Shadows

I lol'd. (note: this is the worst post I've ever made, but dammit, it's true)

*wonders if an N1 works the same as a T1* Hmmm... we still need that Johnson rod and bracket. Does anyone know what a Johnson rod looks like? I'm not sure I'd be too happy to accidentally trigger anything, so I think I'm back to standing around while Pete uses his flashlight to look for some more boxes or parts sitting around that we can carefully inspect.

I'm not saying a word, but there's plenty of lube over at the train shed if you need it.

A new day dawns. Blood ran through the halls and there was no one left to clean it up. Day 5: Imperial ~ Rebel Special thanks to Pvt. Hincklina Ross for filming her own death and the guest appearance of Stash the Janitor.

Galactic Paranoia Game Index Discussion Thread The Story It is a time of war, yet peace looms on the horizon. Two groups, one Imperial, one Rebel, gather together to build an alliance and finally put an end to the fighting. Unfortunately, their efforts are hampered by traitors within their own ranks, traitors they need to catch before all is lost. Can they overcome the traitors, and their own prejudices, to get the job done? The Rules / How to Win Simple. For the forces looking to bring peace, find the traitors and condemn them to death. For the traitors, kill off the negotiating team. This is done through a basic mafia format of discussion and voting, relying on a majority vote to condemn. Out of character discussions should be limited to the discussion thread and not allowed to clutter up the days. Jokes, however, are always encouraged, assuming the Grand Admiral isn't looking. The Days Day 1: Imperial ~ Rebel Day 2: Imperial ~ Rebel Day 3: Imperial ~ Rebel Day 4: Imperial ~ Rebel Day 5: Imperial ~ Rebel Day 6: Merged Force EB News Presents: Galactic Paranoia ... The Dirty Truth The Players The Imperials Grand Admiral Volrik - Played by ImperialShadows Admiral Blaire - Played by JLBlue & ImperialShadows Sarge - Played by Stash2Sixx Pvt. Zariah Phervik - Played by Zepher Pvt. Signicious Drumthwack - Played by Silent-Sigfig Pvt. Nester Brand - Played by Natman8000 Pvt. Drake Knator - Played by Dragonator Pvt.Wedge Durnkist - Played by Wouwie Pvt. Terris "Toupée" Bentman - Played by Tim Bit Pvt. Trent "Madman" Maverick - Played by Trexxen Pvt. Danko "Whatshisname" Legovski - Played by Darth Legois Pvt. Pepper Fletchman - Played by Professor Flitwick Pvt. Boden Constrek - Played by Bob the Construction Worker The Rebels Luke Skywalker (The Painting of) - Played by ImperialShadows Commander Blaze - Played by JLBlue & ImperialShadows Sgt. Tong Pincer - Played by Tiny Pies R Us Pvt. Razak Crade - Played by Ricecracker Pvt. Hincklina Ross - Played by Hinckley Pvt. Al Iztad - Played by Alice Pvt. Darek Dasner - Played by Da Death Star Pvt. Quincy J. Mann - Played by Quarryman Pvt. Ivy Shadowspark - Played by Imperial Shadows Edner "Eddie" Flak - Played by Escape the Fate Dayton Stern - Played by Sir Dillon Adley "Newbie" Ahm - Played by Adam Widanko "Wiseguy" Fenk - Played by Whitefang Others Unidentified - Played by Himself

Special Announcement: EB News has, for a while, been a little inactive. A little. Shut up. It isn't that we don't love you, we've just been busy. Well, I've been busy, and WhiteFang was on fire for a while, then not so much, but still busy, and Staudie is off chasing women or being chased by women, or wishing he wasn't chaste, or something. We're not sure on that one. Whatever the case, EB News couldn't be allowed to die, so it was time for some new blood. Mmmm, new blood. With the addition of Zepher as Guest Reporter and Stash2sixx as Studio Photographer, the EB News Team is now finally complete and a new era is beginning, an era of fantastic interviews with good spelling and even better pictures. Don't worry, we'll still feature the same old tired and worn out jokes that we're famous for, including cameo appearances by your favourite characters like what's-his-name and those other guys. Oh yes, we wouldn't want to leave anyone out, most of all, you. So, it is with that in mind that I ask you to keep watching, both the show and your PM box. You never know when something magical might appear. Thanks for your loyalty, your kind words, and most of all, your advertising dollars, because without them, we'd just be another two bit, underfunded news program. Hmmm. You people need to spend more. Yay!

Galactic Paranoia: Rebels, Day 5 Boys, Boys, Boys! Commander Blazer: "I have some disturbing news for all of you. This morning, we discovered the body of Pvt. Hincklina Ross. Well, actually, we discovered her buns, still attached to her head, plus various bits and pieces. Oddly, she seems to have had lots of spare parts we weren't expecting. Maybe the video will clear that up, let's take a look. Hincklina Ross: "Mmmmhmm, just what a girl needs in the middle of the night, a big banana." Hincklina Ross: "Oh, hello! Funny, I didn't see you when I came in. I'm just getting a midnight snack. What are you doing?" Unidentified figure: "I'm here to give you your birthday present!" Hincklina Ross: "But it's not my birthday. Are you sure it's meant for me?" Unidentified figure: "Absolutely." Hincklina Ross: "Well, I am my most favouritist person in the whole wide world, so I can understand you wanting to give me something special. What is it?" Unidentified figure: "It's over there in that special box." Hincklina Ross: "I thought that was the Foodprocessomatic 8000. I usually throw things in it and then food pops out." Unidentified figure: "Can you think of anywhere safer to keep your present? There are spies around, so security is important." Hincklina Ross: "Oh, that makes sense!" Unidentified figure: "All you have to do is crawl in and get what's coming to you." Hinclina Ross: "Yay gift!" Unidentified figure: "Yeah." Hincklina Ross: "I don't see it. Whaaaa... OW! MY BUNS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO" Hincklina Ross: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh..." Unidentified figure: "Garbage in, garbage out." Stash the Janitor: "Hey, what's going on in here? Who's making all this mess in my clean kitchen?" Unidentified figure: "Hincklina. She was trying to use the food processor and got carried away." Stash the Janitor: "Eh, no problem, I'll clean it up, she's a nice girl, got a great rack. Er, knack. Knack of something. Knack of boobs. Rack of lamb. Oh, forget it." Stash the Janitor: Ut oh, my broom is stuck in there. I love this broom! Don't worry Ethel, I'll save you!" Unidentified figure: "He calls his broom Ethel?" Unidentified figure: "Janitor in, turkey out? I don't even get this twist, but at least there's no witnesses." *END VIDEO* Commander Blazer: That explains the extra parts. Someone will need to contact Stash's family and let them know that he died a hero of the Rebellion. Tell them he was, um, cleaning up a mission gone wrong." Commander Blazer: As Pvt. Ross was our only link to Jedi Widanko Fenk, we have no means of determining her allegiance, and now we have no means of determining ANY allegiance. Again. I have spoken to the painting of Luke Skywalker and he has indicated that with the passage of time, the ability to contact a Jedi fades. He also says that Hincklina was probably our last hope in that area, since she had a great rack. Knack. A great knack for communication. Dammit, Stash made the same mistake, don't look at me like that. It seems we're on our own again. I hope someone amongst you has some idea of where we can go with this situation now, I'm at a total loss." Suddenly, the viewscreen comes on, as if haunted. A strange, cloaked figure appears. Unidentified figure: "Greetings. I am sending this communication live to both you and your counterparts on the other side of the negotiations. You may be wondering who I am, but it is unimportant. What is important is who you are and what you don't know. Some of you are loyal to your team, some are traitors. There are traitors on both sides, but neither are loyal to you. The traitors, in this case, belong to a criminal organization called Black Sun. Through the years, they have built a vast empire of their own, a commercial empire, selling goods to both sides. Many of your battles were practically catered affairs, with supplies completely from Black Sun. The profit has been huge for them, and your negotiations threaten that. So, they did what any bloodthirsty corporation would do in that situation, they made some bribes, called in some markers, and generally conducted business as usual, all to try to stop the negotiations. So far, they have succeeded. With that in mind, I come to you with a suggestion: Join sides. If you are ever to make peace, you will need to find at least some level of cooperation right now in an effort to defeat the enemy within. Merge forces, share information, seek out the traitors and deal with them quickly, before they can spread, and I assure you, they can spread, and probably already have. It's the Black Sun way. I wish you the best of luck. You're going to need it. *SCREEN FADES* Commander Blazer: "Black Sun! KARK! He's right, whoever he is, if we're to have any hope of stopping them, we'll need to join together with the Imperials. These Black Sun types are gangsters, the worst of the scum out there, and only with a solid effort from all of us, can we hope to defeat them. I say we join the Imperials to stop Black Sun. What about you?" *** You will have 24 hours to vote, via PM, to agree to join forces with the Imperials or not. Consider your decision carefully. If both sides agree, your forces will be merged. All other voting and night actions will be suspended until further notice. *** The Team Sgt. Tong Pincer - Played by Tiny Pies R Us Pvt. Razak Crade - Played by Ricecracker Pvt. Hincklina Ross (Unknown Allegiance) - Played by Hinckley Pvt. Al Iztad - Played by Alice Pvt. Darek Dasner - Played by Da Death Star Pvt. Quincy J. Mann - Played by Quarryman Pvt. Ivy Shadowspark (Loyal) - Played by Imperial Shadows Edner "Eddie" Flak - Played by Escape the Fate Dayton Stern - Played by Sir Dillon Adley "Newbie" Ahm - Played by Adam Widanko "Wiseguy" Fenk (Loyal) - Played by Whitefang

Galactic Paranoia: Imperials, Day 5 Shafted! Everyone gathers for the morning meeting. There are a lot of tired eyes in the room. Seems it was a long night. Grand Admiral Volrik looks at the group with disappointment: "I get up at 04:30 every day. I'm an early riser. None of that "up all night" business for me. No sir, I'm not about to be laying around in bed all day when there are things to take care of. I really can't abide people who don't get the job done, sleeping late, standing around talking about nothing, annoying everyone around them." Admiral Blaire: "Right! Speaking of which, Pvt. Signicious Drumthwack was found dead at the bottom of a turbolift shaft this morning." Grand Admiral Volrik: "How is that a speaking of which? Clearly, he was one of those up all night types and now he definitely won't be rising early or getting any work done." Admiral Blaire: "Um, the point is that we agreed that he was a spy and a randomly chosen member of the team was supposed to assist him to the hereafter." Grand Admiral Volrik: "Ah. I don't see the connection, but carry on anyway." Admiral Blaire: "Well, it's just that someone else got there first. Here's the footage, with audio." Grand Admiral Volrik: "Anyone have popcorn?" Pvt. Drumthwack: "Doot, de doot. I'm so happy! I've finally found what I was looking for!" Unidentified figure: "Hello, Drumthwack." Pvt. Drumthwack: "Aaaaah! You almost scared the life out of me. You shouldn't sneak up on someone like that!" Unidentified figure: "You probably would have noticed me if you weren't wearing your helmet. Why are you wearing it?" Pvt. Drumthwack: "I think I've figured it all out! I know everything now! I thought that might put me in danger, so I wore my helmet. Sarge swore by his." Unidentified figure: "Didn't work out for him either." Pvt. Drumthwack: "Huh?" Unidentified figure: "Nothing." Pvt. Drumthwack: "Ok. So I'm heading to security where I'll finally be able to pin down exactly who the spies are. It's very important, but this turbolift is taking forever to arrive." Unidentified figure: "I can fix that, no problem." Unidentified figure: "Let's see here, security override engaged. All fixed." *WHOOSH* The door opens without the turbolift car in place. Pvt. Drumthwack: "Thanks! Now I can get there in a hurry!" Unidentified figure: "I'd better get going. Enjoy your trip." Pvt. Drumthwack: "Strange, I can't see the turbolift car." Unidentified figure: "Those helmets..." Pvt. Drumthwack: "Yeah. Bye!" Pvt. Drumthwack: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa" "Pvt. Drumthwack: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa" Unidentified figure: "That's odd, I never heard him ..." *THUD* Unidentified figure: "... hit. Oh well, looks like he really did get there in a hurry! Talk about getting shafted. " *END VIDEO* Admiral Blaire: "According to our mortician, Pvt. Drumthwack was loyal." Grand Admiral Volrik: "Well isn't that great? I mean, just great! You idiots killed the wrong person again. But wait, I'm kind of confused. If he was condemned, why didn't the assigned killer do the job? This is crazier than a hutt in a beauty contest." Suddenly, the viewscreen comes on, as if haunted. A strange, cloaked figure appears. Unidentified figure: "Greetings. I am sending this communication live to both you and your counterparts on the other side of the negotiations. You may be wondering who I am, but it is unimportant. What is important is who you are and what you don't know. Some of you are loyal to your team, some are traitors. There are traitors on both sides, but neither are loyal to you. The traitors, in this case, belong to a criminal organization called Black Sun. Through the years, they have built a vast empire of their own, a commercial empire, selling goods to both sides. Many of your battles were practically catered affairs, with supplies completely from Black Sun. The profit has been huge for them, and your negotiations threaten that. So, they did what any bloodthirsty corporation would do in that situation, they made some bribes, called in some markers, and generally conducted business as usual, all to try to stop the negotiations. So far, they have succeeded. With that in mind, I come to you with a suggestion: Join sides. If you are ever to make peace, you will need to find at least some level of cooperation right now in an effort to defeat the enemy within. Merge forces, share information, seek out the traitors and deal with them quickly, before they can spread, and I assure you, they can spread, and probably already have. It's the Black Sun way. I wish you the best of luck. You're going to need it. *SCREEN FADES* Grand Admiral Volrik: "Now it's all clear! Black Sun! I remember their exploits in the Xizor days, but always assumed they had been destroyed. Black Sun is the worst of the worst, gangsters, thugs, criminals with no moral conviction at all. Stopping them isn't going to be easy, but I think our unknown benefactor is correct, we must join forces with the Rebels. What say you?" *** You will have 24 hours to vote, via PM, to agree to join forces with the Rebels or not. Consider your decision carefully. If both sides agree, your forces will be merged. *** The Team Sarge-Played by Stash2Sixx Pvt. Zariah Phervik-Played by Zepher Pvt. Signicious Drumthwack-Played by Silent-Sigfig Pvt. Nester Brand-Played by Natman8000 Pvt. Drake Knator-Played by Dragonator Pvt.Wedge Durnkist-Played by Wouwie Pvt. Terris "Toupée" Bentman-Played by Tim Bit Pvt. Trent "Madman" Maverick-Played by Trexxen Pvt. Danko "Whatshisname" Legovski-Played by Darth Legois Pvt. Pepper Fletchman-Played by Professor Flitwick Pvt. Boden Constrek-Played by Bob the Construction Worker

*follows closely behind Brakes and Pete, making a point to only step where they step and not touching anything*

We have flashlights?

Excellent! Welcome aboard!

I could have peed myself. Welcome, Adam! I was wondering why 6a was too quiet...

Yay! A part! Oh, I mean, yay, we saved Brakes! So, 3 more parts... who wants to get nearly killed next? And Brakes, just you remember who was there for you.

Check out the Mystery Castle threads. From the day he died until today, I've made a "Grim" (the name of his character in it) death joke in every mafia game I've played, and a number of non-mafia places. I assure you, I'll make "Brakes" jokes if it happens.

I'm saving that one. I'm kind of proud of that, personally.

Don't ask. Let's just hope help comes along and gets us out of this before we get in too deep.

It's kind of peaceful, too, out here in the country, just you and me and the stars through the grimy windows of the train shed. You been out in the country before? This isn't exactly my favourite position either, but the other guys aren't helping and it's so hard! :laugh:

Suck in your chest and I'll try to pull harder. This lube is making everything so slippery, I really could use some help here, guys! Couldn't one of you grab his other leg? (this isn't getting any better)

We have to save you or I'll be forced to make "those are the Brakes" jokes every time you die in the future. It would be a pretty Grim situation. Disclaimer: I accept absolutely no responsibility for what's going on in there.

Something is holding it up other than you, or you're be Brokeman by now, so there must be some clearance under it. Trust me, try to wiggle while I pull on you with all this lube! (oh god, what did I just say?)

And Stash himself, he did all of his own pics, which are excellent. If he had the time, I'd offer him a position as EB News Photographer for all of our interviews. I bet we'd do more than one every 3 months if that was the case.

Greaseman, not Superman. Hmmm... actually, that gives me an idea. This is a train shed, right? *carefully looks around until he finds oil or grease, something slick, then pours it all over Brakes and starts pulling on his legs to get him out from under the beam. Come on! Try to wiggle around some, maybe we can get you out of there!

That looks great, MMCB Have you ever thought that you might want your name in all caps here? PM me if so.

A heavy metal beam. Nope, don't see any way to move that, it's heavy, and metal, and I don't think we're allowed to employ the use of weapons, like to try to move it using leverage, so I'm not sure what we can do here. Do you have anything you'd like to tell us before you die, Brakes? Maybe a confession to make? I'm sure there's something you'd like to get off your chest, so to speak.

Welcome to another exciting episode of EB News Presents! I'm your host, Imperial Shadows! Hot off the sizzling expose we did on the Galactic Paranoia scandal, we come to you with something a little lighter, a good old fashioned interview. Sadly, Staudie was blown up in a freak baked potato incident and will not be joining us this evening. Sadly? Well, you know. The good news (better news?) is that he is being replaced for the evening by guest reporter Zepher, a lady, uh, someone you should already be familiar with. So, lets head right on over to the comfy chairs and get started, eh Mary Zeph? Oh Ritz, um, Shadows. For my debut interview, I’ve decided to sit on down with my good ever dying friend Stash (he’s always dying in Mafia’s. Recently because of me.) Let’s get right to the questions, Stash. Thanks. I’m excited to be here! Tell us a little about your user-name? Pretty simple. Stash (pronounced STOSH) is just a shortened form of my last name, and the 26th is my birthday. I added the 2nd X because I like to be mysterious…or maybe there was a Motley Crue song on, I can’t remember. Your sig-fig? I LOVE to ride. I’ve got a 2003 Harley Davidson V-Rod, which means “really-fast-tough-guy-bike!” So, I figured I would build a SigFig who rides, and is ready for anything! Okay, moving on to the real reasoning of this interview, you and Lego. How far back do you and Lego go? Have you known Lego long? Ever taken a break from it? I got my first set back in 1984 (set 6022) and I haven’t stopped. I have a younger sister and two younger brothers, so there was a LOT of brick in this family. Gradually, as they decided they were no longer interested in it, I quickly claimed it all for myself. As for a break, how long would you consider a break? When I went away to college in 1998, I really had no room for it, but I still took a stroll down the toy aisle. That all changed in Spring of ’99, those Speeder Bikes (7128) were the first Star Wars set I built, and I picked up right where I left off. What is your Favorite Theme? I don’t really have a favorite theme. There are way too many pieces that get excluded from one set to the next, so I have to like all themes. But if I had to build in just one theme… I choose Castle. What are your top three sets of all time? 6066 Camouflaged Outpost, 10182 Café Corner, and 10179 UCS Millennium Falcon All excellent choices! Who are some of your favorite builders? Oh wow, way too many to list. I’m a real big fan of what RebelRock does. His attention to detail and his level of humor are real entertaining. Jon Palmer actually kept me interested when I started to drift away for a short time. Darkspawn, John Langrish, Jonathon Lopes; serious though, there isn’t enough room on the page! Okay, moving on to what you’ve done with Lego. What’s your current projects and ideas? Recently I was admitted into NILTC (Northern Illinois LEGO Train Club) so currently, I am working on a small city display for Brickworld. As for ideas, I get too many and I never just stick to one thing. I’ve got some plans drawn up for a pirate ship or two. I started working on a Forestman hideout. I’ve dabbled a bit with an urban Fire Station. I had a Samurai castle started, but my dog decided to run through it and it needs to be restarted. I also have a few ideas for castles that I would like to complete…someday. And then there are a few custom minifigs I want to make. As you see, I have lots of plans, but I need to find more time! What is your favorite MOC you’ve made? A few years ago, I was messing around and made a Harley Davidson Dealer. It was nothing special, just threw some bricks together to show myself it could be done. Well, I tweaked it and fiddled with it for around a year and had it lookin’ pretty good…until I packed it away. I am now rebuilding it for Brickworld and am glad to see it “reborn.” Okay, let’s discuss you on EB. What’s up with your title? HAHA! I made a post in this thread, and I’ve been stuck with it ever since. I figure it could be worse though, I could tick off an admin and then be stuck with something really ridiculous! What's going on over there, Shadows? Oh, nothing that a little SECURITY can't fix! On our way boss, what's the problem??? You-know-who is at it again! He's stolen my hat and cape! I finally get a decent cape and what happens? WHAT HAPPENS? Your face needs a decent cape! GET HIM! Don't let anything stop you! You guys need some help over there? No no, we're fine. Zeph! Take off Staudie's helmet, you look ridiculous. Guess we'll get back to the show then. What have been some of your favorite EB moments? That’s easy! Getting to meet some of the EB members while at shows and events, hands down! I’ve met Phred, Hinckley, Copmike, and The Enigma That is Badger to name a few. I’ve spoken with I Scream Clone many times on the phone, and we have just become really good friends. I didn’t know anyone in Sweden or Australia, until I got on Eurobricks! Oh crap. RETREAT!!!! What are some of your favorite Mafia game moments/least favorite moments? Mystery Castle has to be one of my favorites so far. It was my first one, AND I made it up to day 5, which if I am correct, was the same length of time I made it through the Baritones. The Baritones was the only game where I had some type of special ability. An arsonist was a pretty cool skill to have, for a game of course! My least favorite moments…anytime someone jumps on a bandwagon and votes me off! If you can’t think for yourself, then don’t play! Yeah! Bastards! Nevermind. You’re attending BrickWorld, and bringing about half of EB with you. Where’d you get the motivation to make all our sig-figs and bring them with you? Last summer, I felt the need to get out a little more and travel, so I decided to head to Seattle for BrickCon ’08. Big surprise; it was raining when my plane landed! I saw some amazing Castle displays while out there and also saw a clump of Figs standing and sitting on the side of a hill. I asked someone what that was, and they told me it was the Classic-Castle SigFig display. I thought about how cool it would be if something like that could be done at Brickworld next year. Well, I decided to ‘grab the bull by the horns’ and get this project rolling. In truth, I didn’t expect it to get past 20 figs, but I asked a few people, and the post count just started to rise! Check it out here! Who should we interview next? I Scream Clone would be a good choice. Ricecracker has been an interesting contributor too. You might make for an interesting interview, I just don’t know; who would ask the questions? I had to interview myself. And cover my own death. Is Staudie annoying? (Just trying to keep the tradition alive!) He made me laugh a lot when I read all the older interviews, but he hasn’t been around in a while, so…Staudie is still annoying! Good answer. So there you have it, a good look into the private life of my friend Stash, mixed with a bit of unexpected hijinks (unexpected? you people need to watch the show more). Thanks for joining us, and be sure to keep an eye open for more specials in the future with me, your host, Zepher! ZEPHER! Cohost. ZEPHER! Guest reporter? Ok. YAY! *camera fades*