elementary

[Ep. XVII] [Rebels] [Week 6] Time for a snack

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I like to move my team one field to the right. 

"We are making great progress." As the team moves deeper into the forest and on its way to the shield generator they even take a time for a snack. 768x1024.jpg

 

I hope it's ok that the image is in portrait mode. 

I would love to get some feedback as this is my first MOC. 

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Posted (edited)

@elementaryMaybe add a few blue tiles to the water, so it will stand out a bit more. I think your MOC looks better than my first one. 

Edited by Markov Zinhae
hit ENTER prematurely

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This is a great first build! Your trees have some good texture and I like the sand you added by the water's edge.

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Good work :thumbup:, I like the way you've done the shoreline and the rock formation with the slope pieces.

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Wow, Elementary, that's really good! The collection of bricks on display is modest, but the result is quite something. I can hardly believe this is your first MOC, because you do a lot of thing right that more experienced builders can still get wrong!

For example, you did a great job to make the scene feel natural. The trees are not to blocky and not too round, but are something in between and have a great deal of texture as well: SNOTting them was an awesome decision. The danger is that the transition between the rough trunk and the smooth branches could have been too jarring, but I'm very impressed by how you solve it: on some faces (it could have been more though), you don't end the plated part at the same height to avoid an abrupt cutoff of the texture, and you even use a tile on the left tree to get a mix of the shape of the SNOT part but the texture of the smooth branches. It shows that you really think hard about textures to have such subtle things in you MOC like that. Putting the tree at an angle also makes it feel more natural. Really, the only thing lacking on the trees (apart from the fact that's its a bit of a pity that they are cut off at the top) is the bases. Now they just shoot out of the ground instead of being rooted in it. Some brown plates on the ground would have been enough, and the picture also accidentally shows a nice solution: if you would have placed that brown Y-shaped carrot top piece towards the back just a stud closer to the tree, it would have been an effective and novel way to depict a root that rises a bit from the ground.

It's also nice how you made your rocks so smooth yet faceted . That way they both look like they've been smoothed by the water over time, and stand out against all of the studded textures in the rest of the build such that you have some great variation. The beach looks great because it doesn't look like a single plate but has a lot of relief in it. What could have been better, is that all of your light tan plates could have been on a bit of a higher level than the dark tan plates to create an upward slope, because now the right part of the beach looks a little bit weird because it goes back down again, but that's only a small nitpick. I have a bigger issue with the transition between the beach and the grass: suddenly it becomes very flat with you only using big plates there. It's especially weird that you have one green plate overhanging the other with vertical gap between them. You seem to have a floating bit of grass. If that's because you don't have enough green plates, no problem, but maybe you could have put the topmost green plate at an angle then (not with hinges, just by connecting it loosely at one side and pressing it down), which would have made things even more organic then.

Really, this creation looks terrific. The nature looks natural and the nicely spread textures and colors make it easy to look at. Even your figure placement has some gems with that lovely image of the soldier playfully sitting on the rock to rest (it would have even been better if your other figures would sit against a tree or something like that as well such that it looks like all of your characters are really engaging with each other instead of ignoring each other). My biggest advice for you now would be to think a little bit more about how things would physically work (the gap between the plates, the weird relief in the beach, that strange vertical brown bar floating in the tree...) so that you have no things that pull the viewer out of the immersion. Because I'd love to be immersed in that wonderful piece of nature of yours...

Keep up the great work!

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15 hours ago, BEAVeR said:

Wow, Elementary, that's really good! The collection of bricks on display is modest, but the result is quite something. I can hardly believe this is your first MOC, because you do a lot of thing right that more experienced builders can still get wrong!

I did rebuild some other people's MOCs to learn  but this is my first own creation.

Wow!

thank you for such a detailed feedback!

 

 

 

15 hours ago, BEAVeR said:

For example, you did a great job to make the scene feel natural. The trees are not to blocky and not too round, but are something in between and have a great deal of texture as well: SNOTting them was an awesome decision. The danger is that the transition between the rough trunk and the smooth branches could have been too jarring, but I'm very impressed by how you solve it: on some faces (it could have been more though), you don't end the plated part at the same height to avoid an abrupt cutoff of the texture, and you even use a tile on the left tree to get a mix of the shape of the SNOT part but the texture of the smooth branches. It shows that you really think hard about textures to have such subtle things in you MOC like that. Putting the tree at an angle also makes it feel more natural. Really, the only thing lacking on the trees (apart from the fact that's its a bit of a pity that they are cut off at the top) is the bases. Now they just shoot out of the ground instead of being rooted in it. Some brown plates on the ground would have been enough, and the picture also accidentally shows a nice solution: if you would have placed that brown Y-shaped carrot top piece towards the back just a stud closer to the tree, it would have been an effective and novel way to depict a root that rises a bit from the ground.

It's also nice how you made your rocks so smooth yet faceted . That way they both look like they've been smoothed by the water over time, and stand out against all of the studded textures in the rest of the build such that you have some great variation. The beach looks great because it doesn't look like a single plate but has a lot of relief in it. What could have been better, is that all of your light tan plates could have been on a bit of a higher level than the dark tan plates to create an upward slope, because now the right part of the beach looks a little bit weird because it goes back down again, but that's only a small nitpick. I have a bigger issue with the transition between the beach and the grass: suddenly it becomes very flat with you only using big plates there. It's especially weird that you have one green plate overhanging the other with vertical gap between them. You seem to have a floating bit of grass. If that's because you don't have enough green plates, no problem, but maybe you could have put the topmost green plate at an angle then (not with hinges, just by connecting it loosely at one side and pressing it down), which would have made things even more organic then.

Really, this creation looks terrific. The nature looks natural and the nicely spread textures and colors make it easy to look at. Even your figure placement has some gems with that lovely image of the soldier playfully sitting on the rock to rest (it would have even been better if your other figures would sit against a tree or something like that as well such that it looks like all of your characters are really engaging with each other instead of ignoring each other). My biggest advice for you now would be to think a little bit more about how things would physically work (the gap between the plates, the weird relief in the beach, that strange vertical brown bar floating in the tree...) so that you have no things that pull the viewer out of the immersion. Because I'd love to be immersed in that wonderful piece of nature of yours...

Keep up the great work!

Thank you. 

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