Elegy of the Blade [G: J10 HC vs. U]

[Adair]

The wind wafted languidly over the water, as if in no hurry to get where it wanted to go. 'At least it's better then no wind.' Adira thought, staring up at the sail floating around above her, growing taught as another breath of wind was caught on it's canvas surface, then drooping again, as if tired from it's work.

“Captain Magdeburg, there is a matter that requires your attention.”

'Captain Magdeburg... who would have thought that I would be called that, especially all those months ago...' For a moment Adira let her mind wonder, allowing the waves before her to gradually change shape into the realities of her memories...

The sun shone down gently on the city of ~Berigora~, and a gentle breeze flowed through the winding streets. Citizens strolled through the streets on afternoon walks or on their way to whatever meeting or duty called them, in no hurry. Tijal the beggar sat at his usual place, taking alms from good natured passerbys. It was a surprise therefor to see someone running on such an afternoon.

Adira's lungs were almost bursting from her exertion, but in her excitement she hardly noticed. 'This is my chance! If father agrees, then at last my one greatest desire will be fulfilled!'

She could still remember Laffir's expression when she first asked him to teach her to play the Qanun, a local instrument that required great talent to master. At first he had said that it would be both frivolous and useless, and that she would quit before she ever got anywhere close to learning enough to even play a simple tune. But upon her continual begging he had finally relented, on the condition that she first get her father's permission. Ten minutes later...

Magdeburg wasn't her biological father, of course. He was Mitgardian, she was of Kaliphlin. He had adopted her after her parents died. But he remained her father in all ways except that, and she loved him as such. Thus it was to him she ran with this news, and she couldn't run fast enough.

Adira turned into the street on which her house was situated only come to an abrupt stop. A small knot of people were clustered around the door leading to her father's study, only there was no door there, just twisted hinges. That's when she noticed the sounds coming from that door.

The people around the door grumbled as she pushed past them. A sliver slid into her finger as she grabbed hold of the door frame and she winced. But as soon as she saw what was transpiring inside all her pain was forgotten.

Two Ul soldiers stood with drawn weapons while their captain watched. Just as she reached the door one of them raised his blade above a prone, motionless man in the corner of the room, preparing to strike. It took a moment for Adira to recognize the man as her father. A cold shiver ran down her spine, and she opened her mouth to shout, but no sound came out. The man's weapon fell.

Silence settled over those watching. The only sound was the dull 'thuck' sound as the soldier removed his weapon from Magdeburg's heart.

Adira stared at the soldier's blood-stained blade, her mind refusing to compute what she had just seen. 'No! It couldn't be! He can't be dead! He is my father! They had no reason to kill him!' Slowly anger started to seep into her heart, like a dark fog, obscuring all rational thought and replacing it with a cold, calculating madness. Slowly Adira stepped away from the door and glanced over the three soldiers. Her eyes alighted upon the commander, the closest one to her, and from the look of it, the best fighter amongst them. Without thinking, she charged him.

The man's eyes bulged as Adira rammed into him, sending him sprawling to the ground in an undignified heap. In the same motion Adira grabbed the one of the soldier's short swords out of it's sheath and swung toward his neck. There was a loud cracking sound and the man fell to the ground silence.

Adira felt a hand grab her arm and she turned to see the other guard standing next to her, a very condescending look on his face. Adira didn't wait to hear what he was about to say but switched the sword to her right hand and stabbed the guard in the stomach.

There was an angry noise from behind her and Adira caught sight of the captain, back on his feet and red with anger, behind her. Without think she whipped around and swung in his direction. Her sword met resistance but sliced through it, as if it were a thick rope or vine. Adira stepped back and let her vision clear, ready for anything. What she saw sickened her.

The captain stood staring at the stump that had been his hand. A small puddle began to form underneath him, and he doubled over in pain. One of the bystanders stepped in, an older one of the cat creatures, and helped the captain outside.

Adira stared at the puddle of blood on floor, trying not to look at the dead soldiers around her. 'I've killed someone. Two someones. Another I've maimed for life.' Like when her father had died, her mind refused to compute what she had done. 'I'm no warrior, I'm the daughter of a Mitgardian Merchant, here in Kaliphlin for a few years... how could this have happened to me?'

Suddenly Adira remembered her father, lying on the ground bleeding behind her. She quickly dropped the now blood-stained sword and dropped to her knees beside him. She felt for a pulse, hoping against hope, but she found none. For countless ages she sat there, her finger on his wrist, staring into his clouded eyes, but they remained as lifeless as if they had never seen before.

“Adira! Adira we must leave quickly!”

Adira turned blankly toward where Lorne Cairn, a friend of her father's stood. She had not noticed him in her rage, and now her mind barely comprehended what he was saying.

“Adira! Can you hear me?” His tone was urgent.

Adira continued to stare for a moment before nodding curtly.

“Adira, we must leave now! That Ul will tell his superiors as soon as he gets back to wherever he stays, then we'll have a whole pack of them upon us! Adira you must listen to me!” Lorne took a few steps toward the door and stopped, turning back toward her.

Adira silently turned back toward her father's body and stared at his face one last time. Slowly she reached out and closed his eyes. Then she stood and, grabbing the short sword she had used, for what she had no idea, strode past Lorne and started blindly down the street, ignoring the silent spectators around her. She could hear Lorne behind her, trying to keep up with her mad pace. “Where in the world did you learn to fight like that?”

She didn't know, she didn't care. One hot tear rolled down her cheek, but none followed. None the less the sorrow was there, felt all the more strongly for it's lack of expression.

A single tear rolled down Adira's cheek as she stared out over the waves, lost in thought. Slowly her eyes began to focus again and she faintly heard the sergeant's voice behind her. “Captain? Captain can you hear me?”

Adira turned, brusquely wiping the tear from her cheek and focused upon the soldier before her. “What is it Sergeant Adra?”

The soldier stared into her face a moment longer the snapped to attention. “Sir we are approaching our destination.”

“Good, prepare the men.” Adira turned back toward the sea as Adra began shouting orders to the rest of the force. She let her mind wander once more... 'Revenge. That is my life now. And my revenge will not be complete until every single Ulandian is dead and their island sunk back into the ocean.'

The build. This one I think I can say is my best yet, though I'm not sure about that. This is my first time using dark tan in this street technique, and I think it turned out pretty well. I'm also experimenting with half-plate height differences in the street, which aren't as noticeable from this shot, but gives the street a more varied feel IMO. What think you?

Build Pics:

A new antagonist maybe?

Anyways, this is my third GoH build, and C&C are appreciated. Especially critiques.

I would like to claim UoP credit for:

I: Roofing.

II: Roof Rakes (the gray building).

III: Interior design.

IV: Anthropology: City scene.

I would try for stained glass, since I did use that, but it didn't show up very well here. So...

Soli Deo Gloria & Sola Gracia!

[Graham Gidman]

Fantastic builds! Well done!

[Adair]

Fantastic builds! Well done!

Thanks! And for those that will vote on this: The city-scene is the one I submit for the Guerrilla attack. The other is purely for story.

[Kai NRG]

An excellent guerrilla, if say so I must! The first build is really nice, especially the sail but also the cabin roof, although that last one does strike me as slightly unrealistic for a sea-going vessel. The second build is just fantastic, the base and road especially but nice work texturing the houses as well! My only tiny nitpicks would be the roofs, which somehow don't seem to merge quite perfectly. Other than that, a really fantastic build that will be tough to counter for sure!

[Robin Creations]

Really good job! I think it's interesting to see people's different building styles. It looks to me you excell in landscaping

[Captain Braunsfeld]

Excellent build, excellent story.

If I am allowed to, I'd give you

+1 for roofs

+1 for roof raking

+1 for interior design

and I like your ship very much. I'd give you lots of points for that one (e.g. for the sails).

.. and I have a question: Where are the dark brown helmets from?

[LordDan]

Gorgeous builds! The boat looks great, but the city scene really steals the show here! It is fantastic! However I have a few problems.

1. You are on the high council side, so you can't post a MOC for the Desert King

2. I'm not sure if the city scene qualifies as a guerrilla, since it is a flashback, and the action has already taken place. Also there actual guerrilla action is not very clear to me. I don't feel like the city scene actually pertains to guerrilla action. I could see the boat scene as being gathering force or something similar which would be a guerrilla but the flashback build did not see like a guerrilla action to me

[SkaForHire]

I agree with LordDan here. The flashback build should be put towards something else, because it is not really a guerrilla attack. The boat should be the guerrilla build, because they are sneaking into Ulandus. You should use the flashback build for another purpose -- maybe the mini-challenge? Who says two critical points in Historica's story could not happen in same place?

I assume the DK tag was incorrect, and that you will want me to change it to HC?

[Spader]

Hmm. Nice builds! The ship I like, (despite the roof) the buildings look well done, and the interiors are good as well. The story is engaging as well. However, I still an not sure about sloped floors.......but nice work!

Edited March 18, 2015 by Andrew Spader

[Lord Vladivus]

Awesome builds!

[Adair]

An excellent guerrilla, if say so I must! The first build is really nice, especially the sail but also the cabin roof, although that last one does strike me as slightly unrealistic for a sea-going vessel. The second build is just fantastic, the base and road especially but nice work texturing the houses as well! My only tiny nitpicks would be the roofs, which somehow don't seem to merge quite perfectly. Other than that, a really fantastic build that will be tough to counter for sure!

Yeah, others have said the same about that one red/gray roof (though I kept it for lack of other alternatives as far as pieces go). Thank you!

Really good job! I think it's interesting to see people's different building styles. It looks to me you excell in landscaping

Halhi would have something different to say on that, but thank you.

Excellent build, excellent story.

If I am allowed to, I'd give you

+1 for roofs

+1 for roof raking

+1 for interior design

and I like your ship very much. I'd give you lots of points for that one (e.g. for the sails).

.. and I have a question: Where are the dark brown helmets from?

Thank you! I didn't see a ship building category either, otherwise I would have applied for it.

And as for the helmets, I have no idea. Someone else said they might not be lego, but I wouldn't know.

Gorgeous builds! The boat looks great, but the city scene really steals the show here! It is fantastic! However I have a few problems.

1. You are on the high council side, so you can't post a MOC for the Desert King

2. I'm not sure if the city scene qualifies as a guerrilla, since it is a flashback, and the action has already taken place. Also there actual guerrilla action is not very clear to me. I don't feel like the city scene actually pertains to guerrilla action. I could see the boat scene as being gathering force or something similar which would be a guerrilla but the flashback build did not see like a guerrilla action to me

As said below. And I personally had no idea that the timescale would have any infringements upon the qualifications... but I might be wrong.

I agree with LordDan here. The flashback build should be put towards something else, because it is not really a guerrilla attack. The boat should be the guerrilla build, because they are sneaking into Ulandus. You should use the flashback build for another purpose -- maybe the mini-challenge? Who says two critical points in Historica's story could not happen in same place?

I assume the DK tag was incorrect, and that you will want me to change it to HC?

Yes Please! I seriously did not notice that so... please!

And the Guerrilla is her permanently maiming the head of the Ulandian forces in that area (which consequently put him out of service). I mean, if I could use the post for both a Guerilla and the mini-challenge then I might, though I don't think that's exactly what your saying...

Awesome builds!

Thanks!

Hmm. Nice builds! The ship I like, (despite the roof) the buildings look well done, and the interiors are good as well. The story is engaging as well. However, I still an not sure about sloped floors.......but nice work!

Wow, an actual critique for once... that's a first!

[Yzalirk]

The building is very nice but I'm not convinced on the ship with the one sail and the story. The ship is too large to have just one sail and if it's supposed to be a merchant ship, why is there no captain's quarter nor any cargo storage? As for the story, if Adira is not a warrioress, then why does she carry around a sword? If Ulandus had no reason to kill the father, then why was he targeted? I doubt Ulandus would be targeting civilians. I'm also not a fan of the posing for the dead soldiers, still holding the weapons as if they were standing.

[Kai NRG]

Somehow missed the UoP the first time around. +1!

...If I am allowed to...

You have to be Kaliphlinian. Sorry! That's what you get for picking the wrong guild...

[Adair]

The building is very nice but I'm not convinced on the ship with the one sail and the story. The ship is too large to have just one sail and if it's supposed to be a merchant ship, why is there no captain's quarter nor any cargo storage? As for the story, if Adira is not a warrioress, then why does she carry around a sword? If Ulandus had no reason to kill the father, then why was he targeted? I doubt Ulandus would be targeting civilians. I'm also not a fan of the posing for the dead soldiers, still holding the weapons as if they were standing.

The ship is meant to be more of a fast schooner, and the sail is because i used up pretty much all the pieces I could in that sail, so I didn't have enough room to make it larger. And as for a warrioress... she is now. I guess she had the vague idea that she would have to do more fighting, and also it is to simplify her new life as well. And as we find out later, Ulandus did have a reason to kill her father, but she didn't know that. And as for the posing... it's about as close as i could get to various poses without taking off arms and the such... like having an arm draped over one's face and having one knee still in the air... but I will keep that in mind for later.

Thanks for the critique!

Somehow missed the UoP the first time around. +1!

You have to be Kaliphlinian. Sorry! That's what you get for picking the wrong guild...

Da. I can't be anything else!

[gedren_y]

UoP DoH +1 on all credits. Just so you know, unless your build is huge, on the order of Amortug or Mpya Stedor, you can only claim four credits per build.

[Adair]

UoP DoH +1 on all credits. Just so you know, unless your build is huge, on the order of Amortug or Mpya Stedor, you can only claim four credits per build.

Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!

[LittleJohn]

Very nice build. I like the street and irregular base

However, there doesn't seem to be a way to access the interior of the dark tan building, as there is something right in front of the door

[Adair]

Very nice build. I like the street and irregular base

However, there doesn't seem to be a way to access the interior of the dark tan building, as there is something right in front of the door

Thanks!

....... ?

[LittleJohn]

Thanks!

....... ?

Oops, didn't notice that was the door

[Adair]

Oops, didn't notice that was the door

Ahh! I see!

(... said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw... ).

[Capt Wolf]

I like the ship and the bulding interior. I don't have a problem with the smallish sail. The vessel has character.

[Adair]

I like the ship and the bulding interior. I don't have a problem with the smallish sail. The vessel has character.

Yes, that if nothing else. Thank you!

[Bregir]

I like both the ship and the city scene - there are so many great details on both builds, you definitely need to to look twice! My favourite part is the interior of the building, but the brick-built sail is lovely too! (although a tad small)

The Minotaur figurehead is great!

I sort of see how the flashback part may be too long in the past to qualify as a guerilla - but on the other hand, your explanation about killing the leader of the Ulandians could definitely qualify as a guerilla.

I also see how sneaking into Ulandian territory with your ship could be a great guerilla.

Edited March 19, 2015 by Bregir

[Jacob Nion]

I really like the brick built hull of the ship! The town is also greatly done. And you've put a lot effort into the story. But I also see the problem with your work as guerilla build. Regardless of story these are two different builds. And a guerilla build should be one build so the defenders can clearly see the size limitations. The ship itself is hard enough to counter.

Oh, and also thanks for supporting the desert king! I knew most HC members would realize his greatness :P

[Umbra-Manis]

Very impressive!