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SirGoldenKnight

Cap'n Sully Hawkbill- PTV II Medium Entry

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House View, sorry for my finger :pir_bawling:

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Up View

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Back View, please dont note my missing sand plates on down :pir-blush:

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Please comment and criticize, its my 2nd pirate MOC :pir-skull:

Edited by SlyOwl

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I wish I was that Captain! :pir-laugh:

Overall the entry looks quite good to me, but I have some improvements though:

1: The palm tree-thingy in the crate doesn't look too good to me.

2: I suggest making a kind of wooden platform in front of the doors, now you almost walk directly into the water.

3: Some more interior details in the house, treasure, flower etc...

4: That swivel gun is awesome. :pir-wub:

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This is a wonderful idea. I really like the star fish and clam. The vegetation also is nice and the building is a great inclusion.

Suggestios

-The female islanders could use long hair instead of the traditional islander hair. This will clarify that they are females.

-The random black and green tiles on the beach look out of place in the moc.

-The building could use more of an interior such as a bed, chair, treasure chests, or a table with a map on it.

-I would recommend not including the picture of the back of the building because the main focus is what's going on outside. But if you still do want to include the picture of the back of the building try to keep all of the arches and bricks the same color.

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I like the overall idea but its hard to see with the camera angles. An overall shot from the front would be nice as would one that better shows the pool. I would also suggest to add some interior details and maybe a different railing from the fence. This part would look better, as would a brick-built one as the other looks too modern. I also like the idea of a palm fan but this one looks blocky. I would use this and attach the handle part to the clip on the leaf. Other than that though this looks like a good entry with some promise to be a great one.

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I like the idea of the pirate starting his own harem! Very original. I also like the canon and the small details like the star and the shell. There are some things I would change:

1) I agree with the posts above that there should be a sort of platform in front of the door. If you would walk outside you would fall in the water!

2) The palmtree in the crate isn't meant to be a plant is it? I believe it's ment to be one of those things slaves would have to use to cool down their masters, sort of a fan (damn that was hard to explaine in english!) Get what I mean? Well anyway I think it would be best if this was used by one of the islander ladies to cool the pirate down while he is lying on the beach. That way it wouldn't look like there is an odd plant in a crate positined right next to the door.

3) I'm not so fond of the random green plant parts lying aroud. If you were to add some green plant parts you should make a little bush out of them.

4) I do believe the interior of the house is a little bit empty. It would look great if you would add some furniture.

~Badboy

Edited by badboytje88

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This certainly is a very nice idea, but i would agree with the posts above that there still is room for improvement.

Personally, Im not a big fan of studs showing up. Additionally to what has been suggested already, i would strongly recommend tiling. The main downside is thats its expensive and the parts needed are rather difficult to get. But at some point, you should try it I guess.

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I actually like this one quite a bit! It did take me quite a while to grasp that there is no "inside" or "outside" the building here and it's just a simple tower along the beach... I was really quite confused at first - perhaps you could try and make this one a bit more realistic, so that it doesn't actually look like a swimming pool in a building? I would suggest adding some more distance between the gates and the water itself - no one would want their building constructed right on the shore so that it gets flooded every night ;)

A few good overall shots of this MOC, as other EBbers have already suggested, should also go a long way to improving viewers' understanding of the perspective... So I'd be really grateful if you could try and take some more pics of this one - with or without your finger :pir_laugh2:

As to specific recommendations - I must say that I couldn't quite understand what the black rod inside the brown box is actually supposed to represent... The beach / pool is a great idea but you could try and add some more details to the water - or the sand - so that the distinction is clearer. I guess that the pirate cap'n likes islander girls, which is understandable, but how about a good close-up shot of him? After all, it's his pool and this whole MOC is supposed to be revolving around him, right? From what I can make out of these pics, he seems to be planning on walking on water, which should be fun :pir-tongue:

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This reminds me of one of the old redcoat sets. I think it was Imperial Outpost? The shape of the building is much in the same. I think that this build is a very good start. For one, I think you could really improve it by ordering some bricks and changing some of the colors. I know that getting the right colors is always difficult when I am doing a build. As most have already said, having some sort of platform in front of the door would be a good idea. Perhaps upgrading your crane to a different design could really flesh out your build as well? Remember, with every MOC your are trying to "SHOW" a story, not "TELL" a story. I really look forward to a improved submission.

Good Job.

-martinsuper

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