You, Your City, and Your Special Someone

[LEGO Guy Bri]

Greetings everyone! Looking through numerous topics and reading about members cities, I find it very intriguing when they are a result of a joined effort. So, I would like to start this topic about how you and your special someone got into or back into Lego. As a young AFOL I can say that I don't think I could have ever use my city as a potential chick magnet. As a teen having a girlfriend, my collection never came up.. outa site, outa her mind. Now, teen years long gone, I will eventually have to retrieve my city from my parents home and install in my house, eventually letting her know.. "Yeah, I still buy and build Lego." That'll be interesting. So, I would love to read how you guys/gals got your better half into this wonderful little hobby! Hope to see some posts

-LGG

[WesternOutlaw]

Interesting topic LGG.

First - I'll never forget the time, as a young man, that one of my girlfriends talked me into destroying my first Town layout, a Town that I had accumulated over years and spent hours playing with daily. She didn't think LEGO was cool, while all of my male friends in the neighborhood thought it was awesome. She talked me into taking each set apart to build one big house (that I never built), and soon thereafter, the pieces made themselves into various tubs, toy boxes, and bins, only to be mixed up beyond reconstruction until years later (with numerous missing pieces).

Now, MANY years later, my special someone understands my LEGO interest (as well as other toys), and is fine with it. The way I look at the hobby as an adult is far different than that of the kid I was once. Any "special someone" will understand that LEGO is part of what makes you special (you meaning any fan). Hobbies (LEGO or anything else) is part of us and part of who we are. There is a compulsive aspect for some of us (see Minifigure discussions), but at the same time, our significant other can help limit obsessive buying/collecting/Internet use by suggesting, "maybe you should buy that new leaf blower instead of so many of those little Clash of the Titan soldiers" or "honey, we're running out of room for all your LEGO despite the 4-car garage".

In any case, if you are having trouble helping your significant other understand your fascination with LEGO, start bringing them with you to LEGO events, make a pilgrimage to LEGOLAND together, build something special just for them, or offer to buy them jewelry, watch (or other expensive personal item) in return for that LEGO Exclusive you can't wait to get your hands on, and they may be a little more accepting. Jewelry always seems to work for me. I understand children help as well. Good luck!

[LegoSjaak]

Well LGG, must say, one reason i started with Lego again in August 2009 was the fact that my girlfriend was pregnant. Now my son (...best son in the world... lovely little guy) is 13 months and i have built a huge collection of City sets... I love being at home now and i combine it with searching for new and cheap City sets on the internet. It is also a lot of fun waiting on parcels to be deliverd... unpacking them and start building again!

But another reason is that i had a lot of Lego when i was young.. Had 4 12V trains those days... (i was born in 1971) and it brought me a lot of fun and i also learned a lot of it! Technic Lego made me doing a lot of things in and around my house now myself... Electrics, construction etc etc i love to do that myself, instead of calling a company to do that for me...

My girlfriend has hardly any feelings for Lego, but she's happy that i have my hobby at home. She understands i like to collect the City sets... but she doesn't now exactly how much money i put in.. but whe have a split account....Both we have our own accounts and 1 account for the mortgage, electrics etc and all other things like food, toys and clothes for our little guy! But fact is that i can decide for myself where i spend my money on...either on a more expensive car, wintersports or Lego..it doesn matter...so i'm happy with that and i feel like a little boy again... Later i will show the legoTown to my son, but he must be a lot older, because else he will wreck everything...

Right..everybody succes in explaining to your wife or girlfriend why you ordered lego again.....

Greetz LegoSjaak

[XimenaPaulina]

Very nice topic, this has been brought up quite a few times in the New Member's Introduction Thread, and it's nice to have a topic dedicated to it. This particular issue is a normal 'challenge' to most of us male AFOLs, trying to make our significant others understand our childhood passion of LEGO. There is really no proven formula dealing with this issue, as it is always a case-to-case basis. Personally, it was also kinda difficult for me to introduce my love for Lego to my girlfriend, as she thinks it's a bit childish for a mature adult to still continue buying and collecting a kid's toy. Even if she thought that way, I still continued with my Lego hobby, and as she always sees me browsing in Eurobricks, she got curious and checked out some of the stuff here. Surprisingly, she was very impressed with the beautiful CITY/Town creations that our MOC Experts have posted here. Eventually, she was able to understand my passion, the same way that I understand her own hobbies. She even registered as an EB member recently. It's just a classic give-and-take scenario.

Other possible tips:

- Having kid(s) is always the perfect excuse to buy more Lego stuff.

- If you still don't have a kid, one trick that really works for me is when you plan to buy some expensive lego stuff, always make it a point to buy your partner something that she likes too, so she won't really mind that you just bought Lego. Then both of you are happy.

Well, that's what only I can share as of the moment. I hope you'll have a relatively easy time telling your significant other. Bottomline is, if she really loves you, she'll understand. Period. 'Nuff said.

[admDaggett]

Basically, that is quite a hard question for me, as I had girlfriends who didn't understand and those who did.

I even was married and she talked to me about Lego and stuff, we often builded up sets together and she even helped me cleaning and sorting the bricks.

Right now, I have a girlfriend, who understands my liking of Lego, but she doesn't share it. (Ok, she bought some keychains last time we were in a LegoShop)

She also want's to help me in building and cleaning, so she at least shares the effect of doing something together.

I never builded up any city, so this was never a topic. But in every corner of my normal life there is some Lego involved. If you don't like me and my Lego, we are not meant to be a couple. That's how I see it now.

[Jargo]

I kind of have it a bit easier as a gay man because my partners have that inbuilt joy of nostalgia and toy tinkering inherent in men. My last partner (sadly no longer of this world) didn't exactly participate but gave me the freedom to indulge my brick love. And made an effort to appreciate my excitement over new sets and interesting part combinations.

My current partner is a fan of Lego. Buys me Lego. Played with and again now plays with Lego. our collections are combined. I think he feels I'm a little too obsessed with the brick but as I've been sitting here the last few days sketching minifig designs he's offered constructive critique and suggestions for new ideas. I'm positive that when I move my Lego hoard down from the attic to the main part of the house we'll both spend a lot of time together constructing.

To my mind though it doesn't matter if your partner doesn't share your brick love as long as they give you the freedom to enjoy it.

[Gryphon Ink]

Heh. My wife seems alternately curious about what I can build and appalled at the money I'm willing to consider spending on LEGO. She knows I want the Burrow and is just about okay with that, being a big Harry Potter fan, but I'm still a bit worried about telling her the next thing I really want to buy is the $100 MMV.

But I have pointed out to her that I buy LEGO sets with money that I put aside especially for that purpose, and that when I buy LEGO, I'm not buying DVDs or video games or whatever. She's pretty supportive about it. In fact, the other day she said, "do you know there's a LEGO store in New York?" when we were discussing our holiday plans. I think she sees the creative aspect of LEGO and appreciates that.

That might be something to point out to "other halves" who don't think adults should be playing with kids' toys. There is a really strong creative, even artistic, element to this hobby. I'm certainly not at that level, but many people on this site are. Show your spouses/girlfriends/partners some serious MOCs on Eurobricks, and they may come to see that building LEGO is not exactly like collecting action figures (no offense to the action figure collectors out there)!

[Mr. Elijah Timms]

Break it to her early on-- if you hold out too long she'll be far more upset with the fact that you kept a secret from her rather than that you're an AFOL.

My advice-- if you're into the collectible minifigs, get her involved. My wife really enjoyed opening them and seeing 'what we got' each round, and plus they're a relatively inexpensive hobby. From there she actually did some reading on her own and learned about how many AFOLs are out there and that it's not that weird of a thing, and she accepted it fairly easily. Even this morning looked forward to opening and building the sofa from the Advent Calendar. At one time I was afraid she'd really freak out when she found out I was into Lego, but by now I'm pretty certain she even got me a few sets for Christmas, which speaks volumes.

[admDaggett]

Well, that's exactly what I do with my gf - show her the MOCs here so she sees how creative some people are. I lack that talent too, but I am still able to have some ideas on Lego and I think, with practice comes the quality.

[LEGO Guy Bri]

Thanks to all for your enlightenment on this topic. You all have made very good points. Agreed that if you other isn't supportive your probably in for trouble. In spite of that, great stories on how you and yours were able to get back into this hobby. Whether it was through having children or just the liking/ missing the creative aspect of such a great toy.

I am very sorry about your loss Brickenhead-town-dweller, but happy to hear that you had ease in getting your partner to jump into Lego.

I look forward to hear more from members, perhaps how you got into your 'dark age' ended. Any ladies care to share their affiliation with Lego and they're spouse? Keep em' comin!

[supersympa]

interesting topic

regarding the end of my dark age...it happened exactly 1 year ago...when my son (4y, now 5y) got the city fire station for christmas...his first lego set...we spent the whole afternoon building it together...atfer christmas, the local toy shop was doing sale and we bought a few more sets related to city and built and played with them doing stories.

the light came to me! i was such a big fan of lego when i was young, now 32, that my mum told me that i would spend hours in my room with my brother playing with castle sets (mid 80's ones) and later technics...

(one of my old friend recently told me "i remember you had the biggest castle of all" :) )

anyway, my passion came back in the past 12 months, and today sharing with my son.

we plan to do a nice city airport that i will hopefully be able to show you within the next few months.

(a big airport with cargo, passengers, monorail train in the middle and all that stuff).

we also like pirate theme, toy story and castle.

regarding my wife...she complains sometimes that it takes some space in the house! but she softens a little bit when i spend so many hours building and playing with lego and my son "leo"!

money wise...well yes...i have bought a bit too much this year...but hey, we live once!!

I guess it is easier to explain when you have kids, and that is how i came back to lego hobby.

LONG LIVE LEGO!!

[MACIEK8791]

To be honest I would NOT suggest anyone to come out with LEGO to girlfriend or wife, or at least do not try very hard to do it.

We have to be realistic. For other people it's really nothing more than a kid's toy (like small matchbox car or a even a teddybear - let's face it, that's what the women think). I mean we should just be carefoul with sharing this hobby and do not be suprised, if she will not understand it.

According to me the only true special person who will understand and for which it's worth to do great effort sharing Your passion is Your kid - Your son or daughter. And this is also an important, god-blessed effort, because it will not only keep You close to Your kid but also You will teach him how to use a great, creative toy.

And this is also the only true solution, because when she will see You playing with Your kid with lego, she will understand everything! And then she will not only start liking lego but she will also agree to buy it with You without any doubts.

We are expecting a son with my wife. I started to by lego's and came back from dark age when the doctor told us, that we will have a son. Believe me it's a good idea to put Your woman into lego in this way, do not be too fast, trust me LEGO is probably not the best idea to improve the relationship between You and Your women

best regards

Maciej

Greetings everyone! Looking through numerous topics and reading about members cities, I find it very intriguing when they are a result of a joined effort. So, I would like to start this topic about how you and your special someone got into or back into Lego. As a young AFOL I can say that I don't think I could have ever use my city as a potential chick magnet. As a teen having a girlfriend, my collection never came up.. outa site, outa her mind. Now, teen years long gone, I will eventually have to retrieve my city from my parents home and install in my house, eventually letting her know.. "Yeah, I still buy and build Lego." That'll be interesting. So, I would love to read how you guys/gals got your better half into this wonderful little hobby! Hope to see some posts

-LGG

[Zanki]

I love lego and so does my boyfriend. We have tons of sets we've bought together since we started going out. Before then, I only had one large castle and a few small sets from when I was younger. It was easy for me to get back into lego as I have always loved it, but I became too old to play with it like I did as a child, so I didn't get anymore sets. Eventually my collecting of a series I had loved for years decreased (the merchandise went to crap) I ended up getting more lego. The lego gives us something fun to do together and creating something new for the city is a lot of fun.

[Davey]

So maybe I'm the minority here, but my wife is just as into LEGO as I am. In fact, as many of you know, Stacy is also a LEGO Ambassador. So how did it begin...

Back in 2002 we got married, bought a house, etc. A couple years after moving in (maybe 2005?), my Mom and Dad gave us a call and said that they had been cleaning out the storage room behind the garage at their house and found my LEGO collection. They asked if I wanted it and...well...of course I said yes! I brought it home and Stacy helped me to sort out the pieces and instructions and clean up some of the pieces that had gotten dirty over the years. After we had things kind of sorted out, I asked if she wanted to help put some of the sets together to make sure the pieces were still there. She said sure and that was the first step to her becoming an AFOL.

Shortly after, we built a 4' x 8' table in the basement and built a small little town. Stacy enjoyed building houses and setting up funny little scenes with the Minifigures while I enjoyed building trains and construction equipment. In March of 2006 (I think) we attended a local model train show and it just so happened that the Greater Midwest LEGO Train Club and the Twin Cities LEGO Train Club were there exhibiting. We met a bunch of the club members and talked LEGO for the better part of four or five hours. We spent a lot of time looking at their layouts and Stacy got really excited about the building possibilities.

After we came home from that event, she was hooked. We started buying more and more sets and getting more and more involved with the community. Then in 2008 we took the next step and decided to start exhibiting. That year we did the local model train show and then Brickworld 2008. I think going to Brickworld really cemented our desire to be a part of the LEGO Community especially due to the great people we met there.

As a result of being involved with Brickworld, Stacy and I have had the chance to do a lot of LEGO-related activities and she just gets more and more into it every year.

I think the key things that helped get her interested in LEGO were:

1) Seeing a huge display with lots of amazing building possibilities.

2) Having a desire to have a creative outlet and being able to use an artistic medium that is "easy to use".

3) Meeting other community members in person and seeing what a great community we have.

4) Having something she and I can do together and both enjoy.

5) Having something fun to do in the cold winter months.

6) Getting actively involved in the community and seeing just how much she can contribute.

I think this Christmas she's actually getting more LEGO than I am.

Yes...I am a lucky guy.

-Davey

[escortmad79]

My fiancee doesn't build Lego but she was instrumental in getting me out of my dark age! Last Christmas I jokingly said that I wanted some Lego for Christmas so she got me the red bucket of bricks & a large baseplate! Since then she has encouraged me to buy more & more sets, she knows the barcode for getting Spartans off by heart & helped me pick out a load of these. She has bought me sets throughout the year, allowed me to buy whatever I wanted so long as the bills got paid & I think I'm going to get a lot of Lego this Christmas from my fiancee & her parents!

We're even planning on having our honeymoon in Florida once we get married in 2012 so we can go to Disneyland & Harry Potter (for her) & the new Legoland!

[Jameson42]

I actually met my fiancée just as I was coming out of my dark ages a year and a half ago. We met on match.com, and I mentioned LEGO on the first date. She was very enthusiastic about it! She is an elementary school teacher. We hit it off immediately. She encourages me to keep building, and is very excited whenever she sees a new creation of mine.

I proposed to her in June this year, on her birthday. She said yes, and we immediately started planning our LEGO wedding. Her idea, not mine. Bridesmaids in Yellow, Blue, Red, and Green, a cake built from LEGO, LEGO centerpieces. We'll be married in May.

Our Christmas tree is covered in garland made from Duplo, and LEGO ornaments. Every morning this month we've opened the door together for the City Advent Calendar.

I say be honest. Share your interest with those around you. If the one you love can't accept and encourage your obsession, then that's only going to cause conflict down the road.

[FelixTheCat]

It was the Lego that got me the girl. She'd just bought the house next door and didn't know many people in the area so we started hanging out. One day she comes into my house to get a book and see's all my pirate ships on the dining room table. She was recently separated from her husband and with all her newly acquired spare time had gotten her old Lego collection from her parents place and started to put the sets back together. This of course led to spending time together building sets and sorting lego collections I had picked up. Of course when 2 single people who haven't had a decent shag in a while spend till the early hours of the morning sorting a massive pile of Lego, things tend to happen.

Now we both spend as much as each other on Lego. There isn't enough room in the house right now to build a city so we tend to build the sets, the 4 year old plays with them for a few weeks then we store them in our Lego building at the farm and move onto the next sets. The kids are right into it too. The 4 year old has been saving up all the spare change I leave around the house all year and just got his new Lego Space Shuttle Adventure set.

[Still Raindrop]

To be honest I would NOT suggest anyone to come out with LEGO to girlfriend or wife, or at least do not try very hard to do it.

I strongly disagree with this, and I'm sure many others here do, too. Not only is this idea rather degrading (you say "For other people it's really nothing more than a kid's toy (like small matchbox car or a even a teddybear - let's face it, that's what the women think)"), but it's impractical. I couldn't hide my love for LEGO from my wife--we live together in a small apartment!

Anyway, my wife knew I was an AFOL before we even got engaged, and she saw the city at my parents' house. She doesn't build with LEGO, but she loves the things I build.

[Gioppa]

My special someone,support my hobby,but don't play,like to see Moc and all i show of unbeliaveble on the web,the only thing she tell me everytime is:

-When you remove that castle?the cat is going to destroy it!

-just some day my love,i have to finish to clean!

-ok but yesterday i find a pirate ship aisde of the castle!from where it come out?

-ohh..nothing,my friend clean house and give me 4 boxes of lego..

-!four boxes!! where do you think you put all that lego!

-Don't worry. I have to clean,check if there is al the part and put away,but it need some time

-Ok,but don't fill the house with models,and remeber we have to clean house today

-OOOOKKKK,don't worry do you remeber i love you ?

-yes i know !

The only lego i give to her is the new yellow truck,because she love American trucks,and the minifigure of a blonde woman with the ramones t-shirt.

she like the gift,but still don't play with lego.....

[Teddy]

Five years ago, I told my girlfriend I wanted to buy a certain Lego set I could not afford as a kid.

Surprisingly, she than encouraged me to buy it, and that is how I got out of my dark ages.

I saw it on ebay and put in an offer and won the bidding for a relatively low price.

After that event it kind of started to snowball out of control for a while, with me buying anything Lego I could afford or get my hands on.

She likes the fact I am at home when I hobby with Lego, and she thinks about projects I can make.

She even likes me to showcase my MOCs in our living room for family and friends to look at.

She encouraged me to start my HMS Victory project and even organized a holiday to Portsmouth to see the real deal.

I started my castle because she is into fantasy books, and my library MOC because of her book hobby as well.

So I try to involve her into the hobby and she encourages me a lot.

So although she is not an AFOL she is very enthusiastic and supportive.

With my previous hobby as a coach and active sporter, I was away from home a lot for competition, training, race weekends, and training camps.

So, she likes the fact that with Lego building I am close by.

Kind regards,

Teddy