pombe Posted November 7, 2017 Posted November 7, 2017 Dramatis Personae: Spoiler Sea Rats Ethylene Glycol Professor of science. A former faculty member at a prominent Corrington university, she was dismissed after failing to have her grants and fellowships renewed as a result of years of failing to publish in peer reviewed scientific journals. Railing against the scientific institution's insistence that data obtained from experiments must be reproducible and come from well controlled rational approaches to testing a model, Professor Glycol has decided to start her own university of higher learning at the Port of Bastion, where she can do science the proper way and publish in her own independent journal with herself as the sole reviewer, unfettered by the rules of the intellectually inferior. Lucy Liu Sixth year graduate student with no publications. Bitter and jaded, with hatred for the entirety of existence, Lucy followed her advisor to the Port of Bastion, because no other faculty members would accept her as a student after being already mentored by Professor Glycol. Highly intelligent and talented, she has languished in academic hell for the past six years, trying in vain to get her advisor to adopt the practices of the other science professors. Wilhemina Savore A graduate student in civil engineering, with an interest in siegecraft. Prefers to be called Willy. Alois Bieber First year graduate student with no publications. As a former Olean soldier in the Order of Faith, he was a leader against the principles of science, when he attempted to disrupt a seminar being given by Professor Glycol. Instead, he found himself understanding her talk and becoming interested in the subject. Confused and bewildered, he spent two years soul searching until he was able to accept that he had been wrong his whole life. Alois then sought out Professor Glycol, explained his scientific enlightenment, and became her student. Oleon Harriet Schwartz A captain in the Oleon navy and a master naval tactician. She fell in love with an Oleon soldier named Alois Bieber, due to his intractable religious faith and his outspokeness against the principles of science, not to mention his super hot looks. She courted him, only to be horrified as she witnessed his turn to heresy at the hands of the blasphemous Professor Glycol. Now she is on a mission to get him back from the Sea Rats and return him to the truth of the Oleon faith, while making him hers. Helmut Dark An officer in the Oleon navy and Captain Harriet Schwartz's first officer. Professional and loyal, he follows his captain's every command, while putting up with her shortcomings. Dieter Picante A young Oleon navy officer in Captain Harriet Schwartz's crew. Previously, https://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/154926-sr-fb-nerdy-mermaid/.... Wait. I thought we were captured. How come we aren't in jail like last time? It seems instead of sending us to jail and just taking the Nerdy Mermaid, they've decided to hold an auction where we can buy our ship back. In fact, there it is, right next to the auctioneer. Well, this certainly is fancy. I can definitely feel all the money in room. Just look at the representatives of the nations! They look more like lame versions of the BoBS CMF posts that were all the rage a few weeks ago. I mean, look at this Eslandolan. He has a handlebar mustache that just tells the world that he's a perverted stalker. CREEPER! I beg your pardon! It is true. All the academic journals that have studied this subject have come to the conclusion that no one with a handlebar mustache should ever be trusted. And then there's this Corrington aristocrat lady. She's stuck a bustle so big under her dress that it might as well say "wide load" across the back. I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! Why I never! Yeah, can it, lady. Just make sure to warn others as you back up. Now, finally we've reached this old Oleon guy who is sporting this ridiculous topnot. Like seriously. A topnot on a man is super sexy said no woman ever. SO LAME, IT'S PRONOUNCED LAH-MAY! I say! I have to agree. I never understood why a topnot on either a man or a woman ever became an accepted style. It never did. Hold on. It seems the auctioneer is about to start. HEREWEHAVETHENERDYMERMAIDNERDYMERMAIDLETSSTARTTHEBIDATONEDOUBLOONONEDOUBLOONONEDOUBLOONHEYWEHAVEONEDOUBLOONNOWTWONOWTWOWILLYALLGIVEMETWODOUBLOONSWEHAVETWODOUBLOONSNOWTHREENOWTHREEWILLYALLGIVEMETHREEHEYWEHAVETHREEDOUBLOONSNOWFOURNOWFOURNOWFOURFORTHENERDYMERMAIDNOWTHREEHEYWEHAVEFOURNOWFIVEWILLYAGIVEMEFIVENOWFIVENOWFIVE... I can't understand the gobbledygook he is spewing. How are we even supposed to know how much the bid is at? It seems that the auctioneer is using the auction chant that is commonly used when auctioning off livestock, also known as the "cattle rattle". Who the heck is bidding on this thing? It's a microbuild! No one will fit in this thing. In fact, it's right there in front of them! I hope they don't think it's some sort of model for a real ship that doesn't exist. NOWFIFTYNOWFIFTYNOWFIFTYSHESAFINESHIPTHATNERDYMERMAIDWILLSOMEONEGIVEMEFIFTYHEYFIFTYNOWSIXTYNOWSIXTYGIVEMESIXTYWILLYANOWSIXTYFORTHEFINENERDYMERMAIDDOWEHAVESIXTYNOWSIXTYNOWSIXTYWEGOTSIXTYNOWSEVENTYNOWSEVENTYWILLYALLGIVEMESEVENTY... By the way, are we going to try to buy back the Nerdy Mermaid? Of course not! It's cheaper to just sistership, especially since we Sea Rats get a discount on the license. Oh, what will we name her? Scientists never come up with an imaginative name. We'll just call her the Nerdy Mermaid's Sister. SCIENTIFIC NAMING CONVENTION! Not Mark II or something similar? That would imply some sort of improvement or iteration. The Nerdy Mermaid's Sister will be identical to the Nerdy Mermaid. And besides, with this auction, my plan gets set into motion. Your plan? To rule the oceans of BoBS, of course. You see, now that we've lost the Nerdy Mermaid, we can sistership it. Then the next owner will lose the Nerdy Mermaid, perhaps to another player, and she or he will sistership it, and so on. The Nerdy Mermaid will spread through BoBS like a virus, replicating via the sistership process, and by the time the players realize what is happening, it will be too late and the Nerdy Mermaid and her sisters will have achieved total domination of BoBS! You stupid professor! What kind of idiotic plan is that and how does it help us?!?! Oh be quiet and let me revel in my genius. It seems that a player named @Umbra-Manis is currently winning the auction for the ship. Wasn't he a player in Andromeda's Gates in the Sci-Fi forum? CROSS PROMOTION! HA! What a silly player. If he wins, I'd like to see his characters board this microbuild. It's the size of a rowboat. Comments and criticisms are all welcome! Quote
Professor Thaum Posted November 7, 2017 Posted November 7, 2017 MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Pombe is always Pombe !! Thanks for this crazy auction !! The Nerdy Mermaid is as cute as the first time and the virus idea is just... Pombic /applause Quote
Darnok Posted November 7, 2017 Posted November 7, 2017 Comedy gold! Well written, and I had a good laugh. More, please! Quote
Kwatchi Posted November 7, 2017 Posted November 7, 2017 (edited) Even though I knew this was coming, I still laughed. Edited November 7, 2017 by Kwatchi Quote
Captain Dee Posted November 7, 2017 Posted November 7, 2017 Great story. And a neat scene too. The micro brig is nice and I like the lighting - it's like a museum display or something. And those faction characters... Agreed on the topknot. Quote
Bregir Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Great caricatures and as always a shattering breach of the conventions of story telling! Always puts a smile on my face! ? (You've got the sistershipping rules wrong, though. Only one person can hold the sistershipping right at any time. The buyer of the Nerdy Mermaid will not be able to sistership it once it is lost. Only you will, and only if you lose the "original" sistership, that is, the one you are licensing here... ? ) Quote
Mesabi Posted November 9, 2017 Posted November 9, 2017 And, as usual, you've knocked it out of the park with the story @pombe. Nice build too. It's a shame the Brick Seas won't be swarmed with sister ships of the Nerdy Mermaid though. Quote
blackdeathgr Posted November 10, 2017 Posted November 10, 2017 I LOVE your stories!!! On 11/7/2017 at 8:24 AM, pombe said: I say! Quote
Fraunces Posted November 19, 2018 Posted November 19, 2018 I know I should not reply, but this post is brilliant. Just browsing through old BobS post folks.. move along Quote
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