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Posted (edited)

Well sorry for creating new topics again lego fans, as President/Manager of LegoCityRails we have got some fantastic ideas from our Train Tech moderator TheBrickster. So moving onto the main subject of the film there is now a murder aboard the Passenger Train instead of a hostage scene on top of the Train Station rooftop.

So as we move on the main characters are the following below:

Conductor Maxwell, Postman Melissa, Gerry the Gentleman, Bob & Jack Jones, Conductors Daughter Katie, Conductors Wife Jane, Simon Banks, Fire Chief Bill, Police Chief Callum and many more!

If you have any ideas or comments regarding to the process of the movie or cast please contact me by the email given under the official LegoCityRails logo

Much Appreciated by ConductorPete

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Edited by ConductorPete
Posted
... we want you to give us a full description of what you think the murder looked like...

I am sorry, I am not sure what you want us to do here. I thought that you were creating a movie, which sounds great, and I am looking forward to it.

I am kind of puzzled with what you are trying to achieve with the above questions. :wub:

If you want constructive feedback on your script, I'll (or maybe others) are glad to, but the information that you are giving above gives me the feeling that there is no script yet ...

Posted
I am sorry, I am not sure what you want us to do here. I thought that you were creating a movie, which sounds great, and I am looking forward to it.

I am kind of puzzled with what you are trying to achieve with the above questions. :wub:

If you want constructive feedback on your script, I'll (or maybe others) are glad to, but the information that you are giving above gives me the feeling that there is no script yet ...

Oh aawsum thank you for being the first to reply, the post i posted on here before about the murderer is no longer active as i recieved a email from a train fan. As for the script, we are in the process of doing that and we appreciate that you want to hear the story so far.

If you want to be take the role of one of our characters shown in the first post in this topic please let me know A.S.A.P so we can add your name next to the character.

Thank you..

Posted
If you want to be take the role of one of our characters shown in the first post in this topic please let me know A.S.A.P so we can add your name next to the character.

Well, maybe I wasn't really clear in my answer :sceptic:

I do not understand what you want to achieve. You give me the impression that you want to create a movie. Again, this sounds great. You are in the process of writing the script, fantastic. If you need reviews, you found a good place to have it done.

But in your response you are puzzling me again, -- take the role of one of our characters -- ?? What do you mean? It would help me a lot if you would explain a bit more what kind of movie you are making, how you are going to do this and what you are asking from the readers of this forum.

Also, I do not understand why you removed the text of your first reply, it makes the whole discussion strange ..... and not understandable :sad:

Posted
Well, maybe I wasn't really clear in my answer :sceptic:

I do not understand what you want to achieve. You give me the impression that you want to create a movie. Again, this sounds great. You are in the process of writing the script, fantastic. If you need reviews, you found a good place to have it done.

But in your response you are puzzling me again, -- take the role of one of our characters -- ?? What do you mean? It would help me a lot if you would explain a bit more what kind of movie you are making, how you are going to do this and what you are asking from the readers of this forum.

Also, I do not understand why you removed the text of your first reply, it makes the whole discussion strange ..... and not understandable :sad:

what i mean is you may apply to be be a voice-over for one of these characters and we will email the script to you and all you need to do is record your parts and email it to us

Posted

Lego City Rails And The Murder Mystery

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Part 1:

The day before christmas in Lego City was a conductor named maxwell who worked for Lego City Rails, the newest lego train line. Later that day there was a crowd of passenger ready to board the 7897 Passenger Train and when the time came to board the train and off came along a mysterious person and every other passenger stared at him but as it turned out he was a murderer he had said to the other passengers "Wats ur problem eh", then pulled out a gun. everyone was scared and said nomore exept the train inspector who was aboard to go to the next stop. The murderer was getting annoyed and angry and suddenly shot the inspector.

Posted (edited)

Well eveyone the script is done, so here we have fokes the Lego City Rails And The Murder Mystery script:

LEGO CITY RAILS AND THE MURDER MYSTERY

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PART ONE

Conductor Maxwell is at the train station waiting for passengers to show thier tickets to go beyond the barrier to go to the platform.

Conductor Maxwell: Goodmorning, Ticket Please - thank you, have a very nice christmas and a enjoyable journey

Bob Jones: We hope so

Jack Jones: yeh we sure do we will

Conductor Maxwell: Oh ok, well when you go beyond the barrier there is a restaurant upstairs

Bob & Jack Jones: Thank you

Comes along Fire Chief Bill and his assistant.

Fire Chief Bill: Hello Maxwell

Conductor Maxwell: Hello Bill, oh and hello to you my friend

Bill's Assistant: Oh hello sir Maxwell

Conductor Maxwell: So how can i help you two today then?

Fire Chief Bill: We would like to aboard the train for safety inspections with the Lego City Rails inspector

Conductor Maxwell: Ok, the inspector is on his way

Fire Chief Bill & Assistant: Cheers

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PART TWO

All the tickets have been shown to Conductor Maxwell and everybody is waiting on the platform for the 7897 Passenger Train to arrive.

Bob Jones: lets go grab a cuppa before the train gets here

Jack Jones: Ok then

Bob & Jack Jones go upstairs in the train station for a nice cuppa.

Micky Stone: Any service here guys i got to be home with my wife and kids for christmas eve you know

Conductor Maxwell: Hold up lad, we got other passengers to handle you know

Micky Stone: Ok sir, chill out

Conductor Maxwell: I won't chill out young man

Micky Stone: Who you callin a young man

As Micky Stone & Conductor Maxwell argue, a strange looking man jumps over the barrier.

Stramge Man: Whens the next train?

Bob Jones: In a minute I hope

Strange Man: thanks man

All the sudden Conductor Charlie & Engineer Max arrive at the station on the Lego City Rails inspection cart with the Inspector.

Conductor Charlie: Hello everybody

Conductor Maxwell: Hello Charlie

Engineer Max: What a suprise this is, its nearly finish

Conductor Maxwell: Indeed it is Max, we just repairing the train

Conductor Charlie: Ok then fokes, we'll go have a cuppa upstairs eh Max

Engineer Max: Ok boss

Conductor Charlie & Engineer Max go upstairs to have a cuppa, then soon after two Police officers come along looking for a criminal.

Police Officer Turner: Have you seen this man conductor?

Conductor Maxwell: I had seen someone like him earlier

Police Officer Spring: Well may we cut through and have a look

Conductor Maxwell: Sure come through

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PART THREE

It was getting to the time where the 7897 Passenger Train was arriving and it was just pulling up at the platform at Lego City and all the passengers got on part from the two Police Officers.

Police Officer Turner: Well we didnt see him

Police Officer Spring: Ok i guess so, well lets head back to HQ

(ABOARD THE TRAIN)

The train had just left the station and the Strange man is being stared at by the other passengers thinking that he is a murderer, back in 1981 he murdered a women named melissa newman who was a postlady.

Strange Man: (Gets out gun) PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR !

All passengers scream

Bob Jones: Ahhhhhhhh

Jack Jones: Ahhhhhhhhh

Micky Stone: Ahhhhhhhhhh

Other Passengers: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fire Chief Bill: Put down the gun young man

Strange Man: Im noway near as young

Fire Chief Bill's Assistant had hidden behind the seat and called for the police on his radio

Bill's Assistant: Boss I called for the cops

Fire Chief Bill: Oh, you did what?

Strange Man: Now why would you do that?

Bills Assistant: ermmm your a criminal, you do know that

As the 7897 Passenger Train approaches a crossing the Police have blocks it with thier Van and car surrounded by many officers including Turner & Spring, so the train slows down.

Stranger Man: what the hell, we're stopping

Fire Chief Bill: Its all over for you lad

The Strange Man fires the gun at Fire Chief Bill leaving him to die on the floor.

Bill's Assistant: BOSS !

Bob & Jack Jones: We'll tell the cops right away

The train had stopped, Bob & Jack Jones had told the police and they all charged in and arrested the Strange Man. But for Fire Chief Bill he had sadly died.

THE END

Lego City Rails Production : Directed By Peter Martin

Edited by ConductorPete
Posted

He there, good to see you wrote down your thoughts.

Some questions/thoughts;

(ABOARD THE TRAIN)

The train had just left the station and the Strange Man got out a gun and told everyone to put there hands up in the air.

Strange Man: (Gets out gun) PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR !

Why would this be? What is his motivation, what is the lead to do this?
The Strange Man fires the gun at Fire Chief Bill leaving him to fall to the ground.
What is the reason to do this ?

I think it helps if you mention the things form your previous post. Like that people are staring at him because they think he is a murderer? And he shoots because he is angry?

Finally I would advice to change the title. It is not much of a mystery in my opinion, it is more a realtime story, about something that could actually happen.

But maybe I am thinking about Sherlock Holmes to much when you say mystery.

I am really interested to see your video with the result. :classic:

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