Jump to content


EB News Presents: Galactic Paranoia ... The Dirty Truth


5 replies to this topic

#1 Shadows

Shadows

  • Awesome, brilliant, not redundant.


    Posts: 14441
    Joined: 30-April 07
    Member: 1558
    Country: USA

Posted 24 May 2009 - 03:04 PM

Welcome to another exciting episode of EB News Presents! I'm your host, Imperial Shadows, and tonight is going to be a very different episode of EB News, as we're actually going to present ... news! Yes, that's right, an actual news broadcast!

EB News: We Bring You the Real News ... Whenever We Feel Like it!™

Tonight, we're going inside a secret military operation to expose corruption, murder, and other nasty things that I won't spoil by telling you now. Let's get started!

It has recently come to the attention of the EB News Team that Rebel and Imperial forces are in negotiations to bring peace to the galaxy, but can they even bring peace to their own ranks? It doesn't seem like it.

Apparently, in the course of the negotiations, both sides have come to the conclusion that there are spies in their ranks, and are actively voting to kill these spies, despite having no evidence as to their identities. Yes, that's right, they're simply guessing who might be a spy and then murdering them in cold blood. Don't believe me? We've managed to tap into the internal security cams and captur one such murder, that of Ivy Shadowspark. From what we've been able to determine, Miss Shadowspark was a loyal and brave member of the team who, at one time, dated none other than the painting of Luke Skywalker. She also had fabulous hair.

How could they make a mistake like this? How could they condemn this noble and incredibly hot woman clearly in her prime?

Now, here is the shocking footage. Sadly, the audio track was unusable but we were able to assemble what we hope is a reasonably accurate transcript that will appear below the footage. I will also add comments to describe the action.

As the footage begins, it's obvious that Miss Shadowspark was awakened in the middle of the night by a knock at her door. She rises and prepares to answer.

Posted Image
Ivy Shadowspark: I'll be right there, I'm just putting on my ... um ... I'll be right there!

At this point, she moves to her wig stand and puts it on. Who knew that fabulous hair was a wig?
Posted Image
Ivy Shadowspark: I'm almost decent, one more second!

Miss Shadowspark goes to the door, but is cautious.
Posted Image
Ivy Shadowspark: Who is it?
Unidentified voice: I brought you a birthday gift, I'd really like to give it to you!
Ivy Shadowspark: A gift? For me? YAY!

As she opens the door, she recognises the visitor, but we are unable to see who it is. She invites him in, thinking it's a friendly visit.
Posted Image
Ivy Shadowspark: Oh, do come in, it's so nice of you to stop by.
Unidentified Voice: Just turn around and I'll give you your surprise.
Ivy Shadowspark: OK!

Poor Ivy, unable to see what the man had behind his back, turns to await her 'surprise'.
Posted Image
Unidentified Voice: Hold still!
Ivy Shadowspark: I'm so excited! You all are so great to get me something special for my birthday! I can't believe it!
Unidentified Voice: Uh huh. Happy birthday!

This next scene is pretty disturbing. I would suggest that our more sensitive viewers look away.

Unidentified Voice: Do you remember when the commander said we had to catch the spies or heads would roll?
Ivy Shadowspark: Yeah. But how do you roll a head? I never got that. :wacko:
Unidentified Voice: You'll get it now. :skull:
The axe comes down quickly, Ivy's head bounces to the floor, her body still frozen in place momentarily.
Posted Image
You can see the grimacing expression on her face as she realises that the gift isn't anything she'd want.

This next part even disturbed me, but I'll let you be the judge of it.
Posted Image
Unidentified Voice: Wow, she was pretty hot in this outfit. It's so lonely out here on this mission...

At this point, the unidentified murderer covers the security camera. We are unable to accurately say what happened after that, we'll leave it to your twisted imaginations. :wacko:

So there you have it, the death of Ivy Shadowspark, and an inside look at the type of corruption that surrounds these 'peace' proceedings.

With a peace like that, maybe we'd be better off with war. :hmpf_bad:

Thank you for joining me for this very important episode. If we are able to gather any more inside footage, we'll be sure to share it right here, but don't count on it, it's a lot of effort. :laugh:

I'm Imperial Shadows, and you're not. Goodnight!

*camera fades*

Shadows is looking for stalkers. Yep, you heard me right. CLICKY!



New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here
Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide | Tutorials


#2 Natman8000

Natman8000

  • Dorky Obnoxious Tusken Accountant


    Posts: 2289
    Joined: 27-February 08
    Member: 2813
    Country: USA

Posted 24 May 2009 - 03:18 PM

Who would of known. How interesting. Thanks for doing what must be done, humiliating yourself by showing your embarasing death. Well done :classic:
Posted Image   Posted Image

#3 Shadows

Shadows

  • Awesome, brilliant, not redundant.


    Posts: 14441
    Joined: 30-April 07
    Member: 1558
    Country: USA

Posted 24 May 2009 - 03:27 PM

View PostNatman8000, on May 24 2009, 10:18 AM, said:

Who would of known. How interesting. Thanks for doing what must be done, humiliating yourself by showing your embarasing death. Well done :classic:
Hey, I interviewed myself once, I might as well be the first alternate personality guest and first death also. :laugh:

Shadows is looking for stalkers. Yep, you heard me right. CLICKY!



New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here
Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide | Tutorials


#4 WhiteFang

WhiteFang

  • Beep beep!


    Posts: 15664
    Joined: 31-December 07
    Member: 2351
    Country: Singapore

Posted 24 May 2009 - 07:11 PM

Geez, I thought whom is the next in line for the interview.  :tongue:

This is really very unexpected, now should we indexed this as part of ImperialShadows' chroncles within our EB News index?  :laugh:

My BrickLink Store // Sign up for Reviewers Academy // Trains & Town Reviews // Black Knights Kingdom (EBRP) // Watch out EB News!

Click here to find out more about WhiteFang


New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here

Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide


My name is Wilhalm Bloodaxe and I am back to be part of the Ragnarök Now Redux.

Lord Kenneth Valise, Level 1 Knight, 28yrs old human
Power: 4 Health: 10/10 Gold: 10
Inventory: One potion, a Greatsword (WP: 3) and a Shield (SP: 2)


#5 Dragonator

Dragonator

  • Blurry? No! Furry? Who knows?


    Posts: 4807
    Joined: 07-October 07
    Member: 2052
    Country: New Zealand

Posted 25 May 2009 - 07:58 AM

View PostImperialShadows, on May 25 2009, 03:27 AM, said:

...I might as well be the first alternate personality guest...
I thought you were reserving that spot for me... :cry_sad:
Please be quiet.
Why?
Because if you do, I'll invite you to this castle I'm visiting later in the year. :wink:

Nice job Shadows, very comical in a sadistic and twisted way. :laugh:

New Member? Read This | Questions? Need Help? Ask Here

Site Guidelines | Eurobricks FAQ | Visual User Guide | Tutorials


Feel like relaxing with a blood-thirsty game? Check out the LEGO Mafia, RPG and Wargames forum


#6 Stauder

Stauder

  • Beware, he's back!


    Posts: 1967
    Joined: 21-December 06
    Member: 1134
    Country: Malta

Posted 11 June 2009 - 06:25 PM

Woah. I noticed what chaos is wreaked here, and I must say I gotta get me in on that action.

Stauder.
Posted Image
The above is a paid advertisement by EuroBricks News FLC (Fake LEGO Company). Eurobricks News FLC is 45% Stauder™ (The Annoying Parts), 25% ImperialShadows™ (The Funny Parts), 10% Whitefang™ (The Reviewsy Parts), 7% Zepher™ (The Female Parts... er...) and 7% Stash2Sixx™ (The Photographic Parts).

The previously stated ingredients of EuroBricks News FLC are a trade secret and if you tell anyone I will stab you. In the eye. With a titanium spork.
EuroBricks News FLC is a Trademark of the EB News Team. © EB News 2006 -THE FUTURE!™



Reply to this topic



  


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users