bricklayer

HELP Son frustrated with lego

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Whenever my son (6) plays with a set, some pieces fall off, or when he gets too "wild" with the set, it breaks even more apart.

Ex: Ladder on firetruck comes off easily when its extended.

I keep telling him its lego, and he has to be careful with it.

But I can clearly see he gets frustrated and he doesnt look forward to playing with his sets anymore.

Whats more, when pieces do fall off, when he tries to put them back he pushes to hard and he breaks another piece off.

How do I make him understand that lego is the best thing EVER!!! and that the occasional breakage is a minor annoyance?

Any feedback appreciated.

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My son was like yours at five -now he's seven-. Little by little, he has managed to be more patient and careful with pieces and structures. That said, I can clearly see that he enjoys a lot more building than playing with it. Something I can relate with, same happened to me when I was a kid.

I would recommend you to put more emphasis on the building process, I think that part it's the more rewarding one for a child. And, of course, be patient, he's too young to control his frustration.

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Interesting, I think your son later find out that sometimes it is normal .

But maybe it is only my opinion, but when I was kid lego seem to be tighter, my volkswagen camper fan are only for show, when I take it some pieces every time fall apart.

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My five year old daughter gets frustrated at times too, but same situation. She pushes too hard when holding on it. Frustration is easy with LEGO. I still get frustrated with certain pieces. Most sets fall apart I've noticed. I don't think it is a toy you can really play with, unfortunately. I think to design it in a way for kids to put together, they had to take some of the durability out of it. Plus the clutch power just isn't there anymore.

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I think when I was a kid I had the same problem with official sets although admittedly it is hard to recall examples as it was over forty years ago.

I think though that for me most of the fun I had was building my own stuff as I had a lot more bricks than actual sets. I think in doing this I made stuff that for me was solid enough, as I built it solid as I went to withstand what I wanted to do with it. I am sure that I over bulked certain points because I wanted it to hold together when I played with it and that was an important part of the learning curve. As i got older my models got more refined but then I also became more careful with them and more able to control my actions which in turn lead to less falling off.

I can see how it can be frustrating for children nowadys as less and less is just bricks and more actual models, but hopefully as he gets older things will improve for your son and he will learn the limitations of the sets and build as he likes and can manage. There is nothing wrong with him adding an extra bracing part herte and there if it helps him have more fun with a set. As I said i did it all the time. (And still do with some things!)

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You might try some technic sets. The way they generally go together with pins instead of studs makes them a little more robust, but can also be harder to put together in the first place.

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My 4 yr old is at the age where he cant build his own sets but sure loves playing with them. I always have to put bits back on that he breaks but he is slowly repairing his own damage that I used to have to do. I think it's just a natural progression for children and I think the key is to not get frustrated yourself.........

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I hear ya. Some sets are more fragile than others. I remember when my now 9 year old saved up for the garage set when he was about 6ish? That thing didn't stay together worth anything! After that, I was much more careful to read the reviews to see which ones were a little more sturdy in build.

For my current 5 year old, the juniors sets seem to hold up pretty well, anything with little cars is pretty good. I can recommend http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Juniors-Turtle-10669-Building/dp/B00J4S42YO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1419222181&sr=8-5&keywords=lego+juniors because he just put it together on his own last night by himself and played with it most of the day.

The issue is of course that the younger ones want the bigger kid stuff, I swear I have had to rebuild the melting room for my 5 year old about 12 times.....

Another thing I tend to do is reinforce some sets for play. For example my 5 year old just received a couple of the new minecraft sets for hanukkah. As he was putting them together, I noticed as he pushed hard, he was having some issues the way the small baseplates are positioned on top of bricks. (hard to explain, but trust me, yikes). I slapped some more flat bricks under the small baseplates and we seem to be doing better.

Anyway....fear not. The same 9 year old that was super frustrated at 6 really loves building and playing with modulars with me. Something breaks, we calmly fix. All part of it!

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Sadly, I think this is just residual of the way that LEGO is marketed these days - more as a playset, rather than as a building set - to a world that seems to want it given to them that way. The majority of it anyway.

This is a very impatient age we've cultivated; and its finally hit us where we've casually come to escape it - in the LEGO world. Didn't you see the movie? It was the symbolic bon voyage to the Classic Lego World of the imagination, and the introduction to the corporate Lego world - into the one thats predetermined for us. And of course, that even sounds somewhat paranoid to me - but while typing this, I realize that that really has been the fate of most every line recently - modulars, minifigs, and even the bulk of most brick and mortar store-shelf types of sets. The modulars are sold with a story attached, the minifigs exist in a virtual world and are now associated with certain personalities, and the most popular sets are those set within a licensed world with origins and a scenery of their own. And none of this truly involves a risk or discipline of the imagination...

But I digress. I don't have an axe to grind with LEGO, I'll do what I do with LEGO either way, and I'm not one of these people who really has a great concern over what LEGO does or does not do. Its just an impartial view of the way things seem to be all around us.

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One approach is to get sets that don't have as many tenuously attached pieces. I've found helicopters are the worst, but fire trucks can be pretty bad, too.

There are some tricks to getting things to stay together better. The tanker truck set my son put together last year had these crank handles on the top I knew would not stay attached for 5 minutes of play. I got my son distracted and took the tank apart, and put a pin from the inside of the tank to hold the handles in place. It worked. At one is still attached.

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Honestly, this is the perfect time and ideal situation to start introducing the idea of building his own stuff. Show him that just because it falls apart, doesn't mean he has to get frustrated. ^_^ Instead, show him that he can just take the whole thing apart and build something totally new out of it :D

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My advice would be to sit with your child and make something together......you put one part on, your child the next, and so forth.

A child looks up to their parents and grandparents as guides through life, Lego building is no different......if the child gets frustrated building Lego, then what would your child be like at sports, school work or making friends. Helping him, guiding him in Lego might also help your child in other areas of life. I use that idea with my son who has ADHD and it helped.

Edited by lightningtiger

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My advice would be to sit with your child and make something together......you put one part on, your child the next, and so forth.

A child looks up to their parents and grandparents as guides through life, Lego building is no different......if the child gets frustrated building Lego, then what would your child be like at sports, school work or making friends. Helping him, guiding him in Lego might also help your child in other areas of life. I use that idea with my son who has ADHD and it helped.

That's what I do with my Granddaughter, she's 4. She's helped me build of couple of mine, and we built a small Friends set together(her first non-duplo set, will have to look at the Juniors). She follows the pictures pretty good. Still has some trouble getting them to click sometimes on her own, but she don't give up easy either.

Hell, my grandson is going to be a monster builder when he gets older. He's 18 months. Hates his duplos, wants to play with my stuff. I let him under a close eye. He really likes the 9398 4x4 crawler. He will rip pieces off then try to get them to go back on. Sitting on my lap he plays with some of the trucks/cars on the desk. He likes to take the mini figs hair/hats off. He is doing real well putting those back on now. Rarely are they straight, but he can get them back on. Can't wait till he's older and we can start building together. Until then we'll keep busy playing with my trucks. I have the Lego semi that came out 4 or 5 years ago. Then I built two more of them in different colors. He loves "driving" them around on the floor making motor sounds. LOL

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Hi

yes, Technic is a very very good recommendation. It looks nice (not perfect" is highly functional and sturdy.

For normal City sets, try this one:

Explain there are sets and things that are sturdy and show/build some examples (multi layer plate beam for instance). Make clear other things do look like much more better/realistic a fire ladder for instance but that are fragil. Its up to him what to choose.

My son started building on his own then, grotesque cubes and chunks of Lego :) But he did it, had fun AND they have been sturdy :)

You can make a challange of it, who of you is able to build the longer and so sturdier beam of plates for instance.

Sets often do LOOK nice, but they are not very sturdy. Let him choosewhat to build and play with.

Dino

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I'm sure the older kits from the late 80's stayed put better than the current range does.

The Delorean frustrates me because every time I touch it the doors fall off!

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One approach is that when pieces fall off you celebrate because you get to build a whole new thing. That means that you can't do it wrong. If it stays together it's a win. If it falls apart, then you have fun destroying it and building something new. (Of course you might need to say that separate rules apply to your own sets!)

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I myself get frustrated with Lego, and I'm an AFOL... but I think you should give it a year or two and he'll be fine. My cousin is five and always is frustrated when he loses flick fire missiles, which is a similar (ish) problem

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I try to put a positive spin on it with my son (4 years old) when his creations fall apart. "The best thing about LEGOs is that you can always fix things when the break, and you can modify things to make them better!" That has pretty much become my mantra these days. It's frustrating, but a little frustration is good for kids. Learning to deal with the struggle is how they grow and learn! Besides... I actually kind of like helping him put things back together when they break. The "building" part of LEGOs is my favorite part. :-)

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