linked to in your last enrollment? Luckily, there's really no passing or failing these and they're only meant to get you writing more and unlock new ways of thinking. There's no right or wrong way to write, but there are consistencies in stories. That's what the lessons are about. Mostly, though, they're just ways to get you thinking differently and writing. A lot of times, my lessons are showing you what's been done before and why it works. Nobody has to work that way. It does help though, to know what "rule" you are breaking so that you can see every aspect of a story it will effect. However, as a student, to get the most out of what I'm trying to show you, you should read pay attention to what I'm asking you to do. You do not seem to be doing that.

Brickington, what are you reading??? What do you think I mean when I tell you to move on to the next lesson?

Yayz!

Here's my concern about the whole story in general: the characters are archetypal. They can be referred to as "stock characters" or characters that we see very often. I happen to like the archetypes you've chosen to focus on, but to make them seem less generic, we need to be able to identify with them. Right now, they are somewhat two-dimensional. Wellington seems like a wimp but he takes the horses out and shows bravery. Wellington seems brave but he turns out to be a coward. Granted your synopsis doesn't show the whole story, but even from the quick write-up I would consider giving the characters a little more depth and room to grow. When you continue the story, it's still telling the same story. Why does Socar not work with Wellington on his bravery? Does Patrick have any skills to learn? Sure, he is brave, but the wimpy stable boy probably needs to learn how to swing a sword and perhaps Socar has chosen Wellington, an excellent swordsman to teach him. There's dynamic between the characters you've created and the interesting parts of the story are where the reader can see that dynamic. I would like you to continue onto the next lesson. However, in finishing that lesson please consider the following: Your characters should have depth: example, let's see Patrick's weaknesses along with his bravery. Let's see how Socar treats the candidates for knighthood. Is he a good leader? Is he harsh? Is he confusing? Let's see Wellington's strengths before we see his cowardice. The characters should have an interesting dynamic between them: Example, Do Patrick and Wellington have any connection or does Wellington just bully Patrick? If he does, I would suggest putting in at least one moment of connection. How does the characters' depth and dynamic reflect the story's theme? Remember, that you have a solid theme and that every characters journey is a reflection of that theme. In fleshing out the characters and giving them more depth and dynamic, it should continue to strengthen the story's theme.

Brickington, I would suggest using your own photos to tell a story. That's the artistry of story-telling and what the contest is looking to celebrate. Props on the creative story.

Um...good question. I suppose, I would tell the story in the panels more. Combine the paragraphs and the pictures to make it more of a comic. The Penguin himself is pretty butchered, but that's your own custom, right?

Great job, lightningtiger. I really like the classic feel of this street. It has a unique signature to it, yet it stays true to the "classic" Town style. I especially love how you accomplished the garage door. I wonder how these would turn out if you relied less on the custom decals and tried to make signs out of LEGO elements or mosaics. For example, a mechanic sign could just be a wrench. Great work!

Thanks for having me, Bob. It was truly a pleasure. Thanks for hosting this intriguing game! Thanks to everyone else playing as well. Best of luck to all of you...well all of the Town.

No. Go for it.

It's FABULAND Month!! Season!! That's right! We're extending it until the end of March! Two whole months of FABULAND fun. So order those pieces and get building! Review a FABULAND set, FABULAND-ize your avatar! Tell a FABULAND story. Build a FABULAND boat. The staff are getting into it as well, so come play with us and enjoy a FABULAND Winter! FABULAND Your Avatar Contest - make a FABULAND avatar FABULAND Building Contest - build a new building or house for FABULAND 1st Annual GAL FABULAND Boat Contest - create a boat using FABULAND pieces FABULAND Vehicle Contest - create an original vehicle using FABULAND pieces FABULAND Story Contest- tell a story with a comic or film using FABULAND pieces and characters FABULAND Crossover Contest - mix FABULAND pieces with your favorite theme to create a unique MOC Check out the FABULAND Month topic for more info!

The day is over. Don't post!

That's pretty Scummy.

I think they say adieu.

I've had no time to catch up today. Swamped. Bad phone access. unvote: Mary (TheBoyWonder) vote: Pierre (CallMePie)

You had much more incentive to say you targeted Scott since you were caught doing so by a tracker. If that's the case though, then the result seeing part must be true or he would've come forward to bust you. If the tracker is real at all.

I just answered you. You yell at Bristol for voting for who she thinks is Scummy and then tell me to do it. Is Bristol supposed to vote with the group and I'm supposed to vote for who I think is the most Scummy? No, I'm making a point in sticking to my vote for Mary. You even quoted it and yet you ask again. I'm sarcastically sticking to a stupid vote. So many people are trying to distract us from actual discovery by suggesting I'm trying to save my Scum buddy Mary, so let's lynch her to get that theory out of the way and we can start pointing the finger at the people who are really trying to cause distractions. Mary may be Scum, anyway. Hell if I know. However, messing up her set number compared to the weird things we have two other people saying, two people who admit to targeting Scott, is not a big deal or a good reason to lynch her. One thing I thought Pierre should've done with his role is work with the Town. Barbara and Mary were highly suspected at the end of the day, by the group. So he should've tracked one of them to help the group decide who to lynch. Or at least to form his own vote today. That's my opinion. The group seems to want Mary dead so I'm playing along to show I'm not afraid to prove that I'm not defending her because we're both Scum. I'm not Scum, no matter what her affiliation is and I'm not afraid to lynch her to try and get that doubt out of people's heads. So, you all think that Barbara and Pierre are both telling the truth? Don't you think after all of the experience they've gained that they would've learn how to tell a good lie? They targeted Scott, but they admitted it, so they can't possibly be lying. What caused Barbara and Zangara to start talking in the first place, I wonder? Had Pierre talked to anybody else about his ability? People are way too quick to believe them both. I find it odd and disturbing. Are all the Scum active and the Town is not paying attention?

As long as everyone wants to vote for Mary who did nothing but get her own set number wrong, I'll stick with the group. I'm still sarcastically sticking to that vote since so many people seem to think my discovering if other candidates means we're Scum buddies and I'm defending her. Also, I'd still like to hear what Pierre says in response to what I just said. Also, Barbara has gone relatively quiet.

You're not the only one saying this. There's a lot lacking in Pierre's defense and a lot fueling my suspicion of him. Specifically lacking is any sort of Town talk. "Have you found anything?" "That's a weird claim from Barbara." or "Back off of Barbara. Her story could actually pan out to be true." "The tracker talking to Barbara is lying." "The other tracker could be telling the truth." At no point was there any "Why should I believe you're Town? You tricked me into revealing a Night Action. If you're Scum, etc etc." No, he pretty much works from the assumption that I'm Town. No qualms, no paranoia about my affiliation. That is odd. Where was the engaging game play before I revealed him? He had plenty of time to discuss my findings and other people's reactions. Let's go as far as to compare his lines from my play with the actual PMs, shall we? I paraphrase to the point where he actually revealed it. But, yes, it's calm and straightforward. He says he doesn't find me suspicious. Why doesn't he? Everybody else seems to. People have glossed over this, but why would my initial message scare the crap out of him? Getting caught tracking the dead player? Perhaps, but if it's completely innocent, why would you be so scared? I still think it's possible he was assuming I actually did have Cornelius watched and knew that he (Pierre) had targeted him (Scott). It's a convenient claim, tracker, at that point. A role that leaves no evidence but the target itself and no way to confirm the result. Here he gives the indication that he should track someone who seems like they have a night action, but not knowing he just "shoots in the dark" at Cornelius, a smart and usually proactive Town player. Now, he's changed his story that the role should be used to find someone he trusts to work with. So, at first, he couldn't see anyone that indicated they had a Night Action, meaning that's what he should do with his role and now it's best used to find someone to trust to work with. This is what seems so Scummy to me, especially with another tracker claim out there. He contradicts himself about how he's going to use his role, and then he contradicts himself about why he targeted Scott. Again, there's a flimsy reason and a weak and Scummy claim for targeting the man who is dead. Not to mention, his story about wanting to find someone to trust. Why? To work together? He says he doesn't find me suspicious but he doesn't work with me, really. Yes, he gives me short answers about his role and what he did on Night One, but there's not other "Town work" going on. His answers and defense, while calmly stated, are weak and Scummy and this is why I thought he was lying and presented it the way I did. Perhaps you all read it as something more severe, but I thought it was a pretty accurate representation. At the time, I considered Barbara the more likely to be lying. I don't trust either one of them, but I think it's somewhat short-sighted to dismiss any concerns about Pierre, based on how calm and level-headed his responses are. That's easy to do with 24 hours to prepare a defense. But look at the timing and the things he is saying and the contradictions and you may see that maybe we shouldn't be so apathetic towards him. Or maybe I'm wrong. Highly unlikely But possible.

Pierre, your assertion that you shouldn't target people whose be lynched is total megablocks. Why not target them to see if they do anything to support a lynch or support saving them from a lynch. Why just assume they'd be lynched? And both of them? Why assume you could only catch them doing something wrong. Yes, Pierre's response is rational but his Actions are still Scummy. And everything I said about him and our interactions is true.

There may be less than 24 hours but there's still plenty of time left. some people will be dead by the time they've had a chance to think about it.

I'm a reasonable guy...with an investigator and investigated advisor. Why wouldn't I have seen the truth in private? Why do you say your role is unfortunate? Tracker is only Scummy if you're targeting a strong player with no reason and there's another tracker claim out there. If I were you I'd be indignantly demanding the identity of the other tracker who sees results. If you're Town, why aren't you concerned about that? Why isn't anybody concerned about that? Shouldn't Barbara and her wacky tracker worthy of some scrutiny now on top of all the other weirdness? Not to mention, I don't mind dying to prove my point. And nobody seemed too perturbed that I wasn't revealing you. You seem more like you were sitting back waiting for the storm to pass rather than proactively trying to fight for the Town.

No. We continued talking after that and it was still light-hearted. Why so quick to back down? Refusing to "take the role on a silver platter" of neutral jewel thief doesn't seem like a positive alternative to Scum killer. Based on your lack of defense until now, I still think you're lying. It's not like you didn't have plenty of warning I was going to reveal you.