Mystery on the Excelsior - Chapter One

[Bob]

3 hours ago, Hinckley said:

*knock, knock, knock* Excuse me, Alfie or whoever? Hello, did I disturb you? The FTL drive's conduit runs right through your lavatory. I need to bang it with a wrench. Won't take more than a second.

So, what did you invent? Whose work are you familiar with? Are you a fan boy of Oliver Hudson? He's weird, right?

 

"Well, I can't really reveal what I'm about to invent lately! It's top secret! That sounds dangerous as well! Will the conduit explode or something? As for Oliver Hudson, I've heard of one of his paintings before."

3 hours ago, Hinckley said:

Hi Ezra, I'm aware you don't like to be bothered but the FTL drive has caused an invisible fire in your room. Only I can see it with my special glasses, so pardon me for a moment. Not too dangerous, I can blow the fires out like birthday candles. You're lucky I'm here. You could've been severely invisibly burned! So, tell me about yourself? Don't like people much? I don't either. I love animals, though. You seem introverted, but how about you spill your guts to me anyway? Tell me everything. Specifically, if you know any of the other passengers or crew and how.

"...What? I think I'll take my chances with this invisible fire. And no, I don't like people much. I don't have anything to tell you. I do know some of the other passengers from their work. I believe I recognize Charlotte Sawyer, mostly because I voted against her in the election. I also read Jack Mallory's book about his time on the Mars colony." 

3 hours ago, Hinckley said:

*knock, knock, knock*

Hello, Jason Falcon. Sorry to bother you. You seem familiar, like I played you in a former life or something, whatever that means. The FTL drive is leaking poisonous gas into your cabin. I'll just need to adjust some valves and doohickies located in your closet. Are you hiding anything in there you don't want anyone to see? If so, grab it real quick before I get to work. And tell me what it is your hiding, while you're at it. And maybe you could tell me all about yourself real quick. That would be nice. I have a lot of valves to turn, so I'll be here for a while. May as well tell me your life story while I'm at it. Specifically, has any part of your life revolved around any of the other passengers or crew? Did we bang at some point?

*knock, knock, knock*

Hi, Pierce. I'm looking for Colin's liger. I believe he's in the ventilation and seems to have stopped in the air intake in your floor. May I come in or would you rather be eaten by a liger? Tell me all about yourself, OK? Like what do you do for a living? Do you know any of the other passengers or crew?

 

Neither of these two people are in the lounge wihere you currently are - they're both on the bridge flying the ship.

[Hinckley]

13 minutes ago, Bob said:

Neither of these two people are in the lounge wihere you currently are - they're both on the bridge flying the ship.

*knock, knock, knock* 

Hey boys, there’s a gas leak on the bridge. I’ll fix it quickly and be out of your hair. How about these hoity-toity bourgeoisie passengers? They’re all apparently celebrities or some shit. You guys know any of them?

[Bob]

1 minute ago, Hinckley said:

*knock, knock, knock* 

Hey boys, there’s a gas leak on the bridge. I’ll fix it quickly and be out of your hair. How about these hoity-toity bourgeoisie passengers? They’re all apparently celebrities or some shit. You guys know any of them?

"None of our instruments are registering a gas leak. I've heard of some of the passengers, but I don't know for sure."

"What type of gas leak? We don't even use gas on this ship. I don't know any of the passengers because I've not seen the manifest." 

[KotZ]

4 minutes ago, Hinckley said:

Hey boys, there’s a gas leak on the bridge.

Sorry, that was me.

[Hinckley]

2 hours ago, Bob said:

"None of our instruments are registering a gas leak. I've heard of some of the passengers, but I don't know for sure."

"What type of gas leak? We don't even use gas on this ship. I don't know any of the passengers because I've not seen the manifest." 

Like we don’t use gas for heating.  

I can fly the ship if you guys want to head to the lounge. A lab rat could fly this ship. The course is plotted and the instruments are scanning the route for anomalies. Go have fun. They’re all super irritating. We can gossip about them later. 

Oh, ooops! Did I sit on the comm button again? Sorry, folks. That's why the fine print on your tickets say you may be insulted by the engineer. I don't mean it, though. It's just crew banter.

Morons.

Ooops! Time for another drink, I think.

 

[Hinckley]

2 hours ago, Bob said:

Well, I can't really reveal what I'm about to invent lately! It's top secret!

Naturally, a-doi! I meant, what other things have you invented previously that you can talk about? Anything we might all know or use on a daily basis? Did you invent my hair bagler?

2 hours ago, Bob said:

That sounds dangerous as well! Will the conduit explode or something?

It probably would've but I fixed it now, so you're welcome. Come back to the lounge for another drink. It's way too early to turn in. Come on. I have lots more questions for you. I find people so interesting.

2 hours ago, Bob said:

"...What? I think I'll take my chances with this invisible fire. And no, I don't like people much. I don't have anything to tell you. I do know some of the other passengers from their work. I believe I recognize Charlotte Sawyer, mostly because I voted against her in the election. I also read Jack Mallory's book about his time on the Mars colony."

Oh, that was a good book. I should talk to him about that. Maybe he's not a piece of shit like the rest of them. I'll go buy him a drink. I voted against Sawyer to for her unspecific political office. Did you just disagree with her policies? Or were you running against her? Or maybe someone you loved was running against her and her win ruined your friend's life or she has some motive to kill you or something like that?

Another martini, please! Straight up and dirty with a twist. Thanks, darling. Put it on my considerable tab. *hic*

[Trekkie99]

Oi wut's this three course dinner bout eh? A man can only go so long on vegimite toast.

[Bob]

27 minutes ago, Hinckley said:

Naturally, a-doi! I meant, what other things have you invented previously that you can talk about? Anything we might all know or use on a daily basis? Did you invent my hair bagler?

It probably would've but I fixed it now, so you're welcome. Come back to the lounge for another drink. It's way too early to turn in. Come on. I have lots more questions for you. I find people so interesting.

"Oh, sorry! I have experience in holographic technology! I don't think it's anything that you've heard of as an FTL engineer, though. And what do you mean? I am in the lounge. We all are." 

28 minutes ago, Hinckley said:

Oh, that was a good book. I should talk to him about that. Maybe he's not a piece of shit like the rest of them. I'll go buy him a drink. I voted against Sawyer to for her unspecific political office. Did you just disagree with her policies? Or were you running against her? Or maybe someone you loved was running against her and her win ruined your friend's life or she has some motive to kill you or something like that?

Another martini, please! Straight up and dirty with a twist. Thanks, darling. Put it on my considerable tab. *hic*

"I just disagreed with her policies. What is with all these questions about murder? I think I'm heading off to my cabin now, I don't like these questions." 

[Trekkie99]

Hey have any of you watched Murder on the Orient Express? Good movie.

[Trekkie99]

31 minutes ago, Bob said:

"I just disagreed with her policies. What is with all these questions about murder? I think I'm heading off to my cabin now, I don't like these questions." 

Wut bout you there mate? You seen it? You look the type to keep a gun under ya pillow. Gosh I'm giving my self jeebies.

[jimmynick]

Movie? I am only familiar with the book. Classic!

Just now, Trekkie99 said:

gun under ya pillow.

"Tell me James" - now Tomorrow Never Dies is a good movie. I think I've got it on holo-laser cube back on Earth.

[Trekkie99]

Just now, jimmynick said:

Movie? I am only familiar with the book. Classic!

"Tell me James" - now Tomorrow Never Dies is a good movie. I think I've got it on holo-laser cube back on Earth.

Never seen dat one. More of a Tom Cruise lad meself. We should show each other ours movies sometime eh?

[Hinckley]

6 hours ago, KotZ said:

Sorry, that was me.

Hi Kyle, um, Jack. I really did enjoy your book. I bought you a drink. It's rude not to drink it. Tell me more about your time on Mars.

[KotZ]

1 hour ago, Hinckley said:

Hi Kyle, um, Jack. I really did enjoy your book. I bought you a drink. It's rude not to drink it. Tell me more about your time on Mars.

Well thank you. And oh you know, just the usual, like everyone else. Drinking. Eating. Drinking. Ornithology. There are some fantastic bird evolutions on the planet. Also, lots of drinking. The sunrise is beautiful when I've got a drink in your hands. And a book.

[Darkdragon]

Turning from the bar with a daiquiri, she bumps right into Ezra while he is fleeing Gabriella's terrifying and unending line of questioning.

"Oh, pardon me, sir.  Is everything alright? I hope I didn't spill anything on you. Oh! My little umbrella." 

She picks up her little umbrella from where it landed on Ezra's shoe. Wiping a bit of daiquiri off the shoe with the napkin she was holding.

"I'm really sorry about that, I hope it won't damage your shoes. Those aren't real leather are they?"

 

[Waterbrick Down]

15 hours ago, Bob said:

"No, thank you. I'd like to not be bothered." 

Ships activities for the first day consist of the meet and greet in the lounge, followed by a three course dinner, and finished with relaxing music in the lounge before the guests turn in for the night. 

"Certainly sir, I'll see to it."

5 hours ago, Hinckley said:

Another martini, please! Straight up and dirty with a twist. Thanks, darling. Put it on my considerable tab. *hic*

"Genie, are you sure you should be drinking this much on the clock?"

[Hinckley]

1 hour ago, Waterbrick Down said:

"Genie, are you sure you should be drinking this much on the clock?"

Gee, Arthur, excuse me for wanting a break. I'm the only Engineer on this ship. I'm always on the clock. So, when am I supposed to drink?

[Waterbrick Down]

27 minutes ago, Hinckley said:

Gee, Arthur, excuse me for wanting a break. I'm the only Engineer on this ship. I'm always on the clock. So, when am I supposed to drink?

"Point taken, in that case should I make it a double?"

[Shadows]

14 hours ago, Hinckley said:

*knock, knock, knock* Excuse me, Alfie or whoever? Hello, did I disturb you? The FTL drive's conduit runs right through your lavatory. I need to bang it with a wrench.

*ahem* We DO NOT knock up the NPCs for a quick bang in the middle of the night.

And YOU do not fly the ship, you simply keep the engines in working order so that I may fly the ship.

[Tariq j]

8 hours ago, jimmynick said:

Movie? I am only familiar with the book. Classic!

"Tell me James" - now Tomorrow Never Dies is a good movie. I think I've got it on holo-laser cube back on Earth.

"No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!" Man I love that series. 

[jimmynick]

2 hours ago, Tariq j said:

"No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!" Man I love that series. 

It’s good but I think interplanetary travel is even better! It’s so exciting, and I’ve never left home before. I felt terribly lonely sometimes when Georgie was off on business trips while I was at home ironing out the details of this contract and the contract.

6 hours ago, KotZ said:

Well thank you. And oh you know, just the usual, like everyone else. Drinking. Eating. Drinking. Ornithology. There are some fantastic bird evolutions on the planet. Also, lots of drinking. The sunrise is beautiful when I've got a drink in your hands. And a book.

Fascinating! I once saw a nature documentary about a bird that a third eye on the top of its head to keep watch for predators - I can’t remember its name but I know it lives on Mars. Is that one of the ones you saw?

[Bob]

6 hours ago, Darkdragon said:

Turning from the bar with a daiquiri, she bumps right into Ezra while he is fleeing Gabriella's terrifying and unending line of questioning.

"Oh, pardon me, sir.  Is everything alright? I hope I didn't spill anything on you. Oh! My little umbrella." 

She picks up her little umbrella from where it landed on Ezra's shoe. Wiping a bit of daiquiri off the shoe with the napkin she was holding.

"I'm really sorry about that, I hope it won't damage your shoes. Those aren't real leather are they?"

 

"This is the worst trip I've ever been on." 

[Lind Whisperer]

On 9/5/2020 at 10:46 AM, KotZ said:

"This newspaper seems to be out of date. It's last month's copy. My new release isn't on here."

"Please tell us about it anyways!"

On 9/5/2020 at 1:57 PM, Pandora said:

When you said you had a tiger named Colin, I didn't think you meant you had him here with you!

Are you crazy, bringing a wild animal into the depths of space?  I vote for the chef cooking up some food regularly to make sure Colin is not peckish. Ever. 

"Miss Sawyer, why don't you give us a lecture on your politics? I remember voting for you because of your financial policy... "

On 9/5/2020 at 2:08 PM, Fugazi said:

Maybe the chef can cook up Colin when we run out of coq-au-vin.

With apple sauce. Mmm.

"Professor, what's your non-professional psychological evaluation of us all?"

On 9/5/2020 at 4:23 PM, Kristel said:

I vote we slow cook him.  I learnt from my time in Sumatra that tiger meat can be very gamey and tough, but a 10 hour slow cook will produce a to-die-for stew.

"Sumatra? Tell us about it– or any other interesting place..."

15 hours ago, Bob said:

"Well, I can't really reveal what I'm about to invent lately! It's top secret! That sounds dangerous as well! Will the conduit explode or something? As for Oliver Hudson, I've heard of one of his paintings before."

"You know, my friend, as a CFO of one of Earth's major companies, I can financially open a lot of doors for you if so disposed... What sort of top-secret are we talking?"

[Pandora]

38 minutes ago, Lind Whisperer said:

"Miss Sawyer, why don't you give us a lecture on your politics? I remember voting for you because of your financial policy... "

Well, that is a very kind offer, but I find it best to engage in politics by talking to people on a more personal level. Too many of my predecessors would stand in front of large crowds and make sweeping promises that they clearly had no intention of keeping. I prefer to talk to individuals and small groups in a more interactive way to find ways to make society better for all of us, rather than lecture an intractable point of view. Obviously one has to forge ahead with a determined policy in order to get things done, but a representative should always be willing to accept feedback from her constituents. 

Another drink please steward.

[Fugazi]

1 hour ago, Lind Whisperer said:

"Professor, what's your non-professional psychological evaluation of us all?" 

I don't give non-professional opinions, go look on the Ubernet for that. I give professional opinions for a fee, but I can't form an opinion based on a few minutes of small talk.

But if you insist, I think everyone here needs pills.

Ok maybe not everyone, there are a few already past the point where pills will help. I'm also an expert in electroconvulsive therapy, by the way. Electroshocks, that is.