Lord-Koji

22: The only one I have time for two right now, since I have my own epic to write, I can't do them all in one sitting. Gresh has air powers? Did he ever use those? Shouldn't it be jungle? Anyway, good chapter. I liked the combat between the Jungle warriors and the illusions. Still think Certavus should have kept them around longer for the battle, so he could keep the fight going, and take care of the newcomers. 23: Cross worlds? More dimension hopping, or literally, go to other planets? If the former, I see that's your big theme as a writer (I personally use Tokusatsu elements, and more human elements, such as the entire theme of Double, police work) for BIONICLE. Soared. Stepping up the language for situations with Ackar's "bastard". Nice job with that, didn't think you wanted to use that word for EB. "was covered in sweat" should be used, or something like that, "all sweaty" is not the way to write a scene. Good job, nice battle against Certavus. Really shows his power as the part of the planet, or however you would describe the situation. The final battle sides are well set, and I'm sure this will go well, in terms of a read. I'm just hoping for no deus ex machina ending to defeat Certavus.

It's nice to have this new perspective on the Vulcanus massacre/whatever it's actually called. It was interesting to read more in depth into it. One thing I just noticed, her name is Akara(I think) in her disguise. "Aka" means "red" in Japanese, which I found amusing, since she's "Blue Savior". And yet more information on Certavus as the "big bad". Love it.

I must say, this had an idea I once had almost a year ago, when I began Chronicles. Evil Certavus. I love it. The love interests with (can't think of how to spell their names, sorry) ended well. The birds, great again. I was hoping Belirax would have a lot more damage, not dead, but scarred, like missing eye, etc. But all in all, that was a good way to go about it.

I'm saying it's appropriate for them to be the only ones in combat. Where do you see any confusion on names?

Exodus means escape, but doesn't work here. "went to the front line and into the exodus of Creep Canyon" could work, however. Anyway, good. Possible romance is nice to get hinted upon. Lords in combat, always nice to see. I see that the only ones fighting are Capulet and Montague, guess that's appropriate for the names, and probably the only ones hating each other. So, what did she do to Kiina's sword? Put it in her staff? I didn't quite catch that.

Those don't read with proper grammar, "it was about three times...", "He was covered in sweat from..." Anyway, the battle is still going? Ok. The fate of Certavus was good to see, it was nice to see how the process actually went. And the Sisters, good to see them. But since when can those three fly? And Erax's personality, by the way, I've enjoyed thus far.

So, the Skrall maze design means something deeper. It may have been said already, but I don't remember. Spirit Certavus, nice. Good flashbacks, nice to see more into Kiina's past than just hearing about it. Good chapter. How many more do you plan?

I'm more excited if we get a new, 2001/2004 esque story about more or less a rookie team of new characters in the Toa serial.

Well, this particular Montague family is Capulet, with Lord Montague being born of a Capulet man and a prostitute, which makes Romeo part Capulet, thus making Tybalt a Capulet as well. Decade.

Mercutio mentally snapped when his father was murdered.

I didn't mean it equated to Juliet killing Montague, but more as to that Juliet fought more than Romeo did, and was more competent. I mean, it's nice to see that since Kiina's the one fighting Tuma, it keeps a link towards Juliet's fighting prowess, more or less. And I won't say anything about Montague.

A fitting end for Tuma, I thought. It sounds good that Kiina was the one to defeat him, if you're paying homage that deeply into Romeo x Juliet, that she's the fiercer fighter/the one who fights more in the storyline. And it's also interesting to see the Lords at least working together...to an extent.

I mean, from a readers perspective, out of dialogue it should say "Kiina" not "Akara" (or whatever it is, I think I misspelled it). Like, "Kiina said" instead of "Akara said" (again, not sure if that's the right name).

Montague has returned, good. Interesting situation in Tesara. Though, something that bugged me was that Kiina was called by her guise's name while in it. It probably should have been done this way, characters calling her by her disguised name, and "Kiina said/whatever". It makes it sound like her guise is another character entirely.

Glad you showed us more of the combat, that was great to see. And the Aqua Magna stuff is interesting with what's happening there. One thing, the Skrall writing seemed off. It was almost too "kind". "Friends", for instance, probably wasn't the best word to use. It just felt off, the entire conversation in Roxtus.

This really makes me want to take a shot at MOCing a dropship now...

Nice to see Erax getting involved in the storyline. The war is going to start soon, which sounds good, and Erax is going to help the Glatorian. Sounds like a good series of chapters coming up.

I quit buying sets at the end of 2008. Is it worth buying Stars Tahu just for the nostalgia?

That's where you're wrong. Greg said multiple times when people brought up "When this fails, BIONICLE can be brought back!", that "If this fails, BIONICLE won't come back. The failure of the new line will only show that there's no market for buildable action figures." Paraphrased, of course.

I'll get to the DA versions when time permits and/or I actually remember them.

Sounds like Gresh is finally going to get laid. Though it didn't seem like there was much from the end of last chapter involved at the start of this one. Or maybe I misread that area. Nice to see how Ice will be involved in the upcoming war. I had been wondering on that.

If you want any ideas, or thoughts on whaat could happen, here's something: As Tajun and Tesara go to war with each other, Gresh and Kiina try to stop the fighting, but accidentally get cut down by their own sides. The two armies resign themselves to their oncoming fates, and the Skrall wipe them out as they put up a meager defense. Now that would be a good, tragic end to a Romeo and Juliet inspired story, especially since it doesn't give them overly glorious deaths.

Stabbing worked for the original. That's how Juliet kills herself. And I know you write romanticism, more or less. When you break it down, that's what it is. I guess suicide like that isn't part of romanticism.

I forgot that. But no, I don't want to know anything. That was a problem you had with prior epics, telling me too much too soon. I'm just saying, the original play had no real sacrificing, at least not in the sense of vast importance (sure, it stopped the fighting, but really, overall it's not that important). The anime had them dying to save everyone. From "sacrifice", it sounds like the latter. No problem with that, but people don't always get glorious deaths. Sometimes they just get cut down in the heat of battle. While poetically it has justice to give them some form of sacrifice, or proper, glorious death, it has no real baring in reality, and not always in great writing.

So they do sacrifice themselves it sounds like. Though, if you're going for Romeo and Juliet, then that does make sense that they would both die. I think the sacrifice thing is a bit too much like RxJ, sacrificing (possibly) to save their world.