[ESL CH5E] A Belated Party - Jan Zwartbaard Collab Part 2

[Maxim I]

Amazing part one by Sir Stig

Part two:

After the discoveries in Breshaun, Jan Zwartbaard went asap to Trador. Lord Maximilian Damaximus was easily convinced to sent at least an exploration party.

Jan Zwartbaad could use the AQAR to sail to New Haven. The 50 gun vessel would be a safe head quarter for exploration.

Once arrived at the beach, they set up a small camp ashore, manned by 40 soldiers. 50 soldiers stayed  in the AQAR and 10 soldiers went exploring the jungle together with Jan Zwartbaard and a few Tenotclaxcan warriors. Zwartbaard hoped those natives would be helpfull when encountering new tribes.

The jungle itself kept surprising Zwartbaard. So many wonderfull colours and animals. Luckily he was not a Corringtonlander or he would have been distracted all the time figuring out the newly discovered fauna and flora. Sometimes, he looked around him as he was sure they were being watched, but he could not see other humans.

Part three:

If the calculations were right, they would be in the middle of the island now. They would discover a lake soonish.

And indeed, a few minutes later, they arrived at a complete new world.

What they saw was not a flourishing village, but a destroyed and razed settlement. Upon arriving, he could not find a single living soul. Jan Zwartbaard ordered his soldiers to search for any clue they could find.

It was at this point his Tenotclaxcan friends were helpfull as their well-trained ears heard some silent noise under one of the burnt houses.

 

They quickly headed to what used to be the biggest building, discovering a small entrance to a hide-out. The natives they saw inside the hide-out were frightened and refused to come out.

Jan Zwartbaard understood that they were too late. Mardier already arrived first and burned down the village in their struggle to find the treasure. Jan Zwartbaard ordered to give food to the survivors.

 

Accepting his losses and not looking forward to report his defeat, he decided to stay a bit longer here and ordered his men to start building a campment in the village. 2 Soldiers went back to the shore to get 20 more soldiers and some supplies and materials. The more food they gave to the natives, the more they came out of their hide-outs and out of the jungle.

Due to the actions of Jan Zwartbaard, the natives became friendly and with the help of the Tenotclaxcans, some sort of communication started. It was a surprise when the Tenotclaxcans understood the words of the natives and vice versa. It appears that the village they discovered is the capital of the Azclaxcans Tribes and they are relatives of the Tenotclaxcans.

It were indeed orange wearing people who raided the village when they found out there was no huge amount of gold stored in the houses. They probably went to the next village, so the natives fear that their neighbours will have had the same destiny.

After hearing what horrible deeds Mardier did, Jan Zwartbaard announced they had to go back to the known world to ask for back up and more resources. He appointed one of his sergeants in charge of 20 soldiers who would stay on the island to help rebuilding the other villages together with the Azclaxcans and some of the younger Tenotclaxcans who have no wife at home who would be angry because they would be really really late for dinner.

Just when they said goodbye, the prince of the Azclaxcans, Prince AzTe Hek, asked permission to his father, King AzTe Nek, to accompany Jan Zwartbaard.

 

The King not only gave permission, but also handed out a golden bracelet filled with precious diamonds to Jan Zwartbaard.

That’s why Mardier burned the village down, they didn’t find anything as it was hidden as well!

With the deepest bow he ever could do, Zwartbaard thanked the chief and started his journey back home together with prince AzTe Hek and a small MAESTRO party. Deep in thoughts, he figured how MAESTRO could secure the future of those natives. It would be a matter of time before other factions will visit the natives.

He took a last glimp over his shoulder to see the Azclaxcan King waving goodbye.

 

Some more overview pictures

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting! Congratz to everyone who participated in this challenge and the other challenges! It was a wonderfull Book 1 and I am looking forward to Book 2!

I have to thank the Eslandolan members for their activity through book 1. I am very happy I choosed Eslandola as faction as we were an united faction, even when divided in multiple trade companies.

Go MAESTRO! Go Eslandola!

 

Edited June 26, 2017 by Maxim I

[Garmadon]

Very nice story and great job with the overgrown and blackened ruins, Maxim, glad to hear the Eslandolans made it out on top in the end!   The water really looks very good here as well, and those Tenotclaxcans do look great!   Glad you managed to get this in! 

[Sir Stig]

The Azclaxcans bring new additions to native hat collectors! Readallaboutit! I see only the most prominent tribesmembers have earned the honours of headgear. We have much to learn from these.

 

[Capt Wolf]

Great job with the ruins! And I love the details we learn about the natives in both parts of the story. Well done!

[Tezclatipoca]

Great job on the ruins !

I am happy to see the quality of the Ténotclaxcan scouts been used by Eslandolan explorers now ! And the monkey hatted native is just hilarious !

your Aztlcaxcans are a great addition !

You can count on me to help you in developping this area and secure it with fresh Ténotclaxcan blood ! 

Good job !

[Bodi]

This is a big build, it shoud take you many hours to complete it, and the result is astonishing, I like the story and the assortment of minifigs, good job!

[Captain Braunsfeld]

Fine adventure of Jan Schwarzbart!

Good to see the Tenotclaxcans appear.

I am also happy to see how well Eslandola has worked out. I never thought we'd be able to present so many fine green soldiers

.... divided in multiple trade companies ... well there was one guy who was keen on having his own trade company

Everyone is still free to join the EWTC!  (ETWC?  ECTW?)

[Bregir]

Overall nice build and story, Maxim. I am guessing you would still like some feedback, so let me lead you through my judging process. :)

• Story
  First of all, I am a big fan of collabs, which is a big plus in my book. For collabs, it is really important to tie the story well together and make it easy to read. In this case, the story is tied in well, but the tie isn't too close. Perhaps some recurring characters, or some thicker story elements could help. Currently the "only" thing carried over is some intelligence. A small scene of Damaximus receiving the message, and sending out the expedition would show us another step in the process, which is currently a bit vague.
  Other than that, I think the story for this part of the build is well thought-out, although the language seems a bit staccato to me from time to time. I personally prefer some measure of poetical flourish, and you could ask one or two of your fellow Eslandians to read the story and give feedback before posting. Overall, nice work, though.
• Presentation
  Your pictures are clear, well-lit and the background doesn't disturb the pictures and your choice of angles and use of close-ups work well to tell the story. I have seen better pictures in light and colour, but these are pretty good.
• Build
  Massive build with no empty parts. Nice idea with the burned down village, and fairly good landscaping. Both your landscaping and the ruins do appear a bit blocky in places, though. For the ruins, working with plates interspersed with bricks, rather than mainly bricks could give them a more ruined look, and working on fewer right angles in the landscaping could help too. I like the use of black to show charred bits, but think you could have used it even more (especially if you used more 1xX plates in the ruins). Perhaps some charred roof beams and the like could add to the build. I am aware that at this scope, though, finishing details can sometimes suffer. A few detractors from my side (personal opinion): I am not a fan of mixing fleshie and yellow figs. (Honestly, I don't like fleshies at all, but that is up to people to decide :) ) It makes the fleshies look so strange and pale, and just doesn't look right to me. Second, I am not a fan of "silly elements", at least not unless they have a good explanation. What are those two eyes on the rockface for? I don't get it, and to me, it distracts me from the build.
• Overall
  Overall, I think this is a very good entry, and the size alone makes for a very impressive build. Personally, I would probably lower the ambition level sizewise a bit, and put more focus into the finish and details of the build. That said, I really like the well thought-out story, and the many scenes of the build. Well done.