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Nocturnus: Alchemist “Just wait a second while I dissolve… ouch! Why do my pants feel hot and dry?” The crazy Alchemist is ready to show you anything, if you’ll just give him a minute to wrap up his experiment on the universal solvent and mix up that last concoction that he’s sure will end up in the philosophers’ stone. Oh, and he was really busy trying to find the elixir of life, but he’s sure he’ll be free soon and can help in just a second! He may be a Nocturnian and he may be an alchemist, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t friendly and willing to help out… until he gets distracted. You might want to pull him back on track soon though, or you could end up listening to a long discourse on how close he is to finalizing his theory on the quint essence! And do keep flammables away from him. He just isn’t good with them! Black Spire Captain: “Your wish is my command!” The black spire may have suffered some reverses, but this Captain is sure that his leaders know what they are doing. His loyalty knows no bounds, and his pride in his dragon shield and the faction it represents will take him to any lengths. Enchanted Pumpkin Pie Suit Guy: “Would you like some cream with that?” The Enchanted Pumpkin Pie suit guy always was a huge fan of his mother’s pumpkin pies and especially of the cream. In fact, he spent so much time in school thinking about the cream that some of his friends said it had turned his head (either that, or it was the enchantment). But far from being offended, he instantly recognized the genius of the comment, and now he walks around with his own private stash of cream on top of his head! Fortunately, as long as he stays away from volcanoes, the Nocty climate keeps the cream from melting. Some people are a bit turned off by his offer of cream on their cow head soup though – particularly when he scoops it generously off the top of his head. Hangman: “There’s nothing like chopping the problem off at its trunk!” The Hangman has a vicious reputation, and no wonder. He’s always the first to advocate tying loose ends with a blow of the ax and starting off with a fresh slate. But he is full of a witty sense of humor and wise if rather blunt maxims, and to the few who befriend him he is very reliable. Like everyone else, even this super-tough guy has his weakness – dental hygiene. Ever wonder why he wears a mask? Avalonian: Little Brat: “No! I need that toy! Or I am going to stay up all night crying!” The Little Brat never fails to get what he wants. One threat to stay up all night crying and his parents will do whatever he asks. He’s only had to make his threat good once, and that time the neighbors, whose chateau is a mile away, sent a servant to make sure it wasn’t a fire alarm. Despite his selfishness, however, the Brat can be very witty and always does his parents proud in the miracle plays at Christmas. For some reason though, it usually takes his dad three months to earn back what he spends at that time of the year. Knight: “I don’t understand you people! How are you going to defeat the enemy if you pay more attention to the color of your tights than the sharpness of your sword?” The Knight is constantly being exasperated by his squires and trainees. He just doesn’t understand how anyone can expect to succeed in life if they’re always worried about the latest in tight fashions. He’s never worn tights himself, and is proud of it! Whatever his squires may think though, the Knight is really an excellent warrior and one of the best teachers they are ever likely to have. For years his dark green plume and deer shield have been in the front of the battle, and wherever he goes, victory always follows! Bumpkin: “The hay’s in! Party time! What’s that? Oops, well, party time anyways!” The Bumpkin is always ready for a party, whatever the occasion. Maybe it’s because the hay’s in, or maybe because it’s still out, the reason doesn’t matter as long as there’s a party anyways! He’s been known to celebrate the cows’ birthdays, and since between them all the villagers own 247 cows… Be that as it may, once he does get settled down to work, everyone admits that the Bumpkin works three times as fast as anyone else. And he’s always generous with anything he earns. Whenever he hosts a party, the whole village is invited! Lady: “Did you want me to iron your tights for you, dear?” The wealthy and cultured Avalonian Lady is always thoughtful and kind, but even she is sometimes exasperated by the tree hugging habits of most of her kin. Still, she is always willing to iron her husband’s tights and make sure they’re just right for tomorrow’s fancy ball. But as soon as she’s back home, she’ll insist on him doing some fencing in the back room to work off all the frog legs and cupcakes. With all her common, down-to-earth sense, she still has something of the tree hugging partiality for flowers – especially red ones. Kaliphlin: Astronomer: “You know the poem; Cintilæ, cintilæ, orbül vivific. Vain would I fathom thy nature especific Loftily poised in the eastern capacious Vaguely resembling a jewel carbonatious. You don’t? What do they teach you in kindergarten? It’s Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star – obviously.” The Astronomer is passionate when it comes to his science. To him, there’s nothing better than a night spent with the stars. And there’s nothing worse than a nice, peaceful night like that being interrupted by rowdy students! Fortunately, that doesn’t happen too often. It didn’t take long for the students to learn that a telescope can have a very down-to-earth use if necessary! But when the students aren’t goofing off, even they are able to appreciate the beauty of the stars as described by the enthusiastic Astronomer. Perhaps they appreciate his strong arm more, but as long as they’re quiet and learn a little something, the Astronomer doesn’t much care! Cabin Boy: “Oh no! I’m sorry sir, I’ll clean that right up!” The well-intentioned but sometimes careless Cabin Boy is always looking out for messes and spills to clean up – and once in a while creates more in the process! He’s been coasting up and down the shorelines of Historica ever since he can remember, and has been to dozens of ports all along the seaboard. Once he caught a flying fish in the deep southern sea, and he’s taken his part in a few brawls all the way up in Thorshaven! But although he loves the salty breeze, the Cabin Boy always looks forward to getting back to Kaliphlin to see his parents again. He’d be the first to agree that there’s no place like home! Female Warrior: "You didn’t see that coming!” Born and raised in the Kaliphlinian East, the Female Warrior’s skill with the katana is so great that she has been known to carve fantastic shapes out of watermelon with a few quick slashes. Said to be versed in the way of the Ninja, she has often given her friends a bit of a scare by suddenly appearing behind them. Although reserved and taciturn, she always has a sympathetic ear. She herself has said that her life’s goal is peace, but some have wondered if she doesn’t have a secret quest of her own… Merchant: “I know it probably hasn’t occurred to you in this light before, but you most definitely need a poncho. And it has to be green and tan and red, or it simply won’t go with the lines of your face.” The fabulously wealthy Merchant is adept at convincing anyone that they need exactly what he has to sell. However, he can be very generous especially when it will place him in a good public light. He was foremost in the magnificent Kaliphlinian endeavor to deliver much needed heating oil to the Mitgardians, and has often generously supported candidates for office in various guilds. Perhaps he has a sharp eye to the main chance and number one, but no one can claim to be more patriotic than he! Mitgardia: Serving-man: “To the world’s end, if you’d like!” Loyal to a fault, the Serving-man will do whatever his lord wants. He makes an excellent waiter, but can saddle a horse, hang up draperies, or even defend his master from bandits with the best of them. Much to his regret, he’s occasionally had to change masters, but he’s always been highly recommended, and everyone is favorably impressed with his prompt willingness! Dwarf Scribe: “To – build – or – not – to – what? That’s so cliché. Can’t you come up with something better for me to write?” No one excels the Dwarf Scribe at speed writing, but for all that he can’t help but make comments on whatever is being dictated, sometimes out loud and sometimes just written in. Occasionally he gets a bit carried away and has interrupted some pretty high council meetings, but it is true that his suggestions generally improve the literary style. Once though, he wrote out a receipt for the Merchant and changed “superfine purple silk” to “styrofoam purple milk,” under the impression that it would be a good joke. Needless to say, he wasn’t hired again. But it must be admitted that reading minutes he’s written can actually be rather enjoyable! Hunter: “Here, cutie, cutie, cutie! Here my precious little.. gotcha!” The Hunter never lets his soft side interfere with his job, and as a result he’s always got plenty of food on his table. In his spare time, he’s constantly trying to perfect his weapons. He’s always ready to show off all his improvements – the improved connection between the spearhead and the base, the brightly colored feathers that help him to spot it far away when he misses – which he never does – and the extra slim, extra light material that lets him get the greatest distance and force possible. He does sometimes get a bit absorbed in his hunt, and it’s not a good idea to pop suddenly out from behind a lump of ice unless you want a spear in your gizzard! Cook: “Old MacDonald had a farm, e–i–e–i- eh? Two chickens? Coming right up, sir! …and on that farm he had two chickens, e–i–e–i–o…” Whether it’s a simple dish of carrots and broccoli, or an elaborate course of roast peacock and fish eye soup, the Cook can make it all! To the inexperienced, his procedures may seem a bit amateur or even dangerous – like singing Old MacDonald or like the time he flipped a knife in the air and cut his pants – but the end product always justifies him! Guests have been known to eat so much fish eye soup that it started coming out their own eyeballs, or to try to stuff in so many of his delicious twisted pastries that their tongues start becoming twisted. Even if that’s a bit of an exaggeration, there are never any left overs for the servants to do away with! Garmadon and I both felt that we could make a much better series if we divided it up, so (with some help from a younger bro as well) we decided to go halves on this one. I had a lot of fun writing the descriptions; tried to incorporate some hints from recent (and not so recent) events - hopefully you enjoyed them! Thanks for looking! C&C always welcome!
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