I might have found the solution (the solution that is not too satisfying but the solution) anyway here it is, mac runs on a broadcom bluetooth connection, welp the 1.31 firmware update creates a massive incompatibility issue with the nxt and the programing system, the macbook itself might pick up the mindstorms but the program just doesnt recognise it, so it turns out I may have to buy the bluetooth dongle lego sells unless they come out for a new firmware update (those guys at labview I mean) but the most likley thing is that ill wait for ev3 and use one of those confounded cords. Here's the message I got from lego:
"http://mindstorms.lego.com/en-us/bluetooth/default.aspx
Mac Users
In most cases, your built in Bluetooth radio or Bluetooth dongle will work without any issues with the NXT 1.1 and above software. Newer Macbooks use a Broadcom® Bluetooth chip, this combination is known to cause issues between the NXT and the Mac. For instructions on how to see what Bluetooth hardware you have, click here. Our developers are working on a solution; in the meantime we suggest you use a dongle, preferably the supported Bluetooth dongle sold via our distributors on our website."
I know the link doesnt work so to fill in what they would have said go to the mac symbol in the top left of the toolbar and click on "about this mac" then in this window that comes up click "more info..." then in the bottom right of that screen click "system report" in the toolbar in the left of this new window click on "bluetooth" then the second down on the list under "manufacturer" it will tell you what device you have in my case sadly it says broadcom. I put a picture of this sad news below, if this helps anyone please let me know (so I dont have to drop 40 bucks) thanks for everyone's help