The Hollow Village [comic]

[lego maniac]

Taken down for Re editing

good day

Edited April 8, 2010 by lego maniac

[hawkrider]

Needs work on the bubbles but. otherwise it's a good comic.

[Sandy]

I'm sorry but from a reader's point of view, that made no sense at all. If this was your first try, then it sure was a nice one. I liked the quality of the pictures, but you still need a lot of work with the comic. A lot.

As an amateur comic maker myself, I'm more than happy to give you tips on improving your work, if you want them. If you don't... well, just don't read any further.

First of all, check your spelling and grammar. The text makes half of a comic, and your comic was riddled with spelling errors, poor grammar and borderline incomprehensible sentences. Your native language is apparently Spanish (from the way you wrote jaja instead of haha), and I know English is not an easy language, but if your level of skill in English is this low, maybe you should do comics just in your language? Or have someone more skilled in English do the translation?

My first language is not English either, and I still make mistakes with it as well despite having studied and used it since I was nine years old, so I understand you. It's just that comics depend so heavily on the writing that a comic really suffers if the language isn't very good.

Secondly, add more panels. The scenes in your comic only lasted for one or two panels, which is way too short to really tell anything. If it weren't for the introductions you gave before the comic, I wouldn't have known who any of the people were. You also need to tell the readers more. Now we learned the name of the village, but nothing else. Where is it located? In what year? Make the characters talk or act more, let the readers know them before making someone shoot them.

For third, the cow is missing her back. Not a big mistake, but it bothered me.

This post is not meant to discourage you from doing more comics, you just really need to think about what you want to tell with your comic. If you want to tell a story, you must pay much more attention to the text and building up a base for the story to grow from. If this was just made for fun and trying out new things, then that's all well and good, but then you should think about if you want to publish them or just keep them to yourself.

I sincerely hope I did not offend you in any way, this is all meant as constructive criticism which I hope you learn from, so you can one day give us a wonderful comic about the people of The Hollow Village - or maybe about something completely else.

All comic makers start out like you have, if not worse. So keep on doing what you want to do, but also keep your eyes and ears open, and learn.