[O - I06] Pain in the butt

[pombe]

Location: I06 - Yetornius

Tags: Exploration, Land Vehicle, Spaceship, Fleet Bonus

Dramatis Personae:

 

Octan

Pombe

Courageous, wise, and a gentleman extraordinaire, Pombe leads his intrepid team of explorers on adventurous adventures, in the name of profit for the Octan corporation and its shareholders. His list of achievements is long, from mentoring the now super undercover Octan explorer, Isabel Novak, to destroying all the cacti on New California, to rescuing Octan employees captured by aliens in Sinden's Run and recovering their pants from the dastardly "jeans stealers". He credits his success to his following in the footsteps of his explorer idols, Lu Caslaug-Hing and Wick Nole, even though Wick Nole is really an engineer. Despite Pombe's accomplishments, he still somehow gets reported to HR consistently by Dr. Danielle Long, whose ship, the O.C.S. Axle, Pombe and his team have taken residence aboard. His sister, Pombie, is a special forces agent for the rival M.A.N.T.I.S. corporation.

Eshey Reeshia Kolai

Pragmatic and logical, Eshey is Pombe's second apprentice, after Isabel Novak. Prior to joining Octan, she was a popular deejay and an absolute beast on the turntables. She applied to Octan, because she wanted a more stable income. She was taken on by Pombe as a temporary hire, despite not having any previous corporate industry experience, because she showed up at the job interview in Octan regulation approved attire. She initially showed promise as an explorer, but has since been disappointing to Pombe, having demonstrated paranoid and hostile behavior to all alien lifeforms, being labeled as "hard" during collaborative exploration missions with Ava Gato, a Kawashita inter-corporate relations officer, which Pombe interpreted as "being difficult", and just not understanding the situations as well as Eshey's new colleague, Normal Guy, who gives her the heebie jeebies. Despite these failings, Eshey has proven to be a remarkable sharpshooter. She has since become a permanent hire, as part of Octan's response to the alien fleet threat from Andromeda's core. She also has a huge crush on Octan engineer, Big Z.

Ethel Alkylhal

Originally from Mitgard, where she grew up on a farm and developed animal husbandry skills, she failed to find employment as an adventurer there and ended up wandering the spaceways looking for a job. She initially was turned down for the temporary hire position as Pombe's apprentice, which was given to Eshey, because Ethel showed up to the interview in her traditional Mitgardian attire and not something Octan regulation approved. Due to the alien fleet crisis, Pombe reached back out to her and offered her a permanent position on his exploration team. Her preferred armaments are her trusty battle axe and shield. Ethel tends to distrust technology and is extremely vulgar. She also loves to eat sausages.

Hombre

Sue Damoness

Sue was an ace pilot with Galaxy Squad's red team, having tallied numerous combat kills against the invading buggoid aliens. She was discharged honorably after deciding to leave Galaxy Squad after a certain incident. Immediately, she was courted by potential employers who wanted her skills as a pilot, but she decided to take up Pombe's offer, due to her intuition regarding Pombe's personal agenda: she didn't think he had one. Astute, but laid back, she often just goes with the flow in daily situations, but her habits learned from the military crop up from time to time with regards to adherence to protocols. She does take piloting seriously and enjoys the freedom that Pombe gives her regarding piloting decisions for the team.

Normal Guy

The newest member of the Pombe's exploration team, Normal Guy just sort of showed up one day and started following the crew around the Axle. Pombe, with his keen sense of observation, noticed this, and realized that he needed to help find Normal Guy a girlfriend, so Pombe brought him onto the team. Since then, Normal Guy has been an indispensible member of the team, completely understanding the nature of the exploration situations and assisting Pombe better than anyone else. While the other team members seem unnerved by Normal Guy's presence, Pombe's high praise of Normal Guy have led them to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Kawashita

Ava Gato

A Kawashita inter-corporate relations officer who shared Kawashita technology with Octan alongside Kawashita engineer Alexander Vandangant. Ava also stayed aboard the Axle and worked with Eshey on exploration assignments for a while when Pombe was busy debriefing a Kawashita marketing and sales team on Jurin II. Competent and honorable, Ava assisted and followed Eshey's instructions, highly praising Eshey to Pombe upon his return. She has since returned to Kawashita to continue her other assignments.

M.A.N.T.I.S.

Isabel Novak/Sammy Nelly Typhi

Deceased. Sammy Nelly Typhi was a M.A.N.T.I.S. special operations agent who infiltrated Octan as apprentice explorer, Isabel Novak, to get close to the famous explorer Wick Nole, even though he's an engineer, to learn Octan corporate secrets. Instead, she was assigned to Pombe, where she languished for two years under his mentorship. Finally having had enough, she used a special Octan exploration assignment to fake the death of her alter ego and to head back to M.A.N.T.I.S. space to report of her failure. Unfortunately for her, her spaceship had a malfunction due to the engines being only attached by a single stud, and she was forced to crash land on the planet of Xerillian. Pombe found the remains of her wrecked spaceship and sent a report back regarding Isabel's status. Octan special forces agent, Jebediah O'Reilly, and his team were dispatched to take care of Sammy once and for all, ensuring Octan secrets would not make it back to M.A.N.T.I.S..

Pombie

A natural leader with an eye for talent, Commander Pombie is the head of an elite crack special operations team for the M.A.N.T.I.S. corporation. She has gained a reputation for taking employees that would otherwise be considered misfits and outcasts, identifying their talents, and molding them into terrifyingly efficient operatives. Her leadership style is brutal and cold, but nevertheless, her team are completely loyal to her because she took the time to identify and acknowledge each of their individual aptitudes after they were dismissed by others. Her brother, Pombe, is an explorer for the rival Octan corporation.

Cassandra

A powerful psychic with the ability to take over and control the bodily actions of multiple minifigures at once. She acquired this ability as a test subject during one of Big Sal's "employee weaponization" projects for M.A.N.T.I.S., but was rejected and discarded because she did not develop the ability to shoot lasers out of her eyes, or mouth, or hands...or from anywhere really. Unwanted and suffering from depression, she dwelled in the basements of M.A.N.T.I.S. corporate buildings, subsisting on vending machine food, sleeping in conference rooms, and showering in gym locker rooms, until Pombie discovered her by chance and recognized her talent and brought Cassandra onto her team. Since then, Cassandra has been utterly and completely loyal to Pombie, referring to Pombie as "mistress" and obeying her commands without question.

Neko-chan

A girl who is half minifigure and half cat alien. She grew up with her mother, and never knew who her father was. Because of her beauty and lithe gracefulness, she was hired by Kawashita to be a spokesmodel for their products. She proved to be hugely popular with Kawashita's customer demographic, driving up Kawashita profits astronomically through her marketing efforts. Despite the success and fortune she earned as a spokesmodel, deep down, Neko-chan felt exploited by the Kawashita corporation, who she felt only wanted to use her for her looks. Really, all she wanted to do was to hit others with her huge and impossibly heavy hammer, which is she able to produce out of seemingly nowhere. One day, she ran away from home, and fled to the Andromeda Galaxy, where she felt no one could find her and she could hit anyone she wanted with her hammer. Unfortunately, she quickly used up her fortune dining on fish expensively exported to Andromeda and became destitute. Neko-chan was discovered in the slums of Torresta by Pombie, who recognized her talents, and offered her employment where she could hit people with her hammer. Neko-chan happily accepted and has been loyal to Pombie ever since.

Simon...I mean, Mephistopheles, lord of the 1337 H4XX0Rs

A geeky and awkward teenager who was recognized as a prodigy in computer programming early on. Unfortunately, his abrasive personality, combined with his social awkwardness, led him to being kicked out of one team to the next. Pombie took him onto her team realizing that she needed his talent, but was initially unsure of how her team would handle him. Being a hormone driven teenage boy, he, of course, was caught trying to peep on the attractive girls of the team, Cassandra and Neko-chan. However, instead of having to issue some sort of disciplinary action, Pombie realized that the ladies could handle themselves. Cassandra simply made him punch himself in the genitals repeatedly until he passed out and Neko-chan destroyed the harddrives with his porn collection with her hammer. Since then, he's behaved himself and so long as he's referred to by his proper name, he'll follow Pombie's commands. Oddly enough, he has shown no interest in either Commander Pombie nor the other woman on the team, Scooter.

Scooter

Scooter is the team's pilot, though she wasn't originally trained as a pilot. She started out as a low level M.A.N.T.I.S. administrator, dealing with employee training documents. Quiet and awkward, she mostly just kept to herself and did her job. An avid videogamer, anime and manga junkie, and dedicated cosplayer, she was just working to support her hobbies. She was reassigned to Andromeda and during her trip out, she was incidentally placed on the same shuttle as Pombie. During the journey, the pilot of the shuttle had a sudden heart attack and died. Because of her experience playing space simulators, Scooter recognized the controls of the shuttle and took over and safely navigated the shuttle through a freak asteroid storm. Pombie, amazed at what she saw, commented that Scooter piloted the shuttle "like a leaf on the wind" and promptly offered her a position on her team as a pilot. She has served proudly as the pilot of the team ever since.

Merchant Confederacy

Bruce Vayne

A Merchant Confederate starfighter pilot whose personal fighter is the T.U.M.B.L.E.R., short for Takeoff Ultra Missile Ballistic Laser Emergency Roustabout, which Eshey mistakes for a missile tank. He operates out of the Betsy May, a light carrier class capital ship, and was out on patrol looking for Zoid slaver activity when he crashed into an asteroid in the Fascini Cluster. Fortunately for him, Eshey and Pombe managed to rescue him and his T.U.M.B.L.E.R. from alien space ducks armed with knives that are indigenous to the asteroid. His alter-ego is Tabman, since he always buys the drinks.

Ishmael Haverly

A Merchant Confederate starfighter pilot and leader of Cobra squadron aboard the Betsy May. Though she adheres strictly to combat protocols and utterly respects the chain of command, she prefers to be called by her first name whenever addressed personally. She was the one who spotted a space whale during a routine CAP and reported it to Pombe and Eshey.

Previously:

http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=116312

Currently, aboard the Axle, somewhere over Yetornius....

Eshey, reporting for assignment.

What's going on here?!?!

I'm administering corporal punishment to Sue for breaking protocol and offering unsolicited advice to the CEO.

That's not appropriate! And why is Hombre here?

I'm not sure really. He just sort of showed up so I've been spanking him, too.

Less talking, more spanking!!!

I'm almost done here. I'll meet you over in the hangar bay in a bit.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Later, in the engineering bay....

Are we seriously going to give a space whale an anal probe?

Eshey, if we want to get the freshest poop samples, we will have to travel deep inside the space whale. That's why we have these things developed by Big Z to help us. The first are exosuits equipped with pooper scoopers and poop collection buckets.

Why do those poop collection buckets look like jack o' lanterns?

Because it's Halloween, Eshey.

Um...okay.

We'll use this next generation deep exploration vessel, the O.C.S. Ramrod, to penetrate the whale sphincter and enter the whale.

Once we're inside, we'll travel to the colon, where we'll land the ship and embark with the exosuits to search for fresh poop.

Alright, lets head out.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On approach to the space whale....

There it is, Eshey, right where Ishmael's coordinates said it would be.

Bringing us underneath...and there it is...the butt hole!

Penetrating the sphincter.

Making our way towards the colon

Let's hope the space whale doesn't have a bowel movement while we're in here or we'll be ejected back out into space. Quite violently, too, I think.

And that's just not the normal farts and number two's. We'll be ejected if the whale sharts, as well. Quite messily, I'm afraid.

Alright, here we are - in the colon. Landing the Ramrod. Eshey, prep the suits.

I can't believe I'm doing this....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the colon....

Eshey, keep your eyes out for fresh poop that's been trapped here.

How are you even breathing? I can't even imagine the smell....

Interesting, look here, Eshey - alien coccoon pods!

It seems that aliens have...

...colonized the colon.

Oh look! They're hatching!

KILL THEM!!! KILL THEM NOW!!! USE THE POOPER SCOOPER!!!

Hold on, Eshey, let's not get violent. In fact, they are trying to communicate with us.

Eh eh eh ehe ehehe eh eh. Eh ehehe, ehe eh eh eh eh. Eh ehe eh.

You're names are Ellen and Clive? And you've been waiting for trick or treaters all night and we're the first ones? And you have pretzel treats for us? Well then, trick or treat! Yes, please, place the pretzels in these buckets.

THAT'S WHERE THE POOP GOES!!!

We'll sort it out later, Eshey.

 

Next:

 

 

Additional pics under the spoiler tag, and comments and criticisms are all welcome!

Edited March 23, 2017 by pombe

[Dannylonglegs]

Yup. This just happened. Yup.

Not really sure what to say as side from all the builds are wonderful! Even the suits are some of your best! You shit gold, Pombe!

~Insectoid Aristocrat

[Jody Meyer]

"And that's just not the normal farts and number two's. We'll be ejected if the whale sharts, as well. Quite messily, I'm afraid."

Ok not sure where to go from here, your butt hole looks great God that sounds so wrong...

Always great builds and of course story, I used Hombre in my last build, sorry forgot to mention that.

[goatman461]

I'm so happy that this is the build that will propel Pombe to the top of Octan. The pinks and reds look great together. The mechs are cool although the gauges on the front look a little out of place. The cockpit of the mechs is a cool design and I like the unique legs you used. And, of course, that first scene is beyond awesome.

[Kodan Black]

That first scene is awesome. Love the interior of the whale and the Halloween buckets. A pombe story is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!

[Andromedas Gates]

The judges awarded you 4 points.

[SpacerSteve]

I'm not quite sure how MANTIS can possibly stand against such pure genius and logic. The ramrod is perfectly designed for the task it had to perform this week.