Student Enrollment: Character and Theme 2

[Brickington]

Ok, here it is ( I used Darkdragon's format ) :

Protagonist vs. Antagonist

Good vs. Evil

Protagonist - the good guys, Socar, the knights, and especially Patrick

They all were at the try-outs to be Royal Knights. Socar has been a knight for years and was picking the knights. Patrick, Wellington, and the other knights wanted to be Royal Knights for their kingdom in a time of trouble. They attacked the thieves who were trying to take the town.

Antagonist - The Thieves and Wellington

The Thieves are a big group of baddies. They have been trying to take over the Kingdom recently. They want to control and take over everything and be rich. Their thieves, so they like to steal. They see this group of knights all in one place on Recruitment Day and think it's a good idea to attack. Wellington wants everything for himself, but doesn't want to work for it. To be honest, he would like to become the King.

Humble vs. Pride

Protagonist - Humble

Patrick was humble throughout his adventures, he has goals, but he stays humble. He could get all prideful about being invited to the try-outs by King Phillip. But no, that's not Patrick who was humble.

Antagonist - Pride

Wellington and a couple of other knights were prideful. Wellington thought he was the cream of the crop and that he was the best. He thought that no one could beat him because he was so strong. His pride made him overlook his flaws.

Fear vs. Confidence

Protagonist - Confidence

Patrick needs to have more confidence, however he doesn't want to be like Wellington. He thinks if he gets more confidence he will end up like Wellington. He has a great conflict within himself.

Antagonist - Fear

Patrick suffers from lack of confidence and too much fear. He constantly does not believe in himself, but knows he needs to do better .

Well I hope you enjoyed!

Edited April 17, 2013 by Brickington

[Hinckley]

This is not the format of the lesson I linked you to. Did you read the second lesson that I linked to in your last enrollment?

Luckily, there's really no passing or failing these and they're only meant to get you writing more and unlock new ways of thinking. There's no right or wrong way to write, but there are consistencies in stories. That's what the lessons are about. Mostly, though, they're just ways to get you thinking differently and writing. A lot of times, my lessons are showing you what's been done before and why it works. Nobody has to work that way. It does help though, to know what "rule" you are breaking so that you can see every aspect of a story it will effect.

However, as a student, to get the most out of what I'm trying to show you, you should read pay attention to what I'm asking you to do. You do not seem to be doing that.

[Hinckley]

That being said, fleshing out the story has really helped. There's a lot more depth to it. It seems like you can re-visit the end of the story now as well. It ties up very neatly with Patrick promoted quickly to head knight and Wellington basically a stable boy. That doesn't ring with the rest of the story. I would imagine Patrick still needs to work on his sword work and Wellington's other positive attributes would be wasted, mucking the stalls. Perhaps it starts a friendship between Patrick and Wellington? What if the thieves killed Socar and someone needed to take over for him. Sorry, now I'm getting out of control. That may be a little much at this point in the story as none of the characters seem capable of replacing him as head knight.

But, the story is much more clear and more three-dimensional than before. The ending and the character transformations could use the same treatments. This has been a great exercise for you. I think we should move the posts to the first lesson. I am glad you went back to the format of the first lesson before moving onto the next lesson.

[Brickington]

I read it over again and I think I know what you want me to do. I changed the first post and put the original first post in Lesson 1.

Edited February 23, 2013 by Brickington

[Hinckley]

Before I go over this, why do you say you used DarkDragon's format? DarkDragon chose three conflicts because it fit her story. You should be reading from my original lesson and coming up with your own answers based on the story you are telling...

[Brickington]

Before I go over this, why do you say you used DarkDragon's format? DarkDragon chose three conflicts because it fit her story. You should be reading from my original lesson and coming up with your own answers based on the story you are telling...

I don't mean I used her lesson. I just used her typing format for example:

(Example) vs. (Example)

Protagonists - bla, bla

bla, bla, bla, bla

Antagonists - bla, bla

bla, bla, bla, bla

That's what I meant by format.

[Hinckley]

This is really well done, Brickington. Thanks for being patient and waiting for my schedule to free up.

Do a little bit more work for me on this one, before I move you on to the next lesson.

1. Focus a bit more on Patrick as the Protagonist and Wellington as the Antagonist.

2. Besides usual vs. unusual, what concepts could be antagonist and protagonist in your story? Use something that Patrick can wrestle with internally. Fear vs. Confidence or something like that. This will help explore what motivates Patrick to be brave when the time comes. Is he always that brave? Is it hard for him to be brave?

3. Lastly, imagine an antagonist that would threaten the knights and the thieves and think about how all of the characters would respond to that. How does that challenge our views of the Patrick/Wellington conflict? How does it challenge Patrick and Wellington's views of each other.

Overall, I'm really happy you're participating as a student here. Your narrative meanders a bit right now, but I think your story is fun and creative. I don't want you to jeopardize or change your original story. Nobody can tell you what to write or even how to write. These exercises are meant to help you bring the story out, solidify your ideas and challenge you creatively to flesh your characters out.

Keep up the great work. I look forward to seeing your answers to those three questions. In the meantime, I'll make sure lesson three is ready for you.

[Brickington]

Thank you for responding!

I made the changes for question 1 and 2 in the first post. For question 3 I wanted to make it's own individual little spot in this post for it doesn't change the whole story. So here it is:

Good vs. Evil

Protagonist - British (the good guys, Socar, the knights, British thieves, Wellington, and especially Patrick)

Although the thieves and the knights were enemies, they all hated the French. When the French showed up to siege the town, the thieves and the knights joined up to meet this new threat.

Antagonist - The Thieves and Wellington

The French have always been complete rivals with England. They always watch the English for chances of attacking. When they saw that the knights were challenged with the attacking thieves, they saw an opportune moment. However, they didn't expect the thieves to join the knights. The French underestimated the British patriotism of the thieves.

[Hinckley]

The French are the ultimate evil, aren't they? I'll take a look at the whole lesson tonight after work. Thanks again for the enthusiasm and responding so quickly.

[Brickington]

The French are the ultimate evil, aren't they?

Can't get more evil than a French person.

[Hinckley]

Great job, Brickington. You passed this lesson as well. I really like your update about Patrick's fear and confidence. The story is much more interesting if we see him overcome his own challenges to surprise the others. It's more fun to watch him surprise even himself! Vast improvement. Keep up the great work.

I'll finish up lesson three and move it here for you tonight. Thanks!