Collecting and Children

[Mercury]

I'm not sure if this has been discussed before but I'm curious. How many of you have children? I have two, one of which is a 7 year old boy who LOVES Lego, but it seems that he's not as in to it on his own, just when I buy my stuff. This all started on his birthday last year when he asked us for the Jurassic World Indominus Rex breakout set. We gladly bought if for him because he's an incredible child, so well behaved and he cares for his things.

I put that set together for him because A: I freaking loved Lego as a kid and B: 1200 pieces is a bit large when it was his first real set. That gave me the Lego bug and I started collecting my own Minifigs and sets about two weeks later. Fast forward to now and I have around 15 sets and 70 minifigs with more on the way from Capt. America Civil War(YAAAAAYYY!)

Well, my little boy has since acquired a pretty large collection himself, pretty much equalling mine in bricks and figs, but he has a variety of City, star wars, jurassic world(all of the sets), and lego movie sets. We don't believe in buying our children toys every week because they already have a massive amount that they ignore including most of the lego my son has. He goes through phases where he plays with a set or a few figs for a day or two then forgets about it until I happen to get something new, then he starts talking about how badly he wants what I have. He raved over my first Iron Man (Mk 43) for days, so I bought him one. That fig was played with for about a week then he lost it for a month and only found it when I asked him about it. I keep telling him to save his allowance for what he wants, but he can't keep focused for more than a few days on just what that is. This week it's minecraft, next week he'll say he can wait on minecraft if I just let him buy *insert random Lego item here*.

I feel guilty sometimes buying myself new figs and sets, but in reality I just have a huge amount of buying power over the average 7 year old. I use a tiny fraction of my income for Lego, really not much at all in the big picture, but even at $25 to $50 a month spent on Lego that's much more than my son can buy on his own. Should I feel guilty for this? I am mainly buying Superhero minifigs right now, and with my tax return I am taking around $200 and spending it all on a carefully priced out selection of sets and individual figs on bricklink. My boy will be getting at least one of the figs because it's a duplicate. My concern is I don't want him to think I don't love him but my collection is separate and I proudly display my figs. I am having difficulty explaining to him the reason behind not buying him every set or fig he likes. I don't get every set I like, and I'll go weeks without ordering a new item. I should reiterate, my son's collection rivals mine due to gifts, he has around pieces and at my last count over 50 minifigs, so he's not Lego-poor. He has 5 bins dedicated to Lego in his room and I gave him a PAB cup to put all his minifigs in so he can keep track of them. I don't know why I'm feeling so guilty but I am. Does anyone else have this issue? Any advice?

[Peppermint_M]

No kids myself, but I am the oldest in my family and my youngest siblings are 10 years+ younger than me, as such, I was 18 and earning money to spend on myself and there were a trio of pre-10s to deal with. This included my LEGO mad brother who is 14 years younger than me.

On a month to month basis I would buy at least one set, usually something a lot larger than anything he could get. On family trips to LEGOLAND I would buy myself a big box set, easily three times the price of his gift from mum and pocket money purchases. Not to mention; I could shop independently of my family and make my own online purchases, opening up a wider range to choose from. He had gathered all the LEGO in the house that was not my collection, but even now it is a fraction of mine. Once I got a better job, I was almost weekly purchasing a small set or two, with a few splash-outs when things went to Clearance prices of holiday sales.

At first it was difficult for him to understand how I had so much LEGO and bought so much. We (my mum and I) explained in easy terms that I had more money to spend on things I wanted, often times that would be LEGO. I struck a deal, that he could play with what was built, as long as he was careful and didn't mix my things with his. This included any of my MOCs if he was super careful. He could help out with the big sets and I never excluded him when I was MOC-ing if he wanted to watch or help. I also made sure to pick up the odd set he would like, not every time I bought things, maybe every few months or so. Once he got older, we even started to spot each other the odd part to finish a build or make a good custom minifigure and he has free reign on my Constraction parts as he's a fan and I don't use a lot of the parts.

Consequently, he accepts that I am a crazy AFOL with a lot of LEGO. He is a much better builder than I was at his age. When a MOC fell down he fixed it, when I am building he is a great sounding board for ideas. I still get sets for him when I spot things he might like and has even quietly asked our mum if he should give back any set I buy him if it is one he already has. (Not wanting to be disrespectful by not accepting the gift, but knowing it is a double and I might want it in that case. He's turned out pretty lovely all told!).

I think feeling guilty is natural, you want to provide everything you can for a child, but on the converse side, you risk spoiling them by giving into every demand! If you keep on reinforcing that he has lots of LEGO to play with already and plenty of figures (even if it isn't that one), it should eventually stick in. The one that worked for my brother was a simple: "She has more money to spend on LEGO. Maybe if you're good you'll get some and if you are respectful, she is more likely to get you LEGO too."

I know the economic lesson of Money=Stuff so More Money = More Stuff is hard for kids, but they do have to learn it. It certainly motivated my brother to do more chores to earn more pocket money!

How do you display the figures and sets? If there is some way to delineate the "Grown Up" way from the children's way, it would add weight to the idea that your purchases were different to what he has.

[Mercury]

Awesome response, thank you!

I do separate our stuff. My loose parts are in my own plastic bins, and my builds stay in my room or in our living room on my desk, and both my children are allowed to play with any of my sets as long as they wash their hands and put everything back. The exception is my collection of minifigs. Those are on display and off limits. That's the only thing I feel guilty about because it's the only thing he can't touch. My reasoning behind it is sound: the iron man I gave him was scuffed and had a worn out helmet hinge within a week. I've told him over and over why my minifigs can't be touched and I'm positive he gets it. Mine are collector pieces, his are for playing with. I do let him play with my generic minifigs like those that came with my Parisian restaurant and similar sets.

[Japanbuilder]

I have bought myself too many LEGO sets since coming out of my Dark Age. I have two children and wonder if it is spoiling them. One difference is they're both girls and one of them is only 1.

But like the previous poster simply stating how things work, seems to work. I sometimes find myself saying "can't this week/month because I need the money for something else" suffices. If anything my oldest knows that this money thing seems to run low like gas on a car so when there is plenty we can "splurge" when there is not enough we get things that we need more than LEGO.

But she keeps plenty busy with things beyond LEGO so for now easy breezy. As she gets older it will depend on her "love" of LEGO or not. But she will probably just take for granted that daddy loves him his LEGO. heh heh=)

[Sarah]

I have an 8 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. I notice the boy has started playing with Lego more within the last year, now that Dd is interested. They only get Lego sets on gift giving occasions. (Birthday, Christmas, Easter) or for rewards in certain circumstances. Yes, I have more Lego. The childhood Lego plus the stuff I have bought. Ore recent. There are a set of mini figures I don't care about that I bring out for them to play with sometimes. And I bring my Lego out to play with together on occasion too--but only when it is out. Unfortunately, my daughter loves Lego but she also loses it a lot and I am not willing to risk that.

So far it has not been a problem I get more than they do.

[Mercury]

I've gone over the money aspect of it with him plenty. Tonight I had him brink his piggy bank down to me and show me what he had. He is up to $12.08, saving to $20 so he can get minecraft for Xbox one(It's my xbox, I've just decided to start sharing it with him). While looking at his piggy bank, he asked me about an iron man variant I plan on ordering next week, and asked what it cost. The one he asked about is Scuba iron man, but I'm buying it with a set so I just told him $10 just to give him a number. He said, "Oooh I have enough for that one!", and I reminded him that he had wanted to save for minecraft. He slapped his forehead and said "Oh yea I forgot!". He kept asking about different figs too and basically I totaled them up at about $35 or so. So we had a nice lesson in wanting more than you can afford and coping with it. I made him go get his bucket o' figs and play with them, and before long any mention of buying new ones was gone.

I got into this hobby for me, true, but just as much for him. I want to share the love of the brick with him, and it brings us closer. I recently bought the Lego Avengers video game, simply because I was dying to have the Silver Centurion armor variant. I had planned on selling the game still sealed, but I ended up giving my son the game and that's when I decided to share my xbox with him. He was pretty thrilled getting that game and though he wanted the minifig that came with it, I reminded him that I spent my money on that and it was a collectors item. His jaw it the floor when I told him what that fig goes for on ebay. Same thing happened when I told him how much my Iron Patriot cost. (I know, exclusives suck, but Iron Man/War Machine armor variants are my weakness!)

[Peppermint_M]

What I meant by display:

It looks super snazzy, you can decorate the frame to match the minifigures and then children can look and point but understand that they are not for running around the house with. Of course, it depends on your personal preference for display.

[Mercury]

I love that! Right now my display consists of a tan baseplate that is absolutely full of minifigures, in fact I need another one the hold the crop of new minifigs I will be buying soon.