Palathadric

I just look at Terry confused. "Oh, is that not said around these parts?"

"As they say, no accident happens by accident."

I look up wide-eyed. "You're like those people I rescue.

"No offense!" "You can call me 'Nightmare', because that's what I'll be to you...and in anyone else who tries to get in our way." "'Nightmare'! Cluck, cluck!" "Bribery! No, bribery and poison." The chicken, however, can't resists and clucks over to Quintessa, sampling the cupcakes. "I am not deceiving anybody. Nobody likes me anyway..." "Even with the cowl you sound funny! "I don't know about the others. If we all wanted to just run away, we could probably do that without too much difficulty. I can survive in the wild. It's in my blood. I'm a freedman. These others...weak! They need someone to look after them. That's why Pemo has such difficulty in helping them. Those who have never tasted the wild fear it. Not that I have, but...it's in my blood." "See? I warned you, stupid chicken! Poison!"

"Don't think about the difficulty of the fight but the glory that comes with the slaying of great foes."

The hen cackles, scooting closer to Cree. "Even the grumpy cat!" "Grrrr..." The pig jumps back in fright and scuffles away. Soon he is checking out Kellim. "Look at them! Here for our good, indeed!" The rabbit looks on skeptically. "Well, since you're all talking about 'rescuing' us. What's your plan? What makes you think that you can do it when others couldn't? What makes you think we can't do it ourselves? You dissin' us? Why are you trying to help in the first place?" The rabbit hesitates. "The name's Gringer. "...But if you try to use that against me, I'll...bite your fingers off."

Disposable thumbs!

I approach Thormanil slowly. "How goes the war effort, Dragoon? I hope you can find it in yourself to...forgive me." Parfenius approaches. "Why are you afraid? Be brave! You're a hero! If you die, you will die nobly!"

The owl looks suspiciously at Kheyli, "Greetings, Mistress Kheyli. I go by the name of Orhan. Why are you here with Mr Bonaparte?" "Tyranical farmers!" "Shut up!" "Yeah, right! You're probably just trying to take the farm for yourselves!" The pig comes over and begins sniffing at Quintessa's garments.

Despite fearing the worst, the heroes and Bonaparte end up making it to the barn in one piece...or five pieces in truth. They are greeted at the door by a collection of barn animals. Only Kheyli can understand. Wasn't going to use these originally, but great pictures by Wedge09 for this quest sent over 1 1/2 years ago. "Greetings, Mr Bonaparte!" "Please do come in quickly so no one will spot you." "Bonaparte!" "What are they doing here?" "These are our guests. They believe in our cause." "Humans! Never trust humans." The animals watch the party curiously. "I have to check who is around and what's in order. Can you wait here and try not to get into trouble? Perhaps you should chat with some of the others. If you can get on their good side, it would certainly be a bonus." What would the heroes like to do?

That ending to 142. I knew that the Triffid was sent on purpose. Poor Petaldan is too simple to understand that though.

"Oh, um...really? I mean, he's actually new. I don't know him very well in truth. But it's good to hear that he's loyal. Sometimes one has a profound effect on ones said one doesn't know too well." Bonaparte laughs loudly. "Ha, ha! No. These sewers don't lead all the way to the barn, unfortunately, but they should lead us out of the more densely populated areas at least. Once out, with this cloak I should be able to get by without too much difficulty, so long as we don't do something stupid like run into someone." Some of the party switches their gear around a bit. Party: Kheyli (K-Nut) 327 years old female Fairy Level 5 Barbarian Power: 10 Health: 12/12 Gold: 350 Equipment: Gelum Blade (WP:5, Ice-elemental, ignores SP of foes weak to Ice, cannot be disimbued; greatsword), Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Inventory: Weapons: Rat Club (WP:5, deals Afraid to Vermin-type enemies and Poisoned-by-1 to enemies of all types; club), Electrum Blade (WP:5, Lightning-elemental, ignores SP of foes weak to Lightning, cannot be disimbued; greatsword), Barrager (WP:3 Greatsword) Artifacts: Cultist Cap (regular attacks do damage to Undead; headwear, suitable to anyone), Magic Viper Skin (Restores 1 HP to wearer each round of battle unless knocked out; accessory), Really Hard Helmet (SP: 2, Immunity to Earth, Headwear; Loaned from Kellim), Consumables: Potion x4, Mead, Poison Bomb, Aeolus Bomb (Deals 100 wind-elemental damage to all opponents when used.), Bucket of Buffalo Wings (Max. Health +3 when consumed) Keliim "Demon sworn" *Party Leader!*(Mencot) 37 year old male Human Level 13 Barbarian Power: 18 Health: 20/20 SP: 2 (4 to Free Hits) Gold: 4 Equipment: Dwarven Orichalcum one handed battleaxe (WP: 5, Axe), Heroic Helm (SP: 2, Helm's SP doubles on free hits, Headwear), Gauntlets of Recklessness (Hits become Mortal Hits, adding lost health to attack power; handwear) Inventory: Weapons and Shields: Artifacts: Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear)Wolfish Fedora (+5 WP for each standing hero with Wolfgang reputation and Wolfgang NPC in the party, headwear, suitable for heroes with Wolfgang reputation), Королева's Blessing (When equipped the player gains the ability to Animal Speak to Spiders only, and all spiders are Enamored with him for the first three rounds of battle, accessory), Trickster's Mask of the Gender-Swap (swaps the wearer's gender when worn, suitable for anyone, accessory) Consumables: 10x Potion, 2x Grand Potion, Remedy, 4x Mead, Smelling Salts, 2x Smoke Bomb, Venom, Dirt Bomb, 5x Holy Bombs, Double Rainbow (Gives the user the encouraged, lucky, poisoned by 1, and confused effects), Crimson Haze (Causes a weapon to deal the poisoned by 7 and cursed effects permanently), 2x Obsidian Shard (may be affixed to a blunt weapon to give the Bleeding 2 effect for one battle), 2x Charion beetle horn. Tools: Shovel Quintessa of Heartland (Sandy) 67 years old human female Barbarian Level 2 *Immune to fragile* Power: 5 Defense: 5 Health: 9/9 Gold: 60 Equipment: Rolling Pin (WP:3, club), Heavy Armour (SP:5, protects from fragile-effect, suitable for barbarians, knights, dragoons, skirmishers, regulators and vindicators; bodywear.) Inventory: Artifacts: Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Consumables: Grand Potion, 5x Potion, 4x Remedy, Phoenix Essence, Mead, Smelling Salts, Nostrum, 2x Smoke Bomb, Candycane of Doomed (Causes *Doomed* effect to the target when used; Breaks after 6 uses) Tools: Shovel, Pickaxe, Magnifying Glass, Telescope, Magic Compass Cree (Pedguin) *Hastened* *Nimble* 27 year old Mopag Level 2 Knight Power: 7 Defense: 2 Health: 11/11 Gold: 0 Equipment: Order Imperial Longsword (WP: 5; Loaned from Kellim), Scarab Shield: (SP: 3, Bearer takes half damage from vermin; Loaned from Kellim), Speed Cape (The wearer is permanently *Hastened* and *Nimble*, but rolls of 3 turn into Miss; backwear) Inventory: Weapons and Shields: Blade (WP: 3, greatsword), Shield of Defending (SP: 2), Artifacts: Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Consumables: Potion x2, Venom, Holy Bomb Tools: Bedroll

I sit down to carry out my translation of the Good Book only to see it has been done for me with a Grogmas note attached. I am left puzzled and wondering who could be the convert in the hall who did so much good work for me.

Party: Kheyli (K-Nut) 327 years old female Fairy Level 5 Barbarian Power: 10 Health: 12/12 Gold: 350 Equipment: Gelum Blade (WP:5, Ice-elemental, ignores SP of foes weak to Ice, cannot be disimbued; greatsword), Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Inventory: Weapons: Rat Club (WP:5, deals Afraid to Vermin-type enemies and Poisoned-by-1 to enemies of all types; club), Electrum Blade (WP:5, Lightning-elemental, ignores SP of foes weak to Lightning, cannot be disimbued; greatsword), Barrager (WP:3 Greatsword) Artifacts: Cultist Cap (regular attacks do damage to Undead; headwear, suitable to anyone), Magic Viper Skin (Restores 1 HP to wearer each round of battle unless knocked out; accessory), Really Hard Helmet (SP: 2, Immunity to Earth, Headwear; Loaned from Kellim), Consumables: Potion x4, Mead, Poison Bomb, Aeolus Bomb (Deals 100 wind-elemental damage to all opponents when used.), Bucket of Buffalo Wings (Max. Health +3 when consumed) Keliim "Demon sworn" *Party Leader!*(Mencot) 37 year old male Human Level 13 Barbarian Power: 18 Health: 20/20 SP: Gold: 4 Equipment: Dwarven Orichalcum one handed battleaxe (WP: 5, Axe), Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Inventory: Weapons and Shields: Artifacts: Heroic Helm (SP:2, Helm's SP doubles on free hits, Headwear), Wolfish Fedora (+5 WP for each standing hero with Wolfgang reputation and Wolfgang NPC in the party, headwear, suitable for heroes with Wolfgang reputation), Gauntlets of Recklessness (Hits become Mortal Hits, adding lost health to attack power; handwear), Королева's Blessing (When equipped the player gains the ability to Animal Speak to Spiders only, and all spiders are Enamored with him for the first three rounds of battle, accessory), Trickster's Mask of the Gender-Swap (swaps the wearer's gender when worn, suitable for anyone, accessory) Consumables: 10x Potion, 2x Grand Potion, Remedy, 4x Mead, Smelling Salts, 2x Smoke Bomb, Venom, Dirt Bomb, 5x Holy Bombs, Double Rainbow (Gives the user the encouraged, lucky, poisoned by 1, and confused effects), Crimson Haze (Causes a weapon to deal the poisoned by 7 and cursed effects permanently), 2x Obsidian Shard (may be affixed to a blunt weapon to give the Bleeding 2 effect for one battle), 2x Charion beetle horn. Tools: Shovel Quintessa of Heartland (Sandy) 67 years old human female Barbarian Level 2 *Immune to fragile* Power: 5 Defense: 5 Health: 9/9 Gold: 60 Equipment: Rolling Pin (WP:3, club), Heavy Armour (SP:5, protects from fragile-effect, suitable for barbarians, knights, dragoons, skirmishers, regulators and vindicators; bodywear.) Inventory: Artifacts: Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Consumables: Grand Potion, 5x Potion, 4x Remedy, Phoenix Essence, Mead, Smelling Salts, Nostrum, 2x Smoke Bomb, Candycane of Doomed (Causes *Doomed* effect to the target when used; Breaks after 6 uses) Tools: Shovel, Pickaxe, Magnifying Glass, Telescope, Magic Compass Cree (Pedguin) 27 year old Mopag Level 2 Knight Power: 5 Defense: 2 Health: 11/11 Gold: 0 Equipment: Order Imperial Longsword (WP: 5; Loaned from Kellim), Scarab Shield: (SP: 3, Bearer takes half damage from vermin; Loaned from Kellim), Sylvania's Cowl (Grants "Animal Talk", Headwear) Inventory: Weapons and Shields: Blade (WP: 3, greatsword), Shield of Defending (SP: 2), Artifacts: Speed Cape (The wearer is permanently *Hastened* and *Nimble*, but rolls of 3 turn into Miss; backwear) Consumables: Potion x2, Venom, Holy Bomb Tools: Bedroll

Pemo's gutteral laugh fills the room. "I should like to see that! No, unfortunately I will not require that of you. There are ways.... I'm sure we'll think of something when we get there. The animals need to learn to respect you while also seeing you as people who want to help them. There will be a meeting of animals at the farm. In fact, we may as well start heading there now." Bonaparte gets up and the heroes follow him out of his "office" in the sewer. Before too long, they are making their way down the sewers, presumably in the direction of the farmhouse. "I wish I could offer you a better, cleaner means of transportation, but I'm sure you understand the need for ... this. Even my coming out to the farm tonight will be a risk. Not only for me, but for you as well. If the farmers are to come in, they will no doubt suspect you, but the rewards of a successful quest will be well worth it. We simply have to do it. "...Anyway, enough about me and my mission. Do you all know each other from before, or are you meeting for the first time? I hope you found Cheapy a capable guide?"

Cree's and Actaeon's artifacts are really good too. Definitely have a bit of re-balancing to do, battle-wise.

Awesome gifts. I hope Bricksandparts likes the Trampler's Boots as much as I enjoyed giving them to him.

I stroll into the hall, whistling a merry tune. "What a fine day's work we had," I say happily, cleaning the slime off my sword. Strolling over to the quest board, I notice Quest #147. "This looks like the perfect quest for someone of my experience." I promptly sign-up.

"My parents always said that we should be kind to those we hurt accidentally, even if we don't like them so much. I'm sure you could just explain that to your friends. I'm sure they have mommies and daddies who taught them good things too. I don't know if I want to be friends with somebody who doesn't like to be a friend, but I'm sure that I will help you as our friendship grows." I smile politely and kiss Madame Ladybug's hand. "Thank you, captain. You've been ever so kind. I'm sorry that you didn't get to see Torald's big bang, but I was a little worried that the slime men would kill us first before you could make it. There were so many of them and they were surprisingly well prepared for a fight. If all theieves are so well-equipped in this city, I can only imagine the job you have to do. You're almost like a hero too." I kiss the captain's hand as well. "Thank you for your support in all this. I'm glad we could get you those leaves. I can't say I look forward to tasting whatever you prepare with them though. I don't usually eat the things I fight..." My face scrunches up in disgust. Turning to Phoebe, "If we have a celebration in the hall, I'll be sure to invite you." Phoebe gets a kiss on the hand too. Passing Frau-Frau's head, I turn to Waldorf. "Thank you for calling us. I liked working with you. Please call us any time you need help. We live to serve. Thank you for the gem too. I'm not sure I know what to do with it, but I'm sure someone would be very happy to have it."

"But what is a name exactly? A name is just a label we put on people. I call myself Bonaparte. Am I wrong to do so? My masters gave me no name. They thought that I was just an intelligent pig, but a pig like all the others. They did not know. Naturally, when I became...independent, I had to find something to call myself by, so I chose Bonaparte. Why? I don't know. Some may even say that I had a Bonapartic mind in me. Who can say? But here I am. I hope my choice of name does not offend you. Besides, it turned out to be helpful for my gathering recruits." "They most definitely are still out there. And one day I hope to find them and demand answers, but, unfortunately, that day is not today. I would like to see the looks on their faces when I stand over them and they see what they have...erm...spawned. Maybe on that day I shall even recruit you to help so you can ask whatever questions you wish, but...that is for another time, another day. I do not know whether my mind was ever...uh...alive?...before it was put in my body. I certainly don't remember it. Perhaps it was just the mind of an infant. I cannot say. But I do not that it took some years for me to be 'tutored' if you could call it that."

All along, Kintobor was just acting. She is secretly a U'kin in disguise.

"To show your good will, perhaps you should think about sending gifts to the mages that were affected by this Triffid. I am sorry to say that some people have guessed that it may have been released on purpose, so a nice gift might smooth all the hurt feelings...hopefully. That should be all...I think." I look questioningly at the others.

"Quite right. Quite right." "I am sorry if I am not the Bonaparte you were expecting. Cheapy offered to use his name for the notice in the hall, but alas, few heroes would have accepted a quest from someone with a name like Cheapy and we had to attract interest because of the direness of the situation. Bonapare throws out a paw to the queen. "The pleasure is mine! I should have known heroes would want to get down to business at once. Ahem! Let's see here. Where to begin? ... "...Ah, well, yes, um...you see. Many years ago. I'm not sure how long exactly. Some people, forgive me that I don't know what exactly they were, I never found out...they could have been alchemists, they could have been wizards...but they attempted to store a human mind in an animal head. The reason for doing so was so that they could have a few animals watch over their farms, which would prevent them from needing to pay workers, and they could enjoy the produce without the many limitations most farmers face. There was more to it, of course, than that, I believe, but that much seems true. Another version is that someone was trying to bred an army and it didn't work out so well, so in the end we were just sold to local farmers, but I cannot say for a fact. "In any case, after many failed experiments with other farm animals, they finally succeeded to a certain degree with, as you may have guessed by now, me. It's a strange tale, but from the time I was young, I found myself working on a farm, helping the farm communicate his instructions to the animals and looking over the farm for him when he was too lazy to do anything. "It was a torrid experience! Not only did I slave away for nothing, due to my master's teachings, I learned of his intentions. I understood when he meant to slaughter animals for sacrifices or feasts and I stood by and watched as he dealt punishments on disobedient animals. Such cruelty!" A tear wends its way down Bonaparte's face. "The farmers didn't realize that with my mind, came emotions. They thought I was some lifeless beast, but I knew I could feel. What was more, I knew what the animals were feeling, but I could do nothing. All I had learned all my life was how to serve. But then, things changed. I learned things from conversations and from watching my masters. I knew for long what I felt in my heart to be right or wrong, but now I knew that I could do something about it and, furthermore, it would not be difficult to do, if I could only gather the support. "I made my intentions known to some of the animals, but instead of supporting me, they cast me away for fear that the masters would destroy them all if they followed my plans. I wandered the countryside for a long while, until I finally met up with another one just like me. Pimky is his name. Together we planned together how we would rescue our people from the tyranny of their oppressors. "Unfortunately, all of our greater efforts were in vain. However, we did manage to to find many among the groups who believed our philosophy and thought it possible. My guards, Gus and Lem, are among those, as is Cheapy. Many plans have been laid, but there is one final step. The animals need to believe that they can seize this freedom. They need to know that they are not alone in their fight. That is why I've hired you. The animals will want to see humans who understand my vision and know it to be true. Furthermore, they need a sign, that is the main reason for your purpose here. "Now, your first assignment will be to head to the meeting of animals from a farm near here. You will have to show your "loyalty" to the cause, for their sake. After that, you will meet with Pimky himself and he will fill you in on the details of how to acquire this "sign" that the animals seek. He knows about that sort of stuff more than me, you see. "So...any more questions?"

"Let's go then." I then turn to Shaun. "Look at the new sword I just got!"

"Probably poison." The heroes follow Cheapy through the open door behind the guard dogs and are greeted by a rather strange sight. The large pig in front of them rises and speaks in perfect common, "Greetings, heroes of Heroica! It is a pleasure to host you here. Forgive the mess. I am not in the place that I would like to be at present. Excuse my guard dogs. They are given strict orders to prevent the entrance of any strangers. I do hope you can find it in yourselves to pardon their rude mannerisms. They have not been trained by the kindest of masters, but that is why they work with me to bring about my vision. ...But I know you must be brimming with questions, so let me not make my introductions too long. Yes, in case you were wondering, I am your employer; Mister Pemo Bonaparte himself." Cheapy scuttles about nervously. "Will that be all, Mister Bonaparte?" "For now, yes, though I will need you later on, so don't be too far from here." Cheapy exits the room. "Now, where were we? Ah, yes, any questions?"