Hello hon', daddy an' mommy will pay attention to you soon enough. First we have to complah with Capt. Minnow's horrible yousurpation of daddy's power in this here podunk lil' town.
Some of y'alls been talkin' 'bout lynchin' Sheridan on that thar gallows, but stop an' think for a moment. If she's actually a townie, it's a setback to lynch her 'cause we'll be down a townie before we even started analyzin' stuff an' all. If she's actually scum, would she really be so gosh-darn silly as to point all the fingers at her? I know I been in this saloon drinkin' whiskey and wine all day (an' it sure is tasty) but I think we'd best leave her alone for the moment.
Let's talk 'bout people's reactions to her claim. But I sure want other people to talk too. My little gossip book says Connie, Liz, Zachary, Esther, Beatrice, Prudence, Tony and Kenneth ain't even woke up today yet.
Why's you think Sheridan and her daddy are both scummos? Don't y'all think it would be kinda dumb to come to such a weak defense of a fellow scummo so early in the day when defenses aren't even necessary? Now, I ain't gonna opine yet about Sheridan's daddy, because he seems to be a man of few words and I should like to see more of what he has to say, but I should think that sayin' we done caught two scum is jumpin' the Smith & Wesson (or is it the noose?).
My, my, my, look at the time! I gotta get home an' see mah child!