Sign in to follow this  

EB News Presents: Asuka

Recommended Posts

Announcer Voice: Due to the continuing writers strike (that's why the jokes have been so bad around here, now I get it...), EB TV has asked EB News Presents to broadcast an extra episode this week. We hope to be able to offer our normal program, Girls of the Elven Kingdom Gone Wild! at some time in the near future. VERY NEAR! PLEASE! *wub*

Hey, stop that! >:-(

Sorry... Until then!

Welcome to what I think will be one of the more unusual episodes of EB News Presents. I'm not sure why I think that, but I bet I'm right.

I'm your host, imperialshadows, this is everyone's favourite reporter Staudie (ok, he's the only reporter, go figure) and our special guest this evening is Asuka, who's pictures are often worth even more than 1,000 words, but tonight, we'll get some of those too.

Thanks for having me! I've been really busy lately, but I have more time now and am planning to make an effort to include everything a serious interview could need: sex, crime and exotic locations! I hope you'll like it...

Like I said... it's going to be interesting.

You said unusual.

Yes, I did.

*Asuka runs toward the camera, waving a newspaper which reads*

Zensational!! Lost member Asuka found stranded on tropical island!

Last minute rescue from the hands of cannibalistic hula girls!!

Eye witness says: ''It was shocking! They tried to eat him.. alive!"

Don't do that.


Just. Don't. *gives Asuka a look*

I've seen that look before.

Many times.

Many times. 8-|

Let's get started!

Q. Long time no see.. What's up, doc?

A. I was just very busy with work and needed some holidays.

But it seems like there's no place to hide from you and your tough investigation crew....

Would you please take off the handcuffs, and for Buddha's sake this smelly sack on my head too?!

Sure, and in a few minutes our stewardess will serve some champagne and peanuts... :-|

Q. Why that quite exotic name for an ordinary Austrian?

A. Since a long time I'm pretty interested in Zen-stuff and Asian culture, and Asuka's just the name of a period in Japans history that's famous for the introduction of Buddhism. It's also the name of a river and there's a nice story I would like to to tell....

Huh? Wha? Oh, yeah, relaxing stuff that. Relaxed me to sleep... |-/

Q. And what's the story with your funny avatar?

A. Well, the Unicorn was always a fabulous beast of mysterious powers and very handsome to the maidens.... Nah, seriously, I simply like Blade Runner and Origami....

Is this a Zen show, or are we about to drift into the world of Tantra?

Q. How long have you collected lego?

A. Hmm.... I don't know.... I was a little child when my parents handed the first LEGO set to me, I guess it was 351 Loader hopper with truck (Gravel Depot), and since this day LEGO became the favorite toy of my whole childhood.

Of course there were not many video games back in those years.... but we still had tv when I was young, mind you! I remember well watching Star Trek and building my own little S.F.universe out of LEGO.... till the day other things caught my interest, things with long hair and tempting legs and

very soft voices.... my Dark Ages started slowly when I was 15 years old.... And I was over thirty when I came back to the joy of playing with these smart little plastic bricks.

LEGO still leaves plenty of room for long hair and tempting legs and ... Moving on!

Q. What's your Favourite Set, grandpa?

A. That's Mr. grandpa for you, and it's clearly the 918 Space Ship, what a wonderful world appeared with that lovely baby for a S.F. aficionado like me who always dreamed of becoming a space hero like William Shatner.... Ach, these sweet memories.... Space...the Final Frontier.... to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before....

I hate to agree with Staudie, but hey, there has to be a first time. You're old! Seriously... beam me up, Scotty!

Q. So Space is your Favourite Theme I guess?

A. Yes, perhaps.... although, since I grow up and came back to LEGO, with the obviously Star Wars theme, I discovered a lot of other themes like Town, Adventurers and Castle, so I'm fascinated by nearly every LEGO theme right now. My poor wallet's heavily afraid of this situation....

As LEGO rediscovers their lost glory, we all suffer a little in the wallet.

Q. Best In Real Life Lego Moment?

A. It happened in 1999 I guess.... I was pretty stunned when I walked down a street and suddenly saw all these

new Star Wars sets in the window of a toy shop. I instantly remembered all the fun I had with MOCing my own X-wing fighter more than twentyfive years back. But everytime I`m able to find a satisfying solution during a MOCing process is very fine to me.

Q. Best Eb Moment?

A. The day I found out that such a great community exists.

Q. What caused your strange obsession with pictures?

A. I have no idea what you're talking about.


Yeah, ok...

Q. You always have only friendly words for other persons MOCs. What do you think about constructive critique?

A. I like it. But I'm not very good in doing it. Every MOC's still wonderful to me because it's an impression of creativity and fun, and I find it hard to tell how I personally would make things different. I simply try not to put to much weight on my own point of view and when I found something to criticise it's usually about the functional aspects of a MOC and not about its aestethical appearance.

Yes, better to only say something good. It's why I don't talk about Staudie much.

Q. Am I annoying yet?

A. Sometimes. But my experience with Zen and years of disciplined meditation'll help me make it through....

Om mani padme hum.... violence is no answer.... Om mani padme hum....

How zensible*

*Disclaimer: That wasn't my joke. Our special guest passed it to me on a slip of paper just now. Not to say I wouldn't have made it myself, but in this case, it isn't my fault.

Q. If you could design a custom set, what would it be? Whatever you want. No "Tantra style" sets please.

A. Maybe something Castle related, with many civilians in it. A Tavern would be nice I think.... a place for adventurers to meet and drink and sing some crazy songs....

Sounds like parts of EB. ;-)

Q. I guess you've met some EB members here. Can you describe them to us?

A. I've met some members of the Austrian LUG like shary and ruckzuck, they're all really nice people. And then there's still Hobbes of course, a very compassionate guy with a great LEGO wisdom.... Too bad that he's just a furry tiger and not a beautiful woman.... that would be perfect....

Oh.. I see why you're single, now. Still, maybe we can arrange a Love Connection*, right here on EB News... X-D

*All five Chuck Woolery fans in the audience got that joke.


Back to the questions. *gives Staudie the look*

Q. Can we see your lair? Or your place of, ah, meditation?

A. Most of my boxed sets're just stapled in the corner of a room and I'm still working on a brick storage system..... My Town and Castle layouts yet exist only in my crude mind, so I've nothing exciting to show right now. Nothing!

Q. Who should we interview next?

A. Everybody here's interesting enough to be tortured, ahem, interviewed by you. Just let the fun go on.

Thanks for joining us! Did you have anything else you'd like to add?

It was a unique pleasure. Om mani.... Hey! What's that big hammer for..?!


If I had a hammer

I'd hammer in the morning

I'd hammer in the evening

All over this land

I'd hammer out danger

I'd hammer out a warning

I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters

All over this land..


*Asuka is dragged out of the studio, singing and simulated hammering and otherwise being creepy*

That was unusual.

It was indeed.

We'll have to invite him back sometime.

Yeah, right after Hinckley. ;-)

They put this on instead of Girls of the Elven Kingdom Gone Wild?

Shut up.

*camera fades*

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Another great, and very relaxing interview *y*

S.F. aficionados ON!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hehe, One of my fav's so far (Actually I like them all, since this ismy show :P)!

Great Work asuka, Our guards needed some target practice! Just in time too!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Hehe, One of my fav's so far

I have to second that! *y*

With all these Star Trek memories... how could someone resist. *wub*

Seems that Asuka is older than I thought *checks members profile* - Oh my God! X-O X-D

Great to share the wisdom of the elderly ;-)

Go IS and Staudie, go!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Great to share the wisdom of the elderly ;-)

It really is.... so, to make fire, you would need two sticks of wood first and then.... *sing*


With his avatars I have developed an idea of Austria being a prefecture of Japan X-D

It certainly looks alike, sometimes.... :-P


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Another great review, it is always hilarious ummm...interesting...learning about other members Lego history and the like. Only to see almost EVERYONE has a bigger Lego lair than myself. *sing*

Review ON!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Great interview guys! Its always great to hear about another member, especially such a great guy like Asuka.

It was quite funny (and weird) too *y*

Batbrick Away! >:-)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

That's not old! Methuselah was old... What is wrong with you people? X-D

God Bless,


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Another great interview! It was nice to learn the little bit that I did about Asuka!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the interview imperialshadows and Stauder! Always interesting to read, and always something new learnt! Thanks to the guest Asuka too, I've been waiting for this one. X-D


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you sure you got te right guy? There wasn't much picture in it... I thought he almost only spoke with those :-D

Great interview, once again... keep it up

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.