The Alchemyst

Ah, I should have posted on the earlier revisions, but better late than never. The sawfish is a cute addition, jumping from the sea. And on that note the sea is really nice. The color transition from the 3 blues is nicely done. The jumping the plank addition is also nice, and a very good part in the Pirate Curriculum. :P The rocky wall is pretty neat, with some good foliage. I'm a little confused on where that open archway goes to. For the interior, the overall look is really nice. There's a lot going on. The trees with the animals adds some flavor to the island, the rocky path was well done with the varying studs, the transition of water on the beach was executed excellently again, and the bits of standing grass here and there add some fullness to the scene and makes it less boring. I'm not sure what the gray [and sand blue] flat top wall is doing there, other than hold the wheels. Is it a practice wall? I think extending the wheels out from the wall, and adding some wooden poles to hold them would be better. Then you could make the wall part of the natural rock. Of course, this is only if the wall isn't there for something else. It just seemed funny with its flat top. I really like all the little bits, from fighting, cannonballs [Nice cannons, by the way], burying treasure to bribing the wench [Really nice touch!]. The graduation hat looks really nice. The minifigs are various, with emotions in their faces sometimes. They're all so different and I really like them [especially the one with the Hagrid Hairpiece]. The use of the Harry Potter Blackboard really helps wit the "School" part of the MOC. All the small details, such as the Islander head on a pole, the coconuts and the flag all really give a nice feeling to this MOC. Good luck! [-TA-]

A really nice entry. I'm surprised it's your first attempt, because it's very professional. What's an "otium" though? I'm assuming it's a typo, but I don't know what it could be. First off, the photograph is nice most of the time. The picture of the treasure has a lot of shadow, and the window picture is tilted. But the first pic was nicely photoshopped. The interior is really nice. I like the use of arches; it gives a sense of openness and shows what's inside.The alternating dark brown and reddish brown tiling on the floor as well as the white and black on the walls gives a clean-cut look. The ceiling and the crooked boards nearby are really nice as well. Although I don't know what the parrot is doing there, the windows and curtains were done very nicely; the latter looks realistic! The minifigs are nice. The kid has that awfully large hat that gives the feeling that he's wearing his grandfather's hat, and the admiral himself looks old, but strong. The story between them is cute, to boot. The treasure is piled nice and high, with various colors, some dull some shiny, and it really works well. It's simple and there's not much to say about it. The roof texture is nice, but the length seems awkward. I'm not understanding what the gray studs dotting the place are though. Barnacles? If so they seem really strange to be that far up. I think another window could work nicely... maybe even in the high brown area. The white and black was done perfectly, giving the old castle feel. The black is a little boring, minus the barnacles, but I don't think you could have done much more for an 8x8. I'm really surprised this is a small entry. There's so much going on and detail everywhere. Definitely a strong contender. Best of luck. [-TA-]

I really like this MOC. First of all the walls and windows are well done, with a nice white background and some yellow accenting. The photography is okay. It's a little off-center for the first one, and they all could be a little brighter. I like the crossed swords, although they seem to be uneven in some of the pictures. The party string with the different colors [and the monkey] really add to the party atmosphere. The various actions going on between Minifigs is great. From the Conga line, pinata, generals discussing to the punch-spiking and dancing pirates [i see a crack on the torso! ], it really does create the idea of a party. I think there could be a larger pile of things from the pinata, it seems a little empty. If you could tile the floor with some nice colors, I think it could add even more to the party atmosphere. It might not and be too much, but have you tried? I think a key part that's missing is some lighting from the ceiling, like chandeliers. The punch and punch bowl was excellently done, I really like the gem there, it makes it seem very fancy. I like the fireworks at the top as well, although I'm not sure what's going on with the bit of orange that's in the sky. I also think I see some TNT in there. Hilarious. I think there could be some tiling up top as well, but it definitely needs some yellow like the rest of the walls have. The string with all the flags from different alliances is a really nice touch. The 4+ Pirate fig was a nice touch, another bit of humor there. Overall a really nice lively and humorous entry, but with a serious chance to win. Good luck! [-TA-]

While I liked the building, I felt like it wasn't something for a MOC like this. What I'm trying to say is that if you made an open MOC, with no top, but with surrounding tunnel walls, as if we were seeing in the tunnel, we could see much more, you could add more, and so forth. Photography could be better with some large white posterboard to cover the bits of carpet. There is also a tilt in the one with the old soldier. I really like the smiling Redcoat with the lunch from the Mrs. He's jolly and seems to be walking like that, pickaxe on his shoulder and whistling The rock formation could use some work. It could use more of a blend, especially to the lower edges, and all those curves seem really funky. But I really do think opening it up would allow much more action and a more appealing entry than a closed-top one like this. Good luck. [-TA-]

Ooh, I like the roof you added, much more natural than that plate of gray on the top. Not sure if I like the action in there though. Seems oddly familiar of Warrant Service by JKool, as well as the fact that it seems out of place. I like the humor though, but I just feel like if it was something somewhat related, it'd be better. Looks like other than that nothing much has changed, I await your order and revision. [-TA-]

First word that comes to mind? Cute. It really has a Willy Wonka-esque [The original movie and book, mind you] feel to it, with the bright lush forest and colored studs dotting the landscape. It's nearly surreal. After that I noticed that except for the leader, they all had the same "Rascus" face from the Knight's Kingdom II sets. I'm assuming you got them from the impulse? But anyway it just seems really creepy and unnatural. Some variation in all their faces would be nice. The foliage here and there with the colored flowers are nice and all, but I think the large tree could use work. It has a palm tree-like trunk, but at the top there are no branches and the leaves are much too flat and much too little. If you could add a sense of fullness, life and overall another dimension to them, that'd be great. A simple example that comes to mind is the one in Medieval Market Village. The rock formations seem funny, especially since some slope down while other parts slope up. On the other hand you could make this an entirely surreal trip fest. With crazy smiling rocks, nonsensical trees, and such. You already have the background colors and little dots of craziness down. It could make for a very interesting entry, but it's all up to you! I'll be awaiting any new revisions! Best of luck. [-TA-]

Mmm, Red room, good smooth tiling and clean cut pictures, a huge amount of changes [and well done changes, in my opinion] from the first one. I wish you could do some ornamentation on the roof as much as you did with the interior. Maybe some fancy statuettes on the edge or one on the corner of the building. It might be too much though and move attention away from what's important here. Maybe a simple balcony? I really like the chandelier. The colors and the execution is simple, but it works. I think the ceiling should be a brick or two higher, I'm not sure though. Everything seems a little cramped, especially with how large the chandelier is. The minifigs are better from the first version, seeing how you updated the Torso to fit the modern theme. The treasure chest was a nice touch, showing the greed loud and clear in the first picture. I'm not sure if I like the window. It think some of the Rounded Windows with arches could work well here. Overall another great entry in the small division. Oy it's going to be tough to vote. >.<; Good Luck! [-TA-]

I thought VBBN at first but realized he didn't visit as much anymore. Congrats 3DB! You pretty much deserved it. :3 Remember us little people! [-TA-]

A simple small entry. I'd change the bottom flooring to smooth tiles, just to get a better look. The photography is tilted and slightly blurry. If you haven't already, join The Reviewer's Academy here on EB. They have some really great tutorials on Photo Taking. The outer wall is a little plain. The fish also looks a bit out of place. If you're going to keep the fish, I'd add some more detailing throughout. A mixed shade of grays to get a rocky tone going could work. The black from the tiles definitely stand out, and not in a good way. Instead of using 2x2 plates near the end, try using 1x2s there so the black doesn't show up in the walls. I do like the minifigs. The grin on the Parliament member is slightly evil looking and fitting. I'm not sure if I like the chicken leg on the table. It's covering the map/document and looks kind of silly . Overall, I like the idea, it's unique, but the execution and photography could be better. Work on it! Good Luck! EDIT: And yea, it reminded me of Vlad's entry as well. :P [-TA-]

Yay! The pirates look like Pirates now. The singer doesn't, but I guess that's fine. I'm liking the details such as the the rat and the dead Soldier. The alternating brown walkway is really great, and has the feeling of a concert. What would really let this come alive is a bunch of cheering Pirate Fans near the walkway trying to touch the singer. I'm liking the photography too. I like the sort of old and dim tone going on. It's really nice and fitting. Since it seems you've already gone past the 8x8 restrictions for a small entry, why not extend the sides to add some detail of a ship of some sorts? Or a port even. Anyway, I'm liking this entry a lot. The pro photography is definitely nice . Good luck! [-TA-]

Mmm, liking the color. Angle is a bit funny since the white space on the left and right are uneven, so I'd just crop some of that out. Lighting on the inside isn't the best, but it's fine. Anyway, at your pace, I'll have to be checking this daily! [-TA-]

Oh goody, the final version. I'm liking it. The ground is much better and more natural with the light gray there. The cheese slopes all the way at the top seem a little unnecessary, but they're not detracting from anything. Only problem I'd say is the lighting; you can barely see the Old Pirate with all that shadow. This definitely has a chance at winning I'd say, and it's one of my favorite small entries. [-TA-]

Mmm, digging the sign. Redcoat did get in the way I suppose. You stated that the picture wasn't good, and you have time to take a better one anyway. :P The light of the previous picture on the ol' Pirate was great, hope you have the light to recreate that soon . Anyway it's really gorgeous, and the light looks great without the Redcoat in the way. You've worked on this really quickly, and got a really nice, detailed Small Entry. I can't really say much more except for the "pot" for the flowers a couple of posts back [if it works/you have the pieces] and maybe some more checkerboarding with the Bley and Black up top. Or if you have enough 1x1s and Cheese slopes, a brighter color scheme for it completely. I think this is a strong Small Entry for the contest. Best of Luck! [-TA-]

It's better, the brown works nicely. The angle of the fish was better before though. The palm tree is better with the green round 1x1 off the top and the brown 1x1's [i still think brown 2x2's or the actual Palm tree trunks would be better]. The dock shortening isn't much of a problem, although see how it looks if you move the sand and dock 2 studs over. It's nice to see you working on this MOC so quickly! Oh and I should have said this before, but: Welcome to EB! [-TA-]

Oh I see, it just looks large and a bit obtrusive. The detail you tried is understandable though. But how does it look without it, and simply attached to the string? Good luck getting the fishing net! If you can get it before the contest's end, I really hope to see it used here . [-TA-]

Hm, it doesn't work on the top of the stop? That sucks. Have you tried removing the flowers to add the Flag? Or does it lose some of its charm and color? [-TA-]

Should have replied earlier, but here you go! I think you should add some pictures of the first version to the first post, for comparison. I personally liked the first version better. It was simple, had a nice hill going on. It was cute and quaint, which is perfect for what you're trying to convey. Now there's too much going on. It's a clumped and clustered vignette with seemingly unrelated things going on [the story about the daughter is awfully thin], hiding the main [and hilarious] point of the vignette: Richard watering his flowers. The treasure seems to be slightly random, and once again detracts attention from the watering of the plants [which isn't even going on anymore! ] The underground tunnel with the pirate action seems to be completely different from the theme of the contest: pirates and soldiers taking a break, doing things they hadn't done [Which you had nailed on the spot the first time]. Once again, I'd remove the entire thing. The huge tree seems to be in the way, making it almost impossible to see Richard. I don't understand what a palm tree is doing on a grassy hill You've lost the cuteness that was going on. And what's in the barrel? Is it water? o.O I hope you don't take me as overly harsh and critical, but I'm trying to help, and I truly think the simplistic idea of Richard watering flowers of the first version was well-done and fitting for such a contest. I hope to see something like that once again! Best of luck! [-TA-]

Eh not much of a change. The island is still nearly symmetrical and doesn't seem natural. It's better though. The alligator just seems like a way to cover the new empty space. The monkey is still held by a red brick , try changing that if you can. The background is a bit better, but posterboard would really help. I still think that it would be better if you cut down the base to an 8x8 and entered in the small division. You're just diverting away from the attention the unique knitting Pirate. Hope to see more changes for the better. Good Luck! [-TA-]

I'd add some divisions clearly stating the "old version" and "new version"; I'm going to assume the top ones are pictures of the newer version. The minifigs are nice. It's pretty unique how you incorporated your sigfig into it as well. The idea is good as well, with both the Redcoats and Pirates working together, doing something they all do. I'm not sure if I like certain parts such as the feathers. I was confused by it at first, until I decided it was the bait [it is the bait, right?]. The net seems a little odd. I couldn't tell that was a net until I read the description. Although the colors might be odd, a Spongebob Squarepants Jellyfish net [Peeron's pictures are oddly down] would work well here. Also using real netting tied to some Brown Lightsaber rods could work as well. The water was well done, with a variety of round studs, square plates and tiles of trans blue to give a shimmering look above the blue. The trans clear studs work well on the sand. I like the fishing pole you added, it's a small detail but it's nice. Again like most people, I'm not too fond of the trunk. But also I'm not too fond of the tree as a whole. It adds to the vignette, but it also crowds and the trunk is much too skinny to look good. The Green round brick at the top looks a bit odd too. Maybe you could make the sand a stud or two out towards the water? That way you could use Brown round 2x2s for a better trunk. If you could get some brown plates for the dock that'd be nice, but it's interesting to hear that Poland has black docks. I like this entry though, it's well thought out, has some good technique, and some good interaction between minifigs. Good luck! [-TA-]

EDIT: Whoops looks like I forgot something : Welcome to EB! Cute and funny! The Fish as guitars, the goblet as a microphone and lastly the shako as a drum [it fits well surprisingly!] are all very clever and "pirate-y"alternatives. The facial expressions and looks are nice for rockers, but they don't seem "pirate-y" enough. I can see the left guitarist [and the drummer, but that's a stretch], but I'd like to see some pirate hats or something that really shows that they're pirates for the others. The facial expressions of the singer and right guitarist are nice. The monkey and the parrot in the back are nice touches. Maybe you could use some These rounded gates in the back? The back seems to just splurge out to the sides right now. keep the animals though, I like them. A tan round 2x2 tile would look better for the drums I feel, if you have any. I like the rickety look of the stage, but then again it looks awfully thrown together. If you could keep some of the unevenness yet have some different layers so that the drummer in the back would be higher and etc, I think that would work really nice and create some dynamics. A unique entry, and it's really well done, I like it. Good luck! [-TA-]

Well it's nice coming out of your Dark Age isn't it? I suggest taking completely new pictures though. The color is nice and bright in the first one, but the white is much too overexposed. The second one has lower brightness, but it loses the shine. A darker background, black, dark blue or something of the sort would work really well here. Are you taking these with the flash on? If so, then I'd suggest turning it off and getting some sunlight or some lamps. Also check for a Macro mode, although I'm not sure if such an old camera has something like that. The new version seems better. I'm not a fan of all the loss of color, but the statue [if you could use some gray instead of black, it'd be fabulous], the scripts as the treaty and redone table is nice. The flag and the barrel are nice small touches at the top to make it less boring as well. I suggest adding some action of some sorts though. Have the solider put his musket on his shoulder and trot. Have the two down below talking or shake hands, like others have mentioned. These small actions in minifigs can really bring a vignette to life. While I like the white than the garish yellow and red from before, it seems boring and lacking. Some red accents [To symbolize the Redcoats. :P] on the wall would be nice. Maybe some of These Windows would work well, if you have any. Some plates or these in red on the top could work as well. Anyway I like the idea, it's very realistic and all. Photo could be better, but I understand what you mean about a bad camera. Best of luck! [-TA-]

The new picture is beautiful. Only problem seems that the light looks a tad too low [watch the plume Mr. Soldier!]. I like the use of the Trans Yellow Round Brick though, it gives a lantern feel. I think you should work some way to raise it up a stud or two maybe. I like the change from the leaves on the path. Much less glaring now. But still, I'm digging the new photo [-TA-]

A simple MOC, I like it. But since it's so simple, I think [like some others] that it'd work so much better as a small entry. That way you could really focus in on the knitting. Right now the open space is getting to me; it seems so bare. By cutting it down to an 8x8, you can keep the simplicity without making it look boring. You could potentially just put it on a 8x8 blue plate and then add on some tan slopes and plates to keep the island feel [although the tree would take quite a lot of space then ] The idea is unique, and it's pretty cute. The monkey is laying down on a... red stud? Could you make that brown or green to hide it? The photo with the clutter of A4 White Paper is a bit distracting... I highly highly recommend investing in some large White Posterboard, you get a much cleaner photo. The angle is also a little bit high, it's hard to make out much of the minifig. Good luck in the voting! [-TA-]

First thing that caught my attention was the photograph. Since most of the MOC is white, I think a Black, or some dark and matte background/poster. Also, the photos are very dark, I suggest signing up for the EB Reviewers' Academy [if you already haven't], and check out some Photo Tutorials there. You should get next to some sort of natural light from a window, or maybe even use some lamps, because it's awfully hard to tell what's going on. The front: When I first saw it, I couldn't tell what was going on, this could probably be from the lighting as well as the angle. Angle them using some studs so that they're tilted toward each other, yet facing us, much like what an actor would do [Or at least for the Pirate], it makes it easier for us to see the action from this angle yet they don't lose too much in terms of action and contact. The roof is brilliant. Very rickety and it feels as if it was made up of a bunch of random planks. For the actual point of the minifigs [comparing guns], maybe you could have one of them hold it up and look like he's bragging about it? From what I saw before reading, it looked like a pirate and soldier just holding guns. =/ The dock and water: I have to admit it looks a bit drab. The tiled water is fine, I have no problems with it, but the dock looks very bare. Maybe some more 1x1 round bricks to extend the polls below the dock floor? I also think the little details would work really well with such blank space. Maybe some fish lying around, or crates here and there, maybe some chain to chain a boat. Play around with some asymmetry in the dock, I think it can work really well. The back: A neat little tavern going on here, with drinks and wenches . Table seems a little cluttered with so many cups, but it's nice to see them get along. I'm not a fan of the indentations from the wall, if you could add another layer so it faces us with a smooth layer like in the front, that'd be great. A checkered or some patterned tile floor [if you can] would really make it come alive instead of the boring black. Overall, it could use some more action here and there, but I really do think better photos would help your chances greatly. Good luck in the contest! EDIT1: To above post: Doesn't mean you can't rebuild it for the better. :D [-TA-]

I like the angle this time, and I do hope for some better clean pictures in the upcoming days to really show off this MOC. This angle shows the soldier's face as well as the ground. It looks really good here, and I think I'll take back what I said about a bley base; this looks great. The lamp seems a tad tall now, maybe cut down the round 1x1 brick at the bottom? Or is it too low then? It could also be that the proportions make it really tall with the long extending arm. If you have another black telescope, see how that works instead of the rod. Once again, not too much of the obtrusiveness of the flowers on the bottom. I'll be keeping tabs! [-TA-]