Mitgardian Bard mini-challenge entry thread

[Jakon]

Official Announcement:

Are you a musically or poetically inclined Guildsman?

Announcing, the first Mitgardian Bard Mini-Challenge!

To honor your guild, compose song or ballad lyrics and/or music that tell the story of our famous heroes and enchanting history; be it a patriotic anthem, a rowdy drinking song that we can all relate to, or a sad slow melody that brings tears to the eyes... The choice is yours; all forms of song are accepted!

Rules:

Composition must have a flow like a song (i.e. be singable if music were put to it)

Please refrain form vulgar language or innuendo Music to go along with the song is not required, but is highly desired. (Although just lyric is acceptable)

Entrees will be judged by Jakon as per the Jarl's request.

All entries must be in by the end of March, and must be posted in this thread, as this is a text based challenge.

[Jakon]

Update

the contest is now open to all guilds, just change "Mitgardia" to whatever guild you are in, and "Valhol" to your capital city.

[NiceMarmot]

Well, I'm no good at music at all (and probably no good at lyrics either), so I'm going to steal a well-known tune and write new lyrics for it.

So here's an old sea chantey from the south Siccus coast. Fearsome Fightin' Sue was a legendary pirate of the Southern Ocean, known for her fearlessness, bravery, violent temper, and general malevolence, as well as her lusty exploits in beds all over the south coast, Gorr, and the Spice Islands. Most songs about her are way too ribald to publish here, but here's one of the more tame ones.

The Ballad of Fearsome Sue and the Whale

(To the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme song)

Just sit right back

And ye'll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip,

That started from this tropic port,

Aboard this tiny ship.

Her name was Fearsome Fightin Sue,

A pirate none too bright.

She set sail with her motley crew

To steal, plunder, and fight.

Steal, plunder, and fight.

Her ship was nam'd the Savage Shrew;

She leaked from ev'ry plank.

The sail'rs were elves without a clue

Named Billie, Guff, and Frank.

Billie, Guff, and Frank.

Two days out there weren't no breeze,

The ship was wrapp'd in fog,

"Row!" said Sue, "and we'll ply the seas.

Onward you scurvy dog!

Onward scurvy dog!"

Guff saw a black shape; he want'd t'evade

But Sue gave him a whack.

She curs'd, "Don't be so afraid!

Now you fools let's attack!

You fools let's attack!"

Frank lept up and prepared to board.

Guff said, "That be a whale!"

But his sage advice was ignored

Crazy Frank's wits did fail!

Poor Frank's wits did fail!

Frank jumped right into the whale's mouth

And ended up in its gut

No unluckier soul in the south

Than Frank the crazy nut!

Frank the crazy nut!

With the beast's tail the ship was swept,

The Savage Shrew was doomed.

On rugged rocks the ship was wrecked,

Sue and crew were marooned!

Sue and crew marooned!

The ship set ground on the shore

Of this uncharted desert isle

With Fightin Sue,

Billie 'n Guff too.

But poor ol' Frank,

Mentally ill,

Is captur'd still

By a whale, which ends the Tale

Of Fearsome Fightin Sue

Wow, getting the meter right was a lot harder than I'd imagined. This songwriting stuff isn't so easy...

I might have to make an MOC about this one... Add it to my list of builds.

[Jakon]

I must admit, I wasn't expecting to have any entries, so you just made me very happy

Oh, and, I had but to glance at the lyrics to think "Gilligan's island"

[Ecclesiastes]

I must admit, I wasn't expecting to have any entries, so you just made me very happy

Oh, and, I had but to glance at the lyrics to think "Gilligan's island"

Maybe it helps when you put in the topic that you can earn a title by entering this!

[Mike S]

As we Kaliphlins are patrons of the arts, I thought it was my duty to contribute as well.

My apologies for not having time to find one of Kaliphlins many beautiful and moving songs. I had given my personal bard the task of finding me a good ballad to enter this contest and this is what he came up with. "Good publicity for you, my lord," he told me. So with great hesitancy but due to time constraints, I present to you a short ballad you may hear sung in Barqa on occasion:

The First Guardian of Barqa

(To the tune of “Brave Sir Robin”)

There once was a bandit

That thought up a great scheme.

He was very strong and fit,

Power was his theme.

His band rode into Barqa

And so it was he became

The “Guardian of Barqa”.

His scheme became such a success,

Barqa was under his thumb,

He soon lived in great excess.

He had plenty of rum,

Many dames to caress,

A music troupe with a drum...

With coin travelers him did bless.

After a spell

He no more was Zeus,

For his body did tell,

His muscles hung loose,

His belly did swell,

And his brain became juice.

His stamina was gel.

Then Mikel Kalores came

And challenged him to a duel.

The bandit accepted the game

And to the ring they did level.

The bandit tried Mikel to maim.

But Mikel, the ring did circle

And when the bandit's lungs were lame,

The pampered bandit he did fell.

And so was the end of the First Guardian of Barqa

Edited March 22, 2012 by Mikel Kalores

[Jakon]

Maybe it helps when you put in the topic that you can earn a title by entering this!

Oops

Official Announcement

Prize: The title of (Capital city) Court Composer

@Mikel, very nice, I laughed a little when I reliezed where the song was from :)

[Angeli]

this is great idea, I will try to scribe something out - we Drow are so magnificent that using only words is hard to describe us, but... I will try. We are, a Drow, after all :)

[robuko]

The PGTC scribes and bards are travelling until April 1st, they have a tale to chill the hardest heart. Maybe the time zones will bail them out

[Jakon]

The PGTC scribes and bards are travelling until April 1st, they have a tale to chill the hardest heart. Maybe the time zones will bail them out

I'll extend it to April 2nd. Just this once though.

[Ecclesiastes]

I'll try to get something on time!

[Jakon]

Just a friendly reminder to everyone that your entry must be submited by 8:00 Central Standard time tomorrow

[robuko]

A bunch of the boys were talking the talk you hear when the embers are low.

The kid`s harmonica played an air that was sad and sweet and slow.

The flickering light in the desert night was lonesome and threatened to fail.

But then Old Jed spoke to the listening folk, and so began the tale.

Before the Black Oil there was not so much here, but fortunes were made all the same

Some fortunes were made through toil and trade, some fortunes were made in a game

The House of Qhatan owed its start to one man, and his name should not ever be said

In front of that House, for that man was a louse, and their fortune is theirs now he`s dead.

The outlaw McGee was a troublesome soul, who could charm any girl in a town.

He found that this route to a rich merchant`s loot would every time not let him down,

For fathers would pay just to send him away, and to keep him away from their wives

So that they could get on with their business at hand and live their responsible lives.

McGee would take hold of the family gold but it never stayed long in his hand.

He liked drinking and gaming, back-room entertaining, and spent a lot more than he took.

Well, he ran up some debts that just couldn`t be met, and couldn`t be paid with his looks

So he picked up his load and was forced on the road to take up honest work on the land.

Now Sancho Qhatan was a Kaliphlin man who had found pretty stones in a stream.

His beautiful bride glowed happy with pride as he showed her how he`d have them set

But that was before the outlaw McGee, the worst of all man that he met

Walked into the bar, grinned at him from afar, and made desolation his theme.

"My friend," said he, "you don`t know me. I`m a stranger who traveled the road.

You need men that are sound to dig Rakath ground, for what you have found is The Lode!"

McGee was a knave but he spoke like a friend, and his eyes sparkled honest and straight

While they dug Qhatan`s grave and they brought him his end, as the mark fastened onto the bait.

The Bride gave a shiver, "Dearest, stay by the river, and don`t go up into the hills.

There are grey wolves and bear, floods and landslides up there, and who knows what terrible ills?"

But the beasts were the least of her cares, wolves and bears were as nothing compared to McGee.

His fatal charm, that brought her harm, smiled, " Sancho, you`ve got me.

I`ll watch your back come wolf or bear, and I`ll stay right by your side

To fend attack, I`ll be right there, please reassure your bride.

McGee talked on like a trustworthy soul and Sancho fell under his spell

For Five per cent of the take of the whole, Qhatan walked straight into hell.

McGee kept his promise to watch Sancho`s back. When the two men arrived at the place

Where the diamonds were found, some still there on the ground, a fierce look came onto his face

And he launched his ungodly attack.

McGee staked the claim, made his name and great fame, from the fruit of his murderous intent

And he shamelessly lied to the young widowed bride as he forced himself into her tent.

Well, the desert is tough, and its men can be rough, but McGee was a low piece of slime

Who grew rich as a lord and amassed a great horde from the diamonds that came from the mine.

The passage of time brought the truth of his crime. When the body of Sancho was found

It was clear that his life met its end by a knife, and not by a slip of the ground.

No jury or judge could be found, nor a court in the town, to try this contemptible cad

For the fear of a grudge, as all the folk thought that justice could never be met

On a fortune so great, it was just tempting fate, to oppose him and all that he had.

The bride of Qhatan, how she cried and she ran, and the town made its choice to forget.

The bride bore a son, who was blond like McGee, and not curly haired like her Sancho

But she raised his as one of the family born free, and she called him her sweet little Pedro.

This Pedro became a young rake of some fame, for his smile and his looks were so handsome

But Pedro`s fate was decided by hate, though his manner was courtly and winsome.

He gained his chance at a formal dance, where his good looks had got him invited

The Lord would judge the debutantes, in their contests of sweet melody

The girls were excited and Pedro delighted,

for the Lord of this town was McGee.

"My Lord McGee, you don`t know me, but I think you know my face　

From　when you shave. And from your grave, you can ponder on its grace"

And with his blade he calmly slayed his father, that treacherous swine.

"I am Pedro Qhatan, I`m the son of that man, and I`m taking his fortune as mine"

Edited April 2, 2012 by robuko

[Ecclesiastes]

Unfortunately I couldn't come up with something nice. Not so very easy in english either But I really enjoyed the songs above!

[Jakon]

Official Announcement

Well, it was a close race, but in the end NiceMarmot came out ahead, and so, I award to you the title Petraea Court Composer wear it with pride

To everyone else, thanks for the participation, and better luck next time!

[Mike S]

Congratz NiceMarmot for the well deserved win. If you had not been the first to post, I know I for one would probably have overlooked the challenge.

robuko - your entry was a literary gem as usual. Kudos for Kaliphlin!

[NiceMarmot]

Wow, thanks! I didn't expect to win at all, certainly not after Robuko posted his epic saga. However, I cannot accept the title of Composer, as I have no clue about music, and certainly didn't compose any music. I could be talked into Court Lyricist, I suppose, although I really don't need any titles. And I'm quite happy with Master Cartographer actually.

This was a fun challenge, and a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I've never really written any lyrics or poetry, so it was a new experience for me. I did find it interesting that it turned into an all-Kaliphlin contest! But we are such huge benefactors of the arts, and our culture is renowned the world over...

[robuko]

Many congratulations to Gex, the Petrea Court Composer! This was a fun contest, something a little bit different. Well done Mikel too, for a thoroughly entertaining entry. I would love to see all these stories illustrated one day, in blocks of course. Funny how it ended up being all Kaliphlin, must be because of all those schools and universities we have. It's a shame that Abu Ali's school didn't enter any pupils I am sure if SkaForHire was not busy moving house, we would have had another great entry

Thanks to Jakon for hosting the contest, we will be very happy to have a drinking song contest with Mitgardia anytime Although, they are all probably too busy cracking on with some excellent builds, from what I hear.

[Gabe]

Congrats Gex/NM on the win and your new title!

[Jakon]

I was a little sad that no Mitgardians entered, so I made a song of my own

Up in the northland

There lived a bonnie lass

Who had e'ry boy in town

Fallin' o'er her

Her eyes were as clear

As a mountain creek

And her hair was as white

As snow in winters peak

And we sing hey ho

Around the bar

Drink your mead an'

Pass the jar

One day a boy came into town

From the great south

He took one look at her

And then he laughed

For he was on a journey

A quest to find love

And he had searched the whole world wide

And now had found his dove

And we sing hey ho

Around the bar

Drink your mead an'

Pass the jar

When he asked to carry her off

She looked at him and scoffed

For his rudeness in the way he asked

Could not be matched

She had grown up in this town

That he called a dump

And that "shack" that he pointed at

Happened to be her house

And we say hey ho

Around the bar

Drink your mead an'

Pass the jar

So the Southerner went home

Quite down trodden

Because when he had asked again

She had kicked him in his bottom

Now down the road

There lived a quiet man

Who happened to be looking too

For a woman to share his land

And we say hey ho

Around the bar

Drink your mead an'

Pass the jar

This man eventually caught her

And then they got married

They had three children

And were glad they hadn't tarried

One child in particular

Was of great renown

For he grew up and became Jarl

And it was said he never frowned

And we say hey ho

Around the bar

Drink your mead an'

Pass the jar

Nibelung was his name

And he was right before the gods

So they blessed his line and

They still rule, o'er the rest of us clods

And so ends the tale of the line of jarls

May it ever be blessed

So can live in peace

And lay our heads down to rest.

[Mike S]

I was a little sad that no Mitgardians entered, so I made a song of my own

A fine song Jakon! I think you should be awarded the title of Composer of Mitgardia for hosting this challenge and encouraging the arts in Historica.

[NiceMarmot]

A fine song Jakon! I think you should be awarded the title of Composer of Mitgardia for hosting this challenge and encouraging the arts in Historica.

I second the motion!