Cyclonis Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Well, its been a long time sinse chapter 1 was released. It was released in December last year, and I just had to wait till christmas had gone by, and then I had problems with my photography. The story is set in a forest, and i didnt have enough trees and such so i had to decide if i was going to set it in nature, with real grass and such as backgrounds. Aaaanyway, I decided to just try and make the photo sets out of lego and try to dig up whatever sutiable lego possible for the chapter. It was hard, but I got it done and Im quite happy with it! It took alot of effort to build MOCs for it, I had to build a number of new trees and rocks, minifigs etc with such limited green/grey/brown peices. Also with school and all, I just couldn't find the time to do it all. But I managed. ;) Without further ado, let me present the Newest chapter of the tale of Venolia - THE FOREST: http://jollybrick.cjb.net/ Click on 'The Tale' and then click on 'Chapter-2' and there you go! Its two pages long, by the way. It was originally going to go for longer, but I had to cut the story up into several chapters. Please leave comments, and if you wouldn't mind, then please sign my guestbook and leave a comment there aswell. So...do you likeys? ;) -Cyclonis. Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted February 20, 2006 Governor Posted February 20, 2006 (edited) Mr Cyclonis! You've certainly have put a lot of work into designing this story and the end result is quite well done! Its like the written story equivelant of a DVD including the extras! I have questions however... How is it that young Kayfir has a photo of his mother? It appears your story is set in medieval times and such technology wasn't invented for several years after this period, so it seems out of place. Why are there Star Wars mini-figures in the custom section? What is their relevance to this website? A couple of things I noticed. The "veonlia" text above the menu is rather difficult to read with all its ornamentation, so it either needs to be bigger or sharper to make the little details more distinguishable. The "Chapter 2: The forest" text on the Tale page is hard to read as white on a yellow background doesn't stand out. But they're just minor grievances.... On the whole you've done an exceptionally good job creating your own universe and storyline. By the way... Now that Chapter 2 has been released, when are the adiditional pictures for Chapter 1 coming? After a while Chapter 1t urns into a big block of text! Its much nicer with the picture of course! Edited February 20, 2006 by mister_phes Quote
Cyclonis Posted February 20, 2006 Author Posted February 20, 2006 Hey Phes thanks for the comments. As for the photograph being in medieval times - thats been pointed out to me before, I'll change it though in the next update. Its pretty stupid when i think about it...a photo being in the middle ages haha. I'll have to change that in my next update. See in the menu bar, how it has 'the tale' then 'characters' and 'landmarks' and such...and then it has a seperator bar? well after the seperator bar is the 'customs' bit...and the seperator was meant to indicate that the customs have no part in the story. Im not sure if this is very noticable. The 'Venolia' text is actually quite hard to read. I've just been experimenting with different types of texts and such for the site. As for the text in the yellow/brown background...I didnt even notice it. On my HTML editor, i set it as dark brown, but it automatically changes the links to white, unless i switch it to brown AFTER i activate the link. I know it sounds complicated, but ill have that one changed aswell. And lastly, I'll have to add some more pics to the end of chapter 1. That was originally meant to be chapter 2, but it was all too short so in a quick decsision i decided to shove it all in one chapter. I'll have the photos up soon however. I just had some more problems with actually building a lego shore for the story and everything. That part of the chapter will include more images though :) ANyway, thanks for the comments. Ill be changing some more things in the next update. -Cyclonis. Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted February 28, 2006 Governor Posted February 28, 2006 Cyclonis put a lot of effort into this tale so he deserves more feedback! Kayfir, Jasire and Baron are stranded at sea with no-where to go... Click HERE to find out what happens to them and then share your comments and opinions! :ph34r: Quote
Dragon King Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Wow! Great story it is exellente. Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted March 1, 2006 Governor Posted March 1, 2006 Come one! Come all! Read the beautifully illustrated Tale of Veronia! Click HERE click here to read! "Yep...we've spent almost a whole month on the seas...and we aren't anywhere near land. I can't see a thing but water and fog!" announced Baron in a very edge-y expression. It was like he was frustrated and also sad and wondrous at the same time. Click HERE Click here to read more! Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted March 15, 2006 Governor Posted March 15, 2006 (edited) PROLOGUE Welcome to Venolia. Venolia is a small walled area that the Royal Knights are to guard. The land use to be a place for jousting and training, but then more than half of the wall was blown away by an army of mysterious knights who arrived by boat, with no coat of arms for idenification. King Adipose of the Royal Knights suspected that it was the Dragon Masters, but some of the archers that were at the top of the keep thought it was the Black Falcons. The mysterious army came back two other times and burned down houses in the area. They continued to keep a low profile of who they were... Click HERE Click here to read more! Edited March 15, 2006 by mister_phes Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted March 28, 2006 Governor Posted March 28, 2006 Meet William! He looks so damn lovable doesn't he? Quote
Governor Mister Phes Posted April 1, 2006 Governor Posted April 1, 2006 Chapter 1: Stranded! Continued... Kayfir didn't really mind the adventure. He was never bored. He was never sick of the seas, and was always interested in venturing. He was fine the way he is. There Quote
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