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Posted (edited)

Location: G08 - Xerillian

Tags: Vehicle, Spaceship / Airplane, Exploration, AG, Octan

++Pombe, personal log, start recording++

I return from Yetornius with sad news. Isabel is dead. The rest of the crew on board the O.C.S. Axle are saddened, of course; but poor Big Z...he took it especially hard. They had just started dating when this happened.

We mourn in our own way. Space Terrapin, ever the loyal comrade, joins us.

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It ends as it always does: with Dr. Long filing a complaint with Octan Corporate HR.

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Another great Octan explorer, Jacques LaRose, sees me in this forlorn state and tries to get me back in the game by offering me a spot in his latest expedition to planet G08. Jacques, like Wick Nole, is another one of my heroes. While I will need time to get over the loss of Isabel, I take him up on his offer. If I'm going to mope, I might as well be useful while I'm moping.

Xerillian...sand dunes...desert planet.

Our probes show no signs of awesomnium on this planet. Nor is it a good place to harvest water. However, it does have subterranean life that can be harvested for biomass.

I will prepare for this mission. I will have to continue on. That is what Isabel would have wanted.

++Pombe, personal log, stop recording++

++Start data transmission++

Jacques and I have just entered Xerillian's atmosphere in our dropships. He loads his trusty buggy onto his, I load my hovercraft onto mine. We head together towards the coordinates that Dr. Long has predicted will have a large biomass presence. Jacques is skeptical. He's not confident that we'll find any thing there, but we have our orders.

Are those...ruins...I see off in the distance? I'll make a note of it in my report and let Big Z know about it. He loves this sort of stuff. I hope it will help cheer him up.

Huh? What's this?

Hey, Jacques.

My sensors are picking up a faint energy signature. Could be awesomnium.

Hmm? You want me to check it out while you continue towards the original coordinates?

Copy that. It's probably nothing, but I'll confirm and catch up with you in a bit.

Pombe out.

I'm approaching the energy signature...what is that? It's...it's a crashed M.A.N.T.I.S. ship! What's that doing all the way out here? I have to check it out.

I'm just going to land the dropship nearby...no need to unload the hovercraft.

Shutting systems down...there. Alright, I'm setting out on foot.

[audible footsteps in the sand]

I'm approaching the M.A.N.T.I.S. ship. It looks like it crashed here relatively recently...it's still smoking. The canopy is open. I guess the pilot made it out alive...my helmet sensors aren't picking up any live minifigures in the immediate vicinity. He must have found shelter elsewhere. Either that or there's a dead body around here somewhere.

Oh, look. There's a scorpion looking arthropod thing. It seems to be minding its own business. I bet Dr. Long would want it for a specimen. I'll come back for it with the proper equipment once I get back to the dropship.

Let's look inside the cockpit. It looks like the pilot was recording something before the crash. Let's play it back.

[audible clicks]

[female voice]

++Start personal log: M.A.N.T.I.S. agent Sammy Nelly Typhi++

I'm free! I'm finally free of that idiot! Two years of my life wasted by that fool of a moron! But I don't care. I'm done with this stupid mission and I'm heading home.

Oh, I can't even believe how wrong this mission became so quickly. My original goal was to infiltrate Octan and get close to the legendary explorer, Wick Nole, and steal Octan corporate secrets from him. Somehow, though, it didn't go as planned...maybe he had a feeling something wasn't right with my credentials. But he stuck me with this idiot of an explorer who goes by the call sign Pombe.

Like really? He couldn't just use his real name like the other explorers? Wick Nole and Jacques LaRose don't use call signs. Does he think he's special? And what's with "Pombe"? That's like "beer" in Swahili? If he was trying to be clever, he failed like the imbecile he is.

It's a good thing I stashed this ship on I06 with plenty of awesomnium. Octan provides just enough awesomnium to get the mission done. I would never make it back with the Octan ship. I just needed a good excuse to get here without Mr. Pombe the Moron "supervising" me. Good thing I got this solo mission approved. If I had to do another mission with him as "Isabel Novak" I would have likely murdered him and exposed my cover in the process.

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Ugh...I can't even stand the thought of him. I have no idea how I spent two years "apprenticing" for the no-brain stupid-face and totally not learn a single thing. Not one Octan secret. Not one useful technique or method. Nothing. The idiot even thought I was an outstanding student, not even realizing that I "learned" things that he never taught: like all the best practices I learned from being a M.A.N.T.I.S. corporate operative.

I tried to get secrets from Dr. Danielle Long and agent Jebediah O'Reilly, and while both of them were courteous, but they were astute enough to not go into too much depth with me.

I also tried getting secrets from that genius engineer, Zaael, but in the end, I didn't succeed. Maybe I wasn't trying very hard with him. He is pretty cute.

In any case, that's water under the bridge, which is too bad. I just had to get away from that clueless dolt Pombe stupid face.

And how is he even still alive? EVERY mission...EVERY ONE...we encounter some crazy dangerous life threatening creature. And yet...while Mr. stupid face is completely oblivious to the danger, these creatures somehow...miss him. He never even realizes that they are there and he is under attack! Time and time again, I witness this. I'm not religious...I don't believe in the Man Upstairs...but something is protecting him.

I even faked my death to throw that idiot fool imbecile for a loop. I stole a cadaver from Dr. Long's laboratory...speaking of which...why does she have cadavers? Anyhoo, I stole a cadaver and put that stupid wig I've been wearing for two years on it and threw it near a dangerous creature in a cave for Mr. Moron to find. He'll probably just see my wig and report that he found my remains without running any further verification. I can totally see that happening. Hopefully this time the dangerous creature won't miss and the idiot face will finally just die.

Alright...finally...I'm breaking free from the atmosphere of I06. Let's punch in the coordinates into the nav computer to head to M.A.N.T.I.S. space, but take the long route through Kawashita space...just in case someone is following me.

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Thank the Council of Five, I'm finally heading home. Initiate interplanetary jump.

[warning klaxons sound]

WHAT? Engine malfunction?

[pause]

Who in the blue blazes is stupid enough to build a space ship and attach the engines with just a single stud?!?!?!

Crap in a hat.

Looks like I'll have to make an emergency landing on G08.

Oh...it looks like it's going to be a rough landing.

[inaudible noise]

@$%%^$@$%%$&^$@#$%^^#@%%#^%#^%

Kssshhhh...zzzzzzz...crap...skskkakazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....kshhshshhhshhzzzzzzzzzzzz...

ksklsszzzzzzzzzzz...kszhhshshshhzh...

++End recording++

Wait. Does this mean that Isabel...

Is alive?!?!

Oh, I can't believe how relieved I am!

Big Z is going to be sooooooooo HAPPY!!!

I'm not sure what all this M.A.N.T.I.S. stuff has to do with anything. Maybe Isabel got confused? I'm sure we'll sort it out.

I have to hurry back to the dropship and tell the others! Oh, I'm so happy! I'll let them hear this recording so they'll know that Isabel is alive and here somewhere and that we need to send a rescue operation as soon as possible.

[loud audible footsteps in the sand]

++End data transmission++

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More pics under the spoiler tag.

Edited by pombe
Posted

ISABEL IS ALIVE!!! :grin: But she is Mantis? Whyyyyy?!? She's cute with green hair though :wub:

Thanks for the tip on the ruins! I checked them out and found out something. It was painful, but I definitely found something.

Awesome build! The crash site is much better this way, I like the smoke!

Posted (edited)

Wonderful! :grin: this is a great improvement from the WIP pics. Very clean, and you can see all the work that went into the caves. Lovely details all over! And the story is great too! Wow... she really doesn't like you! :grin:

Also, I love how you characterized Dr. Long as well. Of course she would file a complaint! :laugh:

~Insectoid Aristocrat

Edited by Dannylonglegs
Posted

Very nice work here Pombe, much improved without all the brown! I really like how you went the extra mile and included an entire underground section, it really adds a lot to the build!

Posted

Very cool man! As others have said, much improved. The crash area is very nice and the lighting really helps see what is happening underground. The story is great, but then again, I may be a bit biased on that one! :laugh:

Posted

Love how you include other characters into your stories and builds! Lovely build too, a lot of fun, great ship and nice underground caves. It's nice to see some humor built into that big scary galaxy out there. :thumbup: My one suggestion would be to create more of a crater where the ship landed, but other than that lovely all around and I look forward to see what happens to "call sign pombe" next.

Posted

I really like the character development here! The last story pic with the monster under ground seemingly about to strike and pombe's oblivious expression suits the text beautifully.

Posted (edited)

Thanks for all the kind comments. I'm open to criticism, as well, so please let me know how I can improve.

My one suggestion would be to create more of a crater where the ship landed...

I completely agree! I initially tried to create a craterish effect, but I failed abysmally. The WIP has been added under the spoiler tag of the original post.

You can see what some of the earlier comments were talking about: it was overly busy and it was difficult to tell what was going on.

When I remade the scene, I considered trying some sort of topographical effect, where I would "sink" the surface where the ship crashed. Unfortunately, that sort of planning takes a lot of time, which I don't have. But this is something I will keep in mind should a similar situation happen for a future build.

Edited by pombe
Posted

Fantastic story and absolutely awesome builds! I had a lot of fun reading this one, the illustrations are perfect. The last scene, with the smoke effect, sandscaping and sinister looking worm, is just too cool. Wonderful work!

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