Mister Phes

The GREAT historical LEGO WAR!!!

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Aye carumba!!!

This Viking Lord VI means business! He seems much more aggresive than Lord Viking II! I hope my conquistadors can capture and secure Antigua before those British ships arrive. I hear they are locked in a furious battle at the moment so I'm wondering how long it will take Viking Lord VI's ships to arrive, I suppose it depends where are coming from.

Strategic Hint to Lost Viking: Since you're British you already have ships in the Caribbean, which are a lot closer than the ships you have in Europe. So at your command you can send the ships you have in the Caribbean and they will arrive at Antigua in days, wheras the ships you have in Europe will take weeks to reach the Caribbean.

Let us know where your ships are coming and if its Port Royal, your other British settlements or from Caribbean patrols then I'll be in a lot of trouble! :D

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hahahahaha, none of you anticipated my return. Little were you aware that while i was gone i was preparing for battle. After seeing the time appropriate weapons i invented to fight this war with, the Ottoman leader was so asstounded he immediatley granted me access to economic resorces and put me in charge of a large army. He says if i can get him the classic grey bricks he will give me the resources i need. The only reason i dont want them myself, is because they reappear in the future so i can acess them quite easily.

Here is a brief description of the time appropriate!! weapons I have invented. Please note i only have a few ready for battle, its not like i can just send wave after wave of these things.

Land

Clockwork cannons: Truly a tribute to time travel! Imagine a simple cannon but with a clockwork mechanism mounted to its side. One of the teeth on the clock face supports a lit torch another tooth holds a chain with one rope link tethered to a trained horses hind leg. As the horse moves that leg, the clock turns exactly one node per every step. Eventually the lit torch comes in contact with the wick setting it aflame and fire!!!!!!! The horses are trained to move in the direction of enemy soldiers so escape is almost impossible, they are also trained to retreat for a possible reload and move quite fast.

Tricycles: I

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That's an impressive array of arsenal ye be possessing their Mr Cleese! Are you still based in China?

But what would you want a floating tank for? To transport water or something to that effect?

A military tank wouldn't be Time appropriate nor would a bouyance train with a module looks like a small futuristic space ship, regardless of its functionality. I would be expecting backlash if you're planning to use those...

Check this and you'll see how disfavoured the hybrid futuristic/historic are...

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no the chinese declined my train offer, so i figured id be a bit more traditional and went to the next most powerful nation that came to mind.

and my floating tank is generally the same as my land tank but it works in water and not on land. Anyway i havent decided who to attack yet, will it be yo mister phes, or perhaps lost viking, maybe even starwars4j, who knows....

okay...okay.. darn cant get away with any time twisting these days. Ok my bouyancy train now has a traditional alpine house on it ok. And the tank doesnt use any technology unavailable at the time period, its powered by pedals and wind for heavens sakes, its not really a tank, i just called it a tank.

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Yes, you could attack me which would be a big mistake! The thing you lack that everyone else has is a concept known as "allies", that's something you might like to establish before you decide to attack anyone.

And what was the next nation that came to mind Mr Cleese?

You're quite brave if you think you're going to use a floating tank in a historic war. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in the 21st century there aren't floating tanks that resemble land tanks, so they're going to be really really really reeeeeally out of place in the 17th century. I predict this idea will be very rejected by the other participants very quickly and now would be an excellent time to select other historic warfare devices....

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I am looking for the mysterious messenger in old greenland..Since I have recieved reinforcements, I will be coming to save Lord Viking I! "viking" where are you?

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thats why i havent decided, i seek allies, if i didnt need allies id just haul off and attack whoever. The only reason im not attacking yet is because i havent established ties with other nations.

The tank looks like a metal boxy thing with cannons sticking out of the front, its not that futuristic, its kind of steampunkish. Also there arent tanks like that in the 21st century because there are battle ships, which are much more effective at destroying enemy ships than floating boxes.

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Phes..Hmm I think u forgot to update the page 1 cause it says dragon king is allied with the inquisition.

A metal box...? With cannons interesting..Is it useful? Isnt that heavy? How does it float?

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oh evil willy you are mistaken. The floating tanks are made of wood they just have armor plating. The land tanks are metal though.

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Do bare in mind that the industrial revolution doesn't take until the mid 19th century which is still 200 years from the time of the war, so steam punkish things are still somewhat futuristic. But perhaps you can get away with that.

Not sure about the train though... But we'll see if the others say anything...

Well, what's stopping you establishing ties now? The Inquistion is listening and it appears Evil Willy is about.

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well evil willy would you be interested in having my armies fight along side yours? Mister phes doesnt seem to interested in this train, steampunk, tank, bouyancy psychobabble.

phes, steampunk is anything pre electric.

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I would love for you to send as much artillery/ troops to Quebec...Dragon king is planing a latge attack here and if we could use you metal "Tanks" then we would have a large advantage against his dragons.

Do you accept?

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The Inquistion will ally with you of course!

Meanwhile deep in the Caribbean...

Its time for the conquistadors to withdraw, rest and supply - the supplies from Nevis are being arranged right this moment and a ship to transport them is on its way. The sloops of war are still patrolling the harbour ensuring that no merchant or cargo ships can enter Antigua. Once again the Inquistion is depriving a settlement of its supplies!

Have you ever stopped to think of the etymology behind "steampunk". Without even research the word my logic dictates that the "steam" refers to steam power, but if you don't want to take my word for it then read Dictionary.com's official definition. Or if you want a more comprehensive explaination then read the articles on Wikipedia or Answers.com when precised read"machines which run from steam set in Victorian times." Victorian times were in the 19th century - 200 years from now.

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well phes in the wikipedia article it says steampunk can go back to medival technology.

alright evilwilly. I will ally with you seeing as your situation is so dire. I have available to send to you 62 tanks, i hope that will be sufficient.

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For a start nobody in the 17th century knows what a tank is. So unless you've told Evil Willy what a tank is in a way that he can understand then I'm not sure how he knows about them.

And 62 tanks!!! How the hell did you get all those back in time?

I am seriously not like the idea of using tanks in the 17th century... Regardless of how far back Steampunk can go, the technology is too futuristic for this era. We are no existing in the Steampunk universe!

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but phes the point is they arent technicaly tanks, they are wind and pedal powered, they arent camoflauged and the armament consists of four cannons that shoot out the front and sides.

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I've concluded this war as it hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to and not because of John Cleese's steampunk inventions. I think I'll resign now so adios folks!

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oh sorry i wasnt sure what a realistic number would be. Alright its only 22 tanks.

holy jeez phes, does that mean no more historical lego war? OMG all thats left is guess the set and everybody hates that, accept me. anyway dont you think resigning just because the great historical lego war isnt absolutely what you wanted it to be, is a bit pettulant? And if you really want me to, ill eliminate the tanks from my inventions list.

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No, The GREAT historical LEGO WAR!!! will continue without me.

This isn't an on the spot decision, I've felt this way for some time now. Originally when I created this thread I wanted it to be set in the mid 17th century with technology available at the time, and I wanted it to be set in Europe and the Caribbean. But obviously it hasn't worked out that way as I was too leanient and now things have gone beyond my original intention.

So rather than force everyone to comply to my expectation I'll resign so this way everyone else can continue having fun.

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hahaha spain will be mine. Phes no longer controls spain and it has been left helpless. The contry is in anarchy and i conquer it quite easilly, now the spanish inquisition is left in my capable hands.

and phes you created something better, you created a melting pot of ideas and beliefs and managed to moderate it quite well. lenience can only be expected in such a thread and i beleive you were only as lenient as you had to be. anyway i dont think this thread will continue for very long.

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Some where in New Greenland...

??????-

Evil Willy, is that you? I have been waiting for you for a week! What took you! Anyways, enough of that, we must save Lord Viking I, or else Britain will be in a dictatorship forever... Oh sorry, I must have rambled on again I am as you must of guessed Viking. Anyways, put on these British unifor-- oh wait you are already dressed in one. Okay, come along now, we haven

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yup im up for grabs too, I completley agre..latley since john and dragon king came its been getting stupid...Its like ohh yah im breeding dragons in a super top secret lair none of you can find and in 8 posts ill have 16 dragons..Which is completley ridiculous considering 1 post=2 days and 8 posts is 16 days and it takes about 8 mounths for a baby to be born...Anyways I quit too. Seriously it just doesnt work...War? Ahh well I flew away on my eagles and killed you..Nope those were decoys...Doesnt end and will never

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This is why I tried to tell you guys about the god-modding, it just gets out of control, and soon it loses all the fun it was supposed to have. I mean this war started out as a fight between Phes and I over the precious grey bricks, and escalated into a WW0 :P ) While that was fine, and it was a lot of fun back then, so many new things popped up, and all these new "inventions" and whatnot...with everybody wanting to win...it somehow just lost its magic. A real shame too, as this was one of the more fun threads on EB. For me though, it really seemed to die a few weeks ago, back when I first mentioned the god-modding...ah well, at least there's the rest of the site ;)

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