JoeMI6 Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 This is a story i wrote for an english assignment: Short Story with a twist. See if you can spot the twist. This story has recieved the stamp of approval from my good friend, Lord Thrawn. The Field They only ever see a shadow; his presence was always masked by the darkness. If they even felt him, they dismissed it as the wind, brushing the plants past them. The Field was vast, so he had a large area to hide in, but despite his muscular figure and bulking armour, he moved as swift as the wind itself, almost as if he had become one with it. There was only one reason the man did this, he had been trained to. He was a Samurai. No one knew his real name, as a matter of fact; no one knew anything about him. The Samurai was so careful to avoid detection, that if anyone ever saw him, they would only know that about him; that he was a Samurai. The silent warrior had nothing but that. His own silence, he had not spoken for years. He had no relatives, no friends and no life. That is, unless you think about the field. The crisp, clean cut crop of grain. Every day, from sunrise to sunset, he would patrol the field, with military precision. The Samurai returned to his secluded house in the centre of the field. Once again, a day with no disturbances. He hung his armour up behind the door, except for his sword. His sword was the soul of his warrior ship, and if he ever removed it from his person, it was considered disrespectful among the entire culture. As he lay upon his simple straw bed (as a samurai, he only had simple pleasures, and comfort did not necessarily have to be one of them) he caught a glimpse of something, something that only his trained eye could see. He dropped to the floor, then pressed his back against the wall, so as not to be seen. He moved slowly to the door, pulled it ajar to listen. The intruder was good, that was for sure, but he had failed already. The Samurai whipped around, grabbed the spy by the arm, and thrust him onto the cold floor. Quote
Lord Thrawn Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 As I said on MSN, that's great. *y* *y* *y* *y* *y* 5 thumbs up from me. Hey, maybe it isn't historically acurate, but it's fictionally wonderful. Outstanding work from such a young writer, if mI do say so myself. Brilliant job. Now all the remains is for you to continue the Exo-Force story you began... ;-) Quote
The Hordesman Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Hey, maybe it isn't historically acurate, but it's fictionally wonderful. You mean that there are like 20 samurais totally in the history of Japan? :-P Very good story! But perhaps there were a few historical misses, like that you explain as if every samurai slept simple, which is not true, but its no biggy. Perhaps you should have written about the goal of the story after it, because I knew there would be a twist from the beginning. ;-) Quote
Zane Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 .... ..... Nope, not getting the twist. Please, explain! TT Quote
Kikuichimonji Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Nice story! I don't get the twist either though :-P Quote
Lord Thrawn Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 It's subtle, and I had to get Joe to change it so it's more obvious, but I got it first time upon reading. I'm gonna let him post the answer, though. Quote
Zane Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I get it! The field is his heart and it says how Samurais are lonely and arrogant....or something. TT Quote
Lord Thrawn Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Reading it again, that could be a message, but not the intended twist. Sorry. ;-) Quote
JoeMI6 Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 The Twist is.... Sensei does not actually kill the Samurai, the Samurai commits suicide cause he can neither see his field perish, or kill his teacher(that's what Sensei means in japanese for those not in the know ;-) ) Quote
Zane Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 Ah. To be honest, it wasn't really clear that he died. Nice story anyways. TT Quote
jonfett Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 Ah. To be honest, it wasn't really clear that he died. Erm.. *wacko* A last gasp was heard ... one man collapsed to his knees and remained there, motionless.The shadows of death ... still linger upon the field. Seemed kinda obvious really Great story Joe, I hope this gets you a good mark! I'll be honest and say I didn't see the twist completely until it was revealed, but I like the hidden meaning and its very descriptive. Good stuff! Jon. Quote
Zane Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Meh, well I didn't think it was obvious he died..... TT Quote
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