How Not to Get Killed: A Guide for New Adventurers- Tip #5

[Nightstalker]

I'm very excited to say that you're still alive (or undead if that's the case)! Something I'm saying, or your own genius, has kept you alive. Well done!

Continuing with these stories, I'd like to introduce you to Tip #5 and introduce you to Tim Stevens

I bet you have all sorts of questions about this picture, but I'll answer those questions in a minute. Mr. Stevens is a good fellow. He helped old women cross the street, he took out the trash (rather than dumping it in the streets), he saved multiple kittens from trees, and he always volunteered to run to the other side of the kingdom to get supplies the village needed. Because of his good deeds, the village bought him an iron breastplate and shield and a steel longsword. Furthermore, several of the guards taught him a couple of techniques. He believed this was his sign to leave the village and spread good deeds! Quite a noble calling indeed.

As he left the village, a young woman in a green dress ran to him for help. Her wagon had broken down, and her cow's foot had been caught in a hunting trap. This was his first good deed in the world!

Now onto the picture above, as he arrived, the young woman turned and summoned a magic barrier behind him. To make matters worse...

He was completely surrounded and had no clue of how to fight magic.

Within mere minutes (actually seconds)...

The bandit in the red coat sliced his head clean off, and they all celebrated in a job well done. Rumor has it, they made roughly about 7 gold from his armor, clothes, and various goods on his person. As for his body, I believe some squirrels got to it first. Darn, dirty squirrels!

This introduces Tip #5

- Beware of helping random citizens on the road. Not everyone you run into needs the help! Bandits sometimes utilize this tactic to kill wanderers and unwary adventurers

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Stay tuned for Tip #6

Hey folks!

Are you a skilled adventurer? Have you been through a fair share of quests? Do you just want to help people? If so feel free to submit ideas to HNGK: A Guide for New Adventurers. Who knows, you might just end up saving some poor soul!

As usual

Decals by Saber-Scorpion

C&C is always welcome and appreciated!!!

[Nightshroud99]

I enjoy reading these for some reason, keep it up m8

[SteampunkDoc]

Hmmm, you don't mind a suggestion or sixteen do you?

First, I think this would make a nice comic series, and making it into a comic page would really help with the formatting and help get things "Cleaner and neater."

I get that you want to build up to the tip, but it might almost be better to place that at the top, as a sort of title thing. Also, the tips seem to be getting more and more implausible and wild, are they building up to something, or is it just because you think those are more funny? They're fine, but having a few more realistic ones thrown in probably wouldn't hurt.

Also, the pictures seem really, really big, and between that, and the uneven text/pics balance, the pacing suffers considerably.

Thoughts are divided by pictures, text explains what the pictures should be showing, and the story is really told only by the text. A better interrelation between the two would really help the cohesiveness of the presentation.

The sorta fourth-wall stuff doesn't add much to the story, and in fact takes the readers out of the tale. May I suggest trying at least one tip without all of the "Curious about the picture" type statements? Looking at the camera angles, there isn't much variety. They're all above the set angled downwards. Perhaps adding some more dramatic angles, and interesting posing would help the overall quality.

And I'm not purposing change just for changes sake, and you're free to take any or all of this advice that you like, but if you have several more tips, it might be nice to experiment with some different formats.

Savvy?

The concept itself is interesting, and could make for a great parody type series, but the presentation seems just a bit lackluster if you know what I mean.

[Alfadas]

Nice, but he was so nice, and he is killed. I feel sorry for the guy. I like the weapons you gave the soldiers. Can't wait for the next tip!

[timmyc1983]

Nice guys finish last or in this case get killed first! I know from experience the former (hopefully not the latter!!!)

Very good tip, I have been following this series avidly, keep up the great work

Happy building

P.S. I'm not sure how many bears there were in Historic times, but I'd enjoy a tip involving a bear if you have one

Edited June 1, 2013 by timmyc1983

[Nightstalker]

Hmmm, you don't mind a suggestion or sixteen do you?

First, I think this would make a nice comic series, and making it into a comic page would really help with the formatting and help get things "Cleaner and neater."

I get that you want to build up to the tip, but it might almost be better to place that at the top, as a sort of title thing. Also, the tips seem to be getting more and more implausible and wild, are they building up to something, or is it just because you think those are more funny? They're fine, but having a few more realistic ones thrown in probably wouldn't hurt.

Also, the pictures seem really, really big, and between that, and the uneven text/pics balance, the pacing suffers considerably.

Thoughts are divided by pictures, text explains what the pictures should be showing, and the story is really told only by the text. A better interrelation between the two would really help the cohesiveness of the presentation.

The sorta fourth-wall stuff doesn't add much to the story, and in fact takes the readers out of the tale. May I suggest trying at least one tip without all of the "Curious about the picture" type statements? Looking at the camera angles, there isn't much variety. They're all above the set angled downwards. Perhaps adding some more dramatic angles, and interesting posing would help the overall quality.

And I'm not purposing change just for changes sake, and you're free to take any or all of this advice that you like, but if you have several more tips, it might be nice to experiment with some different formats.

Savvy?

The concept itself is interesting, and could make for a great parody type series, but the presentation seems just a bit lackluster if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the feedback!

I've considered turning this into a comic, so that idea isn't out of the suggestion. As for the "implausible and wild" factor, part of this is suppose to be kind of wild. To be quite honest, most of these ideas come from situations in books or games, so that is why some of them seem kind of out there. However, a few realistic ones are actually on the way; I didn't forget about them.

The text and picture balance is off; I've kind of been experimenting with it since Tip #4. Now, for camera angles and posing, that's partially just my presentation failure. I generally take boring photos (been working on it though), and my minifig poses are kinda weak depending on the design of the MOC. I'll definitely work on that .

Lastly, fourth wall breaking...

I'll probably cut back on it if it does help the reader get more into the short tale.

Looks like I got some work for Tip #6