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Ross Fisher

[OL - FB] The Death of Hercules

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Hercule stopped for a second to confirm his suspicions. And, yes, he was correct - as usual; some swine had shot him! How dare they! Who? Who the hell had the audacity? Johnny foreigner, obviously. There was a greasy looking Lotii up ahead with a smoking musket and a scared look on his face. The devil! I'll get him!
Except he didn't step forward. Instead he walked straight into the floor. There was grass in his mouth. Something was wrong. He tried to right himself, but the body wouldn't obey. So tired. Stupid, really. There was a battle to be fought. De La Tour pulled men into a defensive wall around him. Good on that man! Then darkness took him. 

There followed a weave of moments; men shifting him into a bed, the barber-surgeon prodding and poking, Jules sitting over him and praying.

The death of Hercules

He eventually found consciousness. Like a shipwrecked sailor finds a spur of timber in a churning ocean. And there he was, standing beside him; the Hawk of Hades.
"Why am I here?" he asked. "Get me back to the front. My men need me."
"The fight is over, brother," Jules replied. "The men won." 
"Oh." He pondered. "Georges?"
"Oui Général?" replied the manservant. 
"A bottle of that sparkling stuff the horse-eaters are so keen on." 
A look passed between the chef and the priest. And then a single nod. 
"Oui Général," he replied, and then slipped out. What was this? Who the hell did Jules think he was, confirming his orders? Words would need to be had.
My, but there were a lot of people in this small room.
"What's going on here?" he asked. Didn't they know it was rude to intrude on a gentleman's chambers?
"Brother, your condition is not good," replied Jules.
"I was shot, so what? We've all been shot before."
"Non, Général, we have not," replied a chap in a dark uniform. Rimbaud? de Glenson? Awkward shuffling.
"I'm afraid you won't leave this bed." added someone else. Possibly Beauchamp?
"This all sounds dangerously like insubordination," he answered. "Is this a mutiny? And you Jules? You're part of it?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Hercule. There's no mutiny. You're dying."
"Come again?"
"You were shot. The bullet damaged you beyond repair. You have hours left. Maybe less."
Hercule paused, upset. This was new.
"Well tell Georges he had better hurry up!"

Edited by Ross Fisher

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Love all the details Ross! The bed is awesome with the mudguards for blankets. Also love the coattails, floor, door - all sorts of great details

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Wow, such a great writing! Oleon will for sure mourn for this brave commander and proud noblemen!

 The building itself is also beautiful, the bed and the floor style are very realistic!

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This is easily the best story i read in BotBS so far (Since i joined). So, so good! I also really like the scene of all those officers, nobles, the priest and the barber-surgeon :pir_laugh2: standing around the bed of the poor soul.

RIP Hercule.

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@evancelt @Bricksbypidy @Keymonus @Yperio_Bricks Thanks guys! Your feedback really means a lot. I tried to balance humour and pathos with this series and I really think it paid off. We'll all be the poorer for his loss. But if its any consolation, I happen to know that there's a little Hercule on the way. So maybe this story will have a sequel. One day.

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I find it a pity when an important character dies in Brethren of the Brick Seas. The last will was that Beauchamp recieve +1xp. That should be respected and he should get +1xp.

I like the face of Bishop François who is standing next to his brother's bed and is with him for the last few moments. A great story that fits Hercule's lifestyle.

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Great stuff! "Hurry up!":pir_laugh2: Beautiful scene. What a deathbed!

We can moc a scene showing command being transfered to Colonel Beauchamp @CapOnBOBS after the General fell? The thinking here is that the 'meat and potatos' of Oleon's battle plan was his anyways. He made the maps n such to go with in the first place.

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4 hours ago, Jeff of Clubs said:

We can moc a scene showing command being transfered to Colonel Beauchamp @CapOnBOBS after the General fell?

Agreed. Technically, he is in the room there. He would have Archbishop François' support. A battlefield commission could be awarded, and the promotion presented to mainland command as a fait accompli.

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Great story with an equally interesting build. I like the floor pattern and the way you did the bed. Looking at the size of the flag in his bedroom, Hercules' heart definitely beat for Oléon. The humor in the writing is subtle enough not too detract from the overall tragedy of his death.

What made you kill him off? He outlived his narrative purpose?

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3 hours ago, Khorne said:

What made you kill him off?

I think I got bored with how slow the war is going. I don't want responsibility for a central character in something that might take years to finish. Especially as he's only a side character for me.

From a narrative standpoint, I really want to enrich the Archbishop's story. And since death is such a key pillar of his, it made sense that he should have a personal connection to it.

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Despite my lack of comments on previous posts of yours, I've been enjoying reafing your stories every time they show up on main page. 

Sad to see such an entertaining character go, but also fun to see a character death (we don't get those a lot!) And it was a well written and fitting end for Hercules.

Well done!

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Well, I come back from holiday and find this little gem.  Nicely written story conclusion and a great MOC scene too.  Top notch work.

Refresh my memory though: which faction eats horses? I’d like to file that insult for potential future use.

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A gripping story, very well told - with one excellent picture to go with it.

You have surely raised the bar (but I will have no problem to pass underneath :pir-laugh:) for story-telling here.

To Hercule! :pir-huzzah2:

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@Justsomebrix @Kwatchi @Captain Braunsfeld Thanks so much guys. I had no idea this would get so much love. I really appreciate it.

On 8/4/2023 at 4:32 PM, Kwatchi said:

Refresh my memory though: which faction eats horses?

IRL, it's something the French are cool with and the British have recently been scandalised by it. In-game, the WTC have a history of eating horses, and we're happy to tar all of Corrington with the same brush. 

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