[MOC] The Swamp Witch (post-Heroica Contest feedback)

[Ragnar_Deerslayer]

This is the entry I did for the recent Heroica building contest. Since it's only the second MOC I've ever posted online, I'm posting it here, for feedback and specific help on how to improve it. (I just joined Avalonia in GoH, so I want to improve my technique!)

The Swamp Witch (With “Flick-Fire” Guardian Swamp Toad!)

Deep in the swamps of western Murkwood, where the stream flows down to the foot of the mountain, you can find her. Some say she was born of magic, crawling from the slime of the swamp. Some say she was a beautiful princess, cursed by an enchanted mirror for her narcissism. Some say she eats the flesh of children and unwary travelers. Others say she can be bargained with. All say she's a powerful witch that can brew a potion to solve any problem . . . if you can pay the price.

Jack Trumbull was at the end of his strength. He had been lost for three days in the swamps, and was out of water. He had long ago despaired of his quest – his brother was wasting away from a magical disease, cursed by a powerful sorcerer he had unintentionally offended on his last visit to Eubric Freeport. Jack was no hero, just a village farmhand. He couldn't afford the powerful magics for sale in Eubric, but he had heard of someone (something?) else that could help him.

Then – was that the flicker of a flame up ahead? It looked different than the “fairy lights” that appeared in the swamp at night. Or maybe it was his fevered brain deceiving him. He moved closer, sliding through a narrow gap in the rocks. He saw her – rough planks made a narrow boardwalk over the water, and the witch, back turned, was stirring a cauldron over a fire some distance away. He gulped and began to approach, not noticing the pair of eyes that watched his every step.

He made it halfway across the planks before a huge, slimy mass launched itself at his face.

“RRRRIBBBIT!” croaked the witch's guardian swamp toad.

“AAAAAH!” shouted Jack in confusion as he lost his balance and fell off the planks and into the muck of the swamp.

As he staggered to his feet, shaking with fear and spitting the mud out of his mouth, the swamp witch turned and smiled – a vicious, saw-toothed smile of a predator. She opened her mouth and began to speak, in a ragged, croaking voice:

“I know why you have come. I can give you the potion you need – for a price.

You must steal for me the reflection of a beautiful princess, who has never yet seen her own face!”

Jack approaches the Swamp Witch:

The Swamp Witch stirs her brew while Jack watches in fear and trepidation!

The stream cascades over the rocks as the Swamp Toad prepares to attack!

Thank you in advance - I appreciate your advice!

Ragnar

[kermit]

Nice moc. You have packed so much detail into this little scene for example, a waterfall, river, mountain and swamp.

[jimmynick]

The tiled surface makes the colours in the swamp a bit blocky. You could try building it in a SNOT fashion so you can work the plates in dimensions of plates rather than studs. Using more of those foliage pieces would probably help, as well, to give an organic feel to the swamp.

[mpoh98]

Nice little scene!

[Deathleech]

I agree with jamesn, some more texture on the swamp would make it feel more realistic and life like. Doing water different colors helps, but all flat doesn't really give any depth. Real water has ripples, waves, etc. Cheese slopes and SNOt are great for achieving this. Also, just try to add more detail in general to the foliage and rocks to make it feel more like a lush jungle or swamp.