Heroica is very much a fantasy game; as much as we try to keep it realistic with all of the monsters and laws that have been put in place, there will always be these (somewhat) fictional elements that come in. There's no reason Olegia can't be equal; Bioware manages to do it pretty well regarding sexuality and equality of genders, but even to some of the most progressive thinkers, BW doesn't do enough. On the other hand, Heroica is able to adapt to what the critics (players) think relatively quickly. Just throw in a new quest and there we go. Heroica is very much our game rather than someone else's. We decide how the world plays out, and there is better player agency in making decisions. It's not just "Pick what dialogue choice", it's "Write your dialogue."
I think you do a great job of writing female characters, Sandy. And I agree, men aren't too different from women; everyone has their desires and hopes, needs, etc. The only difference is who/what is the object in question and how people achieve them. Most of my friends, gay and straight, have come to the conclusion we're basically the same as well.
I've met quite a few people in our major that have said "You can't write female characters because you're a straight, white male." It is different, mainly because traditional gender roles are ingrained in society (be that good or bad, that's a different debate) so maybe it is more difficult, but who says you can't write a blind character even if you can see. That's the beauty of art, film, writing, etc. The thing created is not real, but it's supposed to feel real, or how you perceive it would be.