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MKJoshA

[SoNE Freebuild 13] "Welcome to Fondor"

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OoC: See the rest of the story:

Season 1

Season 2

Junker's Fee

Since my credits were starting to run low I had to land the Rough Edges in one of the mass, orbital parking garages and take a public shuttle to the surface. There I had to go through Fondor’s customs checkpoint. Since they were one of the Empire’s main ship building yards security had to be high, especially since there were so many transient workers between the shipyards in space and the factories on the planet.

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I waited in line for hours before it was my turn to get scanned and proceed through the checkpoint. The waiting gave me time to get used to all the bald Fondorians. They weren’t actually bald, all Fondorians are born without hair. Their DNA is almost the same as the average human, but somewhere along the way their DNA reacted to the different levels of radiation on the planet leaving them mostly hairless.

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I also got used to hearing Mandalorian swear-words as I was waiting in line between a group of bounty hunters who knew the language. I couldn’t tell if they were all from Mandalor, but they had the manners and the beskar'gam armor to go with it so I figured they probably were.

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After I got through the scanner I overheard one of the bounty hunters yelling at the Fondorian Security Officer (FSO). “What do you mean I can’t kriff’n bring the crate through until after the floor plating is replaced!

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The droid had been working on some of the wiring for the past 10 minutes or so which interrupted the flow of traffic a little if you weren’t bringing anything through, and a lot if you were.

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I didn’t want to get involved in any disputes involving bounty hunters in general and Mandalorians specifically. So I slipped past them and out onto Fondor’s surface.

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OoC: Comments welcome!

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I like this a lot, from the laser gates to the nice use of the round tile as a body scanner!

Appreciate the effort on the back story as well on the fondorians. are they a known species in the sw universe?

just a suggestion, for a high security place, may I suggest wall mounted cameras or mini turrets? :)

Edited by Pointblank

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Looks great this MOC "studio" :D.

Also an nice stroy and many good details in your build.

markus

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Wow, I really think you're getting better with each build! This scene is really nice with some interesting figure combinations. Maybe you could add even more figs, to represent the crowd more and nt only have mandalorians in line but also some civilians and some other species, to make it more SW. The hole in the floor is excellent and the build is very clean and smooth. From this aspect I think it's much better than your Tatooine one. The only things I'm not too fond of is the trans orange lasers mixed with trans red and the trans clear parts under the seat and the computer. I don't know are those objects supposed to be in the air? But I think there's no need for that and any other solid color would do better. Also I wouldn't make the wall with laser doors feel cut out from the rest of the wall - no cheese slope and add another line of plates under the tiles. This way the wall would seem more connected to the side wall and the gray tiles would also be connected on the top for a more solid build ...

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I like this a lot, from the laser gates to the nice use of the round tile as a body scanner!

Appreciate the effort on the back story as well on the fondorians. are they a known species in the sw universe?

just a suggestion, for a high security place, may I suggest wall mounted cameras or mini turrets? :)

That's a good suggestion. I hadn't thought of the mini-turrets before. As for the Fondorians, they are a species from the EU. So who knows if they will ever become "canon." They show up in a number of books and video games, especially their shipyards.

Cool MOC, and great story!

Thank you!

Looks great this MOC "studio" :D.

Also an nice stroy and many good details in your build.

Thank you Markus!

Wow, I really think you're getting better with each build! This scene is really nice with some interesting figure combinations. Maybe you could add even more figs, to represent the crowd more and nt only have mandalorians in line but also some civilians and some other species, to make it more SW. The hole in the floor is excellent and the build is very clean and smooth. From this aspect I think it's much better than your Tatooine one. The only things I'm not too fond of is the trans orange lasers mixed with trans red and the trans clear parts under the seat and the computer. I don't know are those objects supposed to be in the air? But I think there's no need for that and any other solid color would do better. Also I wouldn't make the wall with laser doors feel cut out from the rest of the wall - no cheese slope and add another line of plates under the tiles. This way the wall would seem more connected to the side wall and the gray tiles would also be connected on the top for a more solid build ...

It's always been my goal to keep improving, I'm glad that it's working :grin: I didn't add more figs because I wanted these particular ones to be remembered since they are going to show up in some of my latter builds. The orange lasers are there because I ran out of trans-red :hmpf_bad: I don't have enough Sith lightsabers I guess :tongue: The trans-clear parts are because I wanted them to look like they were floating. I'm not sure how to fix that apart from using different trans-clear parts in a different way. I do like your suggestion for the wall. As always, thanks for the detailed critique. And finally, I really like your new uniform. Way to always keep your character fresh :thumbup:

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Wow, this build lives up to the expectations you have been building!

It's a nice variation from the ragged Tattooine to this very smooth build. The very clean, almost clinical atmosphere really give it the waiting-room-feeling, and that's perfect for this scene. Yet, it doesn't become boring at all with so many great things to look at. The orange was a very nice touch, and the white line running all along the corridor is a nice design feature that ties the two rooms in you MOC together: well played. Also, the back wall has some nice details with the lightsabers and the antenna pieces that seem to be popping up in all of your freebuilds lately. the angled border is an intelligent feature that fits seamlessly into the scene (although lowering it a place migth look better because of that black shadow right now), and in my eyes it is one of the details that shows how you've progressed in MOCcing. In fact, everything in this scene is well integrated, even the maintenance area. The grid is a nice choice, and somehow the flashy colors look very realistic. The safety cones around it are a cute feature. Adding some more equipment for the droid, or even the replacement panel placed against the wall would bring it more to life, and make it less like a gaping (but beautiful) hole everybody is just gazing at. All the way at the back, those detailed columns of complicated curve pieces look really nice, and make me wonder why you didn't include them in other parts of the build, and kind of hid it there. They could be of good use giving the panels a more rigid look. And finally... :thumbup: for the NPU with that fist piece. I'll remember that one, thank you very much.

Despite all the beautiful parts, I can still point out some things that could do with some improvement. Like the top border of the MOC. The use of cheese slopes is nice and all, but the different colors are a bit over the top here. Sure they add more detail, but they don't add more sophistication, being a simple variation between colors. Furthermore, There seems to be no functional pattern in them, and they take away from the main focus of the build. Instead of playing with colors, playing with textures would have been more subtle here. So I would have liked to see a plain grey strip of cheese, but with e.g. some clips in logical places (consequently above the pipes and tubes for instance). Another remark on color: while it's nice to break things up, I think the colors are a bit too scattered now. On the angled piece for example, you have grey going to white going to grey going to white. Bigger patches of colors would give the eye more rest, and could be used to express functional coherence between certain elements (whatever that may mean :tongue: ). Also (but we're really going into little details right now), something about the windows is bugging me. Maybe it's the rather chaotic pins you see that contrast on a deep level with the smoothness of the build. There's a remedy for this however: You could take bigger panels (or a smaller viewport), and place it behind the wall, making it so that the top and bottom cannot be seen. This would result in some very clean windows, and you would have more free space for an optional frame. But thinking about it (smoothing the harsh corners with cheese slopes wouldn't be a bad idea, I think), I'm not sure if i would even notice if there were no windows at all, so you could spare yourself the bother in that case. I also agree with MstrOfPppts about the rays and the trans clear pieces. you might not have more red lightsaber bars, but placing the orange parts next to each other, e.g. right in the middle, or one at each end would give some symmetry to it, and it could be easier to accept. Or you could just delete the top and bottom bar, since they don't really add a lot to the security, and only consume energy! You could create the floating effect without trans pieces. In fact, you have the ideal situation: you could somhow attach the chair and the console to the wall, and photograph it so that the connection isn't visible.

Well, that's about all I have to say. I thinks it's a wonderful MOC, and I'm looking forward to see the positive trend in your builds continue.

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Wow, this build lives up to the expectations you have been building!

It's a nice variation from the ragged Tattooine to this very smooth build. The very clean, almost clinical atmosphere really give it the waiting-room-feeling, and that's perfect for this scene. Yet, it doesn't become boring at all with so many great things to look at. The orange was a very nice touch, and the white line running all along the corridor is a nice design feature that ties the two rooms in you MOC together: well played. Also, the back wall has some nice details with the lightsabers and the antenna pieces that seem to be popping up in all of your freebuilds lately. the angled border is an intelligent feature that fits seamlessly into the scene (although lowering it a place migth look better because of that black shadow right now), and in my eyes it is one of the details that shows how you've progressed in MOCcing. In fact, everything in this scene is well integrated, even the maintenance area. The grid is a nice choice, and somehow the flashy colors look very realistic. The safety cones around it are a cute feature. Adding some more equipment for the droid, or even the replacement panel placed against the wall would bring it more to life, and make it less like a gaping (but beautiful) hole everybody is just gazing at. All the way at the back, those detailed columns of complicated curve pieces look really nice, and make me wonder why you didn't include them in other parts of the build, and kind of hid it there. They could be of good use giving the panels a more rigid look. And finally... :thumbup: for the NPU with that fist piece. I'll remember that one, thank you very much.

Despite all the beautiful parts, I can still point out some things that could do with some improvement. Like the top border of the MOC. The use of cheese slopes is nice and all, but the different colors are a bit over the top here. Sure they add more detail, but they don't add more sophistication, being a simple variation between colors. Furthermore, There seems to be no functional pattern in them, and they take away from the main focus of the build. Instead of playing with colors, playing with textures would have been more subtle here. So I would have liked to see a plain grey strip of cheese, but with e.g. some clips in logical places (consequently above the pipes and tubes for instance). Another remark on color: while it's nice to break things up, I think the colors are a bit too scattered now. On the angled piece for example, you have grey going to white going to grey going to white. Bigger patches of colors would give the eye more rest, and could be used to express functional coherence between certain elements (whatever that may mean :tongue: ). Also (but we're really going into little details right now), something about the windows is bugging me. Maybe it's the rather chaotic pins you see that contrast on a deep level with the smoothness of the build. There's a remedy for this however: You could take bigger panels (or a smaller viewport), and place it behind the wall, making it so that the top and bottom cannot be seen. This would result in some very clean windows, and you would have more free space for an optional frame. But thinking about it (smoothing the harsh corners with cheese slopes wouldn't be a bad idea, I think), I'm not sure if i would even notice if there were no windows at all, so you could spare yourself the bother in that case. I also agree with MstrOfPppts about the rays and the trans clear pieces. you might not have more red lightsaber bars, but placing the orange parts next to each other, e.g. right in the middle, or one at each end would give some symmetry to it, and it could be easier to accept. Or you could just delete the top and bottom bar, since they don't really add a lot to the security, and only consume energy! You could create the floating effect without trans pieces. In fact, you have the ideal situation: you could somhow attach the chair and the console to the wall, and photograph it so that the connection isn't visible.

Well, that's about all I have to say. I thinks it's a wonderful MOC, and I'm looking forward to see the positive trend in your builds continue.

Thank you as always for your input BEAVeR! I'm really glad you are enjoying my builds :wub: I had thought about adding flooring plates near the robot but it left little room for the minifigures. And the build was already almost too crowded as it is! Those are some good suggestions you have about the cheese slopes and colors throughout the build. I still have issues trying to balance my habit of having too much of something or not enough of it in my builds. Just means more room for imporvement. Onwards and upwards!

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