SR FB2 Sean Greybeard's Story - Part 5 - In Times Past II Betrayal

[Count Vroskri]

(Note. This is based between part 4 and part 1, but must be read in numerological order.

All references to the WTC have been removed due to a suggestion from someone higher up the chain in command, I support and endorse your desision.) 

Previously :

Part 1: 

 https://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/179698-sean-greybeards-story-part-1-guilt-is-a-powerful-thing/

Part 2 :

https://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/179724-sean-greybeards-story-part-2-he-shouldnt-be-that-hard-to-deal-with/

Part 3 :

https://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/179846-sean-greybeards-story-part-3-spreading-rumours/

Part 4:

https://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/180052-sr-fb1-sean-greybeards-story-part-4-in-times-past-i-the-city-of-gold/

 

Betrayal 

Early 620, El Oleanda 

'Dick?' asked Sean. I hated it when he called me that. Richard was my real name, and that stupid nickname was another thing that mother of his left to him. No inheritance, just a contamination of our family, the noble Fortescues, and we would no longer be considered as one of the other regal, powerful families, because of fathers drinking problem and that women he had picked up. 

 

'This is something to do with you, right?' He asked. 

'No,' I denied his accusation, but he heard the false tone in my voice and he knew I was lying. 

I pushed up the panel. It was quiet.

I emerged. As I pulled my self up, I gripped my cutlass. 

A second later Sean pulled himself up, and he pulled out his flintlock. 'What have you done?' he said. 

 

I stepped on his hand, kicked his pistol away and bolted. 

               - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

                        Sean

I pulled myself up, retrieved my pistol, and began to walk through the jungle, and then I realised. Dick had planned to kill me and Father's soldiers, take the treasure and then buy up the company. It was obvious that my Half-Brother had no faith in Father. It made perfect sense. Except - who killed Father's Soldiers? 

In the next clearing, there lay a man bleeding to death. In his chest was a huge machete of a muted iron tone.

 I ran over to him. 

Bending over him, I asked him what had happened. What I could hear came from underneath a  hacking, violent cough, and he was obviously choking on his own blood. He had no hope. 

'Beware...  The red mask... The... Messenger of.. He....' 

And then he was dead. 

Sean walked further down, until he walked onto the beach. 

Out in the azure waters of the bay was the Brig that had brought them here.

It was burning.

 

 

This was no longer a fight between two brothers, it was a fight between right and wrong. Someone who will stop at nothing to get what he wanted, and the Man who was willing to put his life on the line to stop him. 

                  ____________

 

To be continued...... 

Edit: this is FB 2, not 1.

Edited September 6, 2020 by Count Vroskri
New update

[Khorne]

Great of you to have picked up some of the photography tips! Your photos have become better compared to the first installments of the story. I like the microbuild of the burning ship. It's well-made and the parts usage for the water is innovative.

The plots thickens, we have our own BoBS Romulus and Remus now .

[Count Vroskri]

@Khorne

Thanks, I'm pretty proud of these photos even though I know that they can still improve. 

As for the micro build, I may upload more photos to my flickr, I can use it for sistershipping later in the game. The masts were the hardest part. 

The water was just blue bits I had hanging around. 

Thanks, 

Count Vroski 

[Mesabi]

@Count Vroskri Very nice microbuild at the end there, a lot of this build seems recycled, so I'll leave my comments where they were at last time.

First, you're photography has improved, but I hope to see it improve a little bit more. If you could get some cheap foam sheets from your local hobby store, you can use that as an easy white background to improve things a little bit, by softening the square edges.

Second, I've got to say, You're rushing out builds. I used to do the same thing, and when I started, I literally built so many things that they had to start lowering the number of builds that could be licensed in a month. ( @Darnok helped too, credit where credit is due) But, it lead to some really sloppy builds on my part. This, is an old shame of mine. (Granted it was done when I was in a dorm when I only had about a shoebox of lego) It was rushed, underbuilt, has too much empty space, and served no purpose other than to further my story, and give ML a plantation. now, of course I got more lego in the dorm but it really only lead me to build bigger things that were equally undetailed, or much of the same. These two were probably my last builds in the dorm, and you can't see much improvement overall. Sure, it's better, but we're still not cresting 4 / 10.

Now, these builds aren't as terrible as my old ones ! Additionally, I don't want to discourage your enthusiasm!

But I'd suggest a look at the structure of your story, and the builds you've put out.

1. Part 1: A shoreline, and an introduction: Not at all a bad story, or build, and a good introduction to your characters.
2. Part 2: Doors and a story: Probably the worst build of all 5. and doesn't further the story a ton. Also released 2 days later, so I do know you were rushing This build could very easily have been combined with 1. or 2.
3. Part 3: A boardwalk. Probably my favorite build of yours in total, but it doesn't really do the build justice. Looking at your flickr, this shot shows a pretty awesome build, that I would have loved to have seen more of. Your post really just shows off the one corner!
4. Part 4: A shoreline, and a small catacombs. It's a decent build and an interesting story. I don't have any complaints about this...
5. Part 5: The Same shoreline, and a microbuild. ...but this is the same shoreline, recycled, plus just a microbuild. Why not just combine the two? What does the 2nd post add that the first one was missing?

Third, if you want to use someone's character's / story / elements, PM them. Everyone I've PM'd to borrow their character / elements has at the very least given me a friendly no, and an explanation. Aditionally, I've gotten some great build ideas from it as well. 

So, since I know you're rushing to get things out, I'd really say, slow down! The brick seas will be here next week! Make sure that every build is built as well as good as you think it should be, before you move on to photographing. I'd also encourage that the shots look clean, well lit, and properly placed before you are even ready to post. There are plenty of technique tutorials, and easy things you can do to improve your builds, and photography.

I'm telling you this because @Bregir told me this in 2018, and I 100% didn't listen to him. Additionally, at a certain level of laziness and metagaming, (Note, I have no idea if you've been licensing these builds, but if you are, definitely take not of this!) The GMs will step in. Granted, you need to be licensing way more than you should, and it requires a spectacular amount of Laziness (many, many magnitudes high) before this  happens. This is was the straw that broke the camel's back for Mesabi Landing.

So, I don't want to discourage, only suggest. And you'd need to try to be as lazy as me. I'm liking your stuff so far, and I want to see you go places.

[Count Vroskri]

@Mesabi

First, thank you very much for the kind words regarding my microbuild.

The reason I post so much is I joined last October and did nothing to my story and nothing at all. So I decided that I'd establish the story line of Sean first as was recommended by people in the Sea Rats PM ,  and as there are no limit on monthly free builds, I thought I would put some out. I still have several more written.

As for the parts, I will address them in turn. As for 2, I've  had this before, it is not very good. 

As for 3, tried to reveal as little as I can for that moc, as they are for a particular area, which is not yet named has not been developed yet, and so I can't reveal to much. (I know, there's a lot in the picture.) 

As for 4 and 5, you are right they also use the same moc, this is because they are the same place. They could easily be combined if I retook the first photos without the WTC marines. 

Which leads my onto my next point. 

Next time I want to use someone's character, story or element I will definitely PM them, you are right. It's the better thing to do. 

However, the reason I removed the WTC is a different reason. I removed them because I was recommended to do so not because I hadn't asked, but because I was told to ' Not encourage the WTC.' because they were 'Gaming the game'. I know you've both changed, but this is what I was told. 

As for licencing, these are not being licenced as properties, only as freebuild, because I don't have a choice whether I register as freebuild. 

Am I posting too much? Are the MOCs rushed? 

I'm not sure, but no one else has picked up on this, so I'd like some feedback on this from others. 

@Professor Thaum @Kwatchi

@Ayrlego @Bregir @Bodi @Capt Wolf @blackdeathgr

 

[Professor Thaum]

Wow wow...

So many tags !

Keep cool comrade

[Mesabi]

Ok, story time / word vomit. 

I get your points. My main point is Quality over Quantity, a lesson I learned too late. Far too late. 

16 minutes ago, Count Vroskri said:

 

However, the reason I removed the WTC is a different reason. I removed them because I was recommended to do so not because I hadn't asked, but because I was told to ' Not encourage the WTC.' because they were 'Gaming the game'. I know you've both changed, but this is what I was told. 

Yeah, sounds about right. And I'd like to make a point very clear, I was a terrible player until about January of 2019. The WTC abusively Metagamed for the good majority of its existence, put out subpar builds, and soured the game for more than a few people. 

I started the WTC as a certified insane version of the POTC East India Company. Darnok joined me, as we have a very similar sense of humor, and love of metagaming, and we've been causing chaos on the brick seas ever since. 

That hasn't always been a good thing. 

Mesabi Landing holds the highest rank of city in BoBS. Why? Because the rules were written in a certain way, and Darnok and I worked to level up the city as fast as possible. We wanted to have the biggest and best city in the Brick Seas. Well, we reached the 2nd highest rank, but in doing it, we tainted our reputation, and the game for quite a few players. As a result, no one (other than us) builds there, no one docks there (even though the trade value is great), and we're shunned from quite a bit of the community in the game. (I suppose the last point is debatable, but that's the way I feel, accurate or not.)

Did we game the game? Yeah. (again, see the ML paragraph) There was a time Darnok licensed 20 some prefab rowboats as class 0 ships to make a giant attack fleet. Completely against the "spirit of the game" to build ships, but completely legal at the time. I have more than a few spreadsheets that calculate out the % chance of how a ship battle resolves. I cared more about the "game" aspect than my build aspect, particularly because I'm not an amazing builder. 

Additionally, our combative attitude, and our general "letter of the law" rather than the "spirit of the law" attitude pissed off more than a few players. There was talk at one point of Darnok and I leaving COR, which we couldn't even really do because SR had enough issues with us. 

Anyways, between the two, the GMs decided to do the 'Tsunami' thing in spring of 2019. Granted, it hit me at a really bad time in my life, but with some time, I really think it was the shock I needed to really improve my builds.

But even now, I still know that people aren't happy with my presence, and status on the Brick Seas. I have the third highest land income of any player (last I checked) but I would happen to guess more than a few people would feel that this is unearned. And I know, for the foreseeable future this probably won't change. 

I do take some offense to the idea of "Don't encourage the WTC," especially after near a year and a half of calm from us. But I do understand the sentiment, and I know that if I want to change it, I need to behave, and be a positive influence on the Brick Seas. 

Anyways, my two point is twofold: 

1. Quality over Quantity. I would say, imho every post should be a unique build, and each build should exist as its own story, or chapter therein. That was the main point of my above comment. 

2. I get why people don't particularly appreciate me or my stories. I screwed up, tainted my relationship with the BoBS community, most of which was due to ignoring lack of feedback on my part.

So yeah, sorry for the word vomit, and all the chaos I caused over the years. Don't be an idiot like @Mesabi and sacrifice build quality, it's the path to the dark side. 

[Count Vroskri]

@Mesabi

I think I'll combine this with part four, if possible. Once the people I tagged give there opinion. 

Edited September 6, 2020 by Count Vroskri
New update

[Ayrlego]

@Count Vroskri I made some comments in Part 4 - I'll just quickly address some of the points raised above.

There are no limits on how many freebuilds you can submit per month. If you submit a Build Submittal Form  you can even earn some DBs for them (I haven't yet checked if you are indeed doing this.) From memory I think only the first four a month earn DBs. Mesabi makes some excellent points about quality over quantity; however I certainly don't have any issues with the quality of your builds. 

I'm glad you are enjoying immersing yourself in the world of BoBS, keep up the good work.

[blackdeathgr]

Very enjoying story, well picked photos (huge improvement over your earlier ones) and nice builds. Keep them coming!

Regarding (subjectively) subpar builds or not (that otherwise tell a story or are built in a spur of the moment/as a fast reply to an event, or anything similar), my opinion is that if you feel that a certain build isn't worth it, you can avoid licensing it as a money generating build. Or post it, listen to comments in order to improve it, then enhance it and then license it. At least, that's what I am doing all these years.

We are a helpful grudge-free community that all we want to do is have fun and try not to game the system at the same time. Cheers!

Edited September 6, 2020 by blackdeathgr

[Bregir]

17 hours ago, Count Vroskri said:

Am I posting too much? Are the MOCs rushed? 

I'm not sure, but no one else has picked up on this, so I'd like some feedback on this from others. 

I don't think your mocs seem rushed (just had an enjoyable read through the stories), although the cadence is very high

I entirely agree with Mesabi on most of his points, and in particular about combining some of your posts (going forward). It becomes very staccato to read, a bit like a Dan Brown novel - loads of cliffhangers, but little substance to each individual chapter, if you get my meaning. It would be an easier, more pleasant, and easier to follow, read if this had been e.g. 3 instalments rather than 5.

Mesabi has a lot of good points, and an interesting story of his own developments here. He has come out "the other side" with some lessons learned, and I am happy to see he shares them.

17 hours ago, Count Vroskri said:

However, the reason I removed the WTC is a different reason. I removed them because I was recommended to do so not because I hadn't asked, but because I was told to ' Not encourage the WTC.' because they were 'Gaming the game'. I know you've both changed, but this is what I was told. 

If anyone has any misgivings about the WTCs current (meta) methods, I trust they will approach the court. I am not too happy if we have a community, where some players are actively being excluded. Let us handle any issues instead. In the eyes of the court, former "issues" with the WTC are handled and in the past. Now we move on, and has been for a considerable time.

That said, the WTC is IC definitely a sometimes troublesome part of COR, and there may be many reasons to be careful with them IC. But for dodgy mercenary work, you will find that they are eminently well-suited.

16 hours ago, Mesabi said:

I do take some offense to the idea of "Don't encourage the WTC," especially after near a year and a half of calm from us. But I do understand the sentiment, and I know that if I want to change it, I need to behave, and be a positive influence on the Brick Seas. 

I agree with you, Mesabi. I suggest you shrug it off as best you can, but I have seen nothing OOC negative or heard any complaints since the tsumani incident.

That said, you probably have a bit of image building needed. The IC image is probably quite well-established and as you like, but OOC I know you are working on it, and I think you are doing well.

[Count Vroskri]

@Bregir @blackdeathgr @Ayrlego

Thanks for all the replies. I am happy that you've enjoyed my stories, and in future I will make each part larger to decrease the number to come. I do have several more, but I can decrease that to two. 

@Ayrlego

I am glad to find that my builds are not subpar, this is good. 

@Bregir @Mesabi

As I was not here I do not judge the WTC on any previous mistakes, and as I have read the Tsunami Thread, I see you have obviously learned the error of your ways. I do not judge the WTC, for it was not I who told me not to feature them, it was someone else who I believe is on the court who said that. I was following suggestions from a higher ranking member. 

Thanks for the complements regarding the stories. 

@Mesabi If I came off a little rude, I am sorry. I did not mean to and I hope you can forgive me if I offended you.

Thanks, 

Count Vroski. 

Edited September 7, 2020 by Count Vroskri
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