Kai NRG Posted March 11, 2016 A few days ago, Guy K. Wyndzon received a short letter from his Uncle – much to his surprise. Although he had told his Uncle to “keep in touch,” it had never occurred to him that he would! The letter ran as follows. Guy, Since you asked me, I send a letter. Am doing very poorly. Was going to do two hangings yesterday, but the court called them off. Downright aggravating!!!! Nice weather here. Etc. Your Uncle. Given, 8 Mar. “Well! Some letter that was!” Guy tossed it down with an amused grin. “Uncle doesn’t have an atom of patience in his composition! I wonder what was really behind those hangings?” and the young Secretary of State indulged in a bit of speculation. But he was far enough from the truth. In fact, this was more or less how it went: “Román Esteban Fontajo! You have been found guilty of a horrendous debt, amounting to 5 gold doubloons! Come with us, immediately!” “I’m not Román, sir. I’m his brother, Rialto Espada.” “Well, come with us anyways! You’re going to be hung!” The man’s eyes widened in shock. “But… but,” he stammered, “I’m not Román! I’m not in debt!” “Hang your excuses! And you too! Come along!” A pair of brawny young sailor stepped forward and dragged the hapless Rialto Espada Fontajo out into the street. “Next stop, the town barracks!” their leader – none other than Guy K. Wyndzon’s Uncle – ordered. The group marched along, headed by the fearsome Uncle and tailed by the still thoroughly bewildered Rialto Espada. “KolonialBeamster!” the Uncle bellowed upon arriving. “What outrageous names some people have,” he muttered under his breath. Then, raising his voice again – “Come out immediately! You have been found guilty of a horrendous debt, amounting to… to… hang the amount! Come with us, on the double!” A smiley-faced soldier stepped up and saluted smartly. “KolonialBeamter’s complements, sir! I’m one of his minions. What can I do for you today, sir?” “You can come with us and be hung!” exclaimed the irascible old Uncle. The soldier’s tiny eyes expanded alarmingly. “Ye-es, sir,” he stammered. “Come along!” the Uncle ejaculated, waving one of the sailors up. And so the minion joined the group as they headed out toward the beach, followed by curious glances from the passersby. Once at the beach, Guy’s Uncle leaned over onto his stick, glowering. “Do your business!” he commanded the sailors. Nothing loath, one of the sailors scampered up the nearby palm tree. The Uncle waited in grim silence while his victims looked around them in a half-disbelieving alarm. Suddenly footsteps were heard in the distance, and Guy’s Uncle whirled around, only to come face to face with two darkly clad messengers. “Who are you?” he roared. “I bring an important message!” the one dressed in a suit and necktie exclaimed breathlessly. “I have an important letter!” ejaculated the other, at the same time. The first one turned upon the other angrily. “I am bringing the important message, not you!” “No!” the other one retorted. “I have the important letter!” “No you don’t! I have it!” “No, you don’t! It’s right here!” “What?! It’s right here!” Both men seemed ready to come to loggerheads, when Guy’s Uncle interposed – “Where are you two from?” “From the court!” exclaimed the man with the necktie. “From the High Council!” exclaimed the other. “No, from the court!” “From the council!” But Guy’s Uncle interrupted again. “Well, give me the message, or the letter, or whatever it is!” The messenger of the necktie bowed low and, with a glare at his rival, presented a sealed missive. The other one bowed even lower, and with a prolonged scowl toward his competitor, presented a letter tied with a silken thread. Guy’s Uncle took the sealed missive first. He perused it carefully, and as he read his brow gathered thunder. “What… what… what… nonsense!!” He turned and threw the letter violently into the sea, stomping and scowling and muttering. The two messengers exchanged glances. “I hope he doesn’t serve the other letter the same way,” one muttered. The Uncle glanced at the cover of the letter tied with a silken thread. It was directed to Román Esteban Fontajo. He turned and tossed it to Rialto Espada, who caught it instinctively. “A letter for you,” he said gruffly. Rialto Espada looked at the address. “But I’m not Román!” “If you can get hung instead of him, you might as well as read his mail!” Guy’s Uncle exclaimed – and abruptly walked off! The sailors and messengers and prisoners looked at each other in bewilderment. “Perhaps it has something to do with that letter,” suggested one of the messengers, pointing to the soggy piece of paper floating a little ways out. One of the sailors instantly dashed in to retrieve it. Then the group huddled around the squelchy mess and tried to decipher it. “It says… ‘To something somethingzon’… I can’t read the next part, but then it says something like, ‘error in calintention’?” “Calculation,” the minion suggested. “‘Error in calculation,’” the messenger nodded. He continued, “then farther down, ‘our regrets… no hanging…’” “Wait… does that mean… we’re not supposed to be hung?!” the minion exclaimed. “Hurray!” “Some of us were never supposed to be hung in the first place,” Rialto Espada sniffed. He was still a little perturbed. “Well, all’s well that ends well!” the High Council messenger exclaimed joyfully. “Say! What’s that letter you have there about?” Rialto Espada tore it open and read, To the honorable Román Esteban Fontajo, Greetings from the illustrious High Council of Trade. Your services on behalf of the crown and the city of Nova Terreli have come under our notice. We are pleased to present you, or a friend of yours whom you might appoint, with the following offer of mayorship of the grand city of Nova Terreli. Your response is eagerly awaited. _________________Guy K. Wyndzon _________________Secretary of State And once more the group looked at each other in surprised amazement. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capt Wolf Posted March 11, 2016 (edited) Is it bad that I'm starting to look forward to the monthly escapades of Guy's uncle? Edited March 11, 2016 by Capt Wolf Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kolonialbeamter Posted March 11, 2016 Uncle is the best! Let him keep the minion... for bad times! Besides, I have no idea who that 'KolonialBeamster' is, anyway Oh, and congrats to the Mayorship, Elostirion! Great fun! See you next month Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TitusV Posted March 11, 2016 Oh, I'm starting to enjoy that uncle Neat build Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Braunsfeld Posted March 11, 2016 I'm not sure whether I get everything of this - but at least you have been using yellow sand!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tezclatipoca Posted March 12, 2016 Hahaha ! :) nice and funny story ! I like this irascible uncle ! I hope I will not face him for hanging... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kai NRG Posted March 14, 2016 Thanks everyone, I'm glad you all appreciated the humor! I'm not sure whether I get everything of this - but at least you have been using yellow sand!!! Yep, I had to try something new! It actually worked remarkably well! And credit has to go to Captain Dee for making me get an orange backdrop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Genaro Posted March 14, 2016 Another amusing story as always. The writing is fantastic and makes me laugh. Can't wait to see next month's results and inevitable hangings. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kai NRG Posted March 16, 2016 Another amusing story as always. The writing is fantastic and makes me laugh. Can't wait to see next month's results and inevitable hangings. Who will be next to succumb to the fearsome Uncle and his ubiquitous palm tree? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Dee Posted March 20, 2016 Interesting and humorous twist on the concept. The classic yellow sand is nicely textured and doesn't look half bad. The orange background definitely warms the mood and seems more appropriate than cool blue for a scene in this type of environment. The substitution for KB's torso is pretty good, retaining enough of the look to be recognizable. I would say keep it up but that would require more people going in the red... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kai NRG Posted March 25, 2016 Interesting and humorous twist on the concept. The classic yellow sand is nicely textured and doesn't look half bad. The orange background definitely warms the mood and seems more appropriate than cool blue for a scene in this type of environment. The substitution for KB's torso is pretty good, retaining enough of the look to be recognizable. I would say keep it up but that would require more people going in the red... Thank you! Wish I had KBs actual torso, this was about the closest I could come! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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