JackJonespaw

Thanks for having me!

I'll try my best, buddy. I'm not sure if my wallet can take it, though.

Nay, not much use a vote should be. I do share the suspicion of Glanred with Sir Orann, there's something that seems a bit dodgy there in his voting actions, which, of course, does not automatically condemn him as scum, but I do believe that it might be beneficial to look into. No one else exactly sticks out to me, today has mainly seemed like speculation, then waiting, then a pile-up upon my mustachioed body...hopefully tomorrow you shall find those assassins...

I'm not sure where you're coming from with this "dangerous" thing. I haven't exactly done anything dangerous, other than my lying to you, which, really, I'm not sure what else I would have done. It's not like I would have claimed neutral.

Sure, why not take me out now, instead of focusing on the ones who are actually 100% enemies of the town? My question is - really, as I have no role, what possible harm could I cause to the town? The answer - nothing. Kind of an obvious answer. If you doubt the fact that I have no role - explain the lack of killing. Sure, it would make sense that there should/would be at least 2 kills per night, what with a vig kill and a scum kill, but you really think that I would have the power to kill in this tightly-knit of a game? Preposterous. Lynch me if you wish, but when one of you gets killed in the night because of a scum that you might have lynched instead, don't come a bawling to my corpse. I will hold true - if you lynch me today, you are making a grave mistake for the town. As for this lie that the Sergeant is so passionate about - I did claim town to him, aye. I see it as this - aligned with town, I am town. Aligned with scum, vice versa. Who I ally with is totally up to me, and I chose the town. Perhaps that was a mistake, but I was hoping it was not. It does not seem as though the Sergeant took it so gently.

That actually might be the problem. I've been doing it all my life, though, and nail clippers make me uncomfortable, so I guess that's just how it's gonna have to be.

Aye, lad, what is your reasoning for putting Berdam even with Glanred?

I have read in a tome up in the library that on occasion night actions could be handled in a first-come-first-serve ranking, versus the normal ranking. It might be something like that, but it's doubtful.

Thanks for all your comments! I took them all and put them in my special comment box that totally exists.

Somehow, I simply cannot see there not being a vig present at all here ever. It wouldn't make much sense - to me, at least - since basically you would have a rogue killer. It would be interesting, but I don't think it would be smart. Of course, only the vig/SK really knows. Based on the 1-kill-a-night pattern we're seeing, could it be that the scum don't have a kill ability? I can't see them being that underpowered... Another possibility I am pondering is that Alanna herself was the killer, but was killed by the vig/SK before her action could be completed...could that work, do you all think, lads?

- A Review - Subtitled: “Left-Hand” Mountains again...I find them calming, of course, as they are what I have always found Lego blocks to be - constant, durable...long-lasting, and always there for me to look at, whenever I need to. Does that make sense to you? I doubt it, it doesn’t make sense to me, and I’m fairly certain that it’s not true, but I keep having to think of mountain-y ways to start reviews. There’s just something about Lego and mountains that fits in a weird way. Regardless, my children, today I will be reviewing a little (it’s not little) set called the “Brick Bank”. Now, for your pleasure, I will put that down below in bold letters in a list so that it seems more official than just putting it in quotes. English syntax is odd. Name: Brick Bank. I switched the first letters of the words around, but you can’t tell. Social Security Number: 10251 Theme: Creator! Year: 2016 Little Guys: 5 Pieces: So many. So so many. (2380) Price: £119.99 / $169.99 / 149.99€ More Information Inside Here! Welcome to the main picture! As you see before your eyes, this is the Lego set Brick Bank, so I assure you that I wasn’t lying to you. Put your pitchforks down, please, and let us move backwards in tiiiiimmmmeeee….. - Brick Bank Review - Chapter 1 Sleep Deprivation It’s a Tuesday. Or was it a Monday? I think it was a Monday, actually. Point is, I got this set, glistening in that shiny Lego cardboard in the early dawn sunlight (it was actually mid-afternoon). Now, the box is truly something marvelous. The first thing that became apparent was just how heavy the bloody thing was. It weighed a good...a lot, really. A lot of grams, or kilograms, I don’t know. The second thing I noticed what how large it was. Down here in JackJonespaw Town, we don’t get a lot of larger Lego sets, so it came as quite a surprise to little old me. If you’re interested in getting this set, be warned, my friends. You’re in for a workout! Now, about the box, we get an absolutely gorgeous picture of the bank was the main image. I couldn’t take a picture that looks nearly this good. The most exciting thing was that little Expert thing in the top right corner. You know what that means? It means we’re in for some advanced stuff here, folks. The back of the box, eh? Yea, it is. Not sure why I typed out a question there. I need to start assuming that you readers have some intelligence. Now, Mr. Back-of-the-Lego-Box-Designer is quite clever with the main image on the back here. See the way that it not only shows the Brick Bank, but also two others sets? Advertising there, folks. Now that I’ve actually build the set, it’s very...lonely. I feel like I need more of these modular buildings in my collection to build a nice little town square. Aside from that large picture, there are also 16, yea, 16 other pictures, showing off different locations and features of the set. You got a bowl of...some kind of food ready? Because we’ve got a long review ahead of us. That’s right - you’re going to see each and every corner of every feature of this set. And in a creative way so it doesn’t get boring. But you don’t get to do that yet, we have other business to attend to first. Box sides, box sides, sox bides! One side - minifigures and things that they can hold! Wow! Next...uh, next side - picture and words! Okay...next side! Pretty much the same thing, really. Last side, literally every piece in the set. Good lord, that’s a lot of pieces. Oh boy God sweet Christ Lord. And every single piece is going to be in my greasy hands at one point. That’s 2380 pieces that won’t be the same. Now, shall we take a peek at our instruction manual? What’s that, you think we should? Brilliant, I completely agree. The thing is quite hefty, but it’s quite expected, as it seems that each page can only hold a single step on it, thus there are almost as many pages here as there are steps! Which, trust me, that’s a lot of pages. Otherwise, same picture on this thing as on the box. On the back we get a little graphic of WIN-man, super-human and coffee drinker. I wonder - has anyone here actually ever entered that? Because if...no one has...then that’s a larger chance for me to win! So, pop this baby open to Page 41 (my favorite number, coincidentally), and you get to see what I stared at for the 1942 hours I spent building this thing - instructions! A proper blue background, providing a decent contrast with the set. The colors, as they have been for the past many years, are quite clear and there’s little confusion over which color the piece is. Let me break something to you - on average, each step for this set uses around 15 bricks, which can range anywhere from, like, 2, to, like a billion, in the case of little 1x1 tiles. As such, things get an awful lot confusing. Luckily, Herr Lego highlights those bricks that are added in each step, which, by the case around Bag 3, where you’re adding miniscule little details in and around the pre-existing structure, is very helpful. On the right side of this picture, you see the other helpful thing here - the metallic-type pieces, like pearl gold, or pearl silver, those kinds of pieces, are shown in the instructions here with a little glint. It’s very helpful, because that dark metallic grey looks exactly like the normal dark grey in the instructions. Shall we begin the build? Now, as I’ve stated multiple times, and as my now-present grey hairs will attest to, this set takes a lot out of you, and is very very strenous to build. Like, marathon strenous. You’re gonna want some bread and some water, if you ask me. Or something a bit more...fancy? You want food, and you want drink. Around Bag 3, you may substitute water for whiskey, if you so desire. You’ll need it. So, the build starts with this innocently large 32 x 32 plate. Each picture represents about 30 or so minutes of building, so I’ll be keeping a nice little timer in the corner of the pictures. I know, I know, you’re thinking “wow, that doesn’t seem like 30 minutes worth of work”. But you’re wrong, it was. There are a good 200 tiles in this picture alone. Keep in mind that a 32 x 32 plate has a grand total of 1,024 studs on it. And about 9/10 of those are covered in tiles, or about 922 studs. Just keep that in mind when you scoff me for my time-keeping. We’re a full hour in at this point, and we’ve built a few nice little walls here, added some flowers, you know, the works. It’s simple structural stuff before we add the little details. We add a little more here, bulk up the walls, add some stairs, lose a bit more hair, and start the second podcast I listened to that night. I hope you all are beginning to notice the drop in picture quality as I slowly began to decrease in mental awareness of where exactly I was. This wraps up Bag 1 for us, at a grand total of two hours. If you were me, your back, eyes, and head would be hurting severely at this point, but you’d realize that you’re only one fourth of the way in. We must soldier through, boys! Here is Bag 2. When I opened the first bag (being Bag 1), I had a little bit of structure. You know, sifting out the bricks, organizing a little bit. Thus I had a pretty large spread on my “studio” (more like...sh*tudio) and I refrained from taking a picture, because, you know, lack of white space, you could see the gaps in my “studio”, etc. Not so in Bag 2. Very subtle black spots were beginning to dance around my vision, so I just dumped it all out, snapped a picture, and kept on building. And you, my dear reader/transcriber for the blind, you will keep on reading. ‘Tis naught a simple request, but a plead. Look at that, right? A definite increase in bulk here. We now have all four walls, with some insanely intricate design. I believe there were 42 little pieces in a single step - 6 of those little rectangles per pillar, times 7 pillars. Whoo. Speaking of intricacy, may I present you with the stained glass windows! Sorry, I tried to spice that up and make it sound exciting, but it was just a bunch of translucent 1x1 plates stacked on top of each other. Still, it looks nice. In a nice little change of pace, I got to put (let it collapse from my now-trembling fingers) the set down and build this tiny little washer. I love this thing. I’ll go into it later, but it has so many little features in this one structure. It was very fun to build, I will say that. Thus, we wrap up Bag 2, and about 95% of the first floor. There’s just that missing gap in the wall you see there, but, hey, maybe that’s just supposed to be there, eh? Who are you to judge? Bag 3. You see individual pieces, I saw something a bit more like this - Yea, I know, sleep deprivation. Let me set up a time frame for you. First, I’d been out of the house for about 12 hours, I came home, swallowed a bit of supper, then worked on this set. If each build picture is roughly 30 minutes, that means I’d been building for around 4 hours at this point. I.E. very late. I believe in layman’s terms this is known as an “unhealthy relationship” that I have with Lego. Now we see a little bit of the floor plan for this second story. As fancy as the ground floor is, the first floor just falls a bit flat, in my opinion, focusing more on the outside design than on the design of the inside. Which is disappointing after the extremely numerous play-features in the ground floor. Add some walls, put up that old fireplace, try to find some Red Bull or something - more progress! And then we throw up pillars and some brown and, like the wings of a magical unicorn, which, I know what you’re thinking - don’t I just mean a pegasus? The answer is no. Here’s why: I found out that there’s some way to grow a human ear on a mouse, and after I knew that my faith in the world and biology in general was kind of shaken. If that’s possible, what isn’t? Why couldn’t we grow a horn onto a horse? And why stop there? Once we’ve genetically engineered that mythical creature, we could somehow grow bird’s wings onto our original horse-turned-unicorn. But, as those wings are just, you know, placeholders, like how the mouse-ear doesn’t actually hear for the mouse, the unicorn with wings actually isn’t a pegasus, it’s just...well...a unicorn with wings. Or, I suppose, a horse with a horn and wings. Up to you. Now, where was I...Lego? Oh yea, there’s also this cute lil’ clock in the final pieces of the Bag. It’s pretty cool, I guess. Not much to say. That unicorn spiel took it out of me. Bag the Fourth! I couldn’t see so well at this point, and I’m pretty sure I saw more black dots than...not black dots. From now on I will just be shouting out what’s in each build. White! Chandelier! A bit of black on the corner there, do you see it?! Um….more...white! Some green?! Weird structure on the right with black and dark brown! I don’t get it! Oh wait we’re done. That was quite speedy when I don’t have to think of unicorn-y jokes to write. (Get it?! I really did laugh at that one, I promise.) The roof (pronounced ruf) has a lot of decoration and stuff. Curved window thingy in the middle, see it? I see it. At the time, I couldn’t see much, though. And also extra pieces. I will not be counting out how many of these there are. There are a bloody damn lot. - Brick Bank Review - Chapter 2 Weightless Aye, here is our completed structure, all three floor placed on top of one each other to make...well...heh...the Brick Bank! This is a seriously impressive structure, all kidding aside. It’s nice and tall, bulky, but not overly so, and with the right amount of details and flat parts to make it seem like a pretty realistic building. It’s really just like all the modular buildings, which I can sum up with one word - impressive. I know I already used that word in this paragraph, and you never want to use the same adjective in one description, but, hey, let’s make an exception just this one time, eh, lads? So if you turn the set around 180o (that’s Celsius, not Fahrenheit), the set gets a lot less...impressive. I gotta stop using that word. Anyway, I’m not so sure if the back of these sets are really supposed to be shown off, since it’s just a collection of different colored rectangles. My guess is that these walls aren’t meant to be present, since you’re supposed to connected this set with another Modular BuildingTM. Which...I’m poor, so that’s not really going to work out. Maybe I can just hide these back walls with a sheet or something. Oh, yea, you’re probably wondering why I titled this Chapter “Weightless”, right? Well, I was going to weigh this set and compare it to a goose egg, as I oft do, as we all do, I’m sure. Point is - I wanted to. So I bought the set to the scale, and I’d figure it’d weigh a nice hefty bit, being as big as it is, maybe like 1.5 kg. Not enough to do bicep curls with, but more than the empty shell of a goose egg. And...it didn’t show any change from the 0.0 displayed. So, I guess it’s just weightless and I’m really weak in my arms for thinking that it has weight. Here, see the roof. It’s actually pretty empty, which, I guess make sense in terms of how roofs actually are, but it’s still a tad disappointing. It seems to me like they put most of the effort into making the ground floor look as fantastically detailed as possible, and use up about 4/5th of their total parts quota for the set. If you’re looking at the entire set, though, the baldness of the roof isn’t so noticeable. The first floor has some nice windows here - which. of course, you’re going to see if you actually look at the set. I’m not quite sure why I’m typing out these circular statements, but it must have something to do with...something, I guess. Point is, there is some green windows, some glass panels, and a bunch of white bricks, which of course, in my setup, come off slightly yellowed. That’s the price you pay, folks. Cruel realities. There are a total of two buildings in this one...building. Or at least two businesses. The first, main one being, of course, the Brick Bank itself. But off to the side is a tiny lil’ laundromat, called Soap ‘n’ Suds. A nice name for a nice place. It’s a very quaint space, and there’s not much there, but the window has some nice printing. I don’t think I mentioned this, but there isn’t a single sticker in this whole set. Every piece with a design on it is printed. Which, thankfully, is very good. There are a lot of pieces here that would require stickers otherwise, like that window on the left. There are four of those suckers on this set, and there’s no way I could align a sticker just right four times. Now, there are three different pieces, or floors, to this set - and they’re held together by these. A grand total of six studs, two on each back corner, and two in the front middle. It’s not really as secure as you’d think, especially if you want to hang the Brick Bank upside down from your ceiling, or attach it to the ceiling fan and see if it will fall and hit your cat. Aside from printed parts, Brick Bank has some very nice features - good parts usage in all of these designs, except, really, the frog piece, since it’s just put on top of one stud. Not sure why I included it in this picture, but there it is, folks. Other nice features include this shield on the roof, which can be pulled off for easy access if a medieval army invades the bank and you’re in a pinch, as well as this little man statue and the wings, which could be, and I don’t want to predict too much, but I feel like this has something to do with the unicorn-with-wings I talked about earlier. And from both doorways of the building, you can see their interiors. Beautiful, ain’t it? Hm? Oh, the set, yea. I was looking out my window - it just started raining gently, and it’s sunset, so there’s a nice cool orange in the sky. That’s really what I was talking about more than whatever this is. Which, I suppose, is alright. And here are our little figures! We get five of them in this set, each one with a happy, plastic-y Lego face. First up we have...suit guy and vest guy. Mostly these guys are nice because of their multiple uses throughout whatever you may need in your future building. They’re more like addons to the set than vice versa, which is a happy change after seeing so many Star Wars sets have that...disease. And here are the other three figures - blonde, brunette, and ginger. Good pieces here, not good usage for any jokes that I can think of. The set also comes with...accessories! Woo! I’m talkin’ ladder, I’m talkin’ broom, I’m talkin’...rope? And check? Oh. By the way, the check is for 500 studs. Now, that would make sense to be 500 bills, whatever currency that translates to, right? But, think about it...there are Lego bills, the 1x2 green printed tiles. Those aren’t studs. Studs are more like the 1x1 round plates that populate the Lego games. Which, if each 1x2 tile is equal to $1, basing this off American culture, then each stud would be a 100th of that, or 1 cent, right? That’s what would make sense to me. Which, in this case, would mean that the check is for a grand total of $5. Really incredible check there. Now, as I’ve been saying, there are a lot of play features in this set. And just taking pictures and trying to make jokes about them is getting a bit tired, so I think I’ll switch it up a bit. - Brick Bank Review - Chapter 3 Washing Machines Lean back, ladies and gentlemen, and let the classic black-and-white of old Noir films take you back. Maybe even turn on some music… I present to you….Washing Machines. 1935, New York City, America. At the corner of Sixth Avenue and Main Street, the Bank, Upstairs Room - The Office of Thomas Sawyer, coincidentally, my office, as I am Thomas Sawyer. The following account is what I wrote following the famous 1935 Bank/Washing Machine Incident of 1935, in which I was serendipitously and religiously involved in. Henry walked into the office, looking, as usual, flustered, but, if I were a more clever man, I would say he was looking more flustered than usual. Was that sentence contradictory? Possibly, but backspace doesn’t exist in 1935, and I’m writing this with a typewriter, which did exist back then...I mean, back...now. As I was saying - Henry. He came in. He sat down on the chair opposite my desk - a chair I always reserved for the clients, not Henry. Henry knew that his place was far from my office, as he was known to be a bit gaseous. Indeed, as he sat down, my eyes began to water as loud flatulence filled the room. I cursed in my stereotypical 1935 New Yorker accent, then looked at Henry. “What do you want, Henry?” Henry let off another flatulent, and then looked at me. “The dame downstairs in the bank...she’s saying money’s getting stolen.” My eyes lit up. Not only was Miss Helen from downstairs beautiful and single, and Henry was handing me an opportunity to help her and, hopefully, make her fall for me, but the whole reason I had even created an office above a bank was to stop bank robberies. It had taken four years, but this was finally my chance. I rushed downstairs, along with Henry, who mostly just stumbled down, and, pushing past nobodies who I don’t even remember at this point, I found myself looking into the eyes of Miss Helen. Her eyes were very similar to my own, and Henry. I figured it must be something about the buildings around here that made everyone’s eyes look similar, but I could figure that out later. Miss Helen...who, now, writing this later, I realize I should have made some connection with Helen of Troy, but, like I said, no backspace button on my legitimate typewriter keyboard, so I’ll just leave that in...she said that she had gone inside the vault earlier this morning and noticed that - alas! - precious jewels were missing. Along with all the money, and the gold, and the silver. She listed each thing off, and I made sure to pretend to write it all down so I seemed like a good detective. I turned to Henry. “We’ve got ourselves a mystery, Henry!” Henry nodded, “I know, I’ve been right next to you this whole time.” I smacked his head angrily and told him to pipe down, and then headed upstairs to Henry’s “office”, which was really not more than a desk in a corner, but it made him feel important, so I let him keep it. I turned to my man-servant Henry and we talked it over - whoever this robber was, they had to be good...they successfully made it past me! And Henry, I suppose. What we needed was a way to catch them...and I think I had a perfect plan. We ran back downstairs and outside onto the street, where we stopped on a bench and at lunch. It’s not relevant to the story, but I had to show off the features of the set. As I ate my lunch, I pointed at the clock and dared Henry to change the time. He did it. What silly detective fun we have! Henry fell off the ladder and some blood splurted out of him, so I cleaned it up while he laid down. After our lunch-time adventures, we stopped in at the laundromat. I poked around while Henry distracted everyone by taking his shirt off and dancing around. I found that, for some reason, the rightmost washing machines were connected to the bank vault. I saw absolutely no benefit to this at all, because if anyone put in clothes they would end up inside the bank vault. I chalked it up to the Irish Potato Famine and we left, a new plan rapidly forming in my mind. Outside, I stopped a girl I had seen while Henry had laid on the floor bleeding. She had won a check, and a photographer was taking her picture. I pulled the two of them aside and asked for the check, telling her she would be more than compensated for it later. The silly girl agreed, and Henry and I headed towards the vault. Using my brilliant detective skills, I tied a rope to the check and strung it through the washing machine. That way, if the rope was tugged later by someone touching it, if Henry and I were in the laundromat, we would know. I told Helen of Troy to not touch the check, and she graciously agreed. I almost touched her hand reassuringly! I was so excited. I had a few more hours before the bank closed, so I went back to my office, and Henry to his, and I stared at the diamond chandelier that hung in front of my office. I also went on the roof and looked out over the city as the sunset, so that the frame could take in the little pulley system on the bottom of the picture, and the ceiling window thing that I was standing by. - Later that Night - Henry and I, in full sleuthing gear, i.e. our same clothes, stayed in the laundromat through the night. Eventually, around midnight, the rope was pulled, and Henry and I jumped up with a start and rushed out of there. Silently, but still with a bit of flatulence, we made our way up to the roof and waited. We could see a rope tied to the roof leading down the chimney...which would lead, through my office and...into the vault! ckr We stayed silent as we could hear someone slowly making their way back up the chimney. The moment their head popped out, I grabbed them and pulled them up. They were wearing a mask and a weird hat...who was it! Meanwhile, Henry had fallen down the chimney...through the fireplace...and into the vault! Features, wow! I took off the hat and mask, and it turned out that it was...the photographer from before! Wow! In total there were only about five of us, so I guess it was either her or the girl with the check, so it made sense in the end. Does this ending seem rushed? Well, I cannot say if it was or not, because it actually really happened in real life in 1935. And so, the famous 1935 Bank/Washing Machine Incident of 1935 ended, and barely anyone remembered...forever… - Brick Bank Review - Chapter 4 Graduation Man, that was some story, huh? Somehow I managed to have less pictures in this review than I had in the much smaller Takodana review. Which I guess I could just chalk up to working on it for a full month, versus building, shooting, and writing this review in just a week. Eh, who knows. Welp, let’s close this baby out, and get some final ratings, which as everyone should know by now, is my favorite part of the review. Overall, this set brought me two things - exhaustion of building, which actually wasn’t its fault, and enjoyment. Seriously, I really like building this thing. All of the features are very well implemented, everything fits together real nice, and the detail is absolutely astounding. A few marks off for the seeming decrease in detail in the later bags, especially the roof portion, but I suppose that would only raise the price and pieces too much. Still, put together, looking at it from a front-view, it looks really impressive, and I will gladly display this until it gathers a bunch of dust in 1-2 weeks, in which case I’ll probably attempt to dust it off before giving up and letting the dust win. So, in representation of everything I stand for, I award this set a 37/100, which, as I’ve stated multiple times, really has no hold on this review at all. If you like it, go out and grab it. If you don’t, don’t. The end. Thanks to TLG for providing this set for me! I love their products, so this is a great opportunity! Really, the end. Go to bed.

I have the 4501 Mos Eisley Cantina from 2004. That was just around when I watched Star Wars for the first time, so to get Luke, Han, and Ben in one set was incredible. Nowadays, of course, I realize the rarity of Greedo. I know a lot of people have the opinion that that set sucks, but I really like it for some reason. Probably just nostalgia.

"However, his character isn't dead and may return later (like mostlytechnic and CMP's characters in Second Crash Mafia." Sounds like someone's assuming something.

Well, that's jolly good, then, Woodcutter Glanred, and it makes a good deal of sense to me. Personally, I think I shall be holding off on voting today. No one out here is particularily standing out to me today, as of right now. But, hark! The day is far from past!

Sounds about right. One time I forgot to open the window, though.

Lor San Tekka, I believe. Or as everyone around me likes to call him - "That old guy"

On average, a full goose egg weighs around 144 grams. Now, an empty common egg shell, i.e. one belonging to a chicken, on average weighs around 5.5 grams, as there are no studies I could find looking at the weight of an empty goose shell. However, we are able to calculate it quite easily with a nice proportion. If you'll look below: 144 g (full goose egg)/54 g (average chicken egg) = x g (our variable - empty goose egg shell)/5.5 g (empty chicken egg shell) So, cross multiply, and you get 54*x = 144*5.5 Divide the 54 across, and you get (144*5.5)/54 = x, which is equal to 14.6667 g, thus the approximate weight of an empty goose egg shell.

Less than a ripe goose egg but more than the empty shell of one.

- A Review - Subtitled: “Amok with Spoilers” You know, in preparation for Star Wars Episode 7, I rewatched every Star Wars movie. Except The Clone Wars, because, I mean, it’s just not relevant to me. After spending three days watching all six movies, and then the seventh one twice in a row, constantly just shoving endless Star Wars characters, planets, history, lightsabers, flat acting, etc. down my throat, I realized something. It was time for a break from Star Wars. So took a break I did. And for two and a half thousand years, Star Wars passed out of all my knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared another bearer. And that bearer was...me. I...I went to see Star Wars a few days ago. ‘Cause, I mean, it’s a good movie. Let me have my fun, stop judging me. And I also bought this set, this “Battle of Tacos Dana”, with my mind fresh on Star Wars, like the fresh wintry landscape of...wait what’s that planet’s name? Was it really called “Starkiller Base”? Really? Alright, okay. So, buckle your space seatbelts, as I shamelessly replicate my last semi-successful review - the Imperial Shuttle. Here we go! Where’s that picture of a mountain… Oh, there it is. Meet Derwent Water, everybody, an absolutely beautiful and serene English landscape, where apparently the entirety of the planet, yes, a solar body, is sustained in. I knew I could fit a mountain in here somewhere. I’m not just going to disregard this location either - I will be comparing this image to this set quite profusely and unfairly. And I don’t care, because I love me some English landscapes. So, let’s crack this egg review open, separate out the yolk from the whites, toss away the yolk, stir up the whites, add a little bit of salt and pepper, toss ‘em on the frying pan, and make some eggs! Name: JackJonespaw. Oh, wait, you mean of the set? “Battle of Takodana” Hm. Real Creative. Randomly Generated Number: Seven Five One Three Nine Theme: First Composed by John Williams in the Late Seventies Year: I want to say 2016, but I really have no idea. Minifigurettos: 5 of them. Pieces: 409 Price: £49.99 / $59.99 I Could Have Just Put This Link at the Beginning You’re probably asking yourself - gee, what picture will he start with first? The final product? A albatross? Nope, just the nice little (big) box here. Once you remove the pieces, the box itself is actually pretty weightless, the perfect thing to throw at someone if you want to make a point and get their attention, but don’t want to permanently cripple their head/brain. As you can see, the box features some nice Lego placement, something that I could never replicate in my opening picture. But...something does bug me about this art. Do you see ol’ Kylo Ren up there, looking out at us with his nice red laser beam? Okay, great. A light beam would cast shadows outwards, right? You don’t need to tell me, I already know. So why is the little slope piece right next to his lightsaber casting a shadow...on his lightsaber? Yet look down there by Finn - his shadow is repelled towards us, like it’s the lightsaber that’s casting the shadow, which makes nice sense. But then on the fallen tree, the leaves’ shadows are right under them, with little to none angle...where is that light coming from?! You probably think this is nitpicking, but I guarantee, given enough time to think of a nice lie, I could find a connection between this and the rapidly increasing price-per-piece ratio. Look at this graph. Some poor fool over at Wired did this. I have no idea what any of it means, but it seems relatively relevant. Moving on, we now have our minifigures. In my last review, I wondered why the minifigures had a glow about them - disgusting new Chewie had blue, the rest had an orange glow. Some guy on Eurobricks (the site is literally down right now, so I can’t look up his name, and we both know I won’t go back later and change this, but if you’re reading this, you know exactly who you are) told me that it was because the orange figures were new, and only poop-colored Chewie was old - hence the blue. Got it? Great. Take that knowledge and toss it out your window. Or throw it away, if you’re like me, and for some reason your windows are bolted shut somehow that you can’t figure out, no matter how badly you’d love to feel that nice cool winter wind on your face as you type away at your computer like an insane fool about glows behind minifigures on a cardboard Lego box. Excuse me, have to...uh...I had a thing in my throat. Like I was saying, that knowledge is irrelevant now. The blue colors mean new, so for Maz and Sir Ren, they are glowing blue, but for the rest, ol’ Boyega and his ex-coworkers, they don’t get as much as a little ambient glow. What’s next is the side of the box. It’s...it’s the side of the box. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all. Moving….on! This is where the real potatoes come on out to play here - the mufflefracking back of the box, kiddies! A nice different shot of the set with cool lightsaber graphics! Useless top view hologram-type picture with weird sideways lantern-pillar shot! What? I don’t get it! Do you? Why are there soundwaves coming out of some random point in the top left? Why does one part of the pillar-lantern have a rectangle over it? Weapons! Guns, sabers, large white and black stick! Kylo Ren is from heaven! I think...I don’t remember the scene in the movie where he stands in front of a glowing doorway. If you look over to the right, you can seen Maz using the Force to do something to a Stormtrooper. Is that just me? Why else would the Stormtrooper being in the pose, dropping his gun? That scene wasn’t in the movie. Lego needs to work on their representation of these Star Wars characters - just because Maz is short, wise, and old, doesn’t make her Yoda. Come on, Lego! Here we have some shots of the “play features” of the set. Don’t look too close, boy and girls, because I will be going into depth with these later! Don’t look! Stop it! STOP! Okay, one of you looked too closely. Get out. This is my review, I make the rules here. Get out, seriously, man. I ain’t playing with you. Bye-bye. Go buy this set if you want, see if I care. I don’t care. Now for all of you who actually followed the rules, let’s keep going. Instruction Manual! I don’t know how much this weighs, so don’t ask. We’ve got Kaelow Rhin at the top again, with his fluttering lightsaber and enough particles to satiate even the most ambitious of visual effectists. Same art as on the front of the box, standard stuff here. Flip it over, and we get...a robot? I don’t remember this guy. Everyone remembers the happy Win kid (Gwin something? I can’t remember). At some point they moved on to just a normal, happy minifig - which makes sense, don’t want to show any favoritism to that one kid - who knows what happened to him. But now it seems like they killed the minifig and replaced him with a cold, hard, steel robot. To each their own, I guess. But, like, what happened to the happiness of the old guys? Right now, I have the instruction manual with ol’ real happy kid here...and I want to win. With this robot, it feels like I have to win. But not by my choice. He is just my new Robotic overlord. So, once we stopped complaining about menial details, pop open that booklet, and we see Hannibal and his bags. I made a joke about this in the last review, so I’ll just copy it over here: "There's a fun little graphic of Mr. Fig here opening a box full of what he's made of. Don't think about that too much, or it'll be a human opening numbered bags of livers and digestive tracts. I'm pretty sure there was an episode of Hannibal about that." Pretty funny guy here. I wish I had his creativity. What I do have is a nice picture of the instruction manual here - page 41, not that that’s relevant, but I figured I’d just choose my favorite page for you guys. See, here, you get to put some pretty irrelevant bricks onto a structure...for support, maybe? Not super sure about what the purpose is. There’s really nothing about any instruction manual that someone, somewhere, hasn’t said. So let’s pop this baby open and see who’s lurking inside! Bags 3 in the box do lie. Cardboard, standard deal here. I really wish there was more here than there is. The price really comes down to the minifigs you get in this set - not so much the set itself. More on that later, I promise. Once you spill out Bag 1, you get this picture. I try and replicate the feeling of Legos that you’d actually get - no one really lays out each and every brick unless they’re going to take a picture for a review. I want to reinstate that classic feeling of ripping a bag open and searching for each piece for a good minute until you find it and start the next minute-long search for another piece. Color-wise, we have gray, tan, and lighter gray. Some other orange color, and I have no idea what that color’s called. I think of cake when I see it, so from now one the name of that color is cake. Slap a few pieces, flip a few instruction pages, and you get this really promising structure. This really is just securing the structure - a totally different feeling than you’d get with a starfighter ship - while those usually build from the inside out, these always build from the ground up. As such, the more playset playsets, versus the ships, have more room to pop in totally useless 2x4 red bricks. I know no one can see them once the structure is complete, but something about it just...ah. I don’t get it. It ruins the integrity of the canonical structure. But hot damn if these Stormtroopers aren’t sexy! I remember seeing the trailer for Episode 7, in late November of 2014, and seeing that short clip of the Stormtroopers and instantly falling in love - it’s a bit of a combination of the late-Clone Wars Clone Trooper and the OT stormtroopers. And it’s absolutely wonderful and translates very very well into Lego form. One of these guys comes with the lightsaber electric heavy stick that he fights Finn with. Interesting not here - this guy actually has a name - FN-2199, old comrade of Finn here. nicknamed “Nines”. Man, I love Star Wars. there’s a name for everything and everyone. Back in build town, we cover up those nasty red bricks with some good ol’ tan plates, basically building up the structure more. Believe me, as legitimate as that last sentence sounded, I’m internally screaming in anger at the blandness of this build. If you throw 2199 and his buddy around, you see the fantastic backprinting. In terms of design, it works, both in this form and in the actual costume. I don’t know, man, I just really like Stormtroopers. Sue me. Now now nowwe get some cool building - a weird triangle building doorway shape plus a sticker, going from solidifying the base to building up the...well, building. Is good stuff here. Beneath the helmets, we get Standard Angry Lego Face #8, two of them, in fact. I kinda miss the old days of just a black head, something about it fit much better than these weird generic angry faces. Bag 2 everybody. What surprises lie beneath/in these bricks? Well, Bag 2 holds two of the three reasons anyone would buy this set at all - and those first two are: Finn and Kylo Ren, two pretty big main characters in the movie. Unfortunately, this is the cheapest set that you can get these guys in. I’ll talk more about each figure individually, but since this is the only picture I actually took with Ren’s helmet on, it would be wrong to not discuss it for a little bit. Here we go: I like it. Okay, moving on. So on the build, we throw two sides of a door behind the doorway, as would make since, and later they’ll slide open magically in that special way that only Star Wars doors can do. We also bulk up the side more, but not much is added overall. Like he does in about 90% of the movie, here we’ve got Finn wearing Poe’s jacket. Bonus Lego creativity - if you switch out the hands and put Poe’s head and hair on the torso instead of Finn’s, you get early-movie Poe. I’m throwing out tips here, guys, you better accept them. Finn’s face doesn’t really look like...John Boyega at all. I guess as far as Lego translations go, this is the best they could do, but it feels more like a generic double sided face than one of the main characters of the whole movie. Finn carries Luke’s old lightsaber that somehow appeared in Takodana, which is one of the murkier parts of the movie, and a standard blaster. I was kinda hoping that Lego would at least make the blaster two colored, like in the movie, but my hopes have been dashed once again! Blast! But here we go, we add the flag, just about double the whole size of the structure. By the way, you see that single, solitary flag up there? Of course you do, you can see the picture. It’s supposed to replicate this - Yea. I have the same exact feeling. Now, let us take a moment to celebrate this hairpiece of Finn’s. Throughout the however many years that Lego has existed, we’ve been severely without a solid black guy hairpiece. And here we go, finally. Of course, we both now know what this means - expect every single licensed black guy from now on to have this hairpiece on. It’s already happened with Winston from Ghostbusters and the Falcon from the Avengers. Kind of a double-edged sword, but I suppose it more of a two steps up, one step back, versus not moving at all. Who knows, I’m sure some college student out there can write an entire paper on this. If I find that, I’ll let you know. Oh but they totally (read - don’t totally) redeem their lack of flags themselves with these two lantern things. Not sure what these are, but here they are, whether you wanted them or not. And let me tell you, these guys are really (read - not really) secure - attaching with a whopping two studs with no bottom support. I think I actually lose one after I took the pictures for this review. Let me check. Yea, yea I immediately lost it. It fell off and now it’s gone. Maybe my cat ate it. Our other figure is Kylo Ren, who, in this version, I’ve named “Kinda Adam Driver but not really”. It fits this figure well, considering that this figure looks barely anything like the character. My working theory is that both Boyega and Driver have rather prominent noses, versus Ridley, who has a pretty normal nose, so the absence of the noses loses the resemblance to the characters, while Rey’s figure looks pretty good. I could be wrong, but I honestly have no idea what else it could be, but I just can’t see either of the actors in the faces of the minifigs. Anyway, back to the actual minifig - the hair is...expected, but yet again it falls short, since Driver’s hair is way more billowy than this hair. Ah, and the lightsaber too, really, they could have done much better than the weird cross-piece. Am I complaining too much? Most likely, but I have really high standards for Lego minifigs here. Okay this review just hit a bloody seven pages on the Google Doc I’m writing it on, so you know what time it is - commercial break! ...time. Commercial break time. I realized on the Imterial Suttle review that I can’t actually deeplink a video in here, so I’ll just copy a transcript and take a screenshot of the commercial of my choosing. So I’ll just...type commercial into Google, and let’s see what we get… I can’t find a single transcript, and I’m not going to type up what I hear, so I’ll just post the chords to “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen, since that was the background music in one of the commercials I found. Just the chords. Em Am Em Am C G C G C G Am B Em Am Em Am Em Am F#m B That’s an insanely short song. Moving on. Rip open Bag 3 and get ready to finish up this build. There’s basically two parts of this build, and Bag 3 solely contains the second half. Okay, let’s wrap up the building process. Bag 3 contains about 80% of the total play features of the set, and many of them are absolutely useless, but I’ll get to that later. For now, you can see the work on two features - you can always tell when a play feature is about to be implemented, because there’s always technic pieces integrated. Here we get reason #3 that anyone would buy this set - for Maz Kanata. As she, well, owns that cantina that this set is based on, it’s not a stretch to assume that this will be the only set she’ll likely appear in, at least from Episode 7. Her figure is thoroughly mediocre. In the movie, Maz is pretty skinny and short, but the way that minifigs are, she looks rather plump. The head mold, however, is very strong, and it resembles her way better than Ben or Finn’s heads do. We add more to the wall, add a hole, cover up the technic pieces, and hope that we’re almost done. Spoiler - we are. We get some nice torso printing, and it displays this magpie-y characteristics that Maz has. Good job, Lego. Separate piece of building - the tree. I think it’s a tree, or just a very tall log. It’s not the best representation of a tree, considering that it is literally a tall cylinder with one constant width. You know, a lot of people have compared Yoda to Maz, and I feel like the resemblance really shows in this figure, at least comparing Maz to the pre-Clone Wars Yoda head. They both have pretty similar noses and mouths. I have no idea if this was on purpose, but it fits pretty well, accident or not. Anyway, you connect the “tree” and the wall together, to get a tree and a wall. Thoroughly unexciting, I know. Add more crap to the build, add tiles to the top, I want to rush through this part, really, I do. It’s literally a multi colored wall and a stick. It’s really not impressive. Give me 40 pieces and about 5 minutes and I can do something similar. Okay, thank God, we’re finished. Leaves and wall pieces and I can finally close my eyes and take a long-ass nap. I’ll connect the two parts together once I wake up. Hey-o! Look at that baby, folks! Beautiful, connected, and full of play features to touch all over and use! As far as basing it off Maz’s cantina, it’s a bit of a stretch, but I suppose it works. It definitely approaches the battle from an underwhelming perspective - the battle was much more Resistance v. First Order than Kylo ‘n’ Pals v. Finn. It was mainly Finn trying to escape with Han and Chewie. For what it’s worth as a playset, though, it definitely delivers, although many of these features, like the area it’s based on, are underwhelming. But let’s take some interesting looks at the set, first. The front view of the door is probably the most recognizable from the movie and trailers, and, like I said, despite the lack of flags, it still manages to give off that “used” Star Wars feel that Episode 7 captured pretty well. It probably has something to do with the color choice, too, blending in cake bricks, dark bley, tan. It’s all quite nice, really. It’s a decent structure, here. Nothing modular building-y, but it manages to fit. This side shot is primarily useful to show the God-awful way that the lantern-pillar-dildos are attached to the rest of the set. No support, I tell you. They fall off! There were, are, and will be so many better ways to connect the thingys to the rest of the set. And Lego didn’t try a bloody single one of them. Shame on you, Lego! Shame! Shame! Shame! The back view. Never the part of a Lego set you’re supposed to show off, as it seems like on the backs of playsets or the bottom of starfighters the building just becomes lazy. Compared to the slope-y, curvy front, the back just falls...flat. Flat. Get it? Here see ye the other part of the set - or as I’ve named it: the Wall. Not the one from Game of Thrones, just the wall. I didn’t mean to capitalize it back there; it’s not an important wall of any kind. It has designs, the faux-random brick placement, and the ugliest tree on God’s green Earth. Or green Takodana. I mean, seriously, this tree. Let us talk about this tree, shall we? It’s...it’s a stick. A straight cylinder, pointing right up towards God. “Oh, but JJP, it has leaves on it! Isn’t that redeeming?” Redeeming?! No! I...it’s...why...just don’t include the tree!! Who would have been torn up about the absence of a tree?! I don’t even remember seeing a tree nearthe cantina! Reallywhatweretheythinkinghereit’sjustpissingmeoffman!!! The back of the Wall (again, not an important wall). Don’t look at that poop stick to the right, but notice the gear that was hidden. You didn’t notice it, did you? Clever Lego hiding play features. At least this back is somewhat okay in terms of design. Of course, it’s nothing fantastic, but then again you don’t see the designer of the set winning any MOC contests, do you? A top view. That is all. No comment here. Oh, but did you think there wouldn’t be stickers in this? Nah, buddy, of course there are. Only two stickers are here, this one control panel thing on the side of the door, and this other fake design-design up here. It’s partially hidden by the flag. Which, by the way, I quite like. It’s a very nice flag. I would have just preferred about 100 more to make this cantina entrance come to life. Hey, Star Wars Lego builders - get on this! Play features! I’m not totally sure how to approach this, so I have the part I’m affecting, and I show what you touch or turn or pull or push to manipulate it. The Door - Action: Pulling/Pushing - It’s almost odd to see something so simple in a set. All you do it apply a lil’ pressure to the stud there, then pull it to open it or push it to close it, and you have a nice door. I would have opened both sides of the door in a nice dramatic Star Wars-y way, but how was I supposed to take a picture, then? These, my friends, are the questions you must ask yourself when you write a review. The...Pebbles? Rocks? Stones? - Action: Slamming and Hoping it Works - So this set has rocks or something right here, just kinda stuffed in, not attached to anything. You just put your finger/thumb/toe on this little slide thing here and slam it forward, and about 60% of the time the pebbles will fly away. I’m not sure if these are Maz’s attack, since on the box art she’s right next to them, or if it’s an explosion, or even how this is a remotely fun play feature, but what I do know is that something funky is going on with my thumbnail there. The skin around it is frayed slightly, and it’s a weird yellow color....anyone know what’s up with that? Is anything up with that? Help? The Chunks of Wall - Action: Rotating and Then Picking Up - Another fun feature in this set to clean up after you make a mess are two identical pieces of this wall here. See, you kinda rotate the gear around and it pushes those L-things up and push the pieces of the wall off the wall, since they’re very loosely connected, and then you...just put them back. That’s it, folks, that’s the best they could come up with. The Tree - Action: Heavy Analysis of Lazy Tree-Building - And then there’s this little box - almost meaningless, really. For some reason it’s stuffed away in this little corner behind both pieces of the set. Is this the box where Luke’s ‘saber was/is supposed to be? I’m not totally sure, but it’s the only thing that I can make sense of it. You just turn that pin and the box falls out like my hope fell after seeing that tree - i.e., pitifully and quickly. The Box I Forgot About - Action: Turning - And then there’s this little box - almost meaningless, really. For some reason it’s stuffed away in this little corner behind both pieces of the set. Is this the box where Luke’s ‘saber was/is supposed to be? I’m not totally sure, but it’s the only thing that I can make sense of it. You just turn that pin and the box falls out like my hope fell after seeing that tree - i.e., pitifully and quickly. The Fold - Action: Confusion, Since I’m not Sure if this is a Play Feature or Not- ] The two pieces, once connected, do this nice little rotating fold thingy. So you can have it be a nice 180o flat angle, or crush it in as tightly as possible and then throw that damn tree across the room and smash it with the hammer you keep safely in the box for emergencies just like this, and watch as the once-hard-seeming plastic immediately bends under the sheer force of your anger, for is it not anger that fuels all desire and all passion of any negativity, is it not anger which caused Man himself to act? I don’t know the answer, and I’m not really sure what the hell I just wrote, but you can bend it in any way that you’d like - that’s what Lego’s all about, guys - creativity! You get some extra pieces here. I think a few of those were supposed to go in the model, especially that 1x3 plate, but I’m not going to destruct it and then rebuild it just to place that piece in - I’ll probably forget a few more, anyways. Whoa, wait did I finish? Okay, I ran out of pictures, so that means we’re done. I didn’t even register it, I just thought that I would be an endless loop of review-writing. I’m kinda excited, honestly, to see what awaits me next. But, of course, we have to wrap this whole review up. Cue the queue for the Q&A! (See what I did there? Ah, never mind.) What would you rate this set on a scale out of 100? I would actually rate this question a Piss-Off/100. Let me do my own thing, conformists. What did you like about it? Nice pieces here, good minifigs for the collectionneur, and, I guess, it at least resembles the cantina. What did you not like? And why would anyone actually ask this? Well, damn. You didn’t have to add that last part. But for the first part, it just seems like a lot of fumbling pieces, a bit of shoddy design, and mediocre play features. And don’t forget the tree. Don’t you dare. Sum this set up with one word. Not a question, actually, but okay. Underwhelming. Think about it - the biggest draws about this set are the rare ‘figs, not the actually set. Therefore, the design can afford to be a bit sloppier in exchange. This generally seems to happen with the minifigs > everything sets, unless both categories are hopeless (lookin’ at you, “Ultimate Lightsaber Duel”. Get outta here with your BS). Have you been gelling your hair recently? It looks good. Hey, thanks, man, yea I got a shorter cut and now I’m gelling it up to get rid of the fringe. I think it looks okay. Your compliments mean a lot, seriously, they do. So, final score? Hm, I think I’ll go with the classic 37/100. Hasn’t failed me yet. It’s not the cheapest set, it’s not the most romantic set, and it’s probably just cheaper to buy the minifigs online. Huh, maybe that 37/100 is actually a correct rating. Nah...

I know some people like to investigate the first day lynchee's votes, but let's be honest - the late Corporal's vote was as flimsy as the rest of ours. I'll say it, a first day vote is generally 100% of the time flimsy. I'm sure Sir Orann and myself, as well as Sir Bloast only voted because we couldn't get anywhere without not lynching, at least, in my opinion. Basically, Orann sums up my thoughts above.

Which means there could be an SK around here....

Well, lads, 3:3 isn't preferable for a Day 3, and I'd much rather turn that into a, say, 2:5, obviously. Unfortunately for us, the number of assassins won't go down if we don't do anything about it. So I'm going to - right here - run through everybody and see who is most suspicious. Hmm... Those most suspicious to me are: Glanred, I'd like to hear a bit more from the lad, first. Yesterday, lad, your last post was: "This was why is comment "Hmm"earlier on his voting also. It actually looks like trying to jump on the easy bandvagon... "sniff" and it doesn´t smell good.", in reference to the late Corporal's hypocrisy and bandwagoning after chiding me myself for doing the same thing (although I wasn't). It seemed to me, at least, that Glanred here would be voting for the Corporal, yet his next post made no reference to it, despite us needed his vote for a lynch (until Mairn stepped in, of course). And today, boys, listen well, he says: "I didn´t find any resonable reason who to vote for when going through all the comment." I would quite enjoy hearing from Sir Glanred here about just what changed his mind about voting for the Corporal when it seems even the stars themselves pointed towards him voting for the Corporal. A good explanation could help you here, my friend. Sergeant and Mister Skarbin, why, exactly, did you refrain from voting yesterday? I realize you, Mister Skarbin, had voted upon Mr. Anderson, but when you removed it, why not between myself or the late Corporal? And I ask you the latter part of that question, too, Lady Moreton. Now, Sir Eustace, you have been blundering about with a little dash of contradiction, at least it seems so to me. You've explained yourself out of most of it, but something fishy is there still, I would bargain, but consider yourself on the metaphorical medieval backburner here, lad. Dear King, might you tell us how long is left before the glorious sun sets on this day?

It does, but I've got to agree with him here - we have learned virtually nothing new since yesterday. The best that I'm hoping is that there are a few people out there who are working with some kind of communication so we can actually rule people out and focus on those most suspicious based on night results. But I do agree with you here, my lady, that no one should say any results out loud in the thread unless they are extremely confident that it will benefit us.