Hinckley

Your title is a direct quote from Rick that made me laugh.

Oh, Jesus. Aren't you going a little far? Although, I do love when men erect things for me.

Three wrong guesses. Aw, we'll have to vote you out instead now and let Mr. Conan live for another day.

Oooh. You pissed off God. Nope!

No. Two more guesses and we vote out someone random, but not me.

Oh, it's more fun if you guess. I'll give you three guesses and if you don't come up with it, we vote for someone else. It's OK, he'll be blocked for two night according to Little Bunny Foo Foo. Wouldn't that be fun to drag the game out for a silly reason like that?

What??? It actually happened! Little Bunny Foo Foo is not a liar after all! This is what happened: Little Bunny Foo Foo vs. The Big Bad Wolf by Harriet Clive God: And Beatrice had been resurrected as a vampire and was working with Team Werewolf. Beatrice: What the hell? Goldilocks: What the hell? Gojira: RAWR!!!! Poo: What the hell? Gary Coleman: What the hell? Gallagher: Hi everybody! Doot de doo. I explode. Harriet: Team Werewolf? What Team Werewolf? I thought they were all dead. Gojira: It's that damn ex-werewolf bodyguard! RAWR! Harriet: But we've seen him guarding us. God wouldn't allow anybody to have two night actions, would he? Mary Poppins: Actually, it's a big debate on mafiawiki about the last scum being given a kill/block. Harriet: But, is that standard here? Samuel Synclair: I had nine night action in Eurodina. Harriet: What the hell? Mary Poppins: Still a kill/protection role would be really weird. Little Bunny Foo Foo: Speaking of weird roles, I have a crazy one that's practically unbelievable. Harriet: All right, let's have Little Bunny Foo Foo block Person 1 and we'll see if God gave someone the ability to kill and protect for some messed up reason. We'll also see if Little Bunny Foo Foo's freakin' weird megablocks night action is real. Gojira: RAWR!!! Scene 2 Person 1: Hello Harriet. Who knows my true identity? Harriet: Um, Gojira and Goldilocks. Person 1: I wish Gary Coleman and Gallagher weren't so against me. I bet the sword killer kills one of them to make me look more guilty. Harriet: It's creepy having this conversation with you now that I know you're the killer. Person 1: What? Harriet: I love you. Person 1: Oh, that's what I thought you said. Harriet: It'd be funny if the sword killer killed Gary Coleman, because he's the bomb. That'd make them both explode. Gallagher is our investigator. He may investigate you tonight. I tried to get him to investigate Fiona but he's got a mind of his own. Person 1: Interesting... Let's have a roll in the hay! Harriet: Okay. (Aside) I can't resist the bad boys. Scene 3 Little Bunny Foo Foo: Harriet! My night action worked. Person 1 will be neutralized for the next two nights. Harriet: Next two nights? But not tonight. Nuts. Too bad we couldn't save Ebenezer Hewitt. He was a great guy. And if he is blocked, we won't get to see him and Gallagher explode. This is good news, but it's still annoying. Well, I guess it's good news for Gallagher. Scene 4 Harriet: It's possible Little Bunny Foo Foo is orchestrating the whole thing. She's probably the sword killer. She won't kill tonight so it looks like she was blocked and then we'll take out Person 1 and we'll be without our bodyguard and she'll take out the rest of us at night. Gojira: That's unlikely. Her lie would only get her another day before the survivors got her. RAWR! Harriet: I'm not going to expose too much. We'll need Person 1 in case there are still Rogues. We can still use his protection. Besides if I reveal any roles and there are Rogues left, they'll know who to go after. I wonder if the Rogues can convert or if they will take a night off of killing so we let our guards down. Goldilocks: You think way too much. God: The sword killer could not find his sword. Harriet: Well, Little Bunny Foo Foo could hardly make that up. Gojira: RAWR! Remember when you said if Person 1 was lying, you'd be insulted that he expected you to be stupid enough to fall for his story? Harriet: ... Yes ... Gojira: Are you feeling insulted. Harriet: Yes. (Curtain and thunderous applause) Well, it's between The Wolf and Little Bunny Foo Foo...who also seems to have God on her side. So, I know who I'll vote for in 23 and a half hours. Sorry, Wolfy. Thanks for all the protection ...and for killing our friends.

Oh dear. Am I already breaking my promise to God? Sluttiness is powerful.

Let's rub our cleavage together while we wait for the lynching!

It's probably because I'm such a slut. I promise got that I will keep my legs close if we are just all allowed to live through the rest of this ordeal, minus the last two people we kill, of course. By my caluclations, the sun will set in about two and a half hours.

Yes please. Flattery will get you everywhere Mr. Conana. I'll certainly need a replacement for Mr. Roland once we've lynched him. At least I know I won't be alone tonight.

Did Beatrice leave a nasty before we killed her? Gee, if we're all unanimous in killing Ruben, perhaps God will let the sun set early? Sometimes, I give God too hard of a time. I have a feeling he doesn't like me so much.

She's around. Cleavage or not, I trust her.

I remember that time fondly and it wouldn't effect my decision here. Instead I stalk your wife and talk to Gary Coleman to form an opinion here. (Not that your wife ever gave any indication that you were scummy. I'm just making fun of myself. But, you are a great friend and it's always hard to imagine there is anything Sinister about you. I believed you were on our side until that adorable black midget told use you were scum. I am sorry to see you go. Even more sorry if you turn out to be innocent. May God have mercy on us all. The real God, not the false idol they call Jim Butcher.

Vote: Ruben Rolands/Rufus This is true. Your findings even concur with the other findings from other night actions and I believe the results you've given me are accurate. However, when you first contacted me, you said you had been afraid to tell me about your night action because it was just like Benjamin's. This is quite true, it is exactly what Bob's action was and there was another similarity. Benjamin told me he had found Walter Knox out of bed. The next night, Walter Knox ended up murdered by a pickaxe. You told me you found Terrence out of bed and the next night Terrence was murdered. Perhaps the Rogues are able to track and kill. Or maybe one can track and one can kill and there's another Rogue out there after you. That's a lot to be up against... But, if you are found to be an innocent villager, I will be the first to cast my vote against Gary Coleman. But unfortunately, Gary's results on Benjamin led to a successful night killing and he found the same result with you, so we have no choice but to trust it. Sorry, dear. You will be greatly missed. Remember when we went on that picnic and you spilled applesauce in your underpants and I had to lick you clean? Your wife didn't understand that when she stumbled upon us? Remember the look on her face? What memories. Remember how she left you after that and came back the next night and tried to murder you with her pickaxe? Remember that night we spent in the asylum? When you screwed me? You screwed me really hard then. Oh, but I love you, Ruben. I really hope you are a rogue because it'd be shame to lose such an attractive man whose hung like a horse and fucks like a stallion. Pardon my French. It's really not very good.

Thank you. I agree. Finally, someone's being reasonable. That would make it near impossible to figure out who we are up against. I doubt God would do that to us...

Ariana, stop making so much sense! I have to go lay down.

No comment, God. What? When I said Ruben was a rogue, it was just the first thing that came to mind. He could be anything. He's not a villager, he doesn't have good intentions for the town. It was a Gary Coleman investigation so who knows what Captain Cuckoo Banana's result means. But, it's all we have left.

That's helpful. Zed's not God. Sounds like Zed would make a pretty shitty God. My opera wasn't a theory, it was a meltdown. Don't be jealous becuase I have a hotter rack. Because you've been so helpful? Maybe the bodyguard is actually a killer? That doesn't even make sense. No, but I suppose he's a pickaxe killer because...because... I don't know why I suppose that. I guess he could be either. Gary said he was a villager, so since Gary's been quite proven insane, it doesn't reallly mean anything. Why would God give a scummy two night actions? Does he hate us? Does he want the scum to cause double harm to us? Why would a scum protect one of us and kill another. Again, if God allowed that, I would never live one of God's lives again. How would we be able to figure that out? What confusing nonsense! I'm getting pissed off here...

What the hell are you talking about? How would we be outnumbered? We haven't seen any attacks! And how many people did you see come back with Beatrice? I saw none. So I doubt she brought any back with her. You're a nut sometimes. Nut!

But if there were no werewolves left he would still have to say it. That's what the role is on Mafiascum, which is a book Zed wrote or whatever. Although, the description of today's topic is a reminder that "Zed's dead." Not to mention a reference to Zed's Book, "Pulp Fiction" One of my favorite novels. Why does God not answer my PMs? I've sent several since the day started. No, it was Reginald, the town drunk, and he was always right.