LucByard Posted May 31, 2016 Yseult Brenneux stood silently in a dim corner of a M.A.N.T.S garage on Marphacia looking at the shabby shell of some old hovercycle, getting angrier by the moment. She didn't try to calm herself down... She didn't want to be calm. That's the one... The hairy scientist, she thought as she noticed Big Sal leaving the compound in his transport. She followed from a distance, a gentle cruise for her pride and joy, a modified Skyblade hovercycle. Once a bright azure, she'd painted it murky reds and greens to blend in to the equally murky topography of the planet she'd ended up being stuck on. When the transport stopped, as she expected, the occupants got out, as expected and the hairy scientist began pointing around wildly trying to make everyone understand his newest experiment... as expected. Yseult had no idea what it was all about but after listening to the scientist jabber on about it in a café at a nearby trading post for half an hour, it sounded ridiculous... Something about laser beans. It wasn't beans she was interested in though, it was the transport's uplink back to the M.A.N.T.I.S. compound. She'd managed to convince the scientist that she could supply him a rare piece of equipment he'd been asking around for and was even willing to deliver it to his test site... for a price. The muscles in her arms tensed as she brought the cycle to a stop by the transport; only she knew the item in her back was a worthless piece of junk, but everything went to plan: the part looked convincing and he made the payment. That's when her plan activated. The remote hack in her pocket decrypted his remote login and piggybacked his authorisation through the uplink back to base. Once there, it transferred large amounts of credits out through various accounts to hidden locations. She just needed to keep the link open long enough for the program to return the locations to her. She felt nervously at her right pocket while the scientist enthusiastically inspected and began installing her delivery. Her left middle finger developed a nervous twitch as he began flicking switches in no particular order. It was just as he reached for the most unnecessarily large of the levers that the hack 'bonged'. She had the account details and bee-lined for her bike. Feeling the eyes of everyone present watching her every move, she tried to act casual. She put her helmet on; it felt tighter than usual. It's the nerves, she told herself. Stay calm, stay calm. She started the bike, took one look back at the scientist and for a moment that lasted far too long, they seemed to just stare at each other. Her journey back to the outpost was uneventful, that was until her front hover pad exploded. The next thing she knew, she was on the floor and her bike was in three or four pieces fifty metres down the road. She tried to get up but every bone hurt. Her vision was blurred. She saw shadows moving towards her. Five... Maybe six. One of them came really close. She woke up an a room, it was dark, or maybe just black. She was tied to a chair with the hairy scientist sat opposite her. "They'd like to execute you" he began, "Not me, of course, but, erm, we need the credits back". She stared at him silently. "Shame about your bike" he added in an annoyingly pleasant tone. "I'll buy a new one" she replied. He had an irritating smile as he shook his head. "No you won't. No shops here" he said, waving his arms around like he didn't know what to do with them. His look turned more serious, he wagged his finger. "You have a problem". She raised an eyebrow "You?" she replied but he didn't seem to get it. "I can help" he continued. He leant forward and looked her in the eye "Give us back he credits and you'll walk out of here with a vehicle credits can't buy". She wanted to be awkward and just say no, she wanted to fight her way out, she wanted anything except the answer she knew made sense. She leaned forward as best she could and looked him in the eye... Once the credits were all back, he took her to a dim corner of some garage in the compound. She couldn't believe the wreck that stood before her. "Don't see what it is now" he nervously prompted, "work for us, and with our resources... a-and my research. see what It could be", she wondered for a moment how it had all gone wrong. How did they know where I'd be to hit the... It suddenly dawned on her. The hairy scientist wasn't the mark in all this... she was. Yseult Brenneux stood silently in a dim corner of a M.A.N.T.S garage on Marphacia looking at the shabby shell of some old hovercycle, getting angrier by the moment. She didn't try to calm herself down... She didn't want to be calm. Note for judges. This is my first entry and more of an introduction to the character. I understand it doesn't really align to corporate activities. Here's an additional image of the 'beat up old bike' for your benefit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Col. Brik Posted May 31, 2016 Now that is a intro! Well done and great MOC. Very well written. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soccerkid6 Posted May 31, 2016 Glad to have you in MANTIS! Excellent build and story. The sand green stripes look great in the wall, and the SNOT black slopes keep the wall from looking too flat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Greeble Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) Yesssss! Another great MoCer and storyteller on the side of M.A.N.T.I.S.! Fantastic intro and the addition of sand green in the walls looks good. Edited June 1, 2016 by Mr Greeble Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarHawk3 Posted June 1, 2016 Great first build. I can't wait to see what else you come up with in the future. Welcome to MANTIS and Andromeda. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David FNJ Posted June 1, 2016 Super cool intro! Looking forward to your stories and builds! Welcome, again, to MANTIS :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EpsilonEta Posted June 4, 2016 Nice intro I'd love to see that backstory built at some time Note for judges. This is my first entry and more of an introduction to the character. I understand it doesn't really align to corporate activities. There is nothing that say you have to “align” with some overall story. As long as it is about your character and fit in the world of Andromeda it's fine. The only thing to “nag” about is to include “location” and “tags” at the start of the post like: Location: B05 Tags: Civil, Land vehicle (I also confused the game tags with forum tags in the beginning) Welcome to AG (even if you joined the wrong team ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LucByard Posted June 6, 2016 Location: B05 Tags: Civil, Land vehicle (I also confused the game tags with forum tags in the beginning) Thanks for the tips Epsilon, that's exactly what happened. : P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andromedas Gates Posted June 9, 2016 The judges awarded you 4 points. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dannylonglegs Posted June 9, 2016 Wow. Now I'm really envious you didn't join Octan. Great story! Very well written... it makes me want to freshen up my own writing style. The build is clean and elegant. My only critique would be on the landing gear of the bike. The 2-2 cylindrical sliding parts seem a bit clunky on a vessel that size. It's still great though! ~Insectoid Aristocrat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LucByard Posted June 9, 2016 Wow. Now I'm really envious you didn't join Octan. Great story! Very well written... it makes me want to freshen up my own writing style. The build is clean and elegant. My only critique would be on the landing gear of the bike. The 2-2 cylindrical sliding parts seem a bit clunky on a vessel that size. It's still great though! ~Insectoid Aristocrat Thanks Danny - I'm glad you enjoyed it. The 2x2 'carpet runners' are the anti-gravity repulsers. It's not obvious with this being an 'old wreck' of a bike but should make more sense when you see one in better condition. That's a few chapters away yet though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
