We interrupt your normal programming, for this astonishing news bulletin. Grave robbers have discovered that Stauder, is not dead, but rather got lost by the baggage handlers at the airport. Having found a return address, they mailed him back to the studio.
*Stauder fiddles around with a microphone*
So when does our first new show air?
Well, we need a week to set up the traps for the victims guests, so we have someone to interview, so next week sometime.
Er, guys, we're broadcasting this live...
No we aren't, otherwise we'd have a guest here...
See that little flasing light, the one that says "Broadcasting LIVE", yeah...
*sigh* I'll cut to archive footage...
Ladies and gentlemen, we will be showing a re-run today, have a g-
We do have some un-aired footage you know... Eldegibberish was never aired.
We do? Oh yeah, glad I thought of it, cut to the ta-
*Scene is blank for a moment*
And Action!
I could swear we had you on EB News already. No? Oh well...
A bit late to ask that isn't it? He's here so do your damn job. You're not payed for nothing.
Wait, I'm pay-
*whack*
You know you're not supposed to say that word.
A note to the viewers, in fact this interview had been in development hell (ie: Stauder's inbox) for about a year now.
Q. Erdbeereis. Did your cat walk over the keyboard when thinking up a username? I mean, HONESTLY!
No, don't have any pets. Maybe it was my brother... Erdbeereis means strawberry ice cream in German , and I was born in Germany (my dad is German and we visit there every year.), so I thought it would be a fun name. It's tough to learn, but you can just call me Erdy like everyone else does.
No brainer there, ask some real questions.
Q. Arr, so yee bee a pirate mod or some sort of doo-hickey?
Yep. It's a lot of fun working with all of the other great staff members. Well, when we have time to work between all of the goofing around.
Who said my name?
He said Doo-Hickey, not Do-Hinckley.
Great. First episode of 2010 2011, and we are already on the FCC put us on their black list already because of one little innuendo... Great...
Someone get this man kid some hot coco before he starts to cry...
I have some marshmallows if you want...
Q. What do ye do in said Pirate forum?
I take care of the Land Based MOC index and the reviews index. Take care of general forum stuff like closing and renaming threads, helping run the great contests we have, Etc.
Q. Tell us abit about the history of the pirate line. What do you prefer, new Pirates or Classic Pirates?
There once was a genius Danish guy who was fond of wearing an eyepatch, and carrying a parrot. He insisted that the company he worked for (LEGO), make a Pirate themed line of sets, or else he would blow them to bits with his cannon. His name, was Blakjeld Beardsiansen.
Ok ok, never mind.
*Stauder looks at Shadows*
It sounded like a cool name at the time, ok?
I like different things about the 2 eras. The minifigs in the new sets are simply awesome. The old minifigs have the classic look which is also nice to have, but detail-wise the new minifigs win by a long way.
On the other hand, the actual set part of the old line I prefer. More of it was brick-built, very few technic pins, and they had the nice solid build. A lot of sets these days look nice from the outside, but upon further inspection you can see a lot of flaws. The new Solider's Fort and Brickbeard's Bounty sets are excellent, but they somehow feel a little "empty" if that makes any sense.
Q. What would your 3 favorite sets would be?
That's tough, I really enjoy most sets, but some are also better in regards to pieces for MOCing than others which for me sets the best apart from the rest. Let's see, not necessarily in order (also, only sets that I own.):
Green Grocer (and really all of the modular sets, but right now GG is the only one I own. I hope to get the Grand Emporium.)
The Agents Mobile Command Center one of of my favorites. I'm a sucker for large vehicles or spaceships that have a great interior.
Brickbeard's Bounty, because I always wanted a cool LEGO Pirate Ship.
Q. Tell us about the amazingly-fantastic-moment of time that ever occured. (in relation to LEGO)
When I first got promoted to staff was really nice. But my favorite moment was when I won 2 prizes in the first Pillage the Village contest. I had never really won any sort of contest (besides in sports) before, so that made me ecstatic. I did a few happy laps around my house.
Q. Does such a moment exist here on EB?
Of-course it does! He's on EB News!
Who's got the ego problems now? Huh? Is it me? Yeah! I bet it is me! Me. Hinckley. And not them. Whoever they are. Hi Sinner!
*Hinckley runs off*
Why do we pay security again?
Q. Care to tell the community about some of the more interesting things going down in the pirate forum?
Well, right now we have the Bayonets at Dawn contest going on, which has some fantastic prizes. The review and MOC indexes are going strong, and later this year we have another very special thing planned, which should be fantastic and HUGE.
(Editor's note: As mentioned before, this was filmed a year ago; I'm sure it was awesome though.)
Q. Am I annoying?
Of course not.
Pf.
Q. Why do you think EB News won't stay dead?
Because you're not annoying, and because EB News gives us something great to laugh at.
Actually the real answer explains why everyone in the studio is allergic to garlic, but that's for a different interview.
Q. Who should we put in the hot seat next time?
I would love to see Svelte, or maybe I Scream Clone.
I scream, you scream we all scream for eye cream.
What that doesn't even-Oh nevermind, cue the credits.
Starring:
Stauder: As Himself
Shadows: As Herself
Edleragjashd: As Strawberry Icecream
That's it.
That's the end of the interview.
No there is not anything more.
Shoo.
Oh fine, here's an old group photo.
The subliminal messages were sponsored by EB News HR department. You want to give us a low rating so we can sell all our stock and liquidate all employees uh, company resources. Those liquidated employees sure make good non-dairy creamer...
*static*