Cutcobra

Heckz enters the Hinckwell Villa, with his pants on, after having gotten many half-disgusted half-weirdly-attracted looks from the guards. A couple of years from profiting from the other heroes' hard work during his quests have passed until the opportunity for greatness and fame arose to him in the form of two letters. One was an invitation to the Chateau Shadeaux, personally written to him by Count Shadeaux's uncle's friend's maid. The other was a letter inquiring him to join the Sungold Alliance, specially drafted for his eyes only by the use of an automatic-meaningless-invitation-sending charm from the Ziegfried Mansion. He visited the Shadeaux Mansion first, while he was still a sorcerer, since their colors really matched his outfit back then. As soon as he entered the dark building he was met by utterly horrifying and sickening beasts from Hel, at least in his mind, and three words that contradicted his very essence: 'Progress, Creation, Liberty'. Heckz ran out of the building as soon as possible, and he still gets shivers just by thinking about it. Now the great, shining gold halls of the villa fill his heart with the humble feelings of ambition, power and overall superiority to the other low-lives in Heroica Hall, so he immediately joins the Sungold Alliance without a second thought. The one thing that does bother him, though, is the supposed candidate for Eubric's king. He purposefully hides his Cloak of Blood Magic when he joins the discussion for the Alliance's options. Seeing as he was in the presence of many influential people, the harlot uses the most intelligent words at his disposal to prove his point after having thought of their options. "I most photosynthetically think that our house option may paradoxically alternate the minds of the dirty sc-, I mean, the good people of the hovels, in a good way. But they are fastidiously wasting our most teetotalating resources, for which we have to nidificate? All I am manufacturing, is that they are wasting our saxicolous reserves, deja vu. But the military perfidiousness, on the other extremity, may offer some most gasconading opportunities for us winebibblers since, bonjour, we can salarize them for little conviviality. Afterwards, they perambulate their remaining superintendent time in the Academy, where they will unequivocally not be eaten by bellwethers from the void, tête-à-tête?" He votes for Option 1.

Heckz enters the training room with only one thing in his mind. He approaches the Copper Fox, who was perfectly happy until the sorcerer came in. "I've bided my time and I've got the proper qualifications. Now I can't wait any longer." He brings out the pink book. "I need to learn the secrets of this book and master the power within it. Now, when do I start?" The Copper Fox abruptly takes the book from Heckz and mutters something along the lines of 'don't get payed enough'. After a long time spent on perfectioning Heckz's horrible seduction skills and forgetting his magical ones in return, it was time to pick an equally enticing outfit. He comes out of the fitting room with one of the best reasons for the Copper Fox to quit after having seen so much. "What do you think?" "I don't know... it needs a little mor-" "More this?" He tears his own pants off. "... please tell me you have more of those." "Don't worry I've got plenty of replacements." Heckz walks out the training room a Harlot. John 'Heckz' Brutenhal, the Ghostbuster, the Super Sleuth, the School Inspector and the Matchmaker (Cutcobra) 32 year old male human Harlot *Immune to Poisoned* *Immune to Free Hits unless last hero standing* *False* Level 30 Power: 42 (30+12) Defense: 2 Health: 37/37 (5+29+4) Ether: 46/46 (5+29+1+5+1+5) Gold: 2574 Equipment: Solemn Dagger (WP: 12, darkness-elemental dagger, 1/2 chance of causing sealed), Harlot's Outfit (SP: 2, immune to poisoned; suitable for Witches, Sorcerers and Harlots; bodywear/footwear), False Lips (Rolling Pleasure House and KISS AND MAKE UP causes poisoned by 5 in addition to other effects, suitable for harlots only, accessory.), Buffoon's Hat (Prevents anyone from taking the wearer seriously; protects from Free Hits unless the wearer is the last hero standing; headwear), Inventory: Weapons: Weatherfax Broom (WP:25, makes weather forecasts instant instead of being applied at the end of the round, broomstick), Rawr (WP:9, dagger), Wand (WP:5; suitable for mages, necromancers and scholars.), Bone Whip (WP:9, damages undead, whip), Assassin’s Crossbow (WP:4, each successful assassination increases WP by one permanently; suitable to assassins; crossbow), Torn Whip (WP: 7; Has a 1/2 chance of causing afraid on attacks; suitable for rogues, artisans, beast warriors, harlots, marauders and necromancers.) Artifacts: Cloak of Blood Magic (+5 ether, attacks made with darkness magic cause weakened; suitable for mages, necromancers and chi monks; bodywear), Magician's Gloves (Spellpower +10; suitable for mages; handwear), Venomari Helmet (SP:2, absorb poison as health; helmet), Bad Luck Charm (Makes the sorcerer’s spells - including Razzmatazz and Sleight of Hand - cause an additional jinxed-effect, increasing their ether cost by 1; suitable for sorcerers; accessory), Watt's Artifact (Makes the user’s attacks and spells three times more effective against demons; accessory), Robe Of The Archmagi (SP:3, Max. Ether + 5, immune to sealed; bodywear) Rich Man's Shirt (suitable for anyone, +5HP, +10 ether; bodywear), Rich man's trousers (suitable for anyone, immune to Jinxed and Bound; footwear) Spell Items: Opal (Ice), Garnet (Earth), Amethyst (Darkness), Aquamarine (Water) Consumables: 3x Remedy, 5x Mead, 3x Nostrum, 4x Smelling Salt, 2x Tonic, 2x Phoenix Essence, Danab's Apple (Revives all fallen party members, restores full health and ether to the whole party and removes all negative effects from them; consumable), Soma, Poison Bomb, Seal Bomb, Smoke Bomb, 2x Deadly Venom, 7 Bones, Forbidden Apple (has a half chance of causing blinded or transcended to the user), Tools, etc: Bedroll, Shovel, Pickaxe, Magnifying Glass, Telescope, Magic Compass, Blue Jelly, "Fifty Shades of Bley" (Grants access to Harlot), "Begone With the Winds" (Grants access to Weather Mage), Black Market Insignia (Allows the owner to seek out a black market dealer from any city they visit on a quest, as decided by the QM.), Vindicator's Seal (Grants access to the Vindicator expert job class; cannot be given away)

Could someone help me with editing a photo so it's avatar viable (100x100)? I'm not that good with pictures.

That feeling when there are new faction events and you realize that you are actually level 30 so you can be a Harlot now.

Now that there will be a change in Heroica Masters (Sorry to see you go, Sandy! Best of luck in your future projects), are we going to do something about the three factions? In their respective threads, it says they will have certain "events exclusive to that faction's members": Will we still see something like that.

I've got a question about the Burning Pilgrim: Can he tame Skrall?

Heckz is outright baffled by the barbarian's reaction. Most of the time, idiots would wrongly call him an idiot instead. Heckz seems to calm down and chugs down his whole glass. "Just... leave me alone."

Torald clearly bruised Heckz and as a result the barbarian received a very enraged glare. "You idiot! How dare you even graze my highly-expensive leather jacket! You may have even bruised my skin! MY SKIN! I don't know if you even learned manners in your little tribe, Albert, but where I come from we show respect to people that are worth more than us." He then raises his voice even more. "As a matter of fact, respect for me is exactly what has been missing in this dreadful hall."

The overall toxicity in the room raises as Heckz theatrically opens the doors and looks for an empty table. As every newbie, rookie or all around person that is lesser than him has taken up every table already, he decides to sit at the bar. "Wine. And, if possible, I don't want any diseases seeing as you haven't cleaned your hands in ages." Scheherazade glares at him and spits in his drink while he isn't looking. He takes out his Fifty Shades of Bley and reads it thoroughly, hoping to distract himself of the painful noise that the 'Too Much Makeup' girl (he forgot her name) was producing.

Instead of leaving from it, Heckz stays in the tavern to possibly 'hook up' with a woman himself and to not have to endure holding a conversation with one of his fellow 'quest mates'.

Heckz seems to wake up from a trance. "You idiot! You actually think I don't have the ability to silently judge your 'girl''s dull, outmoded sand drape that she calls a dress?" He rolls his eyes and addresses Simon. "Just get this over with, Tobias. I need my beauty sleep."

Oh, shut up, Matthias.

"If it gets me to look like you, I'll pass." Heckz subtly checks out the girl's chest.

Heckz throws Torald a dangerous glare. "Clearly, I was about to say that until you interrupted me." He then listens to the man, pretending that he cares. "Bah, that's child' play. Clearly, you aren't versed in the study of magic, Mister Freak." He says, now pretending to have legitimately attained his arcane powers. "They have to be aligned in a five pointed star, boo. We mages always use complicated symbols like these that you couldn't possibly comprehend... I think." Heckz proceeded to conjure a pentagram made out of pure darkness to demonstrate what he meant. He then quickly makes it disappear.

That sad feeling of only being recognized by your character's name.

OoC: Can i send one of you guys the answer per PM? It doesn't make sense, roleplaywise, for Heckz to say it.

Heckz poisonously glared at Quintessa when she solved the riddle before him. He then had a smug look on his face instead. "Please, the second one is trivial. It's obvious that we don't have to do anything since the guy with the jacked up teeth didn't really specify what he wanted us to do after we looked into the box. Next!"

Sorry I'm late to the party, but I just read this now and I always like joining a late party. Heckz' biggest fear is growing old. This fear is just a sum of all his current fears, which would be his beauty fading away, becoming irrelevant, wasting his life as a mercenary and ultimately dying. I like to roleplay that the reason I never update Heckz' age is because he himself doesn't want to face the fact that each year his youth fades away. This actually makes me think that I should implement this subject more into Heckz' current story.

Heckz had to actually laugh when the disciple opened his mouth once again. Heckz couldn't stop cackling. When he did catch his breath, though, he felt Simon's confused, miserable look upon him. "Oh, did you say something? Just join and get on with it. I need my beauty sleep, you know."

Heckz entirely ignored the word 'Azazot'. Instead, he was focused on the man's boring sense of style and jacked up teeth, forcing a chuckle out of the sorcerer.

Heckz laughs at what Quintessa said. "Well, I suggest we knock the door down and tell them to make Mister...ummm...Thomas? Yes, they should turn Mister Thomas into a member. I'd break the lock myself but, well, these boots were made for walking." He points at his boots.

Heckz laughs at the man along with the crowd, but then, the black hooded man got his attention. "Yeah, speaking of which, if this even costs me half a coin I'll make sure your corpse is lying around with those other muscled idiots."

Heckz ignores the other heroes and immediately goes to the man dressed so glamorously. "Your outfit. Now." He could barely keep up the smile.

Why are Mephisto, Marilith and Abraxas all badass af but then we've got archdemons like Naamah who are basically just minifigures.

Heckz shanks Cleaner 1 with the Ground-up Glass.